passing is all attitude!

[Dana Jones]

I had planned on going to MAC last night dressed. Unfortunately got out of work late so decided just to get dressed and hit the mall. My makeup didn't please me as it usually does. Could not make it right but it was ok. Out the door in a red mockneck sweater, jeans, my new wool pea coat and sensible burgundy pumps. Well went into Bon Ton. I was nervous, it was quiet except for the couple who spotted me. I hear hey is that... yea! its a guy! Across the womans section! Just as loud, no one around but me but I shot like a scared rabbit. I left and went to dress barn to relax as Dana. I know the girls and they always are so sweet to me. She said who cares what people think, be YOU! YEA!!! So back to Bon Ton! Walked with a new attitude past a ton of people and no one noticed. I asked a SA about using a coupon and no reaction at all.

SO its not all makeup clothes etc... Its your attitude girls! When relaxed, even the guys I passed didn't even look twice. I think I am getting it! I still get nervous but have to just swallow and RELAX!

[DaphneGrey]

I had planned on going to MAC last night dressed. Unfortunately got out of work late so decided just to get dressed and hit the mall. My makeup didn't please me as it usually does. Could not make it right but it was ok. Out the door in a red mockneck sweater, jeans, my new wool pea coat and sensible burgundy pumps. Well went into Bon Ton. I was nervous, it was quiet except for the couple who spotted me. I hear hey is that... yea! its a guy! Across the womans section! Just as loud, no one around but me but I shot like a scared rabbit. I left and went to dress barn to relax as Dana. I know the girls and they always are so sweet to me. She said who cares what people think, be YOU! YEA!!! So back to Bon Ton! Walked with a new attitude past a ton of people and no one noticed. I asked a SA about using a coupon and no reaction at all.

SO its not all makeup clothes etc... Its your attitude girls! When relaxed, even the guys I passed didn't even look twice. I think I am getting it! I still get nervous but have to just swallow and RELAX!

Good for you Dana, I one hundred percent agree. It is all about you being you. Be comfortable and confident and people hardly notice.

[vikki2020]

I could not agree more, but sometimes it's easier said than done. Proper attitude will get you thru just about anything.If you're feeling really good about yourself, even running into jerky people won't effect you.
Anew wool pea coat? Ooohh, that's just whats on my Christmas list!

[MarciManseau]

Here's a good tip, if you think someone doubts that you're a woman, just smile sweetly at them, then look away. Anything else only validates their suspicions.

Hugs, Marci

[docrobbysherry]

Is that "attitude", or simply self " confidence" ?

[Lorileah]

<----100% attitude. Maybe enough to get in trouble.

You handled that well Dana. I might have said to the guy "why honey that didn't bother you last night." But you probably did better, it is hard to runaway even from old people in pumps

[CharleneT]

. . . I might have said to the guy "why honey that didn't bother you last night." But you probably did better, it is hard to runaway even from old people in pumps

_ _

[Kathi Lake]

Attitude, confidence, and a belief that I am doing nothing wrong is what gets me through any situation. I am dressed the way I am because I want to be dressed that way - not because anyone else does. Why should I care about others' opinions?

But your post was about passing. I don't necessarily pass as I am not what one would consider attractive. What I pass as is a person who is supremely confident in what I am doing. I don't skulk. I don't shrink or back down from a rude person. I am me, and if they don't like looking at me, there's plenty of other interesting things to look at.

Kathi

[MarciManseau]

I don't necessarily pass as I am not what one would consider attractive. What I pass as is a person who is supremely confident in what I am doing. I don't skulk. I don't shrink or back down from a rude person. I am me, and if they don't like looking at me, there's plenty of other interesting things to look at.

Kathi

I've seen your album here, and you're really lovely! And you have a nice figure as well, plus you're tall like all the models.

Hugs, Marci

[kellycan27]

I suppose that it all depends on your own personal view of "passing". To me passing is just that.. Not being able to be distinguished as anything but a female. Being clocked from the other side of the woman's department doesn't fit my own definition of passing. Attitude is a great thing to have and certainly helpful if someone wishes to venture out in public dressed as a woman to be sure.It may help you pass "in your own mind",(which is also s great thing), but your attitude isn't going to allow you to truly pass public scrutiny. I think it's wonderful that some one's self confidence and attitude allows them to get out there and express themselves, but it takes much more than that for someone to walk away from you thinking that they just had an encounter with a woman. Yup your attitude is great, and may inspire some to " just do it", but they may be in for a rude awakening. We can bend an stretch the word "passing" to fit our own personal needs, but if we use the literal.....sadly not many are going to be able to pull it off.

[MarciManseau]

I'm guessing you pass easily too, Kelly. I can but it's been a lot of hard work and pharms to get there.

Hugs, Marci

[tricia_uktv]

Absolutelt right. Its confidence, strength and attitude. Strut like you own the place! One other thing helps though. As soon as I started not worrying about whether I passed, I passed far better. Wierd!

