Fem DL... Not such a good idea

[Rhonda Jean]

A year ago I renewed my drivers license. I was going through a very fem phase at the time. I was spending a lot of time out and about enfemme, and was always concerned about being stopped by the police and presenting a male-looking DL while dressed fem. At the time I was excited about the prospect of having at least an androgenous photo on my DL. I had lost a lot of weight and was pathetically skinny for a guy, but that certainly added to my androgenous look. My hair was longer than it'd been in a long time and was so heavily highlighted it was almost completely blonde. I had my brows waxed the day before and a loose roller set on 2" velcro rollers that morning. I wore subdued makeup and large hoop earrings. No forms, no heels, and no nailpolish, a black deep v-neck top, girl's jeans, and a pendant necklace. Definately the fem side of androgenous.

I was a little anxious wondering if I'd have any problems, but I didn't see how they could stop me. It was all me. Not a disguise. It turned out to be uneventful. The only comment was, "Um...those earrings!". Unexpectedly, the girl doing the pictures took four shots before she got one that we agreed was good. Always before it was just one and done.

The picture turned out very fem. My hair was much more blonde than I realized. The makeup that I thought was subdued was obvious, as were my earrings. I was very excited to have such a feminine photo on my DL, but that excitement was short lived.

Of course, every time I was asked for ID I was presenting male. The first couple of times it was pretty cool to show that girly ID. Then I was asked for a copy of my DL at work. I told them I lost it, and went to get a replacement. They wouldn't do it! They said it was policy to not issue a new DL just because of a "bad picture". I was paniced! I ended up not having to show my DL at work, but other times when I was unwilling to show such a fem ID continued. It remained very uncomfortable for me to be carrying a girly ID as my only means of official identification, and I was apparently stuck with it for 4 years.

Yesterday I decided I'd try a different tactic. I went to the DL bureau and told them I wanted to renew. Couldn't do that either, because it had only been a year. Along with questions like, "What were you trying to do here" and "What were you thinking", this particular lady evidently took pity on me, and really tried to help. She called in to whoever had authority to approve a change and got permission to issue a new DL.

So, after dealing with an official feminine ID for an entire year, I now have a much more usable and comfortable male one. The experience of presenting a feminine ID in male mode was fun at times, but the embarassing times far outweighed them. Some interesting reactions and interactions, for sure. But, in the end, this had been a really bad idea. I'm so glad to be beyond it.

[[alice]]

I was actually thinking of doing this, but now with some insight, I think I'll stick with my blegh male one.

Thanks for the extremely valuable information!!

[Kate Simmons]

Interesting Hon. You are the first person I know of that brought out the potential problems of having a female ID. Not all the peaches and cream it may appear. Thanks for that experience.

[Wen4cd]

"Oops, my DL accidentally got, umm... lost... in the shredder."

[JennyS.]

I think it was Kimberly that got an ID while dressed. If I remember correctly, it wasn't a DL, just an ID.

Kimberly... can you refresh my memory? This experience that Rhonda went through coulda been avoided.

Anyway, glad you got through it, Rhonda.

[Rhonda Jean]

I think I remember that thread from Kimberly.

Changing your picture or getting a new DL didn't used to be such a big deal. It probably has to do with "homeland security". I didn't ask (this would have been my next step) but I think that even if you lose your license, they just make a new one from your picture on file. I just happened to get a very helpful person, and it wasn't very busy that day.

When she called to get permission/access to make the new license, she was asking that person if she could look at the older photos so she could see that the fem one was not like previous photos. From that I take it that there's still a fem photo of me somewhere in my DL records.

I also wonder who all has seen that photo. I have friends who are cops, and an unrelated thing involving the police surely caused the local small-town cops to call up my ID on their computer in their car. No telling where that word spread to.

Anyway, it was a lesson. I'm so relieved that I was able to get it changed.

[kimmy p]

I think it was Kimberly that got an ID while dressed. If I remember correctly, it wasn't a DL, just an ID.

Kimberly... can you refresh my memory? This experience that Rhonda went through coulda been avoided.

Anyway, glad you got through it, Rhonda.

\

I live in Indiana and I found out that here it is illegal to have a drivers license and a state ID at the same time.

[geri-tg.]

Thanks for sharing. I have often thought about changing my picture. Now I think I will leave my male picture in place.

[Sally2005]

...what were you thinking? ;-) Pink fog gets pretty heavy at times and come to think of it, I never considered the possibility of needing in for your male life...although its obvious. I wonder if you could do half of your face in makeup and the other half natural? Would people see the male half or female half? Could be an interesting experiment.

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"] I am due to have my drivers license renewed next month, after all the changes in me in the last 4 years, I will be glad to have a pic that looks like me. This pic is of me without the makeup, that is my own hair as for earrings I always have at least a pair of small hoops in. Little difference than my avatair. My new license will still say M, but at least the pic will look like me no matter how I'm dressed. Will post my new DMV pic after I get it taken. [/SIZE]

MrMacho%20%28Medium%29.jpg,Ted new1b.jpg

[Andy66]

That's really interesting, and something most people probably don't think about.

