Why do we crossdress?

[Julie-Su]

I was talking with my girlfriend, who has known almost a year about my crossdressing and is having trouble accepting it, and she asked me why I crossdress. I am not quite sure I know how to answer that question... I have been doing it for so long that it just seems normal to me. She basically believes that if I expect her to put forth the effort to accept it, that I should put forth equal effort to try and explain why. The best I can come up with is that I crossdress because I like it. But why do I like it? Do I like feeling like a girl or do I just like going against the norm? I'm not entirely sure... Anyways, I figure if some other people helped brainstorm some ideas that maybe we could at least shed a little light on the situation.

[charlie]

Welcome Julie Su to the forum!
I'm glad you found us here and hope that you get as much out of it as I do. In a society that hates what we do, it is always good to have a backboard of people that can tell you, you are not entirely crazy nor alone! As to why I crossdress....it is tough. It is sort of like a drug that makes me feel complete and tranquil. When I get dressed up and go out I feel like a calm me and enjoy the feeling. As you mentioned, I also get a certain high being out among others while dressed as a female. However, I feel like a female then as well! Tough to explain, definitely. My wife has huge problems with my dressing. It has almost cost me my marriage. She tells me that I'm not normal nor the man she thought she married. I would quit if I could. However, it seems a part of me that I must retain.

[claire2454]

Hi Julie-su

well hun with a question like that you are asking for the meanning of life it self.
now i crossdress because it is natual for me to do so, and i now feel no shame at all in dressing in womens clothes as so meny of the girls on this site, as it also is the reason why any one of the girls dress and more.
so hun it is one of thoese things which is hard to explain. sorry i can't be off any more help in your quest to find a reason to give to your girlfriend. maybe you should show her this site to help her to find the reason why and one wants to dress.


lol claire

[Karren H]

Alien Abductions!!! Yeah... That's just as plausable and unprovable as any other excuse you can come up with...

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Julie-su, The question of why??????? I bet your girl friend wears pants men shirts ,no make up days, combat boot < the list goes on for the women with no problem. Now as for me I love the feel of all the different clothing of MINE that I wear. Do the women want to be men when they wear our type of clothing. My GG has no problem with me dressing causal or to the nines. we enjoy the person and the different personalty that it brings. I bet if u said to her , that if she dress's as women each an every day u will stop too. Love to hear that answer. But honey its more confertable in pants or shorts. I love wearing a skirt, I think that is more sane for a man. Good luck JO

[jenna_woods]

that's a very good question, I habe beend ressing for years and can't answer it, all I know is that I enjoy every minuite I am dressed.

[busker]

Many years ago, people in suits took away a baby monkey from its mother and it became sad and depressed. Monkies are social creatures the same as we are. As part of the experiment, they gave it a piece of cloth to cling to and this "cloth mother" seemed to help the baby monkey deal with its lonely and sad life.(a security blanket)
It is possible that crossdressing is the "cloth mother" that people need for whatever reason. Perhaps lack of motherly love early on, lack of touching (sensory deprivation) for babies, sibling rivalries and lack of attention-likely a psychological (body chemistry) need more than anything else. While a lot of people here indicated dressing while VERY young, many more seemed to have started in the puberty years where CHEMISTRY rules and parents may be too busy to be attentive. Society and family can be a very potent force and a force wlhich isn't always obvious. If crossdressing is NOT universal, then there must be some other reason. Do they crossdress in Outer Mongolia? do Eskimeaux parkas differ enough to give men the desire to crossdress? Do women obsess over work boots? This should not just be a male-preoccupation. Women should have this same drive to dress like a man and bake cookies!

[Stephenie S]

Dear Julie,

There are as many reasons for crossdressing as there are people who do. Why worry about it?

You want to explain yourself to your SO in a way that will make sense to her, but the fact is that this is not possible. She will either except your CDing or she won't, but this is very unlikely to hinge on your explanation.

You CD because you want to. Plain and simple. That's why. Clearly you don't HAVE to, although there are plenty on this forum who will tell you otherwise. A guy CDs because he want's to and will do so until the rewards of so doing outweigh the consequences.

We don't rob banks even though we COULD. Why? Because the consequences are too severe. We don't beat up little old ladies and steal their pocketbooks because the consequences are too severe.

Yet CDing is a relatively benign activity. You are hurting NO ONE. It's not illegal. It's not imoral. You are breaking NO laws, neither God's nor man's. So it's difficult to come up with a reason not to do it.

It's FUN (I hope), or you wouldn't be doing it. You LIKE it. It gives you a thrill. It's a bit of forbidden fruit that you KNOW is perfectly harmless. For many, there is a huge sexual component. There is a huge SENSUAL aspect also. The clothes FEEL nice.

Have I come up with enough reasons? I could keep going. Ask any one on this forum and you will get a slightly different answer. But answers you will get. There are THOUSANDS of crossdressers, and thousands of reasons why.

My advice? Stop worrying about WHY, and just enjoy it. If your wife is not on board, just keep her out of it. Figure out a way to do it without her. You have no right to demand that she paricipate, or even approve. Many men have activities that their wives don't approve of. Many men hunt, for instance. And many wives are apalled that every year their husbands grow a beard, buy some beer, and go into the woods to kill little defenceless animals. But the marriage survives anyway, because these men don't insist that their wives participate. Leave her OUT of it if you have to.

