Does your wife/SO accept your CD and if so how long did it take

[TabbyJames]

Just curious about the stories you all have about how your wife/SO handles your dressing, what the "rules are", and how long it took her to accept your girlish beauty, if she has?

[Karren H]

No.... and I seriously dowubt no mater how many lifetimes you can add in she will ever accept it..

[Angelofsomekind]

We were engaged, about to close on a house, I knew I had to tell her before we got the house. I tried several times, I'd have it right there on the tip of my tongue and then I'd stop and think about what I was going to say and it sounded so stupid in my head, I couldn't get it out.

Then one night we got a call from the realtor with a counter offer, I hung up with her and my fiancee at the time says she found some panties in my closet, what's up with that. So I felt since it's out there, I have to tell her. I did, and it didn't seem to go very well. She cried, didn't know what to do. She said she was going to come back the next night and we would talk. That next day was probably the longest day of my life! She came back and we sat down and talked, she had a list of questions for me and wanted to see all my clothes. At first she was afraid that she would come home one day and I'd be dressed up and she wouldn't know what to do. She didn't really seem to want anything to do with it. But I was ok with that, I would keep it seperate. For a while it seemed everytime we would talk on the phone she would joke about it, but when we were togeather she was uncomfortable talking about it, I pointed that out and she noticed it to.

I don't know the exact timetable but eventually she asked to see some pictures of me dressed, so I showed her. A while later she asked to see me dressed. At that point she said it was no big deal, it's still just me but in different clothes.

It has been about 4 years since then, I think, and now if I'm not wearing some article of women's clothes she gives me a dissapointed look. We went to Be All the last two years, before the first one she said she was worried that she was going to miss me. About a week after Be All she said she missed Brit.

[gennee]

[SIZE="4"]My wife is accepting up to a point. We share so clothes but she won't go out with me when I'm dressed. Someday maybe.


Gennee[/SIZE]

[kathyw]

texas will have to freeze up before my wife will let me dress. she get mad everytime i ask for adress.

[KarenCDFL]

I told my wife of 14 years 3 months into the relationship. She had no clue of what it was all about but being the person she is and having Internet Access (this was 16 years ago) she learned all about it and we come to a successful resolution of this is who I am and we loved each other so it has been wonderful!

[ikatrina]

Told my wife (obviously then GF) within the first couple days we met during a 5-6 hour phone call. She took it in stride and wasn't bothered at all by it. A lot of that understanding was probably due to my mutual understanding of a rare female medical condition that she has. We both had our individual "oddities" that the other understood and accepted. We jokingly call each other "freaks"

She has always "participated" in my dressing from buying me everything you can imagine to all sorts of interesting bedroom activities. We share the clothing that we can and have girlfriend nights often....chick flicks, painting each others nails, card readings etc. The other day while getting ready for work she asked if I had an extra pair pantyhose that she could use......for some strange reason that felt quite good.

I've had the "pink fog" feeling more and more lately and she completely understands my desire and has said that she doesn't mind if I dress up every day or evening if I need/want to. The only caveat she has was that if my dressing ever expands into something more and I felt like I needed to live as a woman then we "needed to have another talk". Obviously, she wants to keep the husband she married....even if I wear a skirt a large percentage of time. Like many of us, I've thought about being a woman but realistically she doesn't have anything to worry about.....and she knows that.

She's explained to me that she has her own internal struggles about my dressing that are like my own. She's attracted to the muscular male me while undressed and desires a smaller me when dressed. Similarly, society "says" that as the male me I should be muscular while the female me wants to look more feminine and fit into sexy outfits. We're working on a balance that works for both of us.

[SusanMarie]

My SO accepts, supports and participates...
In fact, she accepted right away...
She knew about my femme side long before I understood it.

[DiannaRose]

She doesn't accept it, and I doubt she ever will. I re-told her recently, 25 years into our relationship, 21 into our marriage. I told her before we got serious, but back then I though it was something I could stop, so I told her I wouldn't do it any more. That didn't work out. Tried several times to tell her after that, but she would give me hints that this was something with which she couldn't handle, so I buried it down again. Then, recently, she was ggoing through a crisis of her own, about which she was being killer open and honest with me. So this secret I've been carrying around with me starts eating away at me ("She's being so open, you scumbag...you need to be open with her!" said I to myself.) I held it in as long as I could, but in the end I just broke. And by telling her, I nearly broke her. She really can't handle it.

