I saw this question in another thread but did not want to derail that thread into another topic, so thought I would try responding to it in a new thread.
I have a question for the Cders here. This is something that continues to confuse me. Im a GG and very new to this whole thing. I have heard many cders (mine included) that that whether they are dressed en-femme or drab that its still "my guy" underneath. Is it really? Because what everyone is say here is that its NOT just the clothes. That when you put them on you want to feel, act and be treated like a woman. So if thats the case then how can my SO still be "my guy" when dressed? Is this just an answer to get us to accept? Do tell.
There are a lot of differences among cross-dressers so it is important to understand that I am speaking to this question from the relationship I have with my wife
- am I still her guy underneath? The answer is "no".
I never really have been the guy she thinks she knows, either. It does not matter how I am dressed.
I've never told her I am the same person wether I am dressed or not. But that has been a belief that she has clung onto, of her own making. I let her have this belief because it seems to help her in tolerating me, and I want to be tolerated at least.
I really have disliked this belief she has, because it does not accept the complete / whole me.
She has her "man". She tolerates some of my behavior (which she sets aside into a defect of character box), and still believes that somehow I will one day pull out of it, and be the manly man she thinks I am or should be.
It is an incomplete, not entirely honest, fractured relationship driven on by both of us (me, ofcourse, being the most dishonest).
It is not just about the cloths for me. But thinking it is is easier for her.
It would be interesting to hear what others think.
