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Thread: Shame after CDing...any input would be great

  1. #1
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    Shame after CDing...any input would be great

    I have been Cding since childhood...long before I had a name for it. Like so many, it started with mom's panties, those soft beautiful secrets...and have continued to grow and expand to full dressing in my adulthood.

    One thing hasn't changed though. The unbelievable desire to dress, the thrills and highs, followed by a terrible feeling of guilt and shame over dressing (usually immediately after orgasm). I get this feeling of, "you are a sick person. What is wrong with you. Why can't you be a man??" etc.

    Anyone ever concur this?

    I have the goal of sleeping en femme but invariably I touch myself and then peel everything off and feel sick and frightened. I want so badly to embrace this and feel good about it.

  2. #2
    Kirra Scythe crusadergirl's Avatar
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    for me theres no shame in dressing its not doing it when i have the desire too, that messes me up. Sometimes i can't make up my mind what i want to do.
    I know when i first started dressing i felt the way you did.
    i enjoy dressing up i just have little time to do it or i fight the urge to dress.
    Good bye i'm at wacko taco .com now

  3. #3
    Oneesan Kinky with Ink's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crusadergirl View Post
    for me theres no shame in dressing its not doing it when i have the desire too, that messes me up. Sometimes i can't make up my mind what i want to do.
    I know when i first started dressing i felt the way you did.
    i enjoy dressing up i just have little time to do it or i fight the urge to dress.
    I understand where you're coming from there. It seems with long hours at work and maintaining a semblance of a social life I don't have time for myself at all and when I do all I want to do is rest.
    Beware the pink fog..........oh what the hell enjoy it. I know I certainly am!

  4. #4
    Femme at Heart TonyaV's Avatar
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    You're OK

    What you're feeling is perfectly normal. I promise you!

  5. #5
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    My biggest problem is trying to get thin enough. Every time I start a diet I end up moving heavy items regularly and start building up muscles that won't fit into womens sleeves. Still not guilt on dressing.

  6. #6
    Oneesan Kinky with Ink's Avatar
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    I used to hate it when I was younger but no matter how much I worked out I've never been able to get "big" arms. Now that I'm more focused on staying toned it comes in handy. I can keep the skinny arms and still stay in shape. Now to just figure out how to work my tattoo's more into my enfemme look. I think women with tasteful tattoo's are hot.
    Beware the pink fog..........oh what the hell enjoy it. I know I certainly am!

  7. #7
    Member Ashley_in_Texas's Avatar
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    I used to have similar feelings, but then I realized that there are plenty of people out there to judge and ridicule me. There is no need to do it to ourselves. Be happy with who you are. Embrace it. Enjoy it. I view crossdressing as a gift, not a curse. Most men are too afraid to do what we do. You don't feel guilty for breathing, do you? Crossdressing is as just as much a part of us. I hope you find peace with it, and yourself.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I don't feel shame just hate myself when I lied to hide it.

  9. #9
    Junior Member MyBlackTights's Avatar
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    dont hate it or feel bad afterward....theres been many a times i got undressed "after" i was done, but at the same time its just plain fun and comfortable to be dressed before, after, during, or even when your not in "the" mood". have fun with it. just put on a skirt and tights on, not fully dressed and watch some tv, or just screw around the house. I find it great to be in guy mode w/ tights and skirt while im doing my everyday things.....trust me......just enjoy whatever it is you enjoy without feeling guilty ....is it really that big of a deal? didnt think so....so go all out or a little out , but just do what ever the hell you want.....its all about you!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Rebecca Jayne's Avatar
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    Honey it will be Okay

    Ash I use to feel the same way, then suddenly I looked at myself in a mirror, deep into myself, while I was dressed up in
    Fem, and as I looked at myself I felt an Angelic feeling come over me, suddenly I smiled st myself and "Guilt and Shame" left and I no longer have those demons around.
    A Rose by any other name.....[SIZE="2"][/SIZE]

    Love Rebecca Jayne

  11. #11
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    After crossdressing, when I'm washing my face and changing back into guy clothes, sometimes I think, "ah, what a shame."

    "This Pride of Apparel will appear the more foolish, if we consider, that those airy mortals, who have no other way of making themselves considerable but by gorgeous apparel, draw after them crowds of imitators, who hate each other while they endeavour after a similitude of manners. They destroy by example, and envy one another’s destruction."
    -Silence Dogood 1722

  12. #12
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    It's No Big Deal

    It.s no big deal you just ran out of Testosterone just drive
    down to your local jizz station for a quick fill up.
    .
    .................................................. ..................thanks..........ORCHID

  13. #13
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    Like many others it seems, I used to feel exactly like you. That was a handy way to finish up dressing when I only had limited time (normally when I knew my parents were due home). When I lived on my own and had longer, I still felt the same way for a while then gradually the urge to get right out of girl's clothes faded.

