I'm not caught between anything. This is not my entire life, it's a part of my life that I'm trying to figure out. I want to be known as a woman. That's all. I'm hiding that side of me away, absolutely, but, once again, "Fran" is not a whimsical woman who lives in my mind and gets out when I let her. Fran is a bloody pen name that I'm waving around because I'm afraid of showing the world who I want to be. I know that's cowardly, but I don't think I'm "undecided" on anything except whether or not hiding forever will destroy me.
But I don't live to be perceived as a woman, either. I live so people will listen to my music and read my books; feel all the beautiful, tragic, terrifying, and wholly enchanting feelings that I've felt through the work of others and the experiences in my life.
Conversely, I believe we will eventually shed our preconceived notions of sexuality. I don't think we're ahead of the curb on that one, either, if you'll consider how important the concept and perception of a "Woman" is to most of us.
I hope I don't sound too bitter. I'm really not. I'm just feeling rather psychologically mechanical right now. Maybe I need some sleep.