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I don't know about other states but here in PA if you lose your license during the 4 years its valid, PennDot will just issue you a duplicate with the picture you had taken when you last renewed. On it on the top in small letters,it will say "Dup 01" which means its the the first one. If you lose it again, the next one will be "Dup 02" and so on till you renew next time plus its illegal to have a DL and state ID. When you get IDed for whatever reason and they see its a dup, then you have to show a back up which can be a real pain. Even though I drive femme at times, I would keep my male pic on my DL and if I ever get stopped and the Officer asks, I'll be respectful and just tell him or her I'm in the process of transitioning and leave it at that.



Felicity

[Rachel_Red]

I would think that would be a good idea if you were going to CD 24/7 but if not then yah keeping a male ID is probably the best way to go as you stated.

[Faith_G]

I don't know about other states but here in PA if you lose your license during the 4 years its valid, PennDot will just issue you a duplicate with the picture you had taken when you last renewed. On it on the top in small letters,it will say "Dup 01" which means its the the first one. If you lose it again, the next one will be "Dup 02" and so on till you renew next time plus its illegal to have a DL and state ID. When you get IDed for whatever reason and they see its a dup, then you have to show a back up which can be a real pain. Even though I drive femme at times, I would keep my male pic on my DL and if I ever get stopped and the Officer asks, I'll be respectful and just tell him or her I'm in the process of transitioning and leave it at that.



Felicity

Yep, went through that myself. I used to have a huge beard, and after I shaved it off I always got the hairy eyeball when I had to show ID. I tried to get a new picture when I moved to a new address, but they wouldn't retake it for an address change. I was stuck with that pic until I had to renew my license.

[Karen564]

Thanks to your own experiences,

This will hopefully clear away the heavy pink fog that many get into to show the harsh realities of what they thought was a great idea today may & often does create an very uncomfortable situation for them afterwards that also isn't so easily reversed..

So to the ones that do NOT desire or plan on living female 24/7, be very careful for what you wish for, you might just get it..

[sherri52]

The rule of the DL change would be if your not all out stay male. Femme Id calls for 24/7 enfemme

[Rogina B]

Some of us have a state ID for our girl mode.Our license pic is in boy mode. When stopped dressed,you just hand over both and no questions asked. When you are flying pretty,you breeze through security with you pretty ID. When flying internationally,your girl ID becomes your second form of picture ID...no take the wig off embarrassment. However,in the state of Florida,the last pic taken by the DMV is what the officer sees on his computer screen in his car! So,that is why you hand him your ID card when questioned.

[spiroxlii]

You could always have two forms of acceptable photo ID. One "Bubba" and one "en femme."

Here in GA, you're only allowed to have one DL, of course... but GA also issues a state ID which looks very similar to a DL. It works just as well as a government-issued photo ID, but it doesn't carry driving priveleges. In GA, you're allowed to get both cards (though few people do, because if you have a DL, why do you need a state ID?).

[Maddie]

My license is in male

got stopped once and it was the greatest thing to see the look on the cops face when he saw it. lots of questions but he was polite except for the ticket.

btw i was in the right so i fought the ticket
wanted to see his face when i showed up in drab

he never did make it to court and it got thrown out

ruined all my fun

Maddie

[barbie lanai]

I got a Fem picture on my DL back in 98. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but likewise changed back to a male pic in around 6 months.

[Annie D]

I have a driver's license with my male picture and a state id with my female picture; it has my correct male name and address as it is illegal to falsefy pertanent information. Why don't you go back to the license bureau and get a state id in male mode? Then when asked for identification, you can produce a fairly accurate picture of yourself. State id's are accepted for everything a driver's license is used for. All states should issue them as teenagers below 16 who want to get a job secure them routinely.

Good luck!

[Rachel Morley]

This is an interesting thread. I agree with Anne66 this is something most don't give much thought to - what happens if you have second thoughts or need to show your ID at places like work? I have a male pic on my DL but it's from a time when I was less girly than I am now when in boy mode. I don't think I'll be quite as feminine as you seem to indicate you were, but I do think that when it's time to renew I might femme up a little bit more than my current one with say some eye make up, earrings, and a girls t-shirt.

[tricia_uktv]

Isn't it all in the mind and doesn't it depend how far you are out?

[Anna the Dub]

I am changing mine shortly. My original pic is absolutely awful, I look like a convict. This time, with my longer hair, my softer face from the hormones and so on, I expect it to look a lot more like me. However, I still will not be wearing any make up in it, or dangly earrings, just studs. So it will be androgynous, and will more or less reflect how I dress most of the time.

[TJ Tresa]

I think that some states will allow you to have a a dublicate DL. I don't know if they would let you have both a male picture on one and a feminine picture on the other. Might be worth looking into.