As Tonto said to the Lone Ranger: What you mean "we," white man?Originally Posted by Lorileah
As Tonto said to the Lone Ranger: What you mean "we," white man?
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
LGBTQ PRIDE
As of Oct. 5th, go here to see my pics:http://www.flickr.com/people/fab_karen/
A Yankee Doodle T-Girl
proud of my President
[SIZE="2"]I’ve said this before – my theory is that women don’t understand men wanting to look or “be” like women because they…are women! I mean, they’ve been there, done that, so what’s the big deal? Men have spent years with uncomfortable, unstylish clothing, so it’s obvious that nicer things (to wear or simply to touch) would be attractive to them. I don’t know how women feel about the clothes they’ve been wearing all or most of their lives, but, I’m guessing they’ve felt somewhat trapped by it – how else to explain their reaction? I’ve heard women complain about bras, hosiery, heels (ankle problems), makeup, wearing dresses or skirts in cold weather, and so forth. Any self-respecting woman would turn to a crossdressing male and think “why on Earth would you want to go through all that we have had to put up with?” I can see their viewpoint, but I think a more enlightened female would at least understand the urge to crossdress…
I was thinking today that I have no problem understanding FtM crossdressing – I mean, being a crossdresser myself, I‘m tuned in to that wavelength, but I rewired my own brain years ago…[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]Appearances can be deceiving. If you feel “safe” with your big, strong, masculine guy, that’s OK, but keep in mind that he (like most males) is bluffing his way through life on perceived strength. I speak from experience – I’ve been among these supposedly “strong” males my whole life, and they are as insecure as the rest of us. I wish you well…[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]A wise statement…[/SIZE]
If someone can define what a creep looks like and how they are supposed to behave then I would be very grateful so I could ensure that I don't possess any of those creepy qualities.
Or maybe creepiness is an entirely subjective label used to demean others who do not conform to your definition of normality.
So if someone finds your CDing "creepy" it actually tells you alot more about that person than it describes yourself. As others have said, it is small-minded people who have strict sexist ideas of what constitutes a man who get upset when their prejudices are challenged.
I find myself agreeing with you here Satrana ........ a rare occurrence we will both agree
but you see that last bit lets you down ........... because you then begin to demean those who do not conform to your idea of prejudices or rather your definition ....... just because some one does not agree with you does not make them small-minded people sorry just my
In general I find people creep me out by mannerisms, looks rather than by dress and I am a GG
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
I believe Buffalo Bill may have something to do with it, as well as a couple other real or mythical serial killers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCSZf...eature=related
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 11-08-2009 at 07:40 AM. Reason: link removed
I think some women are creeped out by CD'ing,hell yes. But really it seems like the ladies are more accepting than guys.
If you try to act and dress to blend in as a woman, even if you are a non-passable TS or CD, you should do fine.
What most people find "creepy" is when someone seems to want to publicly display their fetishes. If you are decently dressed, everything covered, honest effort on your looks, people probably won't even notice you. It is when you get these TS or CD who walk around with their butt hanging out of a too-short mini skirt or whatever that draws attention.
If someone likes to wear their intimates under their presentable clothes where the public cannot see it, no big deal. I don't think women find lingerie so sexy though, maybe on themselves but not on a TS or CD unless she truely has the body for it. Even then I don't imagine most GG's would be impressed.
I do think passable and non passable TS/CD each face slightly unique problems with things though.
If a TG is seen in public and isn't passing, but is decently dressed, the reaction would be mostly "OH hmm, well I thought it was a woman for a second." If a passable one has her cover blown, people really seem to freak.
"OMG, did you know Jane Transgirl is really a man?!"
Yeah but basically it is the public display of fetishes that bothers people. Not so much the gender variance.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
You can thank the pop culture prototype for this I guess.
And so we go, on with our lives...
We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?
