Serious Topic...Have you thought about dying?

[Aubrey Green]

I'm 52, but never thought I would make it to 25, at the rate I was going, I am surprised I did. The love of a good woman (well for 6 years anyway) saved my life.
I lost my dad 7 months ago and not a day goes by, when I think of him and I have 50 years of memories. We were alot alike, loved sports espeically our beloved Bay Area teams, (Giants, 49ers & Sharks) I think of all his possessions, some very expensive, and how little they now mean since he is gone, only the momories of how much he liked them.
I am a grandfather of a 1 year old grandson (named Ace) and time seems so fleeting to me now. How old will my grandson be when I pass away? If it is soon, will he ever remember me. I try to make every minute with him the best and am holding out hope that I will be around for a while longer. I am healthy and am proud that I have not taken a sick day in my 30 years on my job, but nobody can guarantee tomorrow.
I am the exact opposite of the person I was when I was 19. I quit drinking when I was 31, drive within a few mph of the speed limit and if I had a personalized license plate, it would read "WHYHURY"
I love being a "grandpa", it is much better than being a parent and although my son is a dad, I know he is not ready to face the world on his own. So I continue to try to drive some wisdom and common sense into him.
So after all this, No I do not think about dying, I've still got too much to do, before I can schuffle off this planet.

[AmandaM]

I've been depressed my whole life. I once thought about suicide, but never tried it. I do wish at times I was never born. But more often I wish I was a woman, or at least a man, 100% of the time. I think my depression stems from the fact, that with my life situation, I can't be a woman. And now that I'm in my forties, I don't think I'll get the chance to try. So, depression for the rest of my life too. I just wish I could find a way to be happier while in my situation. Happiness is fleeting.

[bridget jones]

I have thought about it several times but I'll never do it.I just want to know why I want to dress like a woman,I really don't understand.

[Ellie Lierae]

I have thought about it a couple of times, 3 years ago when I lost my name-sake to suicide. I didnt think i could bear living without her, and most of my freinds after a couple of months just ended up sayin get over it or go kill myself. I nearly didnt, about the only thing that stopped me was that i didnt cut deep enough, thank god.

It took me awhile but I slowly clawed my up out of the hole I was in, and havent looked back for 12 months. My freinds from then although they stayed freinds through-out and for awhile after have slowly drifted apart cause I have changed and also because I don't conform to thier idea's of a guy even tho they say they dont have a problem.

In short what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and you dont get out of life alive so live it to the fullest

[Lainie]

Don't self-medicate with clothing purchases!

If you find yourself losing control, deal with the root cause; e.g.

stress:
deep cleansing breaths. "breathe in peace; breathe out love."

Depression:
Tell yourself positive stories, avoid negative thoughts. Exercise is good, also. Read Haight's "The Happiness Hypothesis".

[Kroma]

but, I've always been curious what death is like. I'm in no way seeking it, and not going to intentionally impose it, but I have good reason:

Early on (1-2 years old), I had two severe cases of pneumonia with blood infections resulting in temperatures of 103-105. At 3 I nearly choked to death in my highchair. When I was 6, I was nearly hit by a car speeding through my neighborhood. I nearly chocked to death again when I was 10 (sans highchair). At 13, I was nearly decapitated when I crashed a go-cart in to one of those split-level wooden fences. At 16, I ran a stop sign and was t-boned by another car, which accelerated me towards dense vegetation (tall thick trees). The only thing that saved me there was a random piece of re-bar sticking out of the ground which tore through a good portion of my undercarriage before stopping my car. More recently, about 2 years ago, I spun out in the middle of the highway doing 70. I crossed over four lanes and came to a stop in the fast lane facing oncoming traffic with my engine stalled. I had just enough time to start my car and pull to the side of the road (my right, their left) before the first car passed me.

Luckily, I've been fairly safe since. Maybe I just learned to pay attention, but I think someone wants me to live; who am I to argue?

In any case, I'm under the opinion that death here is merely the beginning of another experience.

God I hope not. I don't want to press my luck; there's no way I'll make it anywhere near this far if there's a next time

[sometimes_miss]

First off, I have to address the 'selfish' concern about people contemplating suicide. I've never understood that, our lives are our own, we don't live to serve the rest of the world. If someone's life is so full of pain and suffering, well then, the rest of the world isn't doing anything for that person now are they? So exactly what right do they have to expect the long suffering person to continue to live just to serve their own desires? The selfish ones are those who expect others to fulfill their needs and desires, while not having any concern for the life of those who they portray as 'selfish'.

I've never wished I were dead; but I have lost the fear, and any concern, of dying (as long as it's not too painful, anyway). I don't remember exactly at what age it hit me; but I came to accept that I've done the best that I can with what I have in life, and no longer feel any shame or guilt for not being the superachiever that everyone expected me to be when I was growing up. I've also come to accept that I will never be the beautiful woman that I thought I was going to be, and have stopped the ridiculous purchasing of female clothing (especially shoes) that I will never fit into, and/or could never wear. I have not had a GF in over ten years, and at this point, have come to accept that I probably never will. I will have to be satisfied with girls for hire, about once or twice a month or so, for the affection that I need. Death? Everybody dies eventually. There's not need to rush towards it, though.

