Hi Girls,
Sorry that I haven't been on here much lately but my life has been in somewhat of a tailspin for a variety of reasons.
Let me begin by putting some of your possible fears at ease. I'm going to be ok. Don't worry. Things are looking much better now.
Ok, let's begin...
I had a bad night one night and told my wife "I wish I was dead". She obviously got very upset.
Now I don't want to kill myself. I couldn't do that for a variety of reasons. But I do think that some of us start to get on a destructive path where we doing things with the subconscious objective of slowly killing ourselves.
When I blurted out those words it really made me think. Have any of you considered suicide or at least contemplated whether or not the world would be better or without you?
I know this is a very dark topic but something that I think a lot of us face.
I know I have. I would not say that it has even or ever gotten close to the "serious" level but I would say that I have thought about death almost every day lately.
I think it is combination of some financial hurdles I'm having to face right now (daughter in college, getting married, etc) as well as coming to grips with the fact that I'm not 20 years old any more (44 at last count) and obviously the challeges that being transgendered present.
So what do you think? Am I sick for thinking about these things or is it just a natural part of life?
I'm looking forward to hearing from you...
Kisses,
Allie