Transvestism/Crossdresser

[gemsay32]

What is the difference? According to my software dictionary, crossdresser means "Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex." The noun version for transvestite is exactly the same. However, the verb form of transvestite says, "Receiving sexual gratification from wearing clothing of the opposite sex." Am I in the wrong forums? For me, wearing or watching or feeling womans clothing is only something I do for sexual gratification. I don't feel like I fit in these forums because a lot of you appear to do this for other reasons.

[Michelle 51]

Hi gemsay No i don.t think your in the wrong forum because while we may vary on why we dress we all share a lot in common also.When i started dressing it was purely sexual but has evolved to where still sexual sometimes it more of how i feel and want to be.Its my secret place that only other cders understand.So i think if you hang around that you'll find a lot of support and understanding here because no matter who you are or why you dress you have friends here who understand .

lol justabit

[Gisele]

Hi gemsay No i don.t think your in the wrong forum because while we may vary on why we dress we all share a lot in common also.When i started dressing it was purely sexual but has evolved to where still sexual sometimes it more of how i feel and want to be.Its my secret place that only other cders understand.So i think if you hang around that you'll find a lot of support and understanding here because no matter who you are or why you dress you have friends here who understand .

lol justabit

Couldn't have said it better.

You fit right in dear. I thought I was some kind of sexual freak when I started to dress. Now, It is nice sometime's but not everyday. It is just a stage that you go through for a bit. You will become use to wearing womens things with out getting "excited" all of the time. I am sure there are some exceptions here and there.

Welcome to the fourms

[erickka]

Hi gemsay No i don.t think your in the wrong forum because while we may vary on why we dress we all share a lot in common also.When i started dressing it was purely sexual but has evolved to where still sexual sometimes it more of how i feel and want to be.Its my secret place that only other cders understand.So i think if you hang around that you'll find a lot of support and understanding here because no matter who you are or why you dress you have friends here who understand .

lol justabit

Hi, Gemsay. I 100% agree with this. If you hang around here, you will most assuredly have a greater understanding of yourself. There are a lot of fantastic and culturally diverse people here to talk to. We are all here for the same reason, to network with others who UNDERSTAND. Welcome and enjoy your stay

Huggs, Erickka.

[curiouslooker]

For me, wearing or watching or feeling womans clothing is only something I do for sexual gratification.

This is because it is so "taboo" to do it. Society (at least ours) dictates that it is wrong to wear womens clothing. That is why it is so arousing.

There are a lot of things that are exciting because it is not part of the "norm" to do. If it wasn't we wouldn't think twice or feel guilty about it afterward.

So, long story short, your normal.

[gemsay32]

This is because it is so "taboo" to do it. Society (at least ours) dictates that it is wrong to wear womens clothing. That is why it is so arousing.

There are a lot of things that are exciting because it is not part of the "norm" to do. If it wasn't we wouldn't think twice or feel guilty about it afterward.

So, long story short, your normal.

Feeling guilty? I don't do it too often, so the guilty doesn't bother me. (I don't try to look like a woman, but I did try recording myself many years ago to see how I looked - all for fun. My back was too big, too many muscles, wrong skeletal arrangement. So I couldn't use that for gratification purposes. In the end, I've found that the clothing is enough. It's a solely a tactile experience.) Now, there have been a few times I felt guilty. Right now I am kind of fuzzy about why, but I'll try my best to explain why I might have felt that way a couple times.

Here goes...

First point is that womans clothing is "weak". It's unmanly and society views it very negatively for a man to wear it unless it's simply fun/games/jokes for rare occasions. The jokes/fun might even be used to demean people who do it more frequently (transvestites/etc). Point two is that sexual gratification of any form is sinful from a religious standpoint. It's also indulgent and selfish to many people as sexual gratification that does not produce children is wasted energy.

The best way I can sum up why I've felt guilty a few times is that it's too indulgent and fake. I mean, I'm enjoying myself with an article of clothing? Shouldn't I be out there enjoying myself with real people?? Any type of activity that's indulgent and as unproductive will incite this feeling of guilt. It's not restricted to this alone. It wouldn't be so bad if the gratification I received required me to do things with people and learn life skills.

Sometimes I think that I'm blessed to find this kind of pleasure in something so simple and straightforward, but other times I think it's backwards and unproductive.

Thanks fo the responses, but I'm still not sure whether I belong here. Again, I'm not trying to be a woman and I don't want to be! Being a guy is great. You got more muscle mass and can move around easier, imho. There're lots of benefits - like being able to act stupid and have your friends pat you on the back with a big grin. I think where I don't belong in this whole guy thing is that I don't fit in with the manly men. I have always been weaker than them and tend to not like the dirtier aspects of manhood. I think I fit in more with scientist-types and artist-types and philosopher-types. I have great respect for a manly man though.

[AmandaM]

Transvestites hide out in seedy alleyways in the wrong part of town. Crossdressers hang out in their livingrooms, fine restaurants, and at art galleries. LOL

[PretzelGirl]

This nonsense reply from Amanda just goes to show what happens if you start believing in outdated dictionaries.

