Last Kathi Shopping Post of 2009!

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, where has the time gone? It seems just like yesterday that I was a little hermit dressing in my basement and too afraid to go out into the big, bad world that hated me and all my kind (snicker). Gee, as old as I am, it essentially was yesterday! I didn't really start going out until this year. Wow, hard to believe, isn't it? I credit the massive brain injury for my new boldness. Of course, I don't remember any brain injury, but maybe that's just part of the whole brain injury thing going on, right? It's got to be something!

My Ulta buddies and I tried so hard to get together this week, but it never happened. One has been having health problems, another had to work for the one that was out sick, one had nail appointments yesterday (she does nails in her home), and another had to help her daughter. Sigh. At least no one gave me the excuse I always got in High School - that they were washing their hair. After I had a little fashion show for some of them after my shopping trip, and they saw all the pretty things I bought yesterday, they renewed their vows that we would have plenty of girly shopping days in the months to come.

My day started early with a mani/pedi at home. I was going for low-key, so I used OPI's Dulce de Leche as my polish for both fingers and toes. It gives your nails a nice healthy glow, with a hint of girly sparkle! I then re-epilated, to make sure my legs were as smooth as possible. Sue is right, after the first time, it gets easier and less painful. Now if only I could stop some of the hairs from tunneling under my skin for about an inch!

I then attached my forms, added a bra and hose and put on my skinny jeans and my new sweater dress. It is incredibly cute and wayyyy too young for me. Hey, as long as I have this freakish body that looks like an 18 year-old girl (an 18 year-old Ethiopian girl on a one-bean-a-day diet ), I'm gonna dress like one! I then had a nice close shave and started on my makeup. I went with more Fall-ish colors for my eyes - honey-golds and gray-browns to go with my outfit. I think they turned out pretty cute! I also tried out a new mascara recommended by my Ulta friends - Lash DNA from Smashbox. It's one of the nicer one that I have tried. Not a lot of clumping, dries quickly, and defines and lengthens wonderfully!

After a quick brushout of my wig, and some last-minute touchups, I headed out to my favorite mirror (it really is my favorite. I've even given it a name - "The Pretty-Maker" because even I look cute in it ), smiled at myself, told myself I was pretty, did my lipgloss and I was out the door, pumped full of girly adrenaline! Once again, does this not rock, or what - this wonderful thing we get to do. We get to not just reject society's gender norms, we get to shatter them! The ability of us - mere guys - to go out into the world dressed in heels and perfume and silks, it is one our greatest gifts, I feel.

So, as my wallet was feeling hungry, I went off to the bank for some shopping funds. Wow, when I walked in, it was busy! Plenty of waiting in line being stared at. Oh yay. Still, I got a cheery hello from the teller girls. When I finally got to the counter, she waved me away and said to turn around. I did a cute twirl for her. She then said, Oh, I hate you so much, girl! I hope you break a leg out there on the ice you skinny little thing." I raised my eyebrows in surprise. She said, "Oh, don't worry. That's just how we girls talk to each other. You really look stunning today, cutie. I love the dress!" I thanked her and we talked for awhile while she typed away and accessed my account. She handed the money over and I walked off to a chorus of "Have fun." One of them whistled. I laughed and added a little more shimmy to my shake. They cracked up and I was out the door.

Next stop, Ulta, where I wanted to show the ones not able to go shopping what they were missing. I got plenty of "You suck!" and other nice things flung my way. They asked me what I was shopping for and I told them that I was looking for a pair of slouchy brown boots to go with my more casual looks, the black dress I tried on last time, and anything else that looked pretty. "Oh my gosh," one of them said, "You are totally a trophy wife - gorgeous and totally spoiled! I bet you have a convertible VW Bug, right Barbie?" We laughed at that and I told them that I was spoiled. I have a wonderful life, a great family, a job that I love, and the ability to dress like I was and go out and have fun. They agreed that I did have a pretty sweet setup. One of the newer ones asked me how my wife felt about seeing me dressed as a woman. As usual, I turned it into a question and asked her what she would do if her husband dressed like I was. She said, "If he looked as hot as you did in a dress, I would never let him dress like a boy again!" Wow, I love my wife, but where was she about 21 years ago? Diapers, most likely.

On my way out the door, I got spritzed with the manager's newest favorite fragrance - something by Ed Hardy (can't remember the name). It was sweet, but not too sweet, but with a clean finish and a hint of citrus. Very pretty!

I was then off to DSW to try on some boots. I'll gab about that in the next post. I kind of like these multi-post posts as they can break my long-winded writing style down into more manageable chunks. I do try to condense (honest!), but sometimes I can't help it. Believe me, if I wrote down everything that happened, we would be here all day.

Kathi

[Maija]

Oh sure, all that and no pictures.
Maybe next time.

[Persephone]

"Oh my gosh," one of them said, "You are totally a trophy wife - gorgeous and totally spoiled! I bet you have a convertible VW Bug, right Barbie?"

OMG, Kathi, I think she has nailed you! Best comment ever!!!

By the way, when you do decide to get that cute pink convertible VW bug, you'll need a license plate frame like the one I have, "I Wanna Be Barbie . . . The Doll Has It All."

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Sara Jessica]

No, not the last one of the year!!! OK, I guess we're getting close to the end. I still might have one or two more left in me .

What a fun read Kathi, it truly brought a smile to my face. Where I'm bold enough, heck...you're walking out the front door in girl mode and then you go to the bank...I'm not worthy! I really liked the trophy wife comment as well, how fun is that. Now bring on the rest of the tale!!!

[Kathi Lake]

Oh sure, all that and no pictures.
Maybe next time.

Oh, there will be pictures this time - promise!

OMG, Kathi, I think she has nailed you! Best comment ever!!!

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Still, who wouldn't want to be a trophy wife, where your biggest decisions are colors - what color lipstick you're going to use this morning, what color negligee you're going to wear tonight, what color you're going to get your nails done in next week, what color your new car will be next month, . . .

