Shopping trip - need advice please!!

[kelly1469]

Hey girls!

i need a bit advice on what to do...

I am totally in the closet (inc hiding it from my wife- but we won't go there in this thread!) and only dress when i go away with work, which is at least 1 week every month.

In a few weeks time i got a full week away, but only got meeting Mon, Wed-Fri - so have a free day on the Tues.

I have been out in public as Kelly about 6 times, usually shopping from 1-3 hours at the most, but i wanna push the boundaries out further this time and live a little! lol

I'm very nervous when i'm out, mainly cause i worry what people will think, and i find myself looking at everyone trying to see if they are looking at me - wish prob makes it look obvious then!

My main fears in public are talking to people (have only really sad 'hi' and 'thank u' to sales assistants), i get nervous when people get close (like when in a shop, etc) and also worry about the groups of lads/kids that hang around town centres!

The plan (in my mind) is to leave the hotel dressed, drive to the train station, get the train to London (lots of shops!! yay!), spend the day shopping, see the sites, take some photos, etc - then get the train back.

What i'm scared off is:
1. the train - about an hour journey, scared someone will notice, or sit next to me! (i've got this train before with work, so i know its always busy!)
2. to get around London, i'd have to use the underground, so being really close to people again!
3. Not so worried about walking around the shops, but am nervous about having to talk to any1! mainly the sales assistants, and when (and how) i get lunch!
4. The guilt - obvious the wife doesn't know, so i'd feel guilty for doing such a drastic thing!

Please help, give some advice - i really wanna do this as i don't know when i'll get another opportunity like this

...and i am becoming more and more addicted to trying to be a girl that i wanna do more and more as Kelly! lol

Thank you!

luv

kelly x

[Darylin]

Kelly,

Everyone thinks that they are being looked at when out dressed. If you go to the mall and have a seat somewhere, you'll be surprised at how many people "don't" look at you. Everyone is in their own world with their own troubles. The sales associates could probably care less as long as you buy something. If you get hungry, go and eat, same as the sales associates, the waiters just want to work , get tips and go home (probably to dress themselves). Don't worry so much, people don't care.

Have fun on your trips,
Darylin

[Darylin]

Kelly,

I just saw your pictures, you look terrific. You won't have any problems going out to shop or anything else you may want to do. You go girl...


Darylin

[kelly1469]

aww thanx hun!

i'm fairly happy with my image now, and have my outfit planned (a casual fem look so i'll hopefully blend in!)

i'm just soo nervous and shy about the whole thing!!

i find when i'm out i spend more time worrying than i do actually enjoying being out!

(i'm even tempted to have my ipod on the whole time so i can't hear any potential comments!! )

[Sarah_new]

As Darylin said you look great in your photos and in London folks are just so busy on the streets that if you blend in even a little non-one will notice.

Whatever, enjoy yourself and be sure to lets us know how it goes.

[Darylin]

Sherry's right about London. I was over there last spring and I loved it, but, people are going everywhere so fast and there are so many tourists, you'll just blend in. Have fun. Ask someone to take your picture, they won't mind at all.

xoxo

Darylin

[Sally2005]

You look good, I would not worry much. Just smile at anyone who looks at you and if the ipod helps your confidence, go for it. It might help stop anyone talking to you if they think you can't hear them (or keep it turned off so you can actually hear everything, just nod your head to a beat). I have a fear of talking with people too, but I'm learning to just do it, its pretty hard to fake a really female voice, but you can alter it a little which helps.

[RobertaM]

Question to ask , whats the worst that can happen?

luv with your look , you will be fine!

[Deborah_UK]

Kelly, I got the train from this part of the UK to London (for a gender group meeting) and had to ask a guy to move so I could get in my seat.

No-one blinked an eya as far as I could tell (and even if they notice they are all too polite to say anything!)

I had to get the tube too - I know I was read a couple of times, but people in London are so wrapped up in themselves they don't pay a lot of attention.

And don't forget the unwritten rule on the tube - you're not allowed to look at anyone for too long!

I'm sure you'll be fine

[Tina B.]

