Would I date a CD

[Katesback]

Being a TS gal that works a lot with the transgender population (I manage an HIV prevention program targeting transgender people) sometimes I have been asked if I would date a CD.

That is just one of those REALLY tough questions. Honestly I see all people with positives and negatives. You as a prospect have to weigh the positives and the negatives out and decide after that analysis.

For a personal relationship I have to be honest and say that the CD thing carries a red mark. Why? Well for one if I am dating a guy that is what I want. I cant say it excites me that my guy would want to pretend to be a woman. I cant say it excites me that I might have a womens clothes besides mine in my house (with some CDs I should says TONS of womens clothes). I cant say that it excites me that there would be a likelyhood of the CD thing escalating over time (yes it often gets increasingly more a part of your life). I cant say that I like the idea that I would be asked to help with makeup, shopping, going out, I could go on and on.

The point here is that in reality if I was dating a man I would want a man. Does that mean I would NOT date a CD? I would consider it because as I said there is positives and negatives. If the positives outweighted the negatives I would give it some serious thought. There would be one other exception. When he wanted to dress he would be doing it on his own and I would be going out with the girls.

I might add that in my NON personal life I will hang with anyone. I take CDs shopping on occasion, I just go with the flow, but things are different in ones personal life.

Katie

[Karren H]

I'm glad you find us as distasteful as real women and gays and men... For a minute I thought we had something in common.. My mistake..

[Katesback]

I dont find anyone distasteful.

[Holly]

...I will hang with anyone. I take CDs shopping on occasion...

Thanks for the offer, Kate, but I will respectfully decline. I really don't care to be a part of your condescending, elitism.

[mykhelee]

condescending elitism, nuff said

[aggi123]

hmm....I would date a FtM I think. I would think that you being what you are would bring some understanding. Maybe I'm just reading your post wrong, but it seems narrow minded.

[PetiteDuality]

I don't get the harsh words towards Kate.

She is being honest, and provides a window of understanding about why so many GGs don't accept crossdressing men as a couple.

To be honest and when I was single, I would only date very feminine ladies, which leaves out tomboys or perhaps a FTM crossdresser. Hey, but I wouldn't date a lot of people for many reasons. I don't like women with ugly feet

It doesn't mean that I discriminate. In my opinion, discriminating really does not apply when we are talking about dating. And it doesn't mean that maybe I could have fall in love with a woman with ugly feet or a tomboy, it's just not that it's not my first option or what I would actively pursue.

Everybody get's moved by different things. Kate is just being honest.

By the way, I wouldn't date a TS either.

[sherri]

I can't help but suspect that this is a troll? Everyone has a right to their dating preferences, but I can't imagine what constructive point there is to posting this here unless it were in response to a relevant query. And I can't tell you how much I despise the snobbishness some TSs display toward CDs.

As for Aggi's comment, heck yes, I'd date an FTM -- or just about any other gender variation -- in a heartbeat if the chemistry was good.

[PetiteDuality]

As for Aggi's comment, heck yes, I'd date an FTM -- or just about any other gender variation -- in a heartbeat if the chemistry was good.

So would I (if I were single).

Just that I really doubt that there would be good chemistry

[Teri Jean]

Karren, I would date you but you have to take the skates off in the house. Being TS, life choices in partners doesn't have to be black and white. There are a lot of girls here that perk my interest. Teri

[Sheila]

Well Katie, I would think that your post has just managed to really tick quite a few folks off

I cant say it excites me that my guy would want to pretend to be a woman. I cant say it excites me that I might have a womens clothes besides mine in my house (with some CDs I should says TONS of womens clothes). I cant say that it excites me that there would be a likelihood of the CD thing escalating over time (yes it often gets increasingly more a part of your life). I cant say that I like the idea that I would be asked to help with makeup, shopping, going out, I could go on and on. Katie

Debs is not pretending to be anything, she is who she is a very very special person ........... should she continue down the road we are on we may end up with Debs full time ........ her clothes hanging beside mine in the wardrobe don't excite me either, ........... but she sure as hell does

The point here is that in reality if I was dating a man I would want a man. Does that mean I would NOT date a CD? I would consider it because as I said there is positives and negatives. If the positives outweighed the negatives I would give it some serious thought. There would be one other exception. When he wanted to dress he would be doing it on his own and I would be going out with the girls.

Katie

The negatives in dating a TG person come from all the crap that they feel society will throw at them for being who they are .. get past that and they are like any ordinary bunch of folks (THAT IS CAUSE THEY ARE), some are brill, some are A$$holes, they majority are somewhere between the two.

For me, I wasn't looking to date at all after my last relationship ended (regardless of which gender they were) ... ..... however, .....I got extremely lucky and found Debs

[kellycan27]

I wouldn't date a cross dresser either......or a gg, or a gay man. Not that I have anything against being any of these, just not my thing. I imagine that there are quite a few cross dressers that wouldn't date a TS as many have stated that they are attracted to GG's. I don't see anyone labeling them as "elitist".
Personally I feel that there probably are a lot of cder's that possess qualities that I may be attracted to, but I tend to narrow the dating pool to what my preconceived notion (if you will) of what I am looking for to single.str8, non-gg,non-cd people. Why turn this into a "us against "them" argument? We all have different tastes and preferences. I don't take offence to someone saying that they woudn't date a TS... Different strokes for different folks. Kelly

[Elizebeth]

I understand you, You have the same feeling as my wife.