No, not the last one of the year!!! OK, I guess we're getting close to the end. I still might have one or two more left in me .

What a fun read Kathi, it truly brought a smile to my face. Where I'm bold enough, heck...you're walking out the front door in girl mode and then you go to the bank...I'm not worthy! I really liked the trophy wife comment as well, how fun is that. Now bring on the rest of the tale!!!

Now now, girl, you're not exactly a shrinking violet yourself. As for the rest of the tale, stay tuned. It's going to be a busy weekend for me, so it'll come in fits and starts, but it will come. Here's some now:

I forgot. In the last post I said DSW was my next stop, but instead, at the suggestion from one of my friends, I went to Rue 21 - kind of a clothing store for younger, hipper people. I normally don't count myself among that group, but as I'm trying to branch out in my clothing choices, I thought it was worth a look.

I walked in to the usual loud music common to stores for this target demographic. Right off, I saw the perfect belt on a mannequin. The two guys working in the store noticed me and said hello, but kept their distance. I looked around for the belt but didn't find it. I asked one of the guys; he was almost ready to pass out, it seemed, but we looked where it should be. We found two others, but in size large. We went back to the mannequin, and it was a small. Yay! I tried it on and it went perfect with my dress. In my looking around, I saw a really cute scarf. It was black with fringe on the ends, and pretty sparkly threads running through it. Not too much, but just the right amount. Once again, we couldn't find it anywhere, except on the mannequin - hanging 10 feet in the air. I asked him again and he said, "Ummmmm, I'm not sure. Let me get my manager" in a almost squeaking pubescent tones of voice that said, "I'm really, really nervous right now." The manager came and was totally cool with me. He brought the mannequin down, unwound the scarf and presented it to me with a flourish. I took the purchases up, paid for them and left (after trying the belt on again. It is really cute!).

I walked into DSW and went straight for the boots. I walked around for awhile before a male SA asked if he could help me. I told him that I was on the prowl for brown boots. I saw a few pair, but nothing really said "grab me!" so I went in the back of the store to their clearance area. That was the busiest part of the store. Browsing the racks, I got a few smiles from the women, and a whistle from a guy. I'm sure he was joking and/or trying to rattle me, but I didn't pay attention. Seeing nothing back there, I went back up front. A new SA was now in the boot area and asked if she could help me. As I got closer to her, she said, "Oh! You're the one he was talking about. He was right, you're cute!" I thanked her and said I was looking for a pair of brown boots, but I only saw a few pair. She agreed that brown didn't seem to be around much this year. She said that black would work with my outfit, without the belt, of course, and thy had a lot more styles online. We tried on about five pair of boots. She was very complimentary on both how I looked and the fact that I could walk in high heels. I said if I could then she certainly could. She said that her bunions prevented her from heels anymore, but told me to enjoy them for her. One time, as I walked the 20 yards or so to the full-length mirror (the one-foot high shoe mirrors are great for pumps, but you really need a full-length when trying on boots), "The Whistler" struck again. This time I turned to face him. He smiled at me, I smiled at him, his wife looked at us both and hit him in the shoulder and they returned to their shopping.

By this time, another female SA had joined the party. She found a few more pair and we tried them on. She offered to trade legs with me anytime and complimented me on my jeans. That started a conversation on jeans. The first SA said that she was 43 and had just gotten her first "big girl" pair of jeans - a pair of True Religion - and her first big girl purse. She said she loved my jeans and asked what kind they were (Silver). She said that she wished that she looked as good in jeans as I did. I told her that she had no worries, that I was still a guy under all this makeup, and that she looked very good in her jeans.

Our talk of purses reminded me that I wanted to find my own purse. My wife has an amazing collection of D&B purses (her weakness), but I wanted one of my own. We went over to the purse area. I saw one that was really cute. It was a dark mustard yellow. In clothing, I don't like that color much, although it was trendy, but as an accent piece, like a purse, it would be cute. It was a bit small as I was looking for a purse, and not a clutch. We searched around, them bringing me different purses, and we finally found a very cute one. It's color is hard to describe - not too pink, not too burgundy, not too red - but a combo of all those colors. It was a winner, so I took it up front and paid. They said that they had fun and I should come again. I assured them that I definitely would.

Now, it was time to drive to Salt Lake and to my first stop - Dillard's. They have an amazing shoe department, with friendly SAs that have never batted an eye at how I am presenting. I walked in and started browsing. Two SAs immediately zeroed in on me. I watched them do their unspoken "I saw her first" "Well I got here first" dance until one girl won. I told her that I was looking for some brown boots to go with the outfit I was wearing. She looked at me, her eyes got wide and she said "I love that dress! You look really cute in it" and we started on The Great Boot Hunt. Finally, selection! There were about 10 pairs of brown boots. She asked my size, asked what styles I liked and went into the back. As I was walking around, one lady asked if I was trying on the shoes I was wearing (a pair of Anne Klein cutaway black 3" pumps), because they were gorgeous and just what she was looking for. I told her that I had bought them a few weeks ago at DSW. She again said how fabulous they looked and went back to her shopping. By this time, the SA had returned with the boxes. It was now time for a shoe-tryon marathon! I love the sight of shoe boxes and tissue paper everywhere! I also love the looks the other women were giving me - almost a mix of jealousy and "How dare you intrude on our inner sanctum?" Ah well, they'll get over it.

We finally found a winner in a pair of caramel brown cuffed boots. Not coincidentally, they went perfectly with the belt I had bought earlier. As I walked around the store, I got a few looks from a girl that, well, looked as if she just dropped in from the carnival - leather leggings, sequins everywhere, hair at least three different primary colors, lots of makeup. She looked at me, came over and said that she had seen lots of other guys dress up, but I took it to a whole new level. She also loved the boots. I thanked her, and on her recommendation, bought the boots. I decided to wear them out of the store. I went into the ladies room, put on my belt and took a picture. I then went to my next stop - Talbots. I'll continue it in the next post. Below are two pictures - one in the ladies room (sorry for the quality - the flash went off and I had to Photoshop the toilet out ) and one in Talbots of my shopping outfit.