    Find yourself something relaxing to do when you're about to finish - a movie you really want to watch for example. Sit down and relax for a few minutes, grab a glass of wine, watch a movie or do whatever and gradually you might feel comfy about still being all dressed up. Resist the urge to panic and get undressed. As I got older and more experienced, I gradually felt more and more natural to the extent that getting back into male mode is now a serious disappointment and a feeling I hate.

    Certainly don't feel shame. I know I used to until I wised up. Whatever you want to wear is your business.

  14. #14
    The Girl Next Door windycissy's Avatar
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    It used to be that way with me too, I'd get all aroused, lose control and then hate myself! You know what it reminded me of? Making it with a girl you didn't really have any feelings for, how you try to get dressed and get out as soon as you can...anyway those days are over, and so is the shame from crossdressing, now it's a sublime feeling that I never want to end. I guess getting older isn't all bad

  15. #15
    Junior Member Alicia Grey's Avatar
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    image

    You Wrote "I have the goal of sleeping en femme but invariably I touch myself and then peel everything off and feel sick and frightened. I want so badly to embrace this and feel good about it.

    I believe this is an experience we all share at one time or another, we relate the dressing with a sexual desire to be with the perfect partner, which is at the time is the image we are projecting.

  16. #16
    Member Ann Thomas's Avatar
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    I can really relate to your ongoing struggles. Went thru a lot of the same when I was younger. The guilt came from my upbringing, hammered home by the particular church I attended for too long. For me, wearing girl clothes helped get rid of the arousal issue, which I feel is coming from an image one has of the perfect woman that accepts all of who I am. I do not get aroused by the clothes any longer, or very rarely. Instead I feel energized. I am careful about the cut and color as well, because that can have an effect on the energy I feel I need to convey that day.

    Press forward thru it, and you'll come out the other side a better person.

    Hugs,
    Ann

  17. #17
    Gold Member Miranda09's Avatar
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    No shame...not any more. I have come to realize that this is who I am and society will not make me feel guilty.

  18. #18
    Member Kate's at home's Avatar
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    I agree with much of what has been said here. The shame goes away with gradual acceptance. It takes time and much looking within.

    Over time, I have found that dressing becomes more a matter of being than doing...a way to express and experience what is inside, a feminine energy.

    Kate

  19. #19
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    I agree with Miranda,we need to step back and make sure were not feeling guilt over what society's impression of cding is,that is where my initial guilt stemmed from.I needed to recognize this as a unique part of my life that is free to experiment and feel the way I want.Try to come to the realization that you have a right to experience what you choose.

  20. #20
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    Yes, I'm familiar with the feelings you describe.
    Crossdressing involves such tremendous and
    phenomenal joy but it's not without its many
    challenges and struggles. You are not alone.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Kristen Marie's Avatar
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    Try dressing for a few hours, going out perhaps, and then changing back to guy mode without your orgasm at the end and see if the guilt goes away. Perhaps the guilt is associated more with the act at the end rather than dressing.
    Kristen

  22. #22
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    Be yourself...God loves you nomatter what

    I was in the same perdicament as you I always thought afterwards is something wrong with me? But honestly the answer is no. Nothing is wrong with any of us here we all just have a very special gift from God that he only chose a very select number of us to hold this special gift and we are all part of it and a very unique, beautiful,fun to be around, honest,loving ect.. ect... people in our own special way. This is just the path of life that God has chosen for us to follow.
    Take care and good luck in whatever you may do in life.
    ~Kimmy-Love20~

  23. #23
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    Kristen,
    I like what you say the end act instead of that actual dressing. But one can lead to the other I thinkit is a growing process and guilt goes away as we get older and accept ourselves. I would liketo think I have gotten over my guilt but it is still there no matter what.
    Dressing is fun But what productive thing could I be doing instead of shopping, clubbing or just hanging out likea guy in a dress. ?????????
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  24. #24
    Rebecca Ras's Avatar
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    I think the guilt is very common among us but it does fade away the more you dress and become comfortable with it. Try to stay dressed longer and your mind and body will be more used to it and it will feel right and nothing different.

  25. #25
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I agree with Alicia.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

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