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Thread: Still keeping little secrets?

  1. #26
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    I'm no longer married and partially because all my cards were on the table. My wife did not understand my dressing and would not even try.

  2. #27
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    With my wife I'm an open book, but she does not read much. I don't bore her with my every little thought, but if she wants to know anything, and I do mean anything, all she has to do is ask. It just isn't an issue in our house. both her and both genders of my clothes share the same closet, laundry basket and ironing pile. our necklaces hang side by side so that we both have use of it all, and she doesn't seem to care which side of my wardrobe I choose to dress in on any given day.
    Tina

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member joann426's Avatar
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    well for me it started 10 years ago when me and the so were washing clothes and putting some in the dryer when she found a black bra and it wasnt hers she ask me whos it was and i had to tell her it was mine shejust looked at me and kept folding clothes that was in a mean way of course after a while she just got alittle easy with her and we just eat breakfast in fem together
    what a sweety

  4. #29
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Has a"looksee" from time to time

    My wife has some passwords and sometimes reads the postings here as well as a mailbox or two when needed. No big deal..she gets her mail from friends,and I get mine.

  5. #30
    Just can't help myself! Brenda456's Avatar
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    My SO know about myCDing but doesn't like it, so there is not a lot said about it. She doesn't ask many, if any, questions, and I don't volunteer information. It is more like a doon't ask, don't tell policy. . . Which is sad and unfortunate. . .

  6. #31
    Senior Member
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    My wife has known about my crossdressing for more than 35 years, but she has never truly accepted it. She never wanted to see me dressed as Janine and she has no interest in helping me shop for femme clothes.
    I've had occassion to dress when she's been out of town and have shopped for my needs at that time. I have been careful to only use discretionary money that I had saved for myself. I've never discussed these purchases with her. If she ever found out, I would certainly tell her.

  7. #32
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    It's a shame we have to be embarrassed or whatever of our sexuality. It really can be worth the effort when you screw up enough courage to be totally honest wirh a partner.

    ***
    Quote Originally Posted by Wen4cd View Post
    Another thing we've started doing is corresponding by email. 'I' talk to my SO face-to-face, and do not put 'her' up in her face, but 'she' and my wife write letters and notes back and forth.

    Well, it goes a bit funnier than that. My 'friend of the soul' writes to directly and addresses hers, whereas she and I, as personas and as a couple, talk through more common filtering. Between the two, there are really no little secrets.

    It's a nifty exercise, like having two separate marriages with the same person, one more mundane, and the other romantic and fantasy-driven.
    Omigosh! That's such a great idea!

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member Bethany38's Avatar
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    Charlene said it no better than I could have. My wife knows all and has only to ask to know any more.
    One day your life is going to pass before your eye's, Make sure it is worth watching.

    Eddie Izzard said it best "I am an action tranvestite".





    http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethanyannstratford/

  9. #34
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie Miller View Post
    .......Just how many of us would really be comfortable handing our keyboards over to our S.O.'s to read everything we have posted.......
    Stephanie, not only in the case of my wife seeing, but this is the internet..... everyone in our lives could possibly see what we post. Therefore, I always write with that in mind and try not to post anything that would cause undo embarrasment to anyone I know, especially on the more open forums.
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  10. #35
    Member MissyW's Avatar
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    While I do have a few secrets kept from the wife, this forum isn't one of them. She is not a member but has watched me participate here a few times.

  11. #36
    Senior Member Sally2005's Avatar
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    I'm not out officially, but my wife knows about my halloween adventures and I suspect she knows I do some practicing before...how else could I do such a good job one day a year?!...So secrets remain. But, I just want to say, I think secrets are just natural... I mean my wife doesn't tell me all the details about her monthly leg waxing... and I don't want to know...I don't like the sticky legs after or the hairy legs before, so I'm don't like it when she tells me about that part, ugghhh. So, I'm sure if she knew, there would be a limit to how much she wants to hear and what I feel comfortable telling. There is an element of trust though...I would never do anything outside our marriage vows so the secrets are not hiding anything bad. The other thing is, if you post something publically, there is chance someone could connect the dots, so it is best to assume she will read it someday and I may not be ready for tommorrow, but I guess it could enlighten her...for good or bad, depends on her, I would guess.

