Nervous buying women's clothing?

[Michelle S]

Hi everyone! I have read many times about cross dressers telling sales associates that they are "looking for something for their wife/gf". I know how hard it was for me when I first started buying women's clothing and makeup. Well, here is an idea for the newbies. Get some practice by actually buying gifts for your wife or girlfriend or even your sister and mother. Buy your mom a nice twin set for Christmas! You'll get more comfortable in the women's clothing section and the women in your life will love you.

[Karren H]

Every female on my Christmas list is getting a new 36C bra!!

[Nicole Smyth]

It's really hard for me to venture into the women's section in drab. Sometimes I think it maybe easier to buy clothing while dressed. Especially size 10 shoes. I mean who am I fooling when I walk to the register in drab with a ladies size 10? I guess I'll start making a list and checking it twice

[sissystephanie]

Better idea! Go into the ladies department and pick out something nice in your size. Then walk up to the SA, hold it up and say, "Do you think this will look good on me?" In my experience, the SA will laugh and say, "can I ring that up for you?" All they want to do is make a sale, they don't care who is going to be wearing that lacy negligee!!

BTW, I have done exactly what I described numerous times. The reactions I have had include one clerk telling me that she did not think that particular garment would look good on me and she picked out something else, which I did buy. Another one told me the color was wrong for me, and gave me a different color to look at. I did buy it. A good SA will do what it takes to make the sale!

[Barbara Jo]

Wether your buying for a GG or yourself should not make a difference.
Just pick out what you want and pay your money. It is really that simple.

Personally, I never had a problem buying female things.
I remeber when I was in jr high school and had to get a jock strap. I was so nervous and shy when getting it. The "funny" thing is, at that age I was already buying panties and bras, etc and having no qualms at all about it.
If I only knew then what I know now.....

Anway, if anyone does have any anxiety about buying female things, SA real don't care who it's for. They are just selling/collecting money for the owner.
If you are dealing with the owner, you will have to search far and wide to find a businees owner who does not want to sell to a CD/TG.

[nvlady]

Here's a secret way to make it easier.
Start with an empty cart, select a birthday card and put it in the cart, select the item you want to purchase, and take the item and the card to the register.
The checker will assume they go together.
Make a lot of friends that you can send birthday cards to.

[Samantha B L]

Many years ago I used to tell the sales ladies that the stuff I was buying was presents for my girlfreind,or my aunt,my cousin,my sister and visa versa. this girlfreind that i had in 1978 and 1979 used to go shopping with me and she got mad at me and told me I didn't have to tell sales personell so many cheezy stories that aren't even true and that if I just went ahead calmly and shopped they would almost definately sell me anything in the store no questions asked. she also told me to stop going into a panic and pleading with her to "tell the lady at the cash register it's for you so I won't have to take any flak". I haven't seen this girlfreind in years. We eventually drifted apart. I have found out that she was right and that actually most places are cool about CD customers. I'm usually a little nervous before I shop but the worst that ever happens is that the store is out of the item or items I was looking for.

[Kathi Lake]

Nervous? Whatever for?!

Look, we're not doing anything wrong. We're not doing anything illegal. We are doing something a bit out of the ordinary, but then again, who wants to be ordinary? I've met ordinary. I've been ordinary. No thank you.

I find that women are more perceptive than you would imagine. They can smell nervousness and fear (sometimes literally). When you say it's for your wife and/or girlfriend, they know it's not!! The SA's I have spoken with have told me that they feel less inclined to help when, as one put it, we don't "man up" and admit who it's for. If you want a skirt, go find a skirt! If you need to try it on (and you really should), ask. If they ask you to go to the men's department, go.

Come on, ladies. You can do this - not with subterfuge, lies, falsehoods or misdirection, but with the truth. You are a man that likes women's clothes. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that!

Kathi

[Nicole Erin]

It is best to just get over the nervous and buy the stuff. Other customers don't care, and the SAs don't care. Once in a blue moon some dumb-ass SA might make a stupid comment, either ignore it or snap at them.

