I recently stumbled across this on a child behaviour site. It was written in response to a grandmother's worry about her small granddaughter who wants to be a boy. It interests me because the author could be describing my childhood -- until she says that she started to wear girls' clothes to attract boys. I too started to notice boys and wanted them to notice me, but I didn't start dressing as a girl for the purpose; that was never an option -- I knew I was a boy. Never mind the female body: I was a boy attracted to boys, ergo, I was homosexual.
So, do adolescent crushes separate the sheep from the goats, the transguys from the tomboys? What do you guys think? Here's the post:
"I wouldn't worry too much about this. I'm 23 years old, and when I was a kid, about the age of 5, I wanted to identify myself as a boy. I wanted short hair and to wear boys' clothes, and most of my casual friends were boys. My poor mom, lol, would always shake her head and look so disappointed at times; she'd want me to grow my hair a bit longer and wear down-to-earth girl clothes (not even the frilly, girly kind), but I wanted no part of it. She just let me develop as I wanted, though, and I'm glad she did. The only thing she enforced to me is that I have to accept that I am a girl, and so that's how I have to identify myself--but as for clothing, hairstyles, toys, sports, etc. she let me have my choice.
I think back on it now (I've grown up to be an average, straight, make-up wearing female) and realize that the reason I did not want to 'be a girl' was because they seemed so vulnerable, so cutsie, like little dolls that everyone wanted to dress up and dote on.
My thoughts about that: Barf.
I wanted to feel tough, respected, free from the confines of dresses and snug-fitting girly clothes and long hair care and maintenance, play in the mud and collect rocks, climb trees, jump bikes off dirt embankments and take taekwondo and horseback riding lessons.
When I hit puberty, it was horrible for me. The last things I wanted were breasts, hips and a period. I hid in a clothes rack when my mom took my training bra to the register to pay for it. Well, I learned, with great dismay and plenty of tearful moments of frustration, that puberty can't be halted and I was just going to have to deal with it.
Then I started noticing guys and wanting them to notice me. That didn't quite work out the way I wanted it at first, seeing as I'd been 'one of the boys; for so long. So I grew my hair long enough to have a short, feminine hairstyle and started to wear girls' clothes. By golly, it worked!
I'm still a tomboy, but I came to my senses and realized that being a girl is not such a bad thing after all. And fortunately, I was never pushed or forced to be someone I wasn't, which, if I was, probably would've made me a completely different person than I am today and a lot more negative about my gender.
Your granddaughter should be just fine. I think the best thing you can do for her is have a talk with her and tell her she can play and dress how she wants to, but she IS a girl, and that's just how it is. But she can be who she wants to be."