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

As I got closer to her, she said, "Oh! You're the one he was talking about. He was right, you're cute!"

Gee, I'm not surprised you heard that. Seems I have heard that about you before.....

Interesting you went to DSW as I wanted to go yesterday to get.....boots. But family things overrode that and then I saw your post. Coincidence???

So my question before I go on the hunt is does this one store carry 12s?

And I have to say, that belt and boot combo is a great choice.

[SuzanneBender]

We need to go shopping together. Between you and I we could provide plenty of economic stimulation and have a great day doing it. You also wouldn't have to take pictures in a mirror. Although, yours look fabulous.

Oh, there will be pictures this time - promise!

Still, who wouldn't want to be a trophy wife, where your biggest decisions are colors - what color lipstick you're going to use this morning, what color negligee you're going to wear tonight, what color you're going to get your nails done in next week, what color your new car will be next month, . . .

What a life! My new goal is to be one of the stars of the Real Transgendered Housewives of YouNameThe County. We could co-star.

I went to Rue 21 - kind of a clothing store for younger, hipper people. I normally don't count myself among that group, but as I'm trying to branch out in my clothing choices, I thought it was worth a look.

Two of my faves are Rue 21 and Charlotte Russe. Great outfits at a fair price. My problem is I always feel like someones mom in those stores. Last time I was in Charlotte Russe I had three college age women rally to my aid to help me pick shoes for an outfit I was buying. One of them actually told me I looked like her mom. I didn't know how to take that......

He said, "Ummmmm, I'm not sure. Let me get my manager" in a almost squeaking pubescent tones of voice that said, "I'm really, really nervous right now."

This is where you and I differ. The smartypants gal in me could not pass up an opening like this. I would have quipped back with something like, "You should be afraid. The virus that causes crossdressing is very contageous." or something as simple as, "Why are you too afraid of heights to climb up their and get that scarf."

Girl we should proudly award you the 2009 Transgendered Shopper of the Year Award. The rest of the year is not going to be as bright without the possibility of the latest Kathi Lake tale of your patronage of the retail industry.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I have gone shopping quite abit the past few days and couple of weeks...and this voice inside me keeps saying Kathi would buy this or Kathi would think it was cute and get it....plus look at all the SA'a who I can become friends with....

Un huh!!! But that's my story and I'm stickin to it....

[ChastityInFemme]

I read through both of your posts and enjoy these kinds of stories. I imagine someday I'll gain the guts to go out en femme and shop all day. Before I was injured, I bought some women's items; shoes, pantyhose, and underwear.

Something I enjoyed about your story, or your attitude specifically, is that you dont give a damn what other people think. You are an idol for some of us, living without fear of ridicule from other people.

This is where you and I differ. The smartypants gal in me could not pass up an opening like this. I would have quipped back with something like, "You should be afraid. The virus that causes crossdressing is very contageous." or something as simple as, "Why are you too afraid of heights to climb up their and get that scarf."

that would've been something i said too. Humor always relaxes a situation.

[Sara Jessica]

Well look at you, all perfectly accessorized!!! You certainly have style, flair and know how to put it all together.

As for the purse thing, my wife has a bunch as well, mostly Coach but a couple D&B and even a (ooooooh) LV. Of course I'd raid her collection whenever I went out. But once I bought my very own Coach, I haven't touched any of hers since. Save your pennies, perhaps when the stars converge and you and I take over a mall, there might be a Coach preferred shopper event going on !!!

[Kristy 56]

Just love your posts Kathi. You always have so much fun ,and your descriptions make me feel like I'm there too! An inspiration to us all.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Well look at you, all perfectly accessorized!!! You certainly have style, flair and know how to put it all together.

She looks faboo, the accessorizing is perfect.

Veronica Rogers

[Kathi Lake]

Like I said, it's been a busy weekend. My wife and I spent most of yesterday making candy centers and dipping chocolates. 10 pounds of dipping chocolate later and we have a house full of yummies, ready to be given away.

I'll try to answer a few of the question I have received so far and work on the next "installment" of my final 2009 shopping tale.

So my question before I go on the hunt is does this one store carry 12s?

No sure. I have seen some size 11's, but usually I see the 9 1/2 or 10 and stop looking.

We need to go shopping together. Between you and I we could provide plenty of economic stimulation and have a great day doing it.

Hey, I'm always up for a little (or even a whole lot) of shopping. Bring it on!

My new goal is to be one of the stars of the Real Transgendered Housewives of YouNameThe County. We could co-star.

Interesting concept. If it was on Lifetime, they would probably turn it into a sappy tear-jerker. In real life, the only tears that would be shed are from those that weren't able to shop with us.

This is where you and I differ. The smartypants gal in me could not pass up an opening like this. I would have quipped back with something like, . . .

Yes, humor can be good for defusing a situation, but I also want to show people that we are normal human beings. Antagonizing the poor dear wouldn't help that.

I have gone shopping quite a bit the past few days and couple of weeks...and this voice inside me keeps saying Kathi would buy this or Kathi would think it was cute and get it....plus look at all the SA'a who I can become friends with...

Sherry, please don't take this the wrong way, but get your own style, girl! Don't think what I would get, think what Sherry would get. By all means, of course, be sure to show us the pictures all after you're done so we can see how pretty it is.

Something I enjoyed about your story, or your attitude specifically, is that you dont give a damn what other people think.

Like I said, I credit the brain injury for the lack of inhibitions. Honestly though, it all comes down to this; the only thing holding yourself back from experiencing all of the fun life has to offer is yourself. Slap yourself upside the head until you give in and realize you are who you are and no one can make you feel bad about that - as long as you have first accepted yourself.

Well look at you, all perfectly accessorized!!! You certainly have style, flair and know how to put it all together.