[jenniferishappy]

To all of you who are replying that you think about this somewhat routinely you should seek help. This is not something that a healthy mind contemplates. Advising people on suicidal thoughts is very sketchy and best left to a professional. Any given person with the best of intentions has no idea what is going on in the head of a person contemplating that and where it is coming from. It is not something to accept and just wait for it to pass.. again. Seek help. If you dont like the first, second or third mental health pro, got see a fourth. Self help books and forums are not up to the job when it comes to this most serious of topics. Really, do yourself a favor and be a big girl on this one. Turn it over to the pros.

[SuzanneBender]

Wow. Kind of a dark post girl, but I have really enjoyed reading the replies.

The pragmatist in me knows that if I ever took my life those close to me would morn.......for a little while and then life moves on. I can also tell you if I am going to do something like stop living it better darn well have more than a temporary friggin impact.

I think about it but don't think I could do it. I think about the negative impact my brother doing this had on my nephew and niece and then think about my kids.

Death is coming. It will be here soon enough and I have a lot more shopping to do. So I don’t plan on helping the Grim Reaper out.

[Jenny Gurl]

I have always told those considering it that suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. You can't solve it after you are dead. I know people who have considered it, but realized how devastating it would be to the ones they cared about and they reconsidered. I also don't think it is the easy way out, or a selfish or cowardice act. It is the last act of a desperate person. So sad so many who complete this act did not get the help they needed. If anyone is thinking about it please call the suicide hot line and talk to someone. Someone does care, and may help you find an answer to your problem.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

[gemsay32]

Only a brief thought like that has passed through my head once or twice in my life. Having had a close friend commit suicide some years ago, I found out how incredibly selfish such an act is. I always used to think, "Oh that poor person, driven to do such a thing!" But then I met my wife and foundout from her that she gets quite angry when she hears of someone doing it. I *had* to find out why - that seemed almost counterintuitive.

To attempt suicide means the person is so engrossed in their own problems that they have no consideration for those around them. Whatever messes in their lives is left for their family and friends to have to clean up, whether they succeed or not. Being deeply engrossed in oneself makes a lot of things fall by the wayside, like rent, bills, taxes, insurance, not to mention the trauma it leaves family and friends in. It makes them suddenly the *most* important thing on the planet - everyone has to drop what they're doing and care for one another's griefs, and then on top of that, do all kinds of planning, book plane fares with no advance warning, take time off from their work, personal lives, and so on. I'm hardly even touching on the ripple effects of it. I think that alone would deter me from ever considering it even briefly.

I know this post must sound cold, but it's the stark reality of suicide. My wife told me about all this years ago, as she worked as a suicide prevention counselor. She worked in that capacity at a major TV network headquarters. Every freaking week someone calls and says, "If you don't put me on the air so I can say my message [any message you can imagine and then some], I'm going to kill myself!!!!" It requires all the networks to have a trained crisis counselor on staff 24/7, with extra staffing on the normal peaks for suicide attempts. I won't tell you all their tricks, but they almost never lose a suicidal person, and yet the messages from them never get broadcast either, or the airwaves would get slammed full of them.

Suicides peak during holidays, when people get really lonely, and self-centered. "Oh Whoa is ME! The World just doesn't understand ME!" Honestly these people don't understand the world around them. The vast majority of suicides occur here in the USA on Christmas Day. Instead of getting all selfish, the best way to combat that is to find some way of volunteering that day in the community. Find some where to go and help, like a church, synagogue, temple, mosque, homeless shelter, battered women's shelter, *anywhere* that you can go and help. Get your focus off of yourself and onto helping others, and it will make a huge difference. You'll feel appreciated, and feel some sense of fulfillment that will help clear away the clouds. (Getting professional help is always the number one option, but is not always affordable, or accessible.)

Sorry for the long post, but we're heading towards the longer nights and holiday periods when suicides most occur.

Thank you so much for asking the question. I really needed to hear all that myself as well.

Hugs and best wishes over the holidays (really I mean it),
Ann

That's the thing. People going through it can't help themselves very much. It might seem obvious to you that all they need to do is get out and connect with people, but it's not so simple! Sometimes people go through things in life and they can't get out of it very easily without help from others. It might sound like they're being cry babies, but please understand that at some point in life we all cry or tantrum for silly selfish reasons, but that doesn't mean we were wrong for crying or having a tantrum. Life is a classroom, and people are learning all sorts of things not just at different rates, but in different combinations! In many ways, we're still children, just in different kinds of ways. You need to give people the opportunity to learn and to recover. Do you blame a child when they cry or tantrum or do you hope that they learn and grow out of it? You try to help them. Similarly, these people are experiencing things very confusing to them, and they feel very desperate and lost. Like a child, they need our patience. This doesn't just apply to this group of people alone, it applies to everyone on this planet! We're all children in our own ways and there're "parents" watching over us. No man is an island!