I've seen multiple threads recently regarding marriages ending due to being a crossdresser. Frankly, there's a part of me that is terrified by this. I see marriages of 10, 20, 30 even 40 years being destroyed because a spouse CDs. Even when a spouse was previous 100% supportive, suddenly it's over because the husband crossdresses.

My wife and I have a very deep, very strong love for each other and for our relationship. We treasure what we have, and work on our relationship in some way every day. She's known I crossdress since early on in our relationship. Though, the level to which I crossdressed increased significantly a few years after we married. I never kept any of it secret. Still, she did a 180 on me and rejected my crossdressing. A few months later, things slowly came back around again. Now, she's ashamed of what she did and has profusely apologized, and swears it will never happen again. I accept what she says, believe her and know it won't happen again.

Yet, I fear the mists of the future. What can cause a marriage to crumble after 30 years? 40? 50? I would be devastated if she left. Utterly devastated. We are always looking forward, not at any raging beast chasing us from behind. Yet, I also want to do everything in my power to avoid the marriage crumbling, including from CDing.

Onwards we press, yet there always remains within me nagging doubt about just being with her while crossdressed. How can she accept a man, her man, dressed as a woman? Will this ever flip the balance, cause her to leave? I find it hard to dress in front of her sometimes, wanting to reduce the pressure of crossdressing that she may feel from me.

I wish I could just be happy go lucky, and not have a concern in the world with how much I do or do not crossdress. But, I can't be that way.

I'm not trapped in any sense. Nor am I the slightest bit unhappy with my marriage and this wonderful woman in my life. But, I think for me and maybe for many here, crossdressing is always a source of some pain, some anxiety, despite all the wonderful things it also does for us.

Just putting this out there.