I totally agree Nicole... Leave the fetishes at home.
wow! so many reponses. thanks to all. I should try to clarify, if this helps. I think that for most of us, crossdressing is accompanied by a mental shift-we would prefer to pose and present as we percieve a woman would-sit like Leslie Stahl (60 minutes) , not like Joe College at a football talk. This probably isn't how most women would like to picture their guys deporting themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes, there is 'aping' that might be seen in a cheap burlesque and this may be part of the stereotyping that may go on. Clearly, if we are met in a non weird context, discussion carried on, etc on-it would become OK and less fearful to females. just my thoughts. best to all, helen
I think that some women are too close minded, I think they think we are creepy becuse we should wear jeans t-shirt and boots and not skirts or dresses. It's like we are invading their space.
Bouncing is what tiggers do best.
I'm not a girl. I'm a man in a skirt.
I see your point. You can see much of this here, people who have accepting SO that come here and complain about their SO using their clothes without permission, calling them "he" instead of "she", not letting use specific wardrobes while in public...Hmmmm, I am not a GG, and I believe that I must be "hard wired" in much the same way. Nothing does it for me like a big strong masculine man. Shirtless works too!
No one wants to be close to a whiner, and I sometimes see too much whining and self pity in CDs. To be too much self-centered can also be annoying. Being too obsessed about looks can show that a person is insecure. And watching an unattractive overweight aged man in the streets using a mini skirt that not even young girls would use, is kind of repulsive.
All this is not attractive to a woman, and can be perceived as creepy. Specially if you mix some of the above examples...
I agree completely! Fetish dressers when outside of clubs or private venues put the rest of us in a bad light.I don't care to be anywhere near these people...let them have the attention while I pass by unnoticed. But the image of the fetish dresser will stick in the minds of all that saw the "big trannie in the too tight minnie,with platform laceup boots" forever!!
I'm not sure why you think most woman would think CD's are creepy. If anything, it's unattractive. Some woman might not like it if their man doesn't want to be a man because they want a man, not a woman. If they wanted a woman, they'd be with one.
I know that for me.. I once was in a goodwill looking in the woman's section for particular types of clothing... (When I first did that it took a great sum of will and courage to attempt it. I knew that people would give me funny looks. Some younger people made comments about me. I knew people would think it was weird. However, I didn't care. My appetite needed to be quenched.) ..... One of the ladies that moved stuff around and worked at the cashier came over next to one of the racks nearby and grabbed one of the peices of clothing I had just looked at. I don't know if she was paying attention to what I was doing, but she lifted it up and asked the other coworker how it looked??? Then she put it back on the rack and resumed whatever she was doing. I felt so embarrased and did my best to ignore it and get what I wanted so I could leave. Anyway, that's what I've done in public. I haven't done that for years and don't plan to. For me this "hobby" is purely for sexual fun. I'm not trying to be a woman, nor do I want to be one. I do my best to hide it precisely because I'm not trying to creep anyone out. I have to try things to learn though and that means I make mistakes.
I'll admit though that I have no interest in being a hairy smelly sweating shirtless grunting muscleman. I'm more of the metro-type. I like being thin and being free. I mostly like who I am. A lot of woman don't like metro-sexuals because they're not attracted to it, but some are ok with it. I will say that metro-sexuals are not woman stuck inside a mans body. They're just males with a deeper appreciation for things on both sides of life. Why limit yourself to one thing? I could say the same thing for CD's. They're like explorers. We're all explorers in life, we're just in different places doing different things. We don't always understand eachother or understand the motives of one another. Sometimes we let fear get the best of us. Then again, this diversity is what makes life interesting - just so long as noeone gets hurt.
If anyone asked me what would be my ideal body I'd have to say something efficient, sleek, refined, and fast. I wouldn't say male or female. Is that creepy? Why? For the most part, males and females have issues. If you're going to have kids, you need a reproductive system and this means a lot of hassle. I'd go without one if I could. I guess to some extent, what scares people about CD's could be what scares them about gays. For example if everyone was gay we wouldn't have any children, correct? If all men wanted to be woman, we wouldn't have any men and wouldn't have any children. The bottom line is, we all live in fear too much and make broad generalizations too often. If you don't know that someone trully has ill intentions to harm someone, then don't feed those fears. There're more than enough men and woman in this world that want nothing else other than to be exactly what they were born as. There's no shortage of children, either. There's plenty of room for a bit of divergence, as long as it's peaceful in nature.
