Where did the fun go?

**SuzanneBender** · 11-14-2009, 10:49 AM

I am on testosterone laden weekend hunting with my brothers and some friends. After walking my tookis off and purposefully missing some pheasants that I no longer care about killing, I came back to the lodge early. Here I sit researching lip plumper, night cream and trading posts with my girl friends.

Please don't get me wrong. I enjoy my guy time, but for some reason the weekend I used to hold as the holy grail of guy time, opening day of pheasant season, seems to have lost its luster. I love the camaraderie of hanging with the guys and especially my brothers, but other than a discussion about microbrews and football last night I felt the rest of the guy time was sophomoric at best. At one point my inner voice was screaming men are such boys.

What does this mean? I used to love events like this. Now they are a chore. My wife and girls went to the city shopping this weekend. I would have much rather gone with them. If I am going to walk my tushy off I now would rather do it for a great deal on a new dress than a dead bird.

This afternoon and tonight, I bond with my bros over beer, chilli, late football games and silly movies. That should be fun. I wonder what would happen if I suggested we watch project runway?

My therapist is going to get an earful next week!

**Lorileah** · 11-14-2009, 11:24 AM

Susan

As an Ex-Nebraska resident, I understand the ritual and sacredness of opening day (so many guys out there I am surprised they don't shoot each other.)

But you are not alone. I don't like the cold anymore. I don't like killing (I don't mind eating though). I don't mind the walking if it s nice out. And I still like shooting...bottle, skeet, targets (Oh speaking of Target, I wonder what's on sale).

I would say we have evolved but it is more like we have gone beyond. Is Kansas like Nebraska? Last time I was there in November, EVERYONE for 1-92 was dressed in Camouflage. The VS at the mall even had a mannequin in Cami panties and bra ( Gee bubba I don't know what happened. We was out here in this field and she took off her clothes and next thing I knew she just flat blended in with the landscape. I looked for an hour before I finally gave up cuz I needed a beer.)

Enjoy the party part, suffer the macho hunting part. Make up some lies about your pickup, how women still find you attractive when your pants show your crack, how you once almost scored that winning touchdown (even though you played piccolo in the marching band) and how you got that 12 gauge pump at cost because the store didn't really know what it was worth.

Remember, the real season starts in two weeks. Get that charge card ready!

**sherri** · 11-14-2009, 12:57 PM

Although I've nearly always had a close male friend or two, I've never been a hang-out-with-the-guys kind of guy. Never liked sports or hunting or hot rods or Harleys or any of that stuff. Never could think of anything to say around a bunch of guys shooting the s**t. Just never fit in, and it always bothered me, a lot. Now it all makes sense.

In one of my favorite scenes in the movie Birdcage, Armand (Robin Williams) is trying to teach sissy Albert (Nathan Lane) how to act like a man and talk guy talk --

Armand: "Al, you old son of a bitch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!"

Albert: "How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered ...

... What? Wrong response?"

I can relate.

**kathyw** · 11-14-2009, 01:15 PM

hi uall im kind of new to this form but iv been reading alot of the post. im acornhusker at birth and love the countryside and at 4-6 found out i like womans clothes to.i like all kind of sports until the last 20 years.

**5150 Girl** · 11-14-2009, 01:17 PM

Well, I Was never much of a hunter. (White tail deer is the big draw arround here) The idea of getting up before the sun to sit in the cold, just never held any apeal to me. Maybe if I could head out about noon on a mid summer day maybe I could have been a hunter.
However,,, Here is where I can identify with your post. I used to enjoy working on cars/trucks. Now the thought of getting dirty, and maybe busting my knuckles or breaking a nail, just don't sit well anymore.
I don't know if it has lost it's apeal because of how it could damage my manicure, --OR-- has it lost it's apeal because it's moved from a "want to" thing to a "have to" thing??? I have found that people loose a desire for things when they are forced to do them.

**SusanCACD** · 11-14-2009, 01:28 PM

I am really ready to quit. I can't seem to bring myself to even try make up anymore, I look so ugly. I love the fashion and heels and everything that goes with it but can't seem to get enough courage to be me and go out and be with others like me. I know I am hopeless......

Does anyone have any ideas to break out of this, this "slump" (for lack of better word) Is it like this for everyone? If it is, I really feel for you girls.......

Susan

**DiannaRose** · 11-14-2009, 01:59 PM

Susan, focus on the parts of it that you love...you listed them: "I love the fashion and heels and everything that goes with it". So you have a reason to keep going, if you desire. I know I couldn't quit if I wanted to, and I'm not ever going to be pretty. I may not ever get a chance to meet others like me, but I remain hopeful, because I know those are the people who are going to accept what I am without question or hesitation. I've therefore made it a goal...before I die...to go to a local CD gathering at least once, dressed.

YOU are not hopeless, Susan. You may not feel any hope, but that's because you can't see the road ahead. If you were a Believer, this would be the point where you must put all your faith and trust in God to lead you--or carry you. (I cover topics like this on my blog, if you're interested...see my siggy below.)

If you're not a Believer, then know that you have sisters and brothers here who don't care what you look like, who believe in who you are, and who love you just for being you. If you *want* to stop, go ahead. But stopping just because you don't think you can carry off the look isn't a good enough reason, in my book.

Small steps, Susan. I'm not anywhere near ready to go out dressed anywhere yet--nor can I see how it can happen--but I someday want to, and I hold onto that as a goal. In the meantime, I underdress as often as I can, and go out that way. When I'm home and safely alone, then I dress as much as I can, because it just makes me feel good.

Prayers for you, Sue!