[Leslie Langford]

...Especially size 10 shoes. I mean who am I fooling when I walk to the register in drab with a ladies size 10? I guess I'll start making a list and checking it twice

I used to feel the same way in the past, Nicole, but not any more. Look around you, and if you start keeping an eye out for the taller GG's who typically wear larger size clothes and shoes, you would be amazed at just how many of them are out there - especially among the younger ones. And as for older GG's, their feet tend to get larger and wider after childbirth and as they age, bringing them more into our size range as well.

I usually wear a Size 9 or 9 1/2 in a woman's shoe, and when I am in a shoe store with self-service racks, that's where all the action seems to be these days, and I practically have to elbow the GG's out of my way to get near the shoes. As for the other racks which carry Sizes 7 or 7 1/2 etc., you could practically shoot off a cannon in them and not hit anyone. Besides, time was when the largest ladies' shoe sizes most stores carried was Size 10, whereas now it's Size 11, so even the merchants realize now that their female clients are generally larger than previous generations.

So no, when you go to the cashier with your Size 10 ladies' shoes, they will likely think nothing of it at all.

[Chrissy8888]

I used to be nervous when I shopped always over the phone (before the internet). Once the advent of the internet I just shopped online which made it easier but it was a gamble on the fit and how it would actually look in person. Then last year I set out to go to a store, JC Penney’s and told the sales associate I was looking for things for my self. I went during the week so that the store was not busy. Wow the sales associate was friendly and helpful. I picked out a nice suit, dress, and day to day outfit. She would not let me leave without shoes. It went easy. Now I did have to go upstairs to the men’s dressing rooms to try stuff on but she actually helped me with that too. What a liberating experience. After that I had no problems. What I actually discovered and was told by the sales associate was that the key was to have a mission and do it.

[Amymonroe]

Thank you ladies for the encouraging comments about telling the truth. i will try that when i go home for mid tour leave. i've been doing a lot of internet buying, mostly Victoria Secrets,but that's because i know how their stuff fits. but now it is time to pay them a visit in person.

thanks, erin

[Hope]

It's really hard for me to venture into the women's section in drab. Sometimes I think it maybe easier to buy clothing while dressed. Especially size 10 shoes. I mean who am I fooling when I walk to the register in drab with a ladies size 10? I guess I'll start making a list and checking it twice

My wife, and Paris Hilton, (two distinctly different individuals) both wear size 11... you know they make those 10s for real GGs... who is to say your wife is not one of them? Not that I thimk you should have to concoct some story to buy your shoes, just be glad you aren't a 14.

[Stephenie S]

Ladies, ladies, ladies,

Please stop with the silly excuses, ridiculous stories, and sad fears of guilt and shame. This is ridiculous. You are afraid someone will make fun of you? Well, they are. When you tell the clerk, "This is for my "sister" who just "happens" to be the same size as me", she doesn't believe you for a minute. And now she's out in the back room giggling with her friend over another dumb excuse.

Listen girls, SA do this for a living. They are out there all day every day. They have heard EVERY sad, silly, excuse in the book. They don't believe ANY of them. You think you can come up with one that they haven't heard before? Yeah, get real!

The truth is - - -The FACT is - - - NONE of these dumb a*s stories is necessary!! SA are there to help you. They know ALL about you already. Guys buy women's stuff ALL THE TIME. Let the poor girl HELP you. When they come up and ask, "Can I help you?" say YES.

"I'm looking for a new skirt. Do you think this skirt suits me?"

Or better yet, shop for an OUTFIT. Alway shop for a whole "look". Tell her you are going out and need a new outfit. She will help you pick out things that go together.

I have repeated Kathi's post here because it is SO important. Read it again! Read it to yourself OUT LOUD. Remember it!

Nervous? Whatever for?!

Look, we're not doing anything wrong. We're not doing anything illegal. We are doing something a bit out of the ordinary, but then again, who wants to be ordinary? I've met ordinary. I've been ordinary. No thank you.

I find that women (read sales associates) are more perceptive than you would imagine. They can smell nervousness and fear (sometimes literally). When you say it's for your wife and/or girlfriend, they know it's not!! The SA's I have spoken with have told me that they feel less inclined to help when, as one put it, we don't "man up" and admit who it's for. If you want a skirt, go find a skirt! If you need to try it on (and you really should), ask. If they ask you to go to the men's department, go. Put it on, and go back and show her.

LET HER HELP YOU!

Come on, ladies. You can do this - not with subterfuge, lies, falsehoods or misdirection, but with the truth. You are a man that likes women's clothes. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that!