Oh Sara, a compliment from you really makes me feel nice and warm. I honestly look up to your fashion-sense and overall girliness.

Save your pennies, perhaps when the stars converge and you and I take over a mall, there might be a Coach preferred shopper event going on !!!

It's a date! Can you imagine a mall with the two of us in it at the same time? Mothers, watch your daughters! No, not for that reason, but because we may just trip whoever tries to get that last perfect dress in our size!

She looks faboo, the accessorizing is perfect.

Veronica Rogers

Another Fashionista to whom I look up to. Thanks for the compliments, Veronica!

[Kathi Lake]

After walking around the Fashion Place Mall for a bit in my new boots, I stopped across the street at Talbots to see if my favorite bubbly Latina SA was there as I had missed her the last few trips. As I walked in the door, who should be straightening out the blouses near the front of the store? Yep! She called me by my guy name and said "Get over here, sweety!" I walked over and she gave me a hug. She took both of my hands in hers and stepped back. "Oh, look at you, all pretty in brown. You look so gorgeous! Like you stepped off the cover of a magazine!" she said. As she was gushing, I noticed a few new developments, first, she wasn't nearly as "flat" as she usually bemoaned. Second, I saw the reason - she was about 5 months pregnant! I wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to bring it up in a "professional" situation.

She started taking me around the store and showing me all of the new stuff. They had a stunning floor-length tartan plaid skirt that would look absolutely stunning with my black turtleneck and a strand of pearls. Unfortunately, the smallest size they had it in was a 12. Gulp! We also noticed a beautiful suit - very Chanel - in a black waffle-textured fabric with a lacy fringe around the edges. The jacket was a bit much, but I really liked the skirt. Yeah, just what I need - another black skirt. Still, it doesn't hurt to try something on! She started a room for me and I browsed around some more. She came back and said they had just gotten a new jacket in and she thought of me when she saw it. Yes, I know, I speak SA. Still, it's possible that she was honestly telling the truth. I've been there enough times that she knows my styles, my preferences, my sizes - or so I thought. As she showed me the jacket and watched my jaw drop and my brain get all fuzzy from thinking of myself in it ("See? I told you you'd like it" she gloated), she said, "Let me get one down for you. You're a size 2, right?" Then she said, Oh, wait. That's right, because of your shoulders, you're more of a 6. It's your tiny little butt that's a size 0 or 2, right? You'll have to forgive me, this far in my pregnancy, I'm finding it hard to think." I then knew that I could finally mention it since she "broke the news." I congratulated her on her great news, and we spent the next five minutes talking about her changes. It never ceases to amaze me how open women can be when talking to me about everything from, . . . ummmm . . . discharge to bloating to breast enlargement (both the natural and "assisted" kind) to all of the interesting changes during pregnancy. It's funny as they sometimes catch themselves mid-dish and remember that I'm a guy. Sometimes they get embarrassed, sometimes they keep forging ahead.

Anyway, she showed me back to the room where she had put the jacket and skirt, and a silver-gray scarf, which I used as a blouse. I changed and loved the skirt. The jacket was a bit large. She did some calling and the closest place that had it in a 6 was in Colorado. Sigh. It is pretty. The picture here doesn't do it justice (nor does the subject matter) - it really is pretty.

As I said, I already have enough black skirts, so I bid my friend adieu for now and wished her well on her pregnancy. We hugged again (you know what? Guys don't hug nearly enough!) and I was off to my next stop - White House/Black Market where I was planning on getting The Dress. Over the last year, WH/BM has developed into my favorite store - not just for the clothing, but for the friendships I have made there. So, tomorrow I will add the last part or two to my tale, and have plenty of pictures to go along with it. Hope you're enjoying it so far!

Kathi

[Persephone]

As always, it is such great fun to go vicariously shopping with you!

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Still, who wouldn't want to be a trophy wife, where your biggest decisions are colors - what color lipstick you're going to use this morning, what color negligee you're going to wear tonight, what color you're going to get your nails done in next week, what color your new car will be next month, . . .

Oh girl, I do think you are missing the really tough, stress-filled job of a trophy wife, and that is keeping her job!

Her husband is a guy who dumped Wife #1 because she wasn't as pretty and because she was getting older. Now she's Wife #2 (or #3 or #4), facing competition from younger and ever prettier girls while she is getting older by the minute . . .

Like a divorced friend of mine says, "I've gotta find a new guy before I lose my pretty."

So no, no, it isn't all getting your nails done and getting new cars and jewels. It is constant stress, constant suspicion, and, yes, constant fear.

As she was gushing, I noticed a few new developments, forst, she wasn't nearly as "flat" as she usually bemoaned. Second, I saw the reason - she was about 5 months pregnant! I wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to bring it up in a "professional" situation.
. . .
It never ceases to amaze me how open women can be when talking to me about everything from, . . . ummmm . . . discharge to bloating to breast enlargement (both the natural and "assisted" kind) to all of the interesting changes during pregnancy. It's funny as they sometimes catch themselves mid-dish and remember that I'm a guy. Sometimes they get embarrassed, sometimes they keep forging ahead.

Yeah, that's definitely a dicey one, even for women. If she hasn't said it, should you say it first?

As to the free discussion, you are so right -- when they started they totally forgot that you weren't another woman, then, urp! what did I just do? Was I really talking to a man about discharge???

Perhaps you can come up with some transition line? Something with a smile and reassurance that you're a sort of surrogate girl?

Eagerly looking forward to the next part!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Kathi Lake]

As always, it is such great fun to go vicariously shopping with you!

I just have so much fun getting out there that I have to share. Glad it's not a "burden" to you and that you enjoy it!

Oh girl, I do think you are missing the really tough, stress-filled job of a trophy wife, and that is keeping her job!

Ah, so that's why I see them in the gym 24/7! That would be stressful, and sounds like it would last about 5-10 years -but what a fun 5-10 years, eh?