  12. #37
    Junior Member Jennifer_Cross's Avatar
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    No secrets in any regard to life... Totally open.

    Jen
    Loving life to the full.... At long last

  13. #38
    Addicted To Lipstick donnatracey's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=PhillyGuy2Girl;1912301]My wife and don't keep secrets from each other at all. We believe its better to just be honest.

    Here's an example I'll share. A few years ago we were both supposed to go out with a GG friend of ours,but my wife had to cancel last minute to meet her Mother on business and she told us to still go without her because she didn't want to dissapoint our GG friend. Well her and I went out to a movie,dinner and drinks and back her place and had more drinks. We were both feeling our drinks and I said I can't drive because of it and she offered for me to sleep over.I called my wife and told and she was ok because she does not want me to drink and drive. Afterwards she made up the couch for and we talked for awhile and said she said she was having some problems with her father, her grandmother had cancer and was feeling bad and so on. We then hugged and then let just say we had a "minor indiscretion" that night.Woke up the next morning we talk and apologized to each other and then I told my wife and she was ok because I was honest and upfront with it plus it was better than me drinking and driving,getting a DWI or worse an accident and hurting someone or myself. As we say Honesty is best policy.

    Wow - you do have an understanding/forgiving wife! 99.8% (unscientific guesstiomate) would not be like that. Sorry, but I don' think I would have been so upfront.....btw, no cabs were available to get you home?

  14. #39
    Aspiring Member Fran Moore's Avatar
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    30 years and counting......

    And yes, we have our little secrets, and no she is not accepting, but life is much more than complete transparency, or complete acceptance. Our decision to share our lives together had more to do with all the things we had in common than the few things that we did not. Do I envy those who have "all that". Yes, but at the same time, I love my wife for who she is and not for who she isn't and life is passing by so fast that I don't plan on making any major changes anytime soon, if ever.

    I'll step down off the soap box now....

    Suzanne
    Transtronaut


    You must first find yourself before you can discover your future-

  15. #40
    Samantha K Samantha Kelsey's Avatar
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    Hi,
    This is the only CD forum that I use. My SO is also a member and can see everything that I'm into. My computer is beside hers and always open for her to use. Thoughts in my head? Sorry but they're for me.

    .
    Samantha K
    It's so hard being me
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    [SIZE="1"]Now I shout it from the highest hill,
    Even told the golden daffodil.
    At last my hearts an open door,
    And my secret love's no secret anymore.
    [/SIZE]


    See Sams pics at;
    http://cid-b4480c99b9b4cdd9.skydrive...e.aspx?lc=1033

  16. #41
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    A Note of Caution

    This is a public forum, ladies, and I try to remember that fact when I post here. I am, however, less circumspect in the members-only and invitation-only forums, and it alarms me a bit to hear that some non-members have access to members' passwords.

    I suppose it's not that awful when a supportive SO eavesdrops a bit (although I would prefer they join and get their own passwords), but I do hope that not too many curious civilians are privy to the more personal expressions which trusting, and vulnerable, members put out in those forums for others who, they assume, share la cosa nostra.

    Lallie
    Time for a change.

