Comfort level

**Joanne f** · 10-12-2009, 09:04 AM

Are you comfortable around other people that cross dress or are TG,is your partner,wife,SO comfortable around others that do it.

Are you as a cross dresser or TG comfortable with the thought of being around others that cross dress, are you as a partner,wife or SO only have a comfort level with your partner`s cross dressing /TG and would find it very difficult to be around others that are doing it.
We seam to assume that if our SO`s are tolerant or accepting of our Cding then they will be accepting of all cross dressers/TG but are we right in assuming this or is there a level of acceptance that our partners will go to that would not extend to others that do similar things.
This might sound like a silly question but i have an issue with it and i really do not know why and some times i get the feeling that some GGs have full acceptance of their partners cross dressing yet have little tolerance of others that do it .
I know that there are many of you that have a completely comfort level of others as you only have to look at the Meeting Place on here to see that or look at one of the many Cd dating sites, or is it just a matter of braking the ice to get within that comfort zone.
And can this work the other way around for wife`s/SO`s in that they can be tolerant of others who cross dress but not their partners.

**PaulaJaneThomas** · 10-12-2009, 10:21 AM

I'm perfectly comfortable with being the company of other GV people. I've been doing it for over 20 years.

**Karren H** · 10-12-2009, 11:04 AM

I'm comfortable around everyone and anyone and my wife isnt comfortable around anyone.. Sometime including me! Sigh....

**Joanne f** · 10-12-2009, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

I'm comfortable around everyone and anyone and my wife isnt comfortable around anyone.. Sometime including me! Sigh....

Maybe it has something to do with the Gene`s or was that Jeans

**MiraM** · 10-12-2009, 12:54 PM

I'm a gay CD/TG and my husband is a gay FTM..so yeah, we are both pretty comfortable around other CD/TG/TS folks.

**jweanie1** · 10-12-2009, 02:20 PM

Actually, I feel more comfortable when there are other cders around as it makes it seem more "normal" (for the lack of a better word) than just seeing my fiance' dressed as a woman. We are actually trying to find places in our area where other cders hang out with the possibility of befriending some. I think have other cders our age and in our area would be helpful in talking experiences, setbacks and how to handle them, etc.

**Karren H** · 10-12-2009, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by joanne f

Maybe it has something to do with the Gene`s or was that Jeans

I think your right!! Her jeans are just aweful!! Though she did finally by a skirt!! Lol.

**Teri Jean** · 10-12-2009, 04:49 PM

When I meet people for the first time I'm as shy as a church mouse with a skirt on but it is because I'm new to this person and until I can warm up to them and their personality I will remain shy. but be warned "Karren" once I have you pegged the cuffs come off and we play and play for keeps. Keep your stick on the ice and no cross checking. LOL Clothing has nothing to do with it.

Teri "GO Minnesota WILD"

**carhill2mn** · 10-12-2009, 05:18 PM

I feel totally comfortable as a CD when around other people. The wife of my best CD friend is accepting of me but has a problem with seeing her husband wearing a skirt. I guess it is a "not my man" kind of thing.
I have not met any SOs of CDs who are comfortable with their SO being a CD and not of other CDs. However, I suspect that like me, they might not be comfortable if the other CD is not presenting in an acceptable manner.

**ArleneRaquel** · 10-12-2009, 05:22 PM

When enfemme I tend to be a little standoffish when in a crowd, at first, as time wears on I get very talkative, probably too much so.

**MissyW** · 10-12-2009, 11:34 PM

Both my wife and I are confortable around Gay / TG people.

**KayC** · 10-13-2009, 01:46 AM

Why wouldn't you be comfortable with other CD/TGs?

**Joanne f** · 10-13-2009, 03:35 AM

Originally Posted by KayC

Why wouldn't you be comfortable with other CD/TGs?

I can see why you would say that but i was just wondering that once a SO becomes comfortable around their partner`s CDing do they automatically become comfortable around others or are there some that would be happy to be in the company of there partners while they are dressed as a female but would not want to be in the company of others dressed as female,
It is just an assumption that we seam to make and i was wondering if we were right in doing that , but i can see that at the moment it is in favor of a yes on that .

Thank you all for the replys.

**Karen__Starr** · 10-13-2009, 05:53 AM

I am very comfortable going out with people, meeting friends even early on in life. What can make a difference is having a group you can hang out with or not. Back 30 years ago it was hard finding such a group but 20 years ago it was easy yet events were far apart. Now if I want to there are groups in my area which meet several times a week.