We have our first couples counseling appointment next week, with a counselor who's been dealing with the LGBT community for 20 years, including many situations like ours. I'm praying every minute that God will help us work things out, but I have little hope without His intervention. I know for a fact I want more than she's going to be able to give. Not "willing"..."able". So if I end up agreeing to abide by her terms (which right now include keeping it secret, never letting her know about it, never letting her find out about it, probably never going out in public dressed, even to a local, safe CD event, no wig, no leg-shaving, essentially no Dianna, except for a few minutes (literally!) whenever I'm alone in the house long enough to make any difference...which is rare), I think I'm going to break again. I can't keep it all buried inside any more.

So we'll see how this therapist works out! Keep your fingers crossed and your prayers winging!

[Alicia_lynn419]

Angelofsomekind.. that is a wonderful and encouraging story!

[CherylFlint]

Ha! My SO thinks I'll "out grow it".

[TabbyJames]

I asked this question to get a feel for what others have experienced. I have been married for 11 years to a wonderful and supportive wife who I adore. she only found out about my "secret" last valentines day when she found panties in our bed at our cabin, of course I had to come clean. Since then, she has been very tolerent (I wouldn't say supportive) of my desires to CD, I have always been an underdresser (secretly) and she accepts that every day now, I wear lingerie to bed almost every night and that too seems to be ok. I spent years wearing her clothes (secretly) when she was on business trips. Recently, I went out and bought my own, skirts, dresses, tunics, blouses, etc... and told her about it (I already own more intimate apperal than almost any GG owns). Now she is really confused... and I understand. Where does it end, she askes. What about the kids? Our friends? Our family? Are you going to dress in front of them? Do you want to go out as a woman? Make-up, wigs, shoes...? DO YOU WANT TO BE A WOMAN?

UGGHH! I just don't know. I do know however that she will be there, accepting whatever it is I choose to become, and for that I feel extremely fortunate. Perhaps someday she might go beyond tolerence and support it (ie. all I want for christmas is that beautiful pair of pumps over there. and that stunning red dress. and that awsome skirt. and those shinny chandelier earings. and the necklace). To hell with the power tools.

[ikatrina]

I'm very glad that you have a wife that is tolerant and is growing into a supportive role.

I'm also quite sorry for those of you that can't tell your SOs or have and aren't supported. Along those line and as a continuing thought to my above entry....

Being open/honest and supportive of each other (for us) has only advantages and no disadvantages.

We're more feeling, accepting and open to each others needs.
There are NO secrets between us.
We can explore and discuss our various sexual fantasies without concern what the other is going to think.
We can openly discuss all life goals without having to keep things from the other.
She always has a close girlfriend to discuss anything and everything.
It makes us both happy, which makes the household happy and therefore life generally is less stressful.
I can go on but you get the just of it.....

My wife and I are in our mid-30's.....there seems to be a correlation between SO acceptance and age groups. To me, on average it looks like younger couples are more open to CDing while "older" couples appear to be less accepting. What do you think? Could it be MTV

[Rebecca Jayne]

and the jury is hung "[SIZE="4"]L[/SIZE]^&%$#@)?"&^%"

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Ah, went to her before I started dressing with the hey Hon, you know what I'd like to try and do???? from that point let's just say it's been one wild and crazy 20 months...

I have no idea where it stand from moment to moment....there's ups and there are definate "downs" as well...a lot of it depends on her mood at the given moment...

But we go shopping together for clothes for both us girls... gone and had pedicures together and we both got our nails painted...I can go out dressed to clubs by myself and that's not an issue....she gets to go out to her clubs with her GF's...

She sometimes buys me little things on a spur....

So???? Who knows....but we've spit up for awhile and I even moved out of state...that last 10 days before she called....

Anyway, play it by ear one day at a time....