I think the "LOL" was Amanda's way of saying she was just making a funny comment.

[Charis]

I'm kind of glad this thread came along.

I think at the very core of it, I'm a Transvestic Fetishist (my interest in crossing hit me in early adolescence, and I still get a sexual thrill from wearing lingerie). That said, as I've matured I've gotten to the point where I just feel more comfortable in womens clothes, and it doesn't always have a sexual element to it.

I've realised that there's so much more to this than simply my libido, and while I don't necessarily want the sexual aspect of it to disappear, I'm slowly embracing my, um, platonic (lol, probably not the most fitting word to use) appreciation for all things feminine.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

aaaaargh! I'll never ge the hang of these abbreviations.

lol

[docrobbysherry]

U TOTALLY BELONG HERE, Gemsay! There r FEW, if ANY, girls here that haven't, at one time or another, derived sexual pleasure from SOME ASPECT of dressing!

Even if they don't feel that way now, they REMEMBER the feeling!

Crossdresser: person who wears the clothes of the opposite sex.

This can be divided up (if the fancy strikes you) according to motive. For instance:

[LIST][*]Fetishist crossdresser: gets sexually turned on by the feel of fur or silk or high heels

And using Katie's own post against her to prove her point:

I'm a fetish CD, but for me, it's all about the IMAGE in the mirror! And very little to do with the FEEL of the clothes anymore! 6 categories for CDs is woefully inadequate!
Maybe with 6 more SUB-categories for each one?

[PaulaJaneThomas]

What is the difference? According to my software dictionary, crossdresser means "Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex." The noun version for transvestite is exactly the same. However, the verb form of transvestite says, "Receiving sexual gratification from wearing clothing of the opposite sex." Am I in the wrong forums? For me, wearing or watching or feeling womans clothing is only something I do for sexual gratification. I don't feel like I fit in these forums because a lot of you appear to do this for other reasons.

The two mean exactly the same (ref Herschfeld who coined the term transvestite). Those who attempt to twist either to mean any form of fetishism do so because they pursue a dark transphobic agenda. I suspect you're in deep denial about your gender identity (I've even know closet w*nkers who've gone on to transition) but that's your business not mine. At least you can't catch HIV from your right hand

[Josey]

As others have already stated, "your in the correct place" for answers to your questions. Like you, my initial experiences with crossdressing were sexual in nature. In due time, this changed into enjoyable feelings not necessarily associated with sexual gratification. Keep reviewing various posts here and you'll surely get answers!

[mklinden2010]

>>According to my software dictionary, crossdresser means "Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex." The noun version for transvestite is exactly the same. However, the verb form of transvestite says, "Receiving sexual gratification from wearing clothing of the opposite sex."


You're OK, it's the dictionary that is wrong.

For example, someone who adopts the sexual role of the opposite sex is not "a" crossdresser or "a" transvestite.

Crossdressing means basically no more than wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. "Trans," as in transvestite, literally translates the same way.

"A" crossdresser is someone who wears the clothing of the opposite sex for a purpose, but that purpose varies too widely for your definition to be accurate, fair, or, helpful.

Look up bi-sexual, homosexual, and transgendered in your "software dictionary" and see how gender, clothing, and sex are mentioned in those definitions.

I'd be surprised if those definitions were any more accurate, honest, or, definitive.

River: A moving body of water with it's origins in a watershed and it's exit a larger body of water.

Like a roof, gutters and rain barrels?

[donna h]

When I first started dressing the sexual part was important, as time has passed my reasons for dressing have changed.IMHO if it were all about sexual needs it would be alot easier.Dressing makes all of me feel good and right, mind and body. You are in the right place Ive learned alot here, mainly that Im not alone and that has helped me immensely to accept myself for who I am.

[Sarah Michelle]

even the psychiatric community argues over the definitions for the two words. there is a commonly accepted point-of-view that transvestitism involves the fetish aspect of wearing the clothes of the opposite gender while cross-dressing is associated with gender identity disorder, gender dysphoria and just plain being rebellious.
for me; it isn't sexual, never was, it is about wearing the clothes that feel like they fit. the clothes change me when they are on.
there is a huge social dis-connect in that women can easily dress like men [suits, ties, pants, tees] without any back-lash but men don't have the same privilege. WWII and women in the workplace made it easier for them.

[Barbara Jo]

I aways used to say (half in jest) that a cross dresser is simply someone who can't admit that they are a transvestite.

Having said that, I really don't care what others call me as I know what I am and that's all that matters to me.

[Ann Thomas]

I agree with many of the posts above, where it started out as sexual in nature but then transformed into less than that later. So, you're in the right place, most likely. I found my sexual desires diminish the more I wear women's clothing, which actually helps me to deal with the desires. Even the way I look at women shifts, to where I feel it's more healthy when I wear women's clothing - I look at them to see what they're wearing, but not so I can judge them for the clothes or their body/face, but to look at the overall image and see if the look they have is what I want for myself. Then if it is, I will note the items/ makeup/hairstyle and try those combinations on myself later.

The desires to wear women's clothing has increased as I have aged, and I think it might be due to shifts in hormone levels with time. Not sure on that one, as I've not had any hormone analysis done scientifically.