  17. #42
    Marla Marla16's Avatar
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    secrets

    My wife knows and participates in my dressing, She met me whileI was living as a women so she also knows I have other needs as well. I have had a steady boyfriend for years.She doesn't get involved in this part so I quess I do keep some secrets. As for dressing I work from home and I,m dressed 75% of the time I,m smaller than her so we dont really share clothes

  18. #43
    Gold Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    Sure, I still keep secrets from her. I'm not telling her what I getting her for Christmas or where we are going for our anniversary this year. Other than that, I'm a pretty open book. Things pertaining to my life she knows all about as I do hers. It works for us.
    I agree with Holly and this is how my SO and I handle our relationship and it works well for us. She has an account here and even though she doesn't log on regularly, she can read everything I post. I don't elevate any aspect of my crossdressing without discussing it with her first. This way I stay within her comfort zone and our relationship stays solid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sally2005 View Post
    But, I just want to say, I think secrets are just natural... I mean my wife doesn't tell me all the details about her monthly leg waxing... and I don't want to know...
    I don't know that I would call that a secret. It is near impossible for a couple to review all things that happened to them in the course of a day. Secrets (to me) are things that are deliberately withheld because you don't want someone else knowing about them. I didn't tell my wife about plucking ingrown hairs yesterday. It is not a secret, just inconsequential.

  19. #44
    New Member samanthatiedup's Avatar
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    I keep my cross-dressing and self bondage a secret from the wife. She would not accept either on of them. I envy the ladies on the page, who have understand and supporting wife's and girlfriends.

  20. #45
    New Member
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    wife understands and helps me

  21. #46
    Aspiring Member Jenniferpl's Avatar
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    No real secrets here. Wife is welcome to read anything I have posted here. There is little that I have kept from her and if she wants to know something I would tell here the truth.

  22. #47
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    No secrets here

    Debs and IO have been open and honest with each other about all the major things that have affected us in our lives ............. anything that could affect our relationship in any way large or small we already know about .............. does not mean we know everything about each other, nor will we ever, but yes
    Originally Posted by Holly ........Sure, I still keep secrets from her. I'm not telling her what I getting her for Christmas or where we are going for our anniversary this year. Other than that, I'm a pretty open book. Things pertaining to my life she knows all about as I do hers. It works for us.
    ............ I did not tell Debs what I had planned for immediately after we got married and before we left the registry office (she got her first birthday card and present as my husband ) ..... good things to please each other, anything that will not harm your relationship if accidentally discovered, are in my book acceptable forms of non communication, until the moment arrives my

    Sheila
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  23. #48
    Aspiring Member Tora's Avatar
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    Forty Years ago. I thought that marrage would cure this CD thing. The bride is open to nightgowns and panties at home and for every night. The rest is not to be discussed. So, when the feelings for this returned, I keep things, off site and only get a few times ayear, if that, to fully dress and go out. She is a wonderful wife, mother of our grown children, grandmother and part of a great extended family, her side. Secrets, oh ya, big time. When I try to push, it gets ugly. I don't want to burn the bridge.

  24. #49
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philipa Jane View Post
    Last weekend I was discussing a thread on whether a CD/TG could have a friend who is also a CD/TG.
    The reply was a definite NO as this might well encourage a more significant path on the TG trail.
    [...] What do you think?
    As the originator of that particular thread, what I think was "I wish people would have been more open and posted about issues like that when I brought the topic up."



    With respect to keeping secrets: Yes, I have a few, the outlines of the great majority of which she has an idea of, but which she has indicated that she is not ready to listen to / process / make decisions about. (But she has lots of time to think and talk about matters remote from our lives and our relationship...)
    Last edited by sandra-leigh; 10-25-2009 at 10:39 PM. Reason: fix pronouns

  25. #50
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    I try to be very open with my wife. I probably share too much for some people's tastes (asking for problems) but I feel that is better than keeping things in the dark. I send her links to any new photos I post (she was the 2nd person to see my boudoir photos) and ask for feedback so I know I'm not going too far in some direction.

    She goes out with me from time to time but I go out often with my gurl friends without her. She trusts me and I let her know how things went and what happened. I've always felt that I'd rather face some problems from revealing too much than have things blow up after they're found out after the fact.

    We don't always see eye to eye but we always talk and that eventually gets us to the place we need to be.
    Sally

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