Perhaps you can come up with some transition line? Something with a smile and reassurance that you're a sort of surrogate girl?

Usually they do, by saying something along the lines of "Oh, it's OK. We're all girls here" or "You're one of the girls" if they know me, or "Well, if you're going to be a girl, you're going to have to learn this stuff" if they don't and think I'm transitioning or something.

Thanks for the comments, Persephone. Always nice to hear from you!

And now, here's something we hope you'll really like!

Once again, the parking lot was full. I had to park about 50 yards away from WH/BM. It's OK though. As I walk along, interacting with the public, I never mind the glances, the stares, . . . the guys on ladders almost dropping their cordless drills on me as they look at me in slack-jawed amazement (whether it's good amazement or bad, I don't worry about it - the effect I was going for was accomplished ). It's OK, by the way. He missed.

Knowing that I had planned on getting The Dress today, I had called the store the day before. I spoke with Kim and described the dress to her. She didn't remember a dress like that and asked who had helped me with it. I told her that Michelle had, and she told me that she would be in a bit later. I called and reached her. I must say that she always brings a smile to my face- even hearing her voice. She is just so bubbly and nice. She, of course, knew exactly which dress I was talking about. She also said that she was so sad that she would miss me as she had an appointment the next day, but assured me that every woman in the store just adored me and would be happy to help. She would even pull a bunch of stuff for me and set - The Dress - aside.

So, I walked in and Kim was near the back, but called out my guy name in a cheery hello. Before I go on, I want to put this out to you for some thought; A lot of you have commented on my "success" in dealing with people. I wonder if this has anything to do with it. When I go out, and they ask me my name. I give them my guy name. Why? Because it's what I'm comfortable with. It's who I am. My name here - Kathi - is a name I picked out for a bit of online anonymity. Am I Kathi? Yes. Sure. She's a part of me. When I am out though, I am not trying to present myself as anything other than what I am. I'm not trying to be a woman, I just like to dress like one. People seem to respond well to that. As always, this is what seems to work for me - your mileage may vary, prices slightly higher in California.

Anyway, after a greeting and even more compliments on my shopping outfit (Mustn't . . . let it . . . go. . . to . . . head! ), Kim let me know that Michelle had pulled quite a lot of pretty things for me that she was sure I would look great in. She also told me that as soon as she had hung up the phone, she remembered exactly which dress I was asking about, and had remembered seeing me in last time. She said she was puzzled why I hadn't bought it then as she remembered how I looked in it. I told her that yes, I had indeed loved it, but thought it may be too short. She said, "With your legs?! No, that dress is perfect, You have to show those off!"

She led me back to a room that was already packed full of pretty things. Oh my, does seeing a room full of beautiful clothes ever just get me all gushy! I am so delighted that I get to do this! I love the feeling of pampering, femininity and overall girliness that overtakes me in full-on shopping mode. Sigh.

The first thing I tried on, of course, was The Dress. Before I go on, I have to apologize. As I was looking over the pictures that I took, I came to the realization that I don't have any in it. Aaaaahhhhhh! As Sue can attest, when I first saw that dress, my mind just left me. All I thought about was seeing myself in it. I must've forgotten to take a picture in it. Sorry. When my son goes back to college, I certainly plan on taking many pictures in it.

I took my shopping outfit off and slipped on The Dress. Oh my! It is a wonderful jersey knit that flows so beautifully. It has an asymmetrical collar and a pretty wide croc-embossed belt. It hugs my curves and just makes me feel so pretty. I know Frédérique will agree (as well as many here), there's just something about wearing a dress that makes you feel oh so feminine. I slid into my Anne Klein cutaway pumps, took a deep breath and opened the tryon room door. I clicked over to the huge mirror, . . . and fell in love again. Kim walked over and said, "Oh my, I forgot how beautiful you were in that dress. It's a definite keeper!" She then said, "Oh! I have just the necklace for you. Follow me!" We walked to the front of the store to the jewelry section. On the way there, I had to say "Excuse me" to a girl in my way. She said, "No problem! Thats a pretty dress. You look gorgeous in it!" I thanked her and followed Kim. She showed me a few necklaces. My favorite one was a long necklace with white and gray pearls, and silver and black balls. It really dressed up the solid black and gave the outfit a bit of interest. We walked back to the big mirror and took another look. Wow, did I ever feel good in that dress. Kim said she was jealous and that I needed to register my legs as lethal weapons. Yeah, right! I think they're pale and sticklike and all bulgy in my knees. Plus, they're freakishly long. A dress or skirt that hits most women at the knees seems to be about mid-thigh on me.

Well, as hard as it was, I went into my room to take off the dress. I knew it would be mine. I also knew I had my work cut out for me as I had a pile of pretty stuff to get through. Ah, the horrors of shopping!

Kim told me that Michelle said that I should start getting into the holiday mood, so she had pulled a beautiful sweater dress in a sparkly silver. I put it on. Wow, it was even shorter than the previous dress! Here's a picture. I couldn't fit my entire body in the picture, so I just got my legs and cut off my head (you're welcome):

It was pretty, but Kim and I agreed that it really wasn't my "style." Kim asked me if I would help her out. I told her of course I would! She said she was looking for an outfit for a funeral. I told her that I was sorry for her loss and we talked about her aunt for awhile. She said that she found a cute skirt, but needed to match it with a top. Would I mind trying a bunch of different tops on to help her out? Ha! Would I mind!? Are you kidding? I told her of course I would help her. She brought out the skirt from the back room and said, "You're a zero, right? Perfect. Let's try some blouses!" The skirt is cute - almost a hobble skirt, with a very close hem. It is a shiny satin and has multiple layers - very pretty! She gave me a couple of tops (Like I didn't already have enough clothes in the room!) and I tried them on. The first was a silver sweater with a cowl neck. Pretty, but not quite "it." Here's a picture:

We then tried on about four other tops. Nothing was really matching the skirt though. Finally, she grabbed a new one and told me to try it on. Bingo!! It was a pretty flowy silk top in a black and white print. It had an elastic waist and really looked great with the skirt. Here's the picture of that outfit:

Of course, Kim told me that I looked much better in it than she would. I told her that that was pure nonsense. She is maybe around 50, but has the body of a 25 year-old. Where I am all angles, she is pure curviness. She thanked me for helping her out, and I went back in to change. During all of this changing of tops, every time I walked out of the dressing room, I saw the same three ladies out there at the mirror. One was an incredible blond who looked to be in her mid-forties, but was just utter perfection, from her honey-blonde hair to her beautiful face to her willowy figure to her incredible shape. Wow! The funny thing is, the blouses I tried on, I would see her in about five minutes later. Granted, she looked spectacular in them while I looked pitiful, but it was funny that she would take fashion cues from me - a mere guy.