Kathi

It always amazes me to see and read how a man, a big strong MAN can be reduced to quivering jelly at the thought of someone finding out his "secret". Guess what? It ain't a secret anymore if you are shopping for women's clothes. Come on! Men are made of courage. Men are all about courage, right? Use some of it.

Shop for what you want. You are breaking no laws, neither God's nor man's. SA want to help you. Stores want to sell to you. If you want a new best friend, start piling clothes near the register.

If you want to stay in the closet, do so. There is NOTHING wrong with that. But if you want to go out and shop, do that too. But please shop WITHOUT these silly, useless, unbelievable, excuses. You are only embarrassing yourself.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[DanyaKay]

Put me on your Christmas list.

[Barbara918]

One time as I was browsing through the racks the salesclerk asked if she could be of some assistance ... I simply said, "Thank you, but not just yet. I know my sizes by now."

[Ashley_in_Texas]

I never have a problem buying clothes. I don't get asked if the items are for me. Usually, the only thing they ask me is "did you find everything ok?" or "will that be all for you today?" The only time I was ever asked if something was for me, was at a Kmart, when I bought my first pair of heels. The young girl at the register looked at the size 12 shoes, then looked at me and said "are these for you?" I said "Yea... does that matter?" she said "NO-no-no, it doesn't matter, I was just curious. Thank you, have a nice day" and gave me a wink.

[Amy Lynn3]

Why offer any excuse, just walk up to the register and pay for your item. If the SA ask who you are buying this for, ask her why she would like to know. Answer questions with questions. I have had male SA's ask me who I was buying for. I just ask them why do they want to know, one I ask why are you making a pass at me.
If the SA ask if they can help and you need it, allow them to help you. You will be much more pleased with the purchase you make.

[Starr]

I may have told this story before if so I am sorry, I was shopping at a Deb's store and bought several items from the plus size area.. when I was checking out two young ladies were at the counter. The one putting things in the bag ask if these were for my lady and the other one who had seen the sizes smiled and said "No, they are for him" and I smiled and said yes they were. I was told to have a nice day and I took my purchase and left.

[Nikki A.]

I used to get nervous especially when going into a store the first time. Not so much the shopping but worrying about running into someone I know, especially when shopping close to home.
But when I do go, I politely ask if they have a problem if it's for me and to this point I have had no problems, been treated as any other shopper and I do try them on there and even have asked for their opinions on fit and style. If dressed (very rarely) I don't even ask. they already know its for me. Funny story, in a Dress Barn the SA complemented my wig and then showed me that she was wearing hers also.

[k lynn]

I always tell the sa the clothes are for me.Just last week ordered two pair of vs no peek pantie jeans over the phone. When the sa asked and started talking about what size does she wear. I STOP HER and told her they are for me. She was surpissed by my truthfulnes but quickly recovered and finished helpin me. I AM sure I was probably talked about. But I am to old to make up stories. Besides next I am going to the mall to buy a new bra Like to shopfor bras in person.

[Sarah Michelle]

Wow, what a room full of strong women. I admit to being exceptionally nervous years ago when I was buying pantyhose and shoes. My very first skirt purchase scared me to death but that's me.
I have thought up all the same stories. Thankfully I never had to use them. Returns and exchanges still rattle me a bit though.

[Magickman]

" I would like a very short, spandex, denim mini-skirt to fit me, please. Size nine, I think."

Then I proceed to try it on. That is all it takes.

[Michelle S]

It is great that many don't need the idea I suggested. Some people here were able to just plunge right in. But there are shy or introverted people for whom this (buying women's clothes) is difficult at first. My idea was just to give them a baby step to ease into it.

People who have high anxiety in social situations are not necessarily weak. We are just wired differently from the extroverts. I, for example, have never had a problem with test anxiety. When I have a student who does have test anxiety or math phobia, I work with them to find concrete steps they can take to lower their anxiety.

Also, some of you may have missed the subtext of my post: it is a good idea to buy nice things for the GG's in your life.

[daviolin]

I used to get sick to my stomach going shopping for new outfits and and the like. I would be a nervous wreck. Practice Practice Practice. That's my motto. Now it's just a lot of fun shopping almost as much as dressing.