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Thread: My most entertianing out and about story.

  1. #1
    Loves ordinary miracles SuzanneBender's Avatar
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    Wink My most entertianing out and about story.

    This event happened to me a few weeks ago in Kansas City. I told a couple of my girlfriends about it and they told me I needed to blog it. Since I have fallen in love with this site and the girls here (thanks Christine!) I thought I would post it here......

    I was in KC for a conference for work. As I often do when I travel, I dressed after work and went out for a drive and a bite. I decided that I really wanted to blow the diet and was in dire need of Taco Bell. I decided to drive through because I was listening to Derrick and Romaine on Out Q and they had a really funny bit going on and I didn't want to miss it. As I pulled into the line I noticed a large bush next to the sign where you order. If I had only known what fate and that darn bush would have had in store for me, I would have overcome my craving for greasy south of the boarder food and driven away as quickly as I could.

    I pulled up to the sign and was concentrating on hitting my girly voice so much that I wasn't paying attention to what was laying in wait for me in the bush. It was full, and I mean full, of little birds. As I noticed this fact the ring leader of the birds made a dash for my open window. The little beast flew past my face just as I was completing my order. Needless to say I squealed like a girl (pun intended) and totally began to freak out. My new arch nemesis, we will call him Jack Sparrow, flew into the passenger window at full speed and came to rest in my passenger seat.

    Quick review; I am in KC, in my car, I am in a line that I can't pull out of and I have ordered off the Frescetta menu because I felt guilty about eating at Taco Bell in the first place. Ohhh and I am en femme at 5:30 in the afternoon by myself. Well not really by myself because I have a stunned bird in my passenger seat.

    What was I to do? If Steve Ewin was killed by a kind cuddly sting ray what could this monster in my seat with a razor sharp beak and talons do to me? I rolled my passenger window down and try to shoo him out with a flip flop (don’t ask) that I had laying in my backseat. Unfortunately, all I did was reawaken the dastardly beast!

    He popped up hit the top of my car and then landed on my dash next to my hula girl. At this point, I am a car away from the drive through window. As my eyes met with Jack Sparrow's and all I could think was, "God please let him sing zippy do da and not let him be an Alfred Hitchcock fan". He seemed to bond with my Hula Girl because he just sat there pondering his next move. I pulled up to the drive through. The young man in the window took my five dollars and handed me my drink. As he did he noticed my little hitchhiker. He made a comment about me having a bird in my car. At this point the entire femme persona that I so love and embrace had totally flown out the window, unlike my new little buddy. I looked at him and in full guy voice explained, using an explicative or two that a real lady shouldn’t use, that it was because Taco Bell had seen fit to plant a bird condo next to their order sign. Now that I look back on it I really realize how strange this had to be for this young man. He just wanted an after school job and not all the drama that I had brought forth to his window. He worked past the initial shock of being greeted by a foul mouthed, pigeon lady who had a voice like Barry White. He quickly apologized for the bird and handed me my food. I pulled forward and parked in the lot. Opened my car doors and prepared to do battle with my little adversary.

    Here is what I can not figure out. How can a bird that made a pinpoint entrance into my car window right in front of my face not find four open doors on an HHR. I think my new arch rival thought it was a game of birdy twister because he just didn't want to leave my car. The other theory is that he just couldn't stand to leave my dashboard hula girl so abruptly.

    Time to review again; drive through, bird, I awake bird from the dead, bird falls in love with hula girl, nice lady in drive through traumatizes nice young man and now my rear is sticking out of my car as my front end is in the car doing battle with a bird that just doesn't want to leave. And let us not forget my food is getting cold.

    Enter young prince charming! The young man from the drive through ran over to help me get the bird out. He swooped in, again pun intended, and with a, "let me help you with that MAM" quickly vanquished the feathered dragon that had flown into my life. He apologized profusely for the birds in the bush and wished me a nice night as he walked back into his castle of Taco Bell. This is a run for the boarder that I will never forget the rest of my life and I hope Jack Sparrow has as much fun telling this story to his friends as I have mine.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Too Funny and well told!!!!!

  3. #3
    Once a Girl,always a Girl Dita_B's Avatar
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    Funny...

    Nice story, Suzanne and well written... While reading it, I could see the whole thing happening in front of my mind's eye...

    You should write more often...


    Dita.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Mistakes don't exist, there are only steps on the way to perfection...

  4. #4
    Silver Member Teri Jean's Avatar
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    Now that is funny, no pun, but think about it;you could have had white meat instead of Taco Johns. I hope this doesn't forever mar you for life. If this happened to me it would have been the same. giggles

    Teri

  5. #5
    Loves ordinary miracles SuzanneBender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teri Jean View Post
    But think about it;you could have had white meat instead of Taco Johns.
    Teri
    Wow never thought of that should have driven the little guy over to KFC.
    See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer


  6. #6
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    Well, when you feel like Taco Bell, there's not much you can do about it.