[Amy Lynn3]

Yeah, what Holly said!!!

[Alicia Grey]

Being a TS gal that works a lot with the transgender population (I manage an HIV prevention program targeting transgender people) sometimes I have been asked if I would date a CD.

I've been out of the dating game for several decades now. So I ask. Would you take your grandfather out to eat if he were crossdressed?

[kellycan27]

I've been out of the dating game for several decades now. So I ask. Would you take your grandfather out to eat if he were crossdressed?

Ewwwwwwww I wouldn't "date" my grandfather. People find me weird enough as it is.

[Katesback]

I wrote this post for a couple reasons. One I was I wanted to see what your responses would be. Two I wanted to see if you could critically see the point I was making. Of all the responses I saw only a couple that did see what I wrote.

For clarification. I never said I would not date a CD. I only said it would take some serious thought. Second I said if I was to date a man what I want is a man. Third I said if I did date a CD I would not wish to participate in the trans stuff like shopping, makeup, ect.

We all have a right to choose who we date. Some of us date only Jewish people, some only date black people, some date people that have certain attributes that others dont have. Others choose to date people that exhibit only attributes that are the gender they were born with!

Now any of you that see me as looking down on someone, see me being an eletist, you REALLY lost the point here.

I dont see myself any better than anyone else, also I could care less if someone said they didnt date TS girls. So what!!!!!!!!!!

[DaphneGrey]

I am with Kelly on this, there is no reason for this to be in us against them issue. Dating is personal and who you are attracted to is just that. So Kate is not inclined to date CDs . Who really cares? Is her personal opinion on who she dates that important in the grand scheme of things? I am sure it is important to her and that is all that really matters here.

Is her Op pushing buttons? Of course it is. Probably by design. However if she were answering a question about who she would like to Date , less people would be upset.

I hate the animosity between transexuals and Cds as such I often come to the defense of my transexual friends. But honestly Kate it would be much easier if you posted this opinion without the obvious antogonistic attitude. It is one thing to be honest and true and for that you have my appreciation. Next time you might try a little more tact.

I get what you are saying and you should not be ashamed to say it.

[Krista1985]

Would I date a TS?

Just like you and for many of the same reasons, probably not. In the end it depends upon the person, love can overcome all obstacles.

Would I post a thread on the TS boards about how I would not date a TS woman just because someone somewhere asked me?

No, I think I'd keep it to myself because it's hardly a constructive point. Quite frankly I'm confused about why that information was volunteered when it appears that no one here expressed an interest.

[Deborah Jane]

I wouldn't date a CD or a TS either........Sheila would kill me if i did

[kellycan27]

I wrote this post for a couple reasons. One I was I wanted to see what your responses would be. Two I wanted to see if you could critically see the point I was making. Of all the responses I saw only a couple that did see what I wrote.

For clarification. I never said I would not date a CD. I only said it would take some serious thought. Second I said if I was to date a man what I want is a man. Third I said if I did date a CD I would not wish to participate in the trans stuff like shopping, makeup, ect.

We all have a right to choose who we date. Some of us date only Jewish people, some only date black people, some date people that have certain attributes that others dont have. Others choose to date people that exhibit only attributes that are the gender they were born with!

Now any of you that see me as looking down on someone, see me being an eletist, you REALLY lost the point here.

I dont see myself any better than anyone else, also I could care less if someone said they didnt date TS girls. So what!!!!!!!!!!

While I agree that you have the right to express your opinion I find that doing so in a purposely inflammatory and provocative manner uncalled for.What are we, some kind of science experiment? There is enough dissension between us without someone stirring the pot in order to elicit a response.

[Kate Simmons]

This is one reason I left the TG org I was originally in. Too much damn hierarchy(CD,TS,TG,etc.). I wanted to meet and mingle with people and get to know them as people, not "this", "that" or the "other thing". To me it's the person who is important not their persuasion. We will never get too far as a community unless we get past this stuff, personal feelings notwithstanding.

[DaphneGrey]

I wouldn't date a CD or a TS either........Sheila would kill me if i did

[Katesback]

I forgot to mention I would date a CD WAY before I would date a TS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I should have said that at the beginning. I would also probably date a girl before I dated a boy.

On the other hand I have not been on a date in a good while now and I turn down a lot of offers. People ask my why I dont date. My answer is I like my life simple, I like to not have to deal with other peoples crap, I like riding my motorcycle, going for walks, roller derby, and whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it without EVER having to answer to what, when, where, and why.

KAtie

[skirtsuit]

There goes my plan to ask you out to dinner....

Just out of curiosity, why do you think a regular masc guy would want to date a TS?


All the Best,

Ann