I Can't Join

[Leanne2]

Recently I inquired about possibly joining the Red Hat Society. Below is my e-mail to the contact person on their web site along with their reply. I didn’t want to lie about my birth sex.

Dear Ladies,
I am a transgendered person that can dress and pass as a woman. Would I be allowed to join your organization. It sounds like a lot of fun.
Sincerely
Leanne Arthur

Dear Mr. Arthur,
Your email was given to me for follow up.** Sorry, but no.**To answer you simply - Red Hat Society is a*women's social organization.* Men have their clubs, this is ours; it's a girl thing.

I guess my guy thing is the problem. Do you suppose I could join the men’s auxiliary? Leanne

[linnea]

The Red Hat Society is not known as a beacon of open-mindedness, and the response you received is a good indication of that and also a good example of blatant sexism. Imagine the uproar that would arise if a traditionally male organization were to respond to a woman--whether she were able to pass as a man or not--with a similar response.
Actually, you don't have to imagine it; there are plenty of actual examples to choose from.
To reject you solely on the basis of your sex is not surprising from that group, but it is tempting to challenge these particular biddies.

[PretzelGirl]

You could do what my mother did. Her and her friends made their own local chapter of the Red Hat Society and were enjoying their meetings together. Then some other people joined and wanted to start putting rules around it. So my mother and her friends bought hats of a different color and went about having a good time by themselves.

So find some other CD/TGs and make a Pink Hat Society (or whatever color) and have a great time!

[Terri Andrews]

Thanks for your courage and for sharing the results .
I have often thought about seeing if I could join ,but now am not sure I want to join such a narrow minded group .
The other side is that maybe these guidlines would vary from group to group ?I may try to contact our local chapters .

[RiverdanceGirl]

Pink hat society - yeah , great idea xD .

Wouldn't it be cool if all of us TS/CD girls had a way of recognizing each other in general life that nobody knew about but us . In our drab that is , just going about our daily male stuff .

[kellycan27]

It a club for gg's what did you expect? Do like the others have suggested, start your own club and then you can shun the girls.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Leanne-

If you can let me know what part of the country you're in, using an off-forum contact, if you prefer, I can let you know about a Red Hat Society chapter consisting entirely of tgirls in the Seattle area and put you in touch with them. If you're not from the Seattle or Pacific Northwest area then perhaps you can start a chapter of your own with other girls of our persuasion.

Yes, I do think their attitude is sexist and wrong, but they do have the right to include or exclude whomever they please. If someone wanted to start a group for red-headed, left-handed tgirls and exclude everyone else, they could do that, too.

My respect to you for the attempt.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Persephone]

I too have been thinking for years about starting a Red Hat chapter, possibly with me as the only CD member, possibly a GG/CD split, maybe all CD, or one that totally draws no distinction and that relies on the California definition that if you say you're a female, then you're a female.

I have been daunted by the clarity of pronouncements like the one you received, coupled with "Failure to comply with the above terms and conditions may result in legal action by The Red Hat Society, Inc. and/or the discontinuance of any or all Red Hat Society services. Chapter fees and / or membership fees will be forfeited by the offending member(s) in the case of discontinued membership service."

Pink Hats is a Red Hat subgroup for members who are under the age of 50. Pink Hats wear, well, pink hats and lavender until their 50th birthday when they can don red hats and purple. Red Hats may very well have Registered or Copyrighted Pink Hats.

I think that all of the other colors are open!

[Amy Lynn3]

They are not the only sexiest group. I wanted my daughter to join the Daughters Of The American Revolution and I sent them a letter asking how a person could join. Boy, I got a blistering letter back, telling me what for. I have many ancestors that were part of the Revolution and some have even been honored with statues erected to them.
Needless to say I would not want myself or anyone in my family to be part of that organization or the Red Hat Society. They both seem high minded !! I'm with the rest of the girls. Lets start our own group.

[Nigella23]

I'm sort of in two minds on this, (like most things I suppose,). On one hand I think why shouldn't you be accepted, on the other if you don't fulfill criteria to join their club then so be it.
I have to say Pink Hat society is already taken for their under 50 members.

