Shame after CDing...any input would be great

[ashgagal]

I have been Cding since childhood...long before I had a name for it. Like so many, it started with mom's panties, those soft beautiful secrets...and have continued to grow and expand to full dressing in my adulthood.

One thing hasn't changed though. The unbelievable desire to dress, the thrills and highs, followed by a terrible feeling of guilt and shame over dressing (usually immediately after orgasm). I get this feeling of, "you are a sick person. What is wrong with you. Why can't you be a man??" etc.

Anyone ever concur this?

I have the goal of sleeping en femme but invariably I touch myself and then peel everything off and feel sick and frightened. I want so badly to embrace this and feel good about it.

[crusadergirl]

for me theres no shame in dressing its not doing it when i have the desire too, that messes me up. Sometimes i can't make up my mind what i want to do.
I know when i first started dressing i felt the way you did.
i enjoy dressing up i just have little time to do it or i fight the urge to dress.

[Kinky with Ink]

for me theres no shame in dressing its not doing it when i have the desire too, that messes me up. Sometimes i can't make up my mind what i want to do.
I know when i first started dressing i felt the way you did.
i enjoy dressing up i just have little time to do it or i fight the urge to dress.

I understand where you're coming from there. It seems with long hours at work and maintaining a semblance of a social life I don't have time for myself at all and when I do all I want to do is rest.

[TonyaV]

What you're feeling is perfectly normal. I promise you!

[sherri52]

My biggest problem is trying to get thin enough. Every time I start a diet I end up moving heavy items regularly and start building up muscles that won't fit into womens sleeves. Still not guilt on dressing.

[Kinky with Ink]

I used to hate it when I was younger but no matter how much I worked out I've never been able to get "big" arms. Now that I'm more focused on staying toned it comes in handy. I can keep the skinny arms and still stay in shape. Now to just figure out how to work my tattoo's more into my enfemme look. I think women with tasteful tattoo's are hot.

[Ashley_in_Texas]

I used to have similar feelings, but then I realized that there are plenty of people out there to judge and ridicule me. There is no need to do it to ourselves. Be happy with who you are. Embrace it. Enjoy it. I view crossdressing as a gift, not a curse. Most men are too afraid to do what we do. You don't feel guilty for breathing, do you? Crossdressing is as just as much a part of us. I hope you find peace with it, and yourself.

[Barbara Dugan]

I don't feel shame just hate myself when I lied to hide it.

[MyBlackTights]

dont hate it or feel bad afterward....theres been many a times i got undressed "after" i was done, but at the same time its just plain fun and comfortable to be dressed before, after, during, or even when your not in "the" mood". have fun with it. just put on a skirt and tights on, not fully dressed and watch some tv, or just screw around the house. I find it great to be in guy mode w/ tights and skirt while im doing my everyday things.....trust me......just enjoy whatever it is you enjoy without feeling guilty ....is it really that big of a deal? didnt think so....so go all out or a little out , but just do what ever the hell you want.....its all about you!

[BLUE ORCHID]

It.s no big deal you just ran out of Testosterone just drive
down to your local jizz station for a quick fill up.
.
.................................................. ..................thanks..........ORCHID

[Marina]

Like many others it seems, I used to feel exactly like you. That was a handy way to finish up dressing when I only had limited time (normally when I knew my parents were due home). When I lived on my own and had longer, I still felt the same way for a while then gradually the urge to get right out of girl's clothes faded.

Find yourself something relaxing to do when you're about to finish - a movie you really want to watch for example. Sit down and relax for a few minutes, grab a glass of wine, watch a movie or do whatever and gradually you might feel comfy about still being all dressed up. Resist the urge to panic and get undressed. As I got older and more experienced, I gradually felt more and more natural to the extent that getting back into male mode is now a serious disappointment and a feeling I hate.

Certainly don't feel shame. I know I used to until I wised up. Whatever you want to wear is your business.

[Sallee]

I like the gift analogy I kind of think of CDing like that too. but that didn't come with ease and I still feel guilt some times for no good reason.

[vjaducd]

I used to have similar feelings, but then I realized that there are plenty of people out there to judge and ridicule me. There is no need to do it to ourselves. Be happy with who you are. Embrace it. Enjoy it. I view crossdressing as a gift, not a curse. Most men are too afraid to do what we do. You don't feel guilty for breathing, do you? Crossdressing is as just as much a part of us. I hope you find peace with it, and yourself.

