Karen, to have one doctor hand you off to another doctor without the appropriate medical bridge is not ethical. To be honest, there are lawyers that handle this kind of situation.
Please, get to a clinic, get ahold of the previous practice if possible, or even go the emergency room where they can get one of their specialists to handle the time before your "new" Dr. takes over.
Take care of yourself first, and then you'll have time to ponder your feminine self
be very well!!!
tina
Karren, you know your wife will be very disappointed with you if you get back on your meds and start dressing again, whats a little tumor if it makes she who must be obeyed happy?
But really, all any of us really want is to see a great person like you get what you need to be healthy and happy and if that makes you want to dress up and go shopping so be it!
Just take care of yourself.
Tina
Hi Karen
if you go it would be sad as i do enjoy reading your throghts as they mostly make me laugh.
so i for one hope that you come through this and get back to your old self soon.
claire
Hello Karren!
You are our comedy voice of reason usually. What a serious post. I'm sorry to hear of your tumor and hope that it will not cause you any problems in the future. As to stopping dressing....is that good or bad in your mind? If your new doctor gave you a different medicine and you did not care about dressing anymore would that be a good thing? I ask this because if I had the choice I would stop. That would certainly make my wife happier (and from your past posts your wife too). In any event, stay healthy, happy and content!
Charlie
Take a break from this forum if you must, but do what you need to do for your health and come back to us if the need strikes you. Hugs, Kathy
I've said this before and a few people have gotten upset with me but if my crossdressing just went away I would not care.. To not have to maintain two wardrobes and all the other hobby related stuff would just make life so much simpler.... Even though I totally accept my crossdressing its from an understanding that I know it will not totally go away.. Yeah I have fun crossdressing but I also have fun doing just about everything in my life.... My happiness is independent of the clothing I wear...
I am happy and will continue to be more than happy................ As long as I can keep playing hockey fore ever! Anyone can dress up like a girl but not everyone can score on a slapp shot from the point through the goalies five hole? Eah? Lol.
Cue the big smile with 3 front teeth missing!
Last edited by Karren H; 11-04-2009 at 07:11 PM.
Karren, whatever ends up happening... stay in touch! Your humor has been one of the things that keeps me coming back here when I otherwise don't know why I bother.
I do hope that you're able to keep that nasty tumor under control. That just ain't fun
Karren it's time to find another doctor. This new one seems too busy. If you were on your death bed she would give you an appt. in 5 weeks. Don't get rid of your clothes you still might want them later.
Awww..... Don't worry... I'm not on my death bed... I just played ice hockey twice this week so I am uber fit for my age....... reminds me that playoffs start next week.....
Really??? Then the Avs are first place!!! Yaya Stanley cup here we come!!!! Whoo hoo you Pens didnt stand a chance. Booyah In your face! Seems like the season was awful short thoOriginally Posted by Karren Hutton
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
The Avs ar in thrid... Behind San Jose and the penns in first!. And it my playoffs.. Lol. The bunch of old guys (and girls) trying not to get hurt league..
My desires to crossdress come and go. When I decided to stop fighting it a month or so ago, I was deep in pink fog. Right now I'm not all that interested in dressing. I expect it to come back at some point and then fade again.
I think you should talk to your new doctor about this side effect.
Funny but last night my wife was having issues with her heart medications... Her doctor goes over seas for a month in Nov the same time her perscription runs out... and I mentioned that I was oiff mine and wouldn't start again till January... And she replied "yeah but at least you won't die if you don't get yours".
All depends on your definition of death... Or who's dying.. Lol
Oh hell Karren,
Those of us on the forum can't assume what will work best for you. It appears that the vast majority of us respect you and would be saddened by your leaving the CD scene. However, given a choice between knowing you were out there healthy and playing hockey and having you commenting on makeup while a tumor is growing in your body, I'll go for the occasional hockey update thank you.
Althought our worlds revolve around our own lives, you have changed their orbits just a little bit. Take care of yourself and we will just have to improve our skills and develop a sense of humor for those spells when you may be otherwise occupied.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Karren, I wanted to touch on something that I'm not sure is being seen by others in your posts. Shelby touched on it to some degree, but I want to amplify it.
You're basing your conclusions here on two phases in your life. The first is when you went on the drug; ten years of no CDing, suddenly BAM it's back with a vengeance. And now, going off the drug and your CDing urge goes way down.
Coincidence? Perhaps not. But, we all go through phases. It is entirely possible your up/down swing matched with those moments.
Further, and I think more importantly being missed here....
You say CDing came back with a vengeance when you went on the drug. Came back. That means it was there before the drug. This part of you existed before you want on the drug at some point in your life, is this not true?
If so, to claim it is entirely chemically driven by an pill I think is flawed reasoning. It might be influenced by a pill, but it isn't present in you because of a pill.
I've thought often about you, and the situation you find yourself in with your wife. I know you try hard to be a good husband. I was just recently wondering what happens when you hit retirement, and are no longer travelling for work? Opportunities for you to express your femme side will be curtailed dramatically. What then? I wish I had the answers, and I'm sure you do to times a million.
As noted by many, you've been an inspiration to many here. But, you have to be an inspiration to yourself first; you have to be true to yourself. What is that true self? Only you can know. I would just be very, very careful to ascribe to a pill what is most likely a definitive part of you. "Karren" isn't contained in a pill bottle, in my opinion.
Last edited by JulieC; 11-05-2009 at 12:44 PM.