OK sweetie. I got a little long winded. Sorry. But you did not ask a simple question. Most CDers eventually give up searching for the reason WHY, and just enjoy it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[AllieSF]

Because its there!! ????

[Danielle Gee]

I do it because I like it, It makes me feel comfortable, and its the way I was brought up

[Karen7cd]

I am gaining an understanding of why I cd. I worked hard all my life. I have become a very honest, good person. I have aquired education and much training. None of it matters. If you are over 50 no one wants you, unless you can say "want fries with that".
CDing is an escape in to a new person, someone that has a large group of ciber firends,
that will give help and advice and never be critical. For the few moments each day when I dress. My problems, my unemployment, my bills, my turn off notices are gone.
I am pretty, I am industrious, I am creative, I am woman! Just a little physically stronger then most...

[KayC]

Hi Julie-su, The question of why??????? I bet your girl friend wears pants men shirts ,no make up days, combat boot < the list goes on for the women with no problem. Now as for me I love the feel of all the different clothing of MINE that I wear. Do the women want to be men when they wear our type of clothing. My GG has no problem with me dressing causal or to the nines. we enjoy the person and the different personalty that it brings. I bet if u said to her , that if she dress's as women each an every day u will stop too. Love to hear that answer. But honey its more confertable in pants or shorts. I love wearing a skirt, I think that is more sane for a man. Good luck JO

Give us a break on that one...we don't wear jeans and boots to dress like men, we wear them because they are practical. I'm not and never will try to emulate a man. However, I do support your right to dress however you want.

[StephHamilton]

i do it because it simply is who i am, im not ashamed and its natural

[AmberLynn]

Tough question,cause there is no solid 1 anwser. it's diffrent for everyone.

me,i have allways felt something was wrong with me. i did not feel like a jump on the horse and ride into a stamped,grab a hunk of steel and start welding guy. i wanted to cook and clean,and care for other's. i wanted to be a female for the longest time,then i got to thinking hard for a long time and relized i can be both a man that care's and help's out people when and where ever it presents it's self,and dress as a pretty pretty girl. you will find your anwser as well just dont rush it

[Kate Simmons]

Alien Abductions!!! Yeah... That's just as plausable and unprovable as any other excuse you can come up with...

Yep and I'm waiting to see if they show what kind of experiments the ET's perform on humans in the new movie "The Fourth Kind". It could answer a LOT of questions for us.

[PetiteTonya]

That the only questions I would focus on were When, Where and How.

Why,,,,was taking up too much time and precious psychological energy.

[Karren H]

Yep and I'm waiting to see if they show what kind of experiments the ET's perform on humans in the new movie "The Fourth Kind". It could answer a LOT of questions for us.

Yeah!!! I'd swear when they show the promo video.... And that guy is taken.. When he's returned he's wearing a skirt. And smiling!! You have to look real close!

[sherri52]

Hi Julie and welcome. Only you can answer this question. There are many members here and each one of us will give a different answer. Many will be similar to others but we are our own individuals and think accordingly.

[Jeanna]

Julie-Su, It would be best to do your own soul searching. I do it without ever thinking that it is wrong. But you could tell her something like this: "It feels good and it feels right. I've been doing it so long now that it doesn't excite me but rather, it calms me. I have a feminine side,she is gentle and kind.She can also be sexy and sultry, "Do you want to meet her"
She may say, "you still haven't explained why"
You can reply, "I was abducted by aliens and they did this to me and I think it's permanent!"

[Taylor186]

To paraphrase a CD friend, "If you know why you crossdress, then you're not one."

[AmandaM]

I just like to think it's because my brain is part-female.

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]Because we can and we love it!![/SIZE]

[stefanie]

i am sure we have all also asked that queston ourselves in our own journey...

obviously the worlds greatest scientists have not figured it out either....heck ,they are still figuring out if eggs are good or bad lol

anyways, my thought is that we are simply born with the interest as it often shows up in our early age. So while seemingly we have a choice as some discouver themselves later in life, most of us really did not. It was just built in. No different than passions for sports, arts, etc. I have found one major difference is the way my personality also changes....so something is chemically happenning as well i suspect in my brain. But then again, is that any difference that a andrenaline rush when mtn biking, being in awe by music, or taking off suring a wave

its built in....its now why, its why not.

[LisaM]

Julie,

I have always wanted to dress as a girl. It seemed right because I always wanted to be a girl. That is as deep as I can get.

[chloe_cross]

So, this is something I have given a lot thought and I have been in the very same situation with my SO.

What I told her was this... The ability to dress and transform into another persona was always a form of escapism for me. It was very similar to a drug or alcohol. It took me away from my male self and transported me to another place. Once I had realized that, I also realized that i had become addicted to it. I know this sounds very negative, but for me it was the truth. Of course I loved and still love being dressed, but it was a way for me to get away from me.

But that was just the starting point. From there it grew into a side of me that at times I cannot ignore. I told her that I didn't need to dress often, but there are going to be times that I will need her help and acceptance. And that is what she has given me. And I am grateful.