Yes, I agree with you, Why should we feel guilty as while it's god's gift to certain class of people.instead you should feel proud as in one birth we use to get both gender feelings. shame thing is why we have to hide from our daily life ? we have got high moral ,peaceful life feeling. nonviolence,nofake,no froud no jelousy We are a special greed whom god has especially , seperately created.We won't hurt anybody,noselfish nature,loyal.noble,humble leaving beings on earth. In India our god lord shiva's pictures are falleded one half with maa Parvati half i.e. Siva & Shakti both gathered & created the earth & living beings, So It's a proud moment when we c.d. or even think of c.d.ing

vjaducd

[PittsburghThongz]

ive been trying to get over some of the shame myself and with me i think it is a relatively sexual arousal related issue because the shame never is there until after climax

[rocketscientist]

I used to have similar feelings, but then I realized that there are plenty of people out there to judge and ridicule me. There is no need to do it to ourselves. Be happy with who you are. Embrace it. Enjoy it. I view crossdressing as a gift, not a curse. Most men are too afraid to do what we do. You don't feel guilty for breathing, do you? Crossdressing is as just as much a part of us. I hope you find peace with it, and yourself.

I think this sums it up better than I can say myself.

[bridget jones]

I know exactly how you feel Ash.I have done the same for years.I don't understand how the urge to dress is so strong until the big O comes.I'd like to get passed this and hope I will.I spend way too much time getting dolled up just to rip it off and the feelings are unbearable at times..........I still question my crossdressing,why me?

[tricia_uktv]

As the girls here say, we've all been through that. I can remember the first few times I dressed in public and how ashamed I was of my male self. Now I kniow that is rubbish. It is about me me, not whether I am male or female. And you know what? Since discovering that, the guilt melted away in all forms. Keep going hon!

[SamanthaS]

Ya think? I never thought about that, but "We" should ride side saddle, LMAO!

[Nicole Erin]

Like a friend once told me about something non-CD related -
If you ain't hurting anyone, just have your fun, call it a day, and go about your life.

[AliceXXX]

Like a friend once told me about something non-CD related -
If you ain't hurting anyone, just have your fun, call it a day, and go about your life.

I like that

[Kellie Day]

Here's the thing: you have nothing remotely to be ashamed of, and don't let anybody shame you (and they probably won't--the fear of that is much greater than its likelihood of happening).

Clothes do not make the man, nor the woman. Our naked bodies are unfashionable, except to our lovers, and so we adorn them in various ways. In this curious dark age women have all the cool options of adornment and men are forced into uniform, which explains our male push-back. (I'm speaking of the West; in other societies it's the other way around.)

Reject shame as having anything to do with how you dress--clothes are how we improve upon our unfashionable bodies, and any-body should be able to improvise and innovate on how they choose to cover themselves.

[Rebecca Jayne]

Ash I use to feel the same way, then suddenly I looked at myself in a mirror, deep into myself, while I was dressed up in
Fem, and as I looked at myself I felt an Angelic feeling come over me, suddenly I smiled st myself and "Guilt and Shame" left and I no longer have those demons around.

[Wen4cd]

After crossdressing, when I'm washing my face and changing back into guy clothes, sometimes I think, "ah, what a shame."

[Alicia Grey]

You Wrote "I have the goal of sleeping en femme but invariably I touch myself and then peel everything off and feel sick and frightened. I want so badly to embrace this and feel good about it.

I believe this is an experience we all share at one time or another, we relate the dressing with a sexual desire to be with the perfect partner, which is at the time is the image we are projecting.

[Ann Thomas]

I can really relate to your ongoing struggles. Went thru a lot of the same when I was younger. The guilt came from my upbringing, hammered home by the particular church I attended for too long. For me, wearing girl clothes helped get rid of the arousal issue, which I feel is coming from an image one has of the perfect woman that accepts all of who I am. I do not get aroused by the clothes any longer, or very rarely. Instead I feel energized. I am careful about the cut and color as well, because that can have an effect on the energy I feel I need to convey that day.

Press forward thru it, and you'll come out the other side a better person.

Hugs,
Ann