So if you are the type that is uncomfortable going out and would like to change then I suggest finding a group in your area and just do it. Take it slow but do not let life pass you by.

**mklinden2010** · 10-13-2009, 05:59 AM

If they're happy and doing no harm, they're fine with me/us.

On the other hand, if they're unhappy/mixed up/into sexual trips, they're a chore to be around.

You take them as they come and see how things go.

Same as anybody.

You seem to be asking if one's SO being comfortable with "their" crossdresser leads to them being comfortable with others.

I have no set idea about that. People are different in such things.

But, you do bring up a good point that CDers seem to struggle with - If you can be comfortable around your SO, they can more easily be comfortable around you.

It takes some courage, but that's all it takes. If you want to do something, it is actually easier to do it than to dither.

Again, for those CDers getting upset/angry/resentful that their SOs won't leave the house, etc...

Just do it.

If you said you were going to do something - do it.

If you feel like you should say something about what you want to do, like crossdress, just open your mouth and say it.

The people who love us want us to be happy.

Love will find a way - but it can't read minds!

**erickka** · 10-13-2009, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

I'm comfortable around everyone and anyone and my wife isnt comfortable around anyone.. Sometime including me! Sigh....

Couldnt' have described my situation any better myself! Thanks, Karren!!

**DAVIDA** · 10-13-2009, 06:07 AM

I am very comfortable around other CDs. Jean is just as comfortable.
We went to SCC in 07 and used to be members of TriEss.
My local CD friends know that they can come to our home dressed however they choose.

**melissacd** · 10-13-2009, 06:09 AM

To answer your question, my girlfriend is very comfortable meeting my cross dresser friends when we are all dressed up, in fact she really enjoys getting together with them. My ex wife on the other hand would never have considered it. So, as it is in all things, it is dependent on the individual and it is also dependent on asking them how they feel and moving at a pace that they are comfortable with. My girlfriend is a very open minded and social person so it was easy for her to be comfortable with other transgendered people around.

As for me I am way past comfortable with other transgendered individuals.

**slamddoger** · 10-13-2009, 07:12 AM

that is a good ? i cant tale if am comfort why pople some time yes and some time no

**Nicole Brown** · 10-13-2009, 07:49 AM

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

I'm comfortable around everyone and anyone and my wife isnt comfortable around anyone.. Sometime including me! Sigh....

Add me to the list of those who agree with Karren, as always she is right on target.

I just finished living as Nicole full time for 6 days and was totally at ease and comfortable being with people who know Nicole and meeting new people. One the other hand, when I picked my SO up from the airport early this morning, one of the first things she mentioned was that our daughter had met a FTM. She felt it necessary to tell me about this and her disgust with it. She is so broadminded, not..

Nicole

**ginat** · 10-13-2009, 08:01 AM

Being new to CD, i haven't had the opportunity to meet other CD/TG friends yet, but that is something I look forward to. I already know I'll be very nervous (does my hair look good?, how's my makeup?, do I look good in this dress?, are my boobs straight?, etc).

**Sandra** · 10-13-2009, 08:09 AM

As an SO I am comfy around anyone that is transgendered.

When I first meet someone I maybe a little quiet but thats just me and once I get to know them then I'm ok, but I'm like that with everyone.

**boardpuppy** · 10-13-2009, 08:19 AM

I don't have any CD friends (???), as fare as males, I have to get aquainted (warmup) with them. Know girls/ladies that is different, after a few minutes I am at ease.

Hugs,
Alice

**Engendered** · 10-13-2009, 09:38 AM

Wow, everyone is so comfortable!

I'm not though. It's a bit hypocritical of me I know, but I'd rather nobody else be crossdressed at anything I go to. Usually they'll make absolutely no effort, or will be the stereotypical comedy guy in a dress, and it just makes me uncomfortable to be associated in turn with that person.
Having said that, I've never met anyone who made a proper effort to look nice, so I would probably be more comfortable around them, but then who knows. Maybe I'd be jealous if they looked better than I did!

You can't win with me!

**Joanne f** · 10-13-2009, 12:34 PM

Engendered,
that doe`s make sense as i think that we can think that others will judge us
by how others are acting or are dressed and not how we are dressed ourselves so that will make you feel uncomfortable.

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