Just remember you are not going to see anyone you know, so relax and have fun. Besides you look a lot better than Benny Hill, so no one is going to laugh at you, the may try to chat you up, but they won't laugh.
Have fun!
Tina

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Kelly. Last year I spent three days dressed in London with another t-girl. I went on the tube, on buses, to the theatre, to pubs and restaurants. I also got the train from Manchester and back. I had no trouble whatsoever!!! and had a scream. You look fantastic so enjoy yourself. Don't worry about your voice, just talk softly. Have fun and let us know how it goes.

[carolyn todd]

kelly
what ever you decide i hope you have a wonderful day out,
but don't forget to tell us about your day out.
good luck
carolyn xx

[pinkballetshoes]

I've always found that the best thing to do is remain calm. You draw much more attention to yourself if you act nervous. Enjoy your day!

[Sarah_GG]

I am totally in the closet (inc hiding it from my wife- but we won't go there in this thread!).

What i'm scared off is:
1. the train - about an hour journey, scared someone will notice, or sit next to me! (i've got this train before with work, so i know its always busy!)
2. to get around London, i'd have to use the underground, so being really close to people again!
3. Not so worried about walking around the shops, but am nervous about having to talk to any1! mainly the sales assistants, and when (and how) i get lunch!
4. The guilt - obvious the wife doesn't know, so i'd feel guilty for doing such a drastic thing!

Hi Kelly

I hope you do find the courage to tell your wife at some point - she'd probably be the ideal shopping partner in London!

But, to answer your questions...

1. This is London - no one makes eye contact, talks, stares.
2. Ditto
3. Shop assistants in London have seen it all before, don't care and just want you to spend money... also they don't speak to you or expect to be spoken to.
4. Hmmmm. Then don't! Spill the beans and see if it's something the two of you can have fun with in the long-term. I expect your wife quite likes a spot of shopping too!

Good luck

[carrie-ann]

Self confidence walk slow stand tall aways smile speak softly. You will have the best time. I go to dillards and do make-up I sit there and just smile.

[boardpuppy]

Hi Kelly,

Don't worry if you are read or not, the idea is to have fun and enjoy your time in the real world as kelly. Take lots of pic's and tell us all about your adventures.

Hugs,
Alice

[kelly1469]

Went out for shopping trip in my local town for a few hours in the week (as a practice! lol) - felt amazing but i could sense so many looks (people thinking thats a man, laughing, etc) that it knocked my confidence a bit!

I'm still gonna go to London (next week) as its the only opportunity i'll have for ages, i'm just really nervous and scared!!

This is the outfit i was planning to wear, what do u think girls?


Thanks!! luv kelly xx

[skirtsuit]

I have been out in Philly now 6 times. People WILL notice, women espescially. Look back and smile!

I quickly came to realize that I am always going to look like a guy in dress and that anyone who looks at me closely will be able to tell. So, I don't worry!
I AM a guy in dress and speak confidently in my regular deep guy voice.

I really wouldn't worry, esp. in London. Try Oxford St. where all the big department stores are. Nobody will care, just look your best and hold your head high!

All the Best,
Ann / SS

PS - I found that asking strange women to take your photograph is a good way to gage people's reactions. Try it!

[weekend woman]

Above all, don't forget your anti-perspirant! You should never let them see you sweat.

[Miranda09]

You've got a very cute look Kelly, so don't be afraid as you'll blend in nicely, and as Katie said, buy a Cormo mag or something similar and read while on the train. No one will bother you. Go to London and have some fun. I love the outfit btw....looking cute.

[Laura_Stephens]

Went out for shopping trip in my local town for a few hours in the week (as a practice! lol) - felt amazing but i could sense so many looks (people thinking thats a man, laughing, etc) that it knocked my confidence a bit!

I'm still gonna go to London (next week) as its the only opportunity i'll have for ages, i'm just really nervous and scared!!

This is the outfit i was planning to wear, what do u think girls?


Thanks!! luv kelly xx

I have a decidedly American accent. But, If I were a Londoner, I would say, "Smashiing!"