I feel that God made me this way, and rather than fight against it, I need to go along with it, finding ways to diminish feelings that could be harmful to others. Crossdressing isn't evil, and accepting it has made me feel like a whole person.

As far as the difference in terms between transvestite and crossdresser, I'm not at all sure on that one. I'm just me and that's all that matters. I would prefer to be dressed female all the time. I know there's others that don't and are happy doing it only now and then. So which ever definition fits where you are, I'd go with that. I've kind of gone along with Transgendered for myself, wrong or right by others definitions, but it's a broad term I realize.

Welcome to the group!

Hugs,
Ann

[Ras]

Gemsay, for me it is still a sexual thing but still love the look and feeling of the lingerie. So one could say it is more of a cross dressing fetish. Bottom line who cares what the "label" is. do what feels good and enjoy it!

[Carole]

Hi Gemsay, like the rest I don't think you're in the wrong forum at all, quite the opposite. I started dressing, like a lot of other members at around age 4/5 so much too toung to know the sexual aspect of it. By my teens and later it would have been very difficult for me to successfully 'tuck' for more than a few minutes, yes it had become a sexuak gratification exercise. Now, however, that side has waned and the enjoyment is purely from the wearing of the clothing (well almost all of it ). Hope this helps and that you enjoy your membership here and we hear lots more from you.

[DaisyG]

Hi Gemsay, like the rest I don't think you're in the wrong forum at all, quite the opposite. I started dressing, like a lot of other members at around age 4/5 so much too toung to know the sexual aspect of it. By my teens and later it would have been very difficult for me to successfully 'tuck' for more than a few minutes, yes it had become a sexuak gratification exercise. Now, however, that side has waned and the enjoyment is purely from the wearing of the clothing (well almost all of it ). Hope this helps and that you enjoy your membership here and we hear lots more from you.

Carole, I couldn't have said it better. Like you, my first memories of dressing are just before age 4. By my 20's and for the following 30 years the sexual aspect came on rather strongly. Now at age 69 the clothes, the makeup, and the thrill of "being like a woman" are the focus of my dressing, and the sexual side has gone way out of focus.

Daisy

[gemsay32]

even the psychiatric community argues over the definitions for the two words. there is a commonly accepted point-of-view that transvestitism involves the fetish aspect of wearing the clothes of the opposite gender while cross-dressing is associated with gender identity disorder, gender dysphoria and just plain being rebellious.
for me; it isn't sexual, never was, it is about wearing the clothes that feel like they fit. the clothes change me when they are on.
there is a huge social dis-connect in that women can easily dress like men [suits, ties, pants, tees] without any back-lash but men don't have the same privilege. WWII and women in the workplace made it easier for them.

Sometimes I've wondered if policewoman get pleasure from wearing a uniform and being around a bunch of guys in uniform.

[vjaducd]

No, You are nut at wrong place, You are at a proper & correct place, A leaving creture on earth is produced on earth with sex so in c.d.ing sex will there be or otherwise why we would have been here.During c.d.ing if sex evokes then there is nothing wrong on the contrery c.d.ing satisfy our sexual urges & needs so be i contect with forum
vjaducd

[suchacutie]

It is true that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Unfortunately, we all like to be able to know what we are. For some, the labels "man" and "woman" work very nicely (even though those definitions are probably as hard to write as any other!). Some on this forum seem to be able to identify that they crossdress for relaxation, or because it feels good just to do it, or that it's a fetish. Others really feel the need to be identified in the other gender (to which, often, the term transexual is applied).

Then there are many of us who just don't fit. Without a doubt, I love to be Tina! Maybe it's just because she is new, but I don't think so. There is a feminine part of me that seems only to come to fruition when the clothes and hair change, the makeup goes on along with the nail polish, the voice changes, the body movement changes, and then the thought patterns change. If I never wanted to change back, it seems that "transsexual" would be appropriate. The problem is that I do want to change back because I like the guy part of me too.

So, I'm stuck with transgendered, or, as some have written, bigendered.

My whole point here is that just as the breadth of "man" and "woman" would really defy complete agreement in humanity, all the rest of these labels require qualifications and asterisks! Heck, even the term "human" has come under scrutiny! Maybe we all need to agree upon one label:

me

my
tina

[Ms. Electra]

Yes, if you read all the FAQs and listen to all the experts, crossdressers do it for the femininity, the gender issues and the lifestyle, while transvestites do it for the fetish. Personally, I do both, and I try not to get too hung up on it. When somebody asks me, I just say I like to dress in women's clothing.

Some people prefer hard labels, so they can define themselves. And I sympathize with their struggle to find a label that matches them, because it is very important to them.

Personally, I can't define my sexuality. I like dressing like a man. I like dressing like a woman. I dress in tuxedos. I dress in lingerie. I'm married to a woman and have a long term girlfriend, and I date boys and girls. I'm a top and a bottom. I've dated ftm and mtf.

What's important to me is learning about myself and others, and sharing experiences with those whom I find a connection with. Because those connections are incredible. Those connections are what define our lives.

xoxo