Well, I went through the clothes that Michelle had put out for me. One of the blouses was a sleeveless mock-turtleneck in a leopard print that I had tried on last time. As I was in the middle of my tryon party, a new employee came on shift in a sweater that just screamed "I'm fricking gorgeous! Buy me!!" At least, that's what I heard it say. I asked for it in my size, and tried it on with the leopard-print top. It was cute, and the sweater was definitely mine, but it didn't look quite right with the leopard print. Here's what I mean:

The sweater and top just didn't look, . . . "right" together. I asked Kim for my Swiss-Army clothing equivalent - the silk cropped shrug. She brought it and I tried it with the top. Bingo number two!! With my skinny jeans and the tight top and the cropped shrug, the outfit just came together. See if you agree:

My only concern is that due to the tightness of the top and the lines of the shrug that my boobs look kinda, . . . out there. I mean, I'm only an A cup, but they looked much larger in this outfit. Attention like that, I'm not sure if I want, if you know what I mean. For so long, I've tried to "blend" into the woodwork, like a mousy little librarian. An outfit like this doesn't exactly blend.

During all of these clothing changes, and the resulting competition for the mirror, there was one girl in the shop trying on various LBDs. She never said a word to me most of the time, but followed me with her eyes wherever I walked (aren't mirrors great for checking out not only yourself, but your environment? ). She would always smile at me, but the smile almost looked like it was saying, "I am so near laughter right now." I must have misinterpreted her smile though, because when she saw me in the outfit above, she asked, "I'm sorry, but is that your real body?" She then stammered, "I mean, . . . I'm sorry, I mean, are you really that curvy and feminine? You look great! And you have to get that black dress! I tried it on after you, and I didn't look half as good." I told her that the body was mine, but the boobs spend most of their time in a box. I also told her that I saw her in the dress and that she looked fantastic. She thanked me and I went in to change again.

Well, it was decision time. The Dress? Obviously mine - and on sale for 50% off to boot! The sweater? Also a definite, but had to pay full-price for that. Ah well, you can't win them all. I left the leopard top there, but have been hemming and hawing ever since. At one point I almost turned back for it. That's usually a sign that I will indeed get it one day. At the register, Kim thanked me for a fun time. She said she now understood why Michelle raved so much about me. She at first thought it was a bit strange that a guy would want to dress this way, but after seeing how I looked as a woman, and how much joy I got out of it, she said she understood perfectly. I told her that she was a woman, and that of course she got it - hair, makeup, clothes - they're a load of fun! Why should girls get to have all the fun?

So, as she was ringing me up, I received a 20% good customer discount, a free gift, and a gift card good for $25.00 off my next purchase. I do love a bargain! I may not be as savvy a shopper as Sara Jessica, but I can do well sometimes!

So, I left the store, once again floating on a sea of femininity. There's just something about a shopping bag - maybe it's the feel of the yarn handles. Maybe it's the sound of the tissue paper crinkling. Maybe it's the weight of the pretty things you know are inside. For me, it's all of that, combined with the knowledge that I get to do this. I get to go out, not caring what the world thinks, and dress up and buy pretty things. As much joy as it brings me, I would call that a blessing.

Wow, I spent wayyyy too much time in the store - almost 2 1/2 hours! Time to get home. I drove back to Ulta to show off my new treasures to my friends there. I will finish that in the next, and last post. I know this was a long one, but I hope the pictures made up for the excess wordage.

Kathi

[Kathi Lake]

Another shopping day has come to a close. As I was driving to Ulta I had this big dopey grin on my face - the grin of utter contentment and happiness. Sure, many things in life make me happy; a beautiful sunset, the delight of a giggling baby, a hug from my wife. Doing this, the simple act of putting on makeup, doing my hair, slipping into a pair of pumps and shopping till my eyes bleed is yet another thing that makes me happy.

I pulled into Ulta, grabbed my bag full o' pretties, and waltzed into the store. The first thing they said was, "OK, let's see the boots!" I walked over to them and got lots of breathless compliments on them. Britney asked where I got them. I shyly told her Nordstrom as I know it's her favorite store and she didn't get to go with me. She said, "You butt! You went again without me!" I reminded her that she was sick and she smiled and said she knew. She also loved the belt and asked where I got it. I told her of my adventure at Rue 21 (since she was the one that told me about the place) and we talked about some of the things she had gotten there. She then asked me if I had gotten The Dress. I smiled and said that I sure had! She said, "Well go try it on, girl! It's fashion show time!" I clicked on back where Jen was doing a color on a client. She loved the boots, but said they looked uncomfortable. I told her they were actually very comfortable - even though the heels were about 3 1/2 inches or so. She didn't seem convinced, so I said, "Would I ever lie to you - I mean, about girl stuff?" She laughed. During this time, her customer was smiling, but in a way that looked like, "That's a guy, right? Why is he dressed and talking and acting like he's a girl?"

