A Blessing or a Curse?

[Megan70]

[QUOTE=Michellette;1915097....i wouldn't judge or disagree with you friend but i am interested in reading those three pages so i can better understand how you mean".[/QUOTE]

Thank you for your truly sincere comment. I will find the URL page or older PM I sent to several like minded CD's on this issue, who won't speak up. Thanks 'girls" ( I hate the euphemism!!!) for not being judge mental with nasty remarks. my feelings are my own.

Christinek,I like that! the next time someone wants to know why I crossdress I can tell them it is a bi polar condition and there is no drug that can help it.Thank goodness there isn't. Seriously though...... "

I say Careful with those words you better know who and what kinds of people are on this page. You see I AM BI_POLAR and That am not ashamed of because through the use of medication and family support I am able to function a normal life. I am also A.D.D, anxiety ridden, explosive disorder and reactive depressive. . now throw in the god_damn CURSE of crossdressing and I am one f-ucked up puppy( not girl). Sorry about the anger here with myself but this should have been on the mental health page... I apologize . A blessing to me is a sacred word with religious connotations an I can absolutely NOT connected with my life of CDing. I wish it never happened.

A deranged, guilty
Megan

[windycissy]

I've been touched by the responses to this, although each of our paths is different, isn't it amazing how much we all have in common. My path to contentment has been no bed of roses, but the pain along the way has been rewarded by making me more comfortable in my skin - especially when I have makeup on it...

[Megan70]

I've been touched by the responses to this, although each of our paths is different, isn't it amazing how much we all have in common. My path to contentment has been no bed of roses, but the pain along the way has been rewarded by making me more...

A touching gentle statement from a sensitive gentle-woman. Thank you for seeing ALL our points here. Bless you "sister"

Megan

[melissacd]

There were many times within my life when it felt like a curse. But I have learned that the real curse was my state of denial. I denied just being me to conform to what I thought I was expected to be.

I have learned that the only thing that you can be and still lead a happy life, is yourself. In as much as we feel that we can, with enough will power, push aside these aspects of ourselves, there is always a deep unrest bubbling inside.

As I have accepted and allowed myself to just be, that unrest dissipates. We already know what is right for ourselves if we just take the time to connect with that emotional compass inside. When it feels right and good it probably is (assuming we can put aside all the judgements and moralization's of others). If it feels bad, wrong, truly wrong (after we have properly given it its due) then it probably is.

When I allow myself to be me I feel good inside, it feels right. Part of being me is expressing my feminine side. It has always felt that way, I just did not listen. I tried to bottle it up and set it aside, but that never works. In the end, it exploded onto the stage and created great havoc in my life. Had I just dealt with it long ago when it was a little thing I could have evolved with it gradually and life would have played out as it should have. There would have been much less hurt and pain to all involved.

So the curse was the denial and recognizing that I look at the rest of my life and choices in a very different way now.

Melissa

[Megan70]

There were many times within my life when it felt like a curse. But I have learned that the real curse was my state of denial.

So the curse was the denial and recognizing that I look at the rest of my life and choices in a very different way now.

Melissa

I haven't considered that but I guess i can't agree with you more as sounded by the bitter denial tone of my post. Thank you for your thoughts, well taken.
Megan

[sharynPA]

I gotta say both. LOVE IT....and uh...well...er..I never hate it, but ya know.

[Jaclyn NM]

As I've aged, I've come to accept my crossdressing as an integral part of who I am. I simply love being dressed in soft feminine clothing, and I no longer deny myself.

[Jodi M]

To Megan 70, My comment was in no way ment to belittle or ridicule anyone who is bi polar. I myself have a child now grown who is bi polar and ADD and I am well aware of the effects on his life and mine. My heart goes out to you also! Jodi M

[sherri52]

I think both. A blessing because it's one step closer to women where I can relate. A curse because I can never get enough clothes and when I"m satisfied for that day, I don't have enough closet space for them.

[sometimes_miss]

While self acceptance is important, there's no reason to delude myself that it's made my life better. It hasn't. I also have arthritis; I accept that, but don't like it either. Having my thoughts interrupted by desires to dress/act/be female on a almost constant basis really is a waste of mind power, not to mention how much it freaks out the women I wish I could be with. Nope, not a blessing. Not at all.
You can find a silver lining in most clouds; that doesn't mean a hurricane isn't coming to wash your town away.