[lowlavalentine]

Not a chance....regardless of the time frame. I have to give her credit; after she recovered from the shock, she tried, she really tried. But despite her effort my softer side remains a distasteful problem in her eyes.

[PretzelGirl]

My wife has pretty much been along for the ride. There have been times I pushed it forward faster than she was probably thinking I should and other times I tried to keep the status quo as I perceived she needed things to stabilize.

Along the way, she had her boundaries. Or at least they were ones I perceived. As time went on, I learned that some weren't real and others just melted away.

So now I am at the point where I am ready to do the things I never thought I would with the capper being going out. How does she feel about it? She is fully supportive and even tells me that some things aren't a big deal. A week after I had a foundation match, we went by the store and she asked the SA how much a make-up lesson would be. That one sure caught me off-guard. She does surprise me a lot here. That is one of the reasons why I take things a step at a time, to ensure I stay within her comfort zone. I am beginning to think I can't get out of her comfort zone without blowing through mine first.

You can't predict how anyone will react. There are so many things in play here, you just have to be loving and supportive and don't push it while she is working though things. It may come quick or it may take time, so be patient if needed.

[Sandra]

I have been married for 11 years to a wonderful and supportive wife who I adore. she only found out about my "secret" last valentines day

See you have had a long time getting used to this and she's had what, 10 months,. Dont expect her to be all happy and having a great time with it all.

Recently, I went out and bought my own, skirts, dresses, tunics, blouses, etc... and told her about it (I already own more intimate apperal than almost any GG owns). Now she is really confused... and I understand. Where does it end, she askes. What about the kids? Our friends? Our family? Are you going to dress in front of them? Do you want to go out as a woman? Make-up, wigs, shoes...? DO YOU WANT TO BE A WOMAN?

Maybe if you'd talked to her about buying all the stuff first then she might be a little less confused, and may have offered to help you.

Have you sat down and really had a good talk with her about how you feel and what the dressing means to you?

Support, acceptance very rarely comes over night, it takes time and even then in some case it never happens....but talk try taking to her but dont' overload her.....

you could also suggest that she join the forum and chat with other wives/partners in the FAB forum we have.

Just wanted to add, I've been married to Nigella for 22 years and knew about her cding 6 months after we got married..it took me quite a few years to become totally supportive.

[TerriM]

Im married 37yrs. I told my wife about 27yrs ago. Shock is putting it mildly of her reacton. To this day she hasnt seen me dressed. But i get out about 1x a month. Go away for about 4 days on femme getaway and hang some of our things in our closet. I consider myself lucky.

Yours Terri

[Mary Jane]

My wife TOLERATES mt dressing and that is better than nothing. No chance of her ever accepting it.

[glynnis]

Im very lucky my wife totally accepts me dressed.Buys me clothes and makeup.Encourages me to go out dressed,although I only go out in the car sometimes.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

It took my wife who was my girlfriend at the time about 1 week before she actually wanted to see "Jocelyn" live and in color. As far as current rules there really arent any being that my fem side is such a norm and non issue compared to other things in our marriage and a lot of self imposed restrictions and common sense on my part.

[abigailf]

It still upsets my wife. However, she is trying. She buys me things. Let’s me dress up at home as long as nobody is around. We shop together (when I am in male mode). She is even willing to go out with me dressed.

The thing that bothers her the most is someone we know finding out. That is her biggest fear. My cavalier attitude about that subject does not help matters.

[Josey]

As I have stated on many occasions my wife has been supportive over our many years together. Have never been asked why I enjoy CDing but have received support necessary to continue my indulgence. I consider myself a really lucking person to have found her/

[susan2010]

I've told most of this story in other posts.
Wife had been fairly accepting of some mild dressing (panties) as sex play before and during marriage, but that ended years ago. When I wanted to do more dressing, she demanded I stop completely. I tried and couldn't stop. We are working on legal separation right now.
I wonder if it would have been different if I had been completely honest about myself before we married. I THINK the answer is no; she became more conservative and less tolerant as years passed. BTW: Therapy did not save the marriage: therapist urged her to be more accepting and compromise: she refused.
PS: Cd is not the only issue, but I think the marriage would have survived other difficulties.