I told Jen that I was going to change into The Dress. She said with a laugh, "Yay! I love your fashion shows. You rock!" I plopped my bag down in the ladies room and took off my shopping outfit. I unfolded the dress from the tissue paper, held it up, and smiled that something so simple as a piece of fabric can hold so much happiness. I slipped it on, slid into my pumps and clicked on out. Jen's (and her customer's) eyes got real big. "Wow! It's gorgeous!" and, after a pause, "It's . . . short!" I told her that she was the one that told me that I dressed like a librarian, and I was trying to branch out. She said that I was getting there, and once again hated me for my body and legs. Gee, isn't it nice to be hated?

I walked to the front of the busy store to show the others. Britney's reaction was the best. Jaw dropped, eyes wide open, hand over her heart, and an unintelligible "Unnnnnh!" "I take it you like it?" I said with a smirk. She took a deep breath and said that I had told her the dress was cute, but hadn't told her how cute I looked in it. I reminded her that I still see a man in a dress in the mirror, and am not the best judge. She said, "You may see that, but trust me - no one else does!" I thanked her, we chatted for awhile, and I told her it was time for me to turn back into a pumpkin.

I went back to the ladies room and reluctantly stripped away Kathi - at least her external manifestation - to return another day. I put my boring guy clothes back on, grabbed my stuff and went to the front. I caught Britney in an aisle and said hi. As she turned around, she kind of jerked to a start, "My God" she said, "You're three different people today." I told her that I was indeed the mistress of disguise. I thanked her for her compliments and told her she was looking better. When I had come in that morning, she was looking pale and not too good. I said something about it, and she said, "I know. I keep wanting to throw up." You should have seen the eyes of the customer whose makeup she was doing! I had to try real hard not to bust up. She said she had eaten something and was feeling better that afternoon. I told her that I would see her soon and I was off.

Well, this ends the last shopping day of 2009 for me. As I remarked in the "What has 2009 meant to you" thread, this is the first year I have really went out as Kathi. I would say that it has been a wonderful year. I hope this year has been a good one for you as well. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for 2010!

Kathi

[jenna_woods]

Kathi where are the pic, I want to see,

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi where are the pic, I want to see,

Sorry Jenna. Like I said earlier in the post, I was so excited to finally be wearing the dress that I forgot to take pictures in it. I will definitely do that as soon as I can - most likely right after my sleep-till-noon college boy goes back to college (which is right after his wake-at-crack-of-dawn parents pay his $6,000.00 tuition!).

Kathi

[Persephone]

You look great, Kathi! And it sounds like it was a really great day! Loved reading about your adventures.

May you and yours have a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year!

[Kathi Lake]

May you and yours have a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year!

Thanks! Dressed like the pictures above, it's impossible not to feel great!

I hope your family has a wonderful and meaningful Christmas as well.

Kathi

[Kathi Lake]

Since I'm going to CES (the Consumer Electronics Show) in Vegas, and needed some black pants, my wife took me shopping. Sure, I have a few pair of black pants, but no guy black pants. Somehow, I don't think my coworkers would be amused seeing me sashay around in my pretty, flowing wide-legged girly pants or my professional black slacks. Somehow, I don't think I could hide my size zero butt in those and hilarity would most likely ensue.

So, we were off to the mall - Nordstrom, specifically. First off, I don't like shopping for guy clothes. I get much more pleasure from something pretty. Alas, there we were. I told the SA (One who had helped me before, but didn't recognize me. Phew!) that I was looking for black pants with the smallest wait possible - 27-28 would be good - and a 34-35 inch inseam. She said that with an inseam that size, I would have to probably go to a 32-inch waist, but she would check. She looked and consulted with another SA, and they came back and said that they did have a line that might work - Hugo Boss. They took us over to the area, where we found some, but none lower than a 32-inch waist. The other SA asked, "Don't take this the wrong way, but have you tried women's pants? We have some styles that would look pretty much like men's pants." My wife kind of did a slow burn and I told them that I had done the women's pants route long enough, and was ready for a change.

The other SA told us to wait a minute, and came back with a 30 regular pair of pants in black. They were flat front, so they were apparently tailored a bit more. The price? Quite a reasonable $175.00! Gulp! Now I see why I usually shop at Eddie Bauer!

My wife wanted to see them on, so we went back to the dressing room. I slipped them on, put on my belt, cinched it for all it was worth, and went out to the mirror. Other than the waist, they didn't look that bad. My wife really liked them. The SA asked if we wanted the tailor to come back. I had horrible visions of the same tailor that has helped me in the past with all of my women's clothes waltzing in with a "Wonderful to see you again, my dear! Wow! Are you buying men's clothes now?!"

Luckily, it was a different tailor. He said he could try to take the waist in a bit while not making it look too freakish, and hem them. Wow, I kept thinking, "do you know the pretty things I could buy for $175.00?! What a waste!"

While I was paying, my wife went off to look for some Christmas socks for me (yeah, how romantic - but these are SmartWool socks - they rock!). The SA at the register smiled and said "Good to see you again. I almost didn't recognize you. I didn't want to say anything with your wife here, just in case. By the way, you were cuter the last time." I smiled and thanked her for her discretion. Aren't nice people, . . . nice?

All in all, it was just weird to be shopping for clothes in one of my favorite stores, and having them be men's clothes. Is that odd or what?

Kathi

[Persephone]

All in all, it was just weird to be shopping for clothes in one of my favorite stores, and having them be men's clothes. Is that odd or what?

Kathi

Sigh, and just when we thought you'd done the last shopping trip of 2009 . . .

I completely relate to how odd that situation of shopping for guy clothes feels, except, of course, that I can't relate to being a size 0.

Signed,
Reasonably content with being a size 6
(until you came along).

[Sara Jessica]

It never ceases to amaze me how open women can be when talking to me about everything from, . . . ummmm . . . discharge to bloating to breast enlargement (both the natural and "assisted" kind) to all of the interesting changes during pregnancy. It's funny as they sometimes catch themselves mid-dish and remember that I'm a guy. Sometimes they get embarrassed, sometimes they keep forging ahead.