I think there is some significance in your observation that the new medication coincided with a renewed urge to crossdress. You acknowledge that you were crossdressing before. Perhaps it is chemical, perhaps the chemicals just resurrected an existing but suppressed preference.
you are unique in your combination of crossdressing and male activities. I haven't read of many others in these posts that are so clearly delineated. perhaps the enhanced testosterone is driving the male activities and without it you would be a whole lot more feminine more of the time. [in which case you could play for the Leafs, they could use a good woman].
Hi Karren
Yours was the first post I looked for tonight.
Anybody who can get 1752 hits on one subject within 24 hours is far too popular to leave.
That's probably a bigger score than you will ever get in a life time of pounding the puck out of that little disc.
Stay well.
PJ
Philippa Jane
Damn you Sarah.... I don't get emo but I had to seek out a box of tissues after reading this... I'm so touched and confused... Crying isn't my style... To me I just have a big mouth and love chatting about crossdressing and life and hockey... And I do it for my onw personal gratification... Guess I like to hear myself talk..... Never ever expecting anyone else to tag along for the ride.....
If any hormone or other drug had ever been found to be causal re: crossdressing I think that there would have been a whole lot of literature, studies, etc. proclaiming such.
Hugs, Carole
Dear Karren,
I'm very sorry to hear about you're problem, and while I can't add much to what has already been said, I would like to say a few things. First of all, like you, if my urge to crossdress disappeared, it wouldn't upset me, in fact it would make my life a lot easier. In fact I had not crossdressed in over 15 years, until I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a year and a half ago. After my surgery, which was very successful, my urge to crossdress came back with a vengeance. At that point I reassembled my wardrobe, and got fully into my present state of crossdressing, which included joining this forum. I don't know what the relationship is between removal of my prostate, and my urge to crossdress, but I have to believe that it is more than just coincidence. And since my prostate is gone for good (hopefully along with the cancer cells), I guess I'll just keep on crossdressing. It sure beats dying of cancer. And in my present state, I enjoy my crossdressing immensely. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that the most important thing is your health, and you must do everything you can to protect that. And if that means you lose your crossdressing desires, and stop visiting us, while we'll miss you, at least we'll know you're taking care of yourself. Good luck, and take care.
Interesting post, Karen!
I am both happy and sad for you. I wish I could pinpoint my reasons for wanting to be a woman but I can't. It has just always been there.
Your post makes me think about the question: If there was a pill that could make you stop wanting to be a woman, would you take it? My answer has always been -- No.
Karren, I'll first echo many and say you're one of the brightest stars in our constellation and with your absence our lives will all be a little dimmer.
Having said that, I want to emphasize (my own opinion) that your health should be of primary importance. We'll each bumble along, with or without you.
But only you know what you need or what is best for you.
That the health care system could leave someone with the threat of a tumor unattended for so long is just WRONG!
Other recourses have been suggested, but again, you know what is best for you.
Like most here, I hope you'll still warm our lives with your insight and generous humor, and also offer whenever you're able to stop in again, we've always got a spot saved for you.
The older I get, the more real I feel. And what I feel is not all that I am. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Please visit me on Facebook - Dina Walker http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003166749185
Julie..... Being an engineer with three data points I can draw a lline and some conclusions from that line... Right or wrong... And yeah I have always been a crossdresser but I theorize that the hormones from the slow growing tumor suppressed my desire to crossdress over a 10 year period... As it did my sex drive.. I was never big into sex and never really wanted to admit that sex and crossdressing were related... But they both went away and came back at the same time...
So when once I started taking medication for my condition and my chemical balance was restored it all came back... Maybe 10 years of repressed crossdressing was spewed out into a short period of time... Causing uber pink fog? I was out of control for sure..... but I can draw enough inferences to generate an equation.. Real or not..
On retirement.... I have been thinking about this more and more... And always end up with the same conclusion... Assuming that everything stays the same on the home front... And I'd be a fool to assume anything different let along things getting better from and acceptance level.... When I retire.... Karren will retire.... There is no other possible solution...
So basically I'm looking at counting down to maybe 3 years left to crossdress at best... After watching some close friends get laid off this morning.... After lunch I would have bet it was 3 hours... But I live to fight... Aka work... Another day...
Karen first I must say you are in my prayers. Tell that damn Doctor to get you in or your next appointment will be with a lawyer! It is amazing how we are nothing more than a walking bag of chemicals and hormones. One little change can make such a difference.
Make sure that you are wearing a mouth piece while playing hockey. You must protect that beautiful smile.
See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer
I just leaned of your condition. I'll include you in my daily prayers girl. You strike me as a strong one and a fighter - I don't worry about you.
As far as what you're feeling. It seems I'm experiencing similar symptoms and withdraws myself, although not prescription medication induced. I had thought it was just in my head. But reading your situation got me thinking. A couple of years ago (almost), when I hinted to my wife about my CD'ing, and after the initial supposed acceptance, and then her questioning my gayness and masculinity, etc... and her desire of me not doing any of it or she'd be forced to out me to the kids in an embarrassing way, I had decided to attempt to suppress my desires. I started going back to the gym regularly, and put myself on muscle supplements to build up my macho self physically where I'd not find myself anymore feminine, at least in the mirror, and therefore be discouraged to CD again. To make along story short, it seemed to work great, so for all that period, up until last month, I felt no desire to dress-up. Then, business got busy, and did not have time to frequent the gym as often, and I stopped taking the supplements, and started dieting to lose my gut fat and expose the almost evident six-pack. Then, last week, I had the urge to dress, stronger that ever. So I did last week.
After reading your story I decided to put myself to the test. Today, I started supplements again and working out. We'll have to see how I feel soon.
Is it all just a coincidence? Or is there truth to it? I hope we'll find out.
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