All I can think to add on this is, if you try and "join" any society like this you need to be reasoning why, as their memberships are usually grown through word of mouth and personal invite.

[aggi123]

Recently I inquired about possibly joining the Red Hat Society. Below is my e-mail to the contact person on their web site along with their reply. I didn’t want to lie about my birth sex.

Dear Ladies,
I am a transgendered person that can dress and pass as a woman. Would I be allowed to join your organization. It sounds like a lot of fun.
Sincerely
Leanne Arthur

Dear Mr. Arthur,
Your email was given to me for follow up.** Sorry, but no.**To answer you simply - Red Hat Society is a*women's social organization.* Men have their clubs, this is ours; it's a girl thing.

I guess my guy thing is the problem. Do you suppose I could join the men’s auxiliary? Leanne

I can understand why you aren't allowed in their club, but addressing you as Mr. Arthur seems like a b****slap to the face to me.

[Prissy Linda]

Pink hat society - yeah , great idea xD .

Wouldn't it be cool if all of us TS/CD girls had a way of recognizing each other in general life that nobody knew about but us . In our drab that is , just going about our daily male stuff .

Wear a rubberband on your left wrist on Fridays, Refer to the Rubberband threads.

[Karren H]

Ohh well.... rules are rules!! Lol.

[Phyliss]

I believe it was Groucho Marx who once said something to the effect of: "I wouldn't join any group that would have me as a member"

If "they (red hats)" don't want you then start your own group and look down your nose at them .

[Lainie]

You don't write a letter to a social group asking if you can join.

You get invited by people you know who are already members. So just make friends with old ladies. If eventually you and your friends join a club, fine. If not, you'll still have each other.

[Joanie_Shakti]

I believe it was Groucho Marx who once said something to the effect of: "I wouldn't join any group that would have me as a member"

You beat me to it Phyliss.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm not much of a joiner myself. The organizations I have joined in the past have basically moved too slow for me. I needed to develop my personality at my own pace and endless, pointless meetings and teas just don't cut it for me.I guess that's the price one pays for being their own person.

[RiverdanceGirl]

Thanks Prissy Linda .

I will do that for sure . Maybe work my way up over a couple of weeks to the big old pink rubber band that comes on the brocolli , but will get there .

Sorry if I'm a bit thick sometimes .

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="2"]When my brothers were in boot camp, in 1968, the guys who kept screwing up, were put into a special infamous group, called "Redhats!" Not a group any wanted to join![/SIZE]

[izzfan]

addressing you as Mr. Arthur seems like a b****slap to the face to me.

I was just about to say the same thing....

[Maddie]

Phyllis that was the geratest man that said that W.C. Fields

[Paula_56]

let them have their fun, we have more fashion sense anyhow!

[Barbara918]

I never tried to join the Red Hat Society, but I once saw a Red Hat Society T-shirt in a mail-order catalog, so I ordered one with my femme name on it. If I wore it to one of their meetings, would they deny me entry? I suppose so.

[kristinacd55]

You could do what my mother did. Her and her friends made their own local chapter of the Red Hat Society and were enjoying their meetings together. Then some other people joined and wanted to start putting rules around it. So my mother and her friends bought hats of a different color and went about having a good time by themselves.

So find some other CD/TGs and make a Pink Hat Society (or whatever color) and have a great time!

Curiously, I googled Pink Hat Society & they're all over the country! I think you should join/make your own Hat club!

[Stephenie S]

Well to start, Lainie is right. You don't write a letter asking, you get asked. The Red Hat Society is a social club that you get invited to join, or you are referred to by another member.

Second, it IS a women's social club and you identified yourself as someone who could "pass as a woman". If you can pass as a woman, than why say so???

A more successful way might have been to just request information about joining the club and not identify yourself as a man. They were not wrong in rejecting you. It IS a club for women. It may be a sexist club, but it's THEIR club. If you want to join the Girl Scouts, it would be best not to identify your self as a boy. That's just common sense.

Stephie