    Nice story, Suzanne. Are you always this unlucky?

    Kathi

  7. #7
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    What a great story Suzanne. See, you never know what little adventures await you when you're out dressed and heading for that Taco Bell!!! You never know... the bird may just have wanted your phone number for a future date!!!!

  8. #8
    Loves ordinary miracles SuzanneBender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathi Lake View Post
    Well, when you feel like Taco Bell, there's not much you can do about it.

    Nice story, Suzanne. Are you always this unlucky?

    Kathi
    I wouldn't call this an unlucky story. Now if Jack had gone all Hitchcock on me then it would have been unlucky. "News at 10....crossdresser in critical condition after rabid bird attack."
    See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer


  9. #9
    Loves ordinary miracles SuzanneBender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miranda09 View Post
    What a great story Suzanne. See, you never know what little adventures await you when you're out dressed and heading for that Taco Bell!!! You never know... the bird may just have wanted your phone number for a future date!!!!
    Tee Hee! I need to check my car to see if he dropped his little cell phone because he hasn't called. I really think he was in love with my dashboard hula girl.
    See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer


  10. #10
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Oh, wow, Suzanne! What an amazing story! And really enjoyed how you wrote it up. You really will need to write more around here now.

    Seems the strangest things happen at Taco Bell -- Dog's Wild Ride Ends At Taco Bell.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  11. #11
    Member JOJO44's Avatar
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    Love the story, and just remember, Hitchcock keeps coming back, and as for Jack Sparrow, he is the current reincarnation! So B E W A R E


    "Tee Hee! I need to check my car to see if he dropped his little cell phone because he hasn't called. I really think he was in love with my dashboard hula girl."
    His cell phone may not be all that he "dropped".
    Last edited by JOJO44; 10-08-2009 at 12:21 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]All good things come to "she" who waits!

  12. #12
    Gold Member erickka's Avatar
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    Roflmao!!!

    Great story, and well told at that. Glad all finally worked out!

  13. #13
    Silver Member Amy Lynn3's Avatar
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    Loved the story, but is it the same as....a bird in the hand (car)is worth two in the bush ? Sorry ! Someone had to ask that question.

  14. #14
    hot patootie,bles my soul marisa's Avatar
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    thats to funny. i am laughing my skinny little butt off. i think this is an adventure you won't forget for a long time. i guess i'll have to be carefull at taco bell from now on. great story.

  15. #15
    Have a great day! JennyS.'s Avatar
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    Too funny! Maybe Jack saw a pretty lady and felt like a relationship was in order. Break-ups are hard on people and birds!
    I just want to look pretty.....



    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #16
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    TOO funny, Suzy!

    I thot your whole story was for the birds!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #17
    Senior Member Sally2005's Avatar
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    Poor little bird... just be glad all the other birds didn't follow! Nice of the taco bell employee to help and good thing you didn't panic too much. Thanks for sharing the funny story! ...I'm thinking you have to be dying to share that story with people you are not out with...and its hard to leave out the CDing details.

  18. #18
    Just a girl at heart too Kerigirl2009's Avatar
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    That is a hilarious story, although I am sure not at the time. I am so glad you still got your craving for Taco Bell satisfied.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    What a great story, and what a great sense of humor you have in telling it. Have you ever heard the old saying, "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? I guess it just goes to show if the bird had landed in your hand instead of your car seat, the scenario could have had an entirely different outcome. Next time I go to Taco Bell I'll be sure to be on the lookout for Jack Sparrow or any of his cronies, so that I won't become the next victim of a feathered assault. By the way,,, How was the food?
    Luv and Jill


    Straight, into Fantasy Land

  20. #20
    Silver Member SherriePall's Avatar
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    Suzanne -- And you didn't even get a free meal out of the deal? I loved your story.

    I have had my problems with birds. Once every couple of winters one bird will somehow make its way down the chimney into our basement, via a small opening.
    Open the basement windows and try to get it out! Nope! Right by the opening, but never out until I almost literally have to push it out with a broom.
    Sherrie Lynn Pall

    Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.

    Please don't let me be the last post on this thread

  21. #21
    Member Ann Thomas's Avatar
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    Oh that is too funny! How sweet of the drive thru guy!

    Great story and great storytelling!

    Hugs,
    Ann

  22. #22
    Rene L -
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    I needed to read this! I needed a laugh - and I laughed until I had tears in my eyes! Is it possible we've found a new Erma Bombeck?

    Thank you SO MUCH for sharing!!!

  23. #23
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    That's hilarious! You tell a good story.

    I was on the bus, reading this on my mobile phone, trying not to laugh out loud so people wouldn't think I'm crazy.

  24. #24
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    Awesome story and a good laugh. Thanks so much for the smile.

  25. #25
    Member Laura_Stephens's Avatar
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    Great story. Thanks for sharing!

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