**2B Natasha** · 11-14-2009, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by DiannaRose

Susan, focus on the parts of it that you love...you listed them: "I love the fashion and heels and everything that goes with it". So you have a reason to keep going, if you desire. I know I couldn't quit if I wanted to, and I'm not ever going to be pretty. I may not ever get a chance to meet others like me, but I remain hopeful, because I know those are the people who are going to accept what I am without question or hesitation. I've therefore made it a goal...before I die...to go to a local CD gathering at least once, dressed.

YOU are not hopeless, Susan. You may not feel any hope, but that's because you can't see the road ahead. If you were a Believer, this would be the point where you must put all your faith and trust in God to lead you--or carry you. (I cover topics like this on my blog, if you're interested...see my siggy below.)

If you're not a Believer, then know that you have sisters and brothers here who don't care what you look like, who believe in who you are, and who love you just for being you. If you *want* to stop, go ahead. But stopping just because you don't think you can carry off the look isn't a good enough reason, in my book.

Small steps, Susan. I'm not anywhere near ready to go out dressed anywhere yet--nor can I see how it can happen--but I someday want to, and I hold onto that as a goal. In the meantime, I underdress as often as I can, and go out that way. When I'm home and safely alone, then I dress as much as I can, because it just makes me feel good.

Prayers for you, Sue!

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**Karren H** · 11-14-2009, 02:43 PM

Suck it up, Woman!! lol I have fun no mater how I'm dressed..... Though I never enjoyed killing things... But tonight is our first playoff game and I'm going to enjoy checking someone into the boards... big time!!

.

**Ugly Michele** · 11-14-2009, 03:11 PM

I know how you feel, the last time I went white tail hunting I prefered to get dressed up at night, and show off my outfits. Would spend the day in my coveralls dressed, would sit in the woods till I would be overcome with the desire to just have my outfit on.

**DiannaRose** · 11-14-2009, 03:18 PM

LisaLotte, I was responding to SusanCACD's post immediately above mine. Seems like maybe her post and mine belong in a different thread...moderators, feel like making Susan's a separate thread?

**Princess Chantal** · 11-14-2009, 03:33 PM

I know exactly how you feel....
Last Sunday I was at a Pamper and Indulge trade show thingy. There I was surrounded by tables of free chocolates, jewellery, tarot reading, nail and spa advice..... I was even strutting on the "cat walk" (was actually a dance floor) for the fashion show wearing just a corset, panties, stockings and heels
However my mind was wishing that I was watching the football games instead..........
Jeez, I used to look forward to and love helping out in fashion shows............. What happened??????

**Fab Karen** · 11-14-2009, 03:57 PM

Maybe you're growing out of that gun fetish.

**Christinedreamer** · 11-14-2009, 04:21 PM

All the guys on my Dad's side are techhies. I think I am the only CD although we do have a few lesbians. Strange brew for sure.

I never understood the term "Sport" hunting. If you want to call killing an animal a sport, have a competition. The deer is "buck" naked so the human should be as well. Go head to head with a deer the way Nature made it and the way Nature made the human and have at it. Lets see who wins.

I never have enjoyed the stereotypical "guy stuff" I much prefer music and sightseeing. Listening to Yanni while dressed is the ultimate high for me.

The testosterone can take the day off.

**sherri52** · 11-14-2009, 04:26 PM

Growing up in Boston: Opening day meant Red Sox. We weren't much on hunting unless we could get it at the grocery store. But I would still rather get the dress.

**kellycan27** · 11-14-2009, 05:53 PM

I'd shoot one while wearing a cocktail dress and heels! Yum! We still gotta eat right? I do get your point though.

Kel

**sandra-leigh** · 11-14-2009, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by Princess Chantal

Last Sunday I was at a Pamper and Indulge trade show thingy. There I was surrounded by tables of free chocolates, jewellery, tarot reading, nail and spa advice..... I was even strutting on the "cat walk" (was actually a dance floor) for the fashion show wearing just a corset, panties, stockings and heels

The chocolates were milk chocolate (bleh!), the jewellery wasn't anything special, the nail and spa advice you could have gotten any of the times you've gone to the spa; and there were line-ups for the tarot readings. And most of the floor show was pretty uninteresting... how many times can I see the information about the interchangeable shoe parts before I grow bored (answer: only once, and that was months ago.)

My wife and I have been having better success in finding interesting things in going to bunches of the craft shows that are on at this time of year -- purses, scarves, some nice jewelry that I haven't seen before, some batik hangings. Yes, some of the shows consist of 5 tables, but others of them are 4 floors of skilled artists.

The lingerie catwalk was the only part of the show worth paying attention to (other than the... stockings... on the woman giving out the chocolates

)

**Shayna2008** · 11-14-2009, 06:41 PM

I was into team sports growing up, playing things like roller-hockey and soccer. Nowadays I don't care for sports at all. I feel funny standing in a room with guys talking about hunting and other "guy stuff". I usually don't even speak up because I don't know what to talk about. It's more interesting talking with a group of women. I can talk for a long time with them.

I do like outdoor activity, like finding/exploring caves and hiking, though.

**Sally24** · 11-14-2009, 07:20 PM

Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

Please don't get me wrong. I love the camaraderie of hanging with the guys and especially my brothers, but other than a discussion about microbrews and football last night I felt the rest of the guy time was sophomoric at best.

What does this mean? I used to love events like this. Now they are a chore.

I've found that many men, not all, don't change alot thru the years. Maturing for them is just getting older and nothing else. For some of my sensitive friends, they continue to learn and be interested in all sorts of new things. If I ever end up in a nursing home, there are instructions to keep me with the women. I can see finding things in common to talk with them. Most of the men, I fear, would be talking sports and cars and not much else. I'd be much more interested about talking people, kids, our lives, and watching drippy movies.