Last edited by gemsay32; 11-08-2009 at 09:02 AM.
And do you really think SA's and the women you meet in public aren't saying anything at all about you when your back is turned?
When people, including gg's, say "its That Guy", uh-oh!
They are probably saying "how nice you look" to other sales associates after you leave.
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
If you buy things - absolutely they're going to say "how nice you look". But after you leave, do you really truly believe they're saying that?
Of course people say things behind our backs but you're being far too cynical.If you buy things - absolutely they're going to say "how nice you look". But after you leave, do you really truly believe they're saying that?
How do you know some of them aren't saying nice things about us?
Lili, a makeup person at the Nordstrom's in the King of Prussia Mall probably wouldn't have told me that several of her coworkers approached her to say how good I looked unless it really happened. Yes I bought some expensive Dior makeup from her and will do so again, but she doesn't have to make up stories to get me back because she was soooo nice to me in person that I want to go back anyway.
It is not hard to tell the difference between a person doing their job and just being polite and someone who is really interested and happy to deal with you as you are. When I was in Cinema II (a very nice wig store on S. Broad ) the women who looked me in the eye and told me how nice I looked were not just doing it for a laugh - I could tell they meant it. Hell, one of them, an older lady customer offered to give me a ride as we were leaving!
Would the 42 YO GG manager of the Sephora store on Chestnut readily accept my offer for a 'girls' lunch if she and her coworkers were laughing at me behind my back?
When I got my ears pierced, the 2 super cute teenage girls working at Clare's were absolutely wonderful, chatting and laughing with me. I'm a middle aged guy, but I know enough about cute teen agers to know that they would not be able to pretend that well. If they had been creeped out by me it would have shown.
I could go on and on. I'm sure people do talk about me but I believe a lot of it is probably positive, mostly because I'm really nice and super good looking!
All the Best,
Ann / SS
In my 60 plus years of crossdressing I have never heard a comment from a GG indicating she thought I was creepy! If such thoughts were uttered behind my back, so what!!
What I have heard is pretty much the opposite! During my 60 plus years I have spent many hours trying on various types of clothing, everything from the skin out. SA's have seen me in panties and bra, and completely dressed! I have been fitted for a bra on many occasions, in more than one store! The only type of comments from them is about how nice I looked!
Early in out marriage some of our friends knew I CD'ed. Some of the ladies had been on shopping trips with my wife and I. So they also had seen my lingerie. No comments, other than compliments.
I think if you act creepy, you will be regarded as creepy! When I am dressed, I always try to act as though I belong in that clothing. I don't dress in outlandish clothing, in order to draw attention! I dress to please myself, not everyone else!
Last edited by sissystephanie; 11-08-2009 at 06:58 PM. Reason: Added information!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
So,the T girl being in the store gave them something to talk about..so what!!It doesn't mean they feel the T girl is a creep.Some might be very jealous...we can fix our trucks and do our makeup!!!
Look, you're most certainly entitled to believe whatever you want. But I have a very hard time believing that some of you are so naive as to really think these SA's don't talk about you behind your back. It's human nature.
People will say one thing to your face but when you're gone - it's a completely different story. They get paid to make you feel good and make sales. But hey, if it works for you - that's all that matters, Right?
Jenny -
What part of this leads you to think I'm naive?
Read the new thread on the Dress Barn in the Clothing Talk section. Do SAs normally ask customers out to diner, or are they just out for the sale?Originally Posted by skirtsuit
Of course people say things behind our backs but you're being far too cynical.
I'll say it again - Of course people talk behind our backs.
All the Best,
Ann / SS
I think if you seen it on television where the shows are produced to give a negative to one extreme while giving a positive on a dog of a man.
For the most part it is about how you carry yourself! For me women have not been an issue in public and I think it is on how I present myself publicly.
The creepy feeling is when they see a full bearded man dressed using the ladies room!
I don't have much experience with this, but so far I have not found that women find crossdressers and transexuals to be creepy. Of course, some must feel this way, but that's really a "bell-curve" kind of thing. For the most part, I think that women are pretty accepting and supportive of CDs.
warmly, Linnea
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