...We hugged again (you know what? Guys don't hug nearly enough!)...

A lot of you have commented on my "success" in dealing with people. I wonder if this has anything to do with it. When I go out, and they ask me my name. I give them my guy name. Why? Because it's what I'm comfortable with. It's who I am. My name here - Kathi - is a name I picked out for a bit of online anonymity. Am I Kathi? Yes. Sure. She's a part of me. When I am out though, I am not trying to present myself as anything other than what I am. I'm not trying to be a woman, I just like to dress like one. People seem to respond well to that. As always, this is what seems to work for me - your mileage may vary, prices slightly higher in California.

I picked up on the comments above because they're all kind of related.

Women communicate much more effectively than men, and they genuinely enjoy doing so as well. The same goes for hugging, it's all about being open to one another's personal space, a feeling of which then feeds into communication. Guys "hug" more these days more than in the past but it's clearly a different kind of hug.

That said, it's almost like you are describing "Kathi's next step". The name thing kind of throws me a bit. I hear what you are saying, I feel similar when I go out, that I expect people to see me for what I am (even if they don't really know "what" I am). But those who know me only in girl mode generally know me only as Sara. I think it makes things easier and isn't the least bit deceptive. I'm presenting as female, they simply know me by a female name. Kathi, you may be expecting to be seen simply as someone who likes to dress like a woman but your communication skills betray something deeper, whether it is a result of conscious practice or not. You clearly have the ability to project femininity absent the obvious visual cues, that is something I would play upon by using Kathi's name in your interactions. But this opinion may be grounded on the higher prices in California!!!

So, as she was ringing me up, I received a 20% good customer discount, a free gift, and a gift card good for $25.00 off my next purchase. I do love a bargain! I may not be as savvy a shopper as Sara Jessica, but I can do well sometimes!

You do awesome Kathi! There can be some great finds at WH/BM.

Speaking of which, I think that black and white long sleeve top looks really pretty on you. It really flatters your figure. And that leopard top, wow! I think it looks perfect. Even with the first sweater it looks good but it does seem to clash conservative versus daring a bit. My only fear is that animal prints will dissapear next season which is why I'm not so eager to invest too much in this look. I did find a sleeveless black & white leopard top by INC a week ago at Macy's. I won't tell you how inexpensive it was!!!

I went back to the ladies room and reluctantly stripped away Kathi - at least her external manifestation - to return another day. I put my boring guy clothes back on, grabbed my stuff and went to the front.

You are lucky to have a place like that where you can effectively remove the girl. It's much easier than the car thing!!!

The SA at the register smiled and said "Good to see you again. I almost didn't recognize you. I didn't want to say anything with your wife here, just in case. By the way, you were cuter the last time." I smiled and thanked her for her discretion. Aren't nice people, . . . nice?

Wow, this is one of the reasons I try to put some serious radius between my home and where Sara shops in girl mode. That might be harder to do in Utah though. I live in a megalopolis where it seems like there are malls every 5 miles or so. My "home malls" are well within that "no fly zone" to avoid a situation like you encountered. I'm so glad your SA had the discretion not to say anything. She was a true professional.

As always Kathi, what a fun series of posts. I really enjoy keeping up with your adventures!

[Kathi Lake]

. . . except, of course, that I can't relate to being a size 0.

Signed,
Reasonably content with being a size 6
(until you came along).

Persephone, you have no worries whatsoever. Number one - you look great, and a size 6 is really on the lower-end of the scale. Number two - remember who's the genetic freak, here (I'll give you a hint; it's me ).

That said, it's almost like you are describing "Kathi's next step". The name thing kind of throws me a bit. I hear what you are saying, I feel similar when I go out, that I expect people to see me for what I am (even if they don't really know "what" I am). But those who know me only in girl mode generally know me only as Sara. I think it makes things easier and isn't the least bit deceptive. I'm presenting as female, they simply know me by a female name. Kathi, you may be expecting to be seen simply as someone who likes to dress like a woman but your communication skills betray something deeper, whether it is a result of conscious practice or not. You clearly have the ability to project femininity absent the obvious visual cues, that is something I would play upon by using Kathi's name in your interactions. But this opinion may be grounded on the higher prices in California!!!

And here we come to a place that may be a river in Egypt. Another reason I use my guy's name - even though it perplexes many women while dealing with me - I'm afraid of what may happen once I give in to this femininity inside me. After about six months of dressing, it was like a switch turned on. The excitement was almost gone, and instead I received a feeling of "rightness" when I dressed, as if this is the way I was supposed to be. Lisa Golightly and I traded a lot of posts back and forth about this. Her opinion was, "Doesn't mean you're heading down my path, Angel..." Maybe not, but admitting that it was even possible, to me, was akin to starting down a slippery slope. I'm not sure I wanna go there. I don't ever see myself transitioning. As I have mentioned before, I don't see the need for it in my situation. I have the best of both worlds - I get to dress occasionally, but don't have to every day. Women seem to respond to me as a woman most of the time - sometimes even after they catch themselves and remember that I'm a guy. It's a pretty great life!

Wow, this is one of the reasons I try to put some serious radius between my home and where Sara shops in girl mode. That might be harder to do in Utah though. I live in a megalopolis where it seems like there are malls every 5 miles or so. My "home malls" are well within that "no fly zone" to avoid a situation like you encountered. I'm so glad your SA had the discretion not to say anything. She was a true professional.

As always Kathi, what a fun series of posts. I really enjoy keeping up with your adventures!

It is a bit difficult in Utah. Our malls are kind of few and far-between. When my wife suggested we go to the one I was at dressed as a woman just a week ago, there was a bit of nervousness, to be sure. Part of me almost wants to get caught by her, in a way. We have been dancing around another discussion for so long - each of us embarrassed to start - that I need something to break the ice. Sigh. She is more and more accepting, but I still feel we need to talk.

Glad you liked the adventures. It sure would be more fun shopping with you, though. You know where all the bargains are!



Kathi