[karynspanties]

Well if "passing" means that when someone, be it man or woman, looks at you and does not know your a man dressed as a woman.....then it takes more than attitude. I have seen some gurls here saying that they pass.....and they do not even come close. So I have to disagree. I can pass from a distance, but up close...no way. But I do not let it affect me. I go out enfemme anyways because I am comfy in who I am. BUT I do wish I could completely pass.

[linnea]

ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE! Clothes that fit, well-applied make-up, shape-wear, and a few other things (a lot of other things in my own case) help.

[sherri52]

I agree if you feel good about yourself then you will pass to yourself. What else matters.

[jenna_woods]

yes attiude is importand, and feeling good about your self helps,who care what others think, be your self.

[paulaN]

Myself I like the way Kathi put it.

And to all my sista's out there who want to go out but can't muster the courage. I have to say "Just do it" It's fun! and you most likly won't regret it.

[msginaadoll]

Im not sure passing is any attitude. I Think people may more likely accept you or ignore you if you dont look scared, nervous, etc. That is a whole lot different thatn passing Ive learned. I mean from 100 yards away many of us can pass. Maybe even a 100 feet. But up close and holding a conversation I dont think so. But hey thats ok. Sure losing a bit of weight, maybe a little facial surgery, hormones, and more likely to pass. But of course I could be wrong! Maybe if people dont point and stare, say oh my god thats a tranny, or what is that freak maybe that is passing. Maybe if they call me miss that is. Who's to say since passing is really something that is judged by another person and not myself.

[Dana Jones]

Ok So maybe passing is not the right thing to say, How about not standing out like a guy in a dress! I try to blend. I want people to look twice at least. Not just say yea thats a dude. I try hard and do reasonably well. But a wig is a wig especially on a windy night. I just want to be me with out having a crowd follow me. I AM ME! Now I just have to get over my own fears. Even if I transitioned, and was a female, I might still be read, but does that make me less of a girl? No Pass is correct. I want to pass and be me without a scene!

[Sammy777]

Here is an example in the difference between "passing" and just being accepted/tolerated for who/what you are.

This one store I go to a lot.
I see the same guy that works there almost ever time I'm there.
He has seen me [as a male] 9 out of the last 10 times.
This last [10th] time I was there as Sam.
I knew him, and he knew it was me.
He didn't flinch or say anything but a friendly hello and then went about his job.

That is not passing, that is being accepted and/or tolerated for who you are.
My "attitude" had nothing to do with it.

Just because people don't run after you with torches and pitchforks does not mean you passed [or were taken for] a woman to them.

Confidence and a good healthy attitude about yourself will help you get out the door and through the day. But it will not magically turn you into a woman in the eyes of strangers. Sorry.

[Jodi M]

[QUOTE=Kathi Lake;1957721]Attitude, confidence, and a belief that I am doing nothing wrong is what gets me through any situation. I am dressed the way I am because I want to be dressed that way - not because anyone else does. Why should I care about others' opinions?

Kathi, you are right. It is about attitude, confidence and just being who you are. When I am out I try to make the transition to girl in my mind. 95% of the time I am not a confrontational person but if someone gave me grief about my appearance I don't know if I could resist telling them to kiss my "rosy red"(oops Christian girls don't say things like that).
By the way don't sell your self short, I think you look quite attractive in your photos!

[Rogina B]

Present your best and have a thick skin! No drama as in teenage girls surrounding you and all pointing and laughing or the whack jobs running for their torches and pitchforks. Our Tamara has coined a term that best described what some of us hope to aspire to.."apparently female". "Looks like one,acts like one,so it must be one...not polite to stare,anyway".

[Dana Jones]

"Our Tamara has coined a term that best described what some of us hope to aspire to.."apparently female". "Looks like one,acts like one,so it must be one...not polite to stare,anyway".



PERFECT!!! I am going with this!

[Dr.Susan]

I suppose that it all depends on your own personal view of "passing". To me passing is just that.. Not being able to be distinguished as anything but a female. Being clocked from the other side of the woman's department doesn't fit my own definition of passing. Attitude is a great thing to have and certainly helpful if someone wishes to venture out in public dressed as a woman to be sure.It may help you pass "in your own mind",(which is also s great thing), but your attitude isn't going to allow you to truly pass public scrutiny. I think it's wonderful that some one's self confidence and attitude allows them to get out there and express themselves, but it takes much more than that for someone to walk away from you thinking that they just had an encounter with a woman. Yup your attitude is great, and may inspire some to " just do it", but they may be in for a rude awakening. We can bend an stretch the word "passing" to fit our own personal needs, but if we use the literal.....sadly not many are going to be able to pull it off.

How right you are.

[Spacey]

I pass at home in front of the mirror. I'm easily fooled though. I don't know if I would be passable in the real world. It all depends on way too many variables. We could pass to one person and not the other, it's never general. The only way to know is if you surprised an individual. What you definitely have is amazing confidence! Something I need. Keep it up!