Does the feeling fade?

[abigailf]

I have a question here, but it's at the end, so let me set up for it first.

So, why do I crossdress?

“I don’t know why, I just know it feels right.” Does this sound familiar?

When I dress I am assaulted by a multitude of sensations – all good.
There is a feeling of general happiness.
Before my wife knew, there was the excitement of being caught.
There is sometimes a sexual stimulation. Not as much now as there was in the beginning.
But most of all, there was the sensation that what I was doing was just plain right and that it belonged; like a round peg in a round whole.

I know it feels good to be dressed up and looking as pretty as I can be. I love the feel of the clothing, the colors on my nails, and the smoothness of my hairless skin. I love to do my hair and the feel it gives me as it caresses my shoulders. I enjoy putting on my makeup, pulling on stockings or pantyhose, or buckling the ankle strap on my heels. I like to sway my hips when I walk and when someone refers to me as a lady or a miss or a mam. I love to think of myself as a girl and the way it sounds when I say it out loud.

So, why do I crossdress?

Do I get this stimulation from dressing because I don’t do it all the time? So when the time I dress does come I am excited about it and the sensations are thus enhanced?

So for those of you that now live 24/7 as the opposite sex, tell me, do you still get the same sensations from dressing as you did when you did it part of the time?

[GypsyKaren]

Nope, I don't give it a thought at all because it's now just a natural part of my daily life, and dressing for me means casual and comfy, I live in jeans, t-shirts, scrubs and tennies, with no makeup. While some may think this to be strange or a waste, to me it's what I always wanted, just being plain old simple me.

Karen

[Teri Jean]

Nope unless there is a special outfit and function I'm going to. Then there will be some excitement of the new outfit and such. Everyday stuff, not really, just another day.

Teri

[CharleneT]

Sorry to be part of the chorus ... but

Nope


... but I'm a TS and I think that is a completely different experience from CD'ing... hence not really comparable.

[Elle44]

LIke the other posters, no for the most part, but just let me buy a new dress, blouse, or a bra that's comfortable like a Playtex or new heels and I feel real good and then I'm aware of it.

[patti.jean]

Abigail,

As you know I am not full time. However here is my perspective. My wife is very supportive of Patti and I am able to express my feminine side everyday. My latest thing is wearing leggings and a feminine top around the house. Then I sleep most nights in a negligee. Now when I go out full fem it is a different feeling for me then it was a few years ago. Still exciting but not the highs and yes the lows it was before.

When I was going to go out before I would spend hours going over every last detail in my mind, to the point that when I went out it was like a scripted event. Now it is more like I get ready buy pulling something out of the closet not sure what I am going to wear until I put it on. I do spend a lot of time looking at women’s fashion putting together outfits so that when the time comes I can “pull something out of the closet to wear.”

However, to answer why do you crossdress? For me it is something within me. Even with being able to express my feminine side everyday I do at time feel Patti calling for attention, wanting to go out. I have also found there are similarities between GGs and CDs. Through my wife Katherine I have been able to have conversations about my crossdressing with different women. It has amazed me to find how many women struggle with wanting to feel feminine but do not feel confident with makeup, fashion, etc. I have also found that many women look forward to getting all dressed up to go out. I find that what I hear from these ladies is not a lot different then what I feel.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

great question. i have wondered about this my whole life

"it" never ever goes away...never

BUT

"it" changes over time and depending on the root of your crossdressing behaviour, it will change in different ways...

for the ts woman, it changes into a feeling of normalness and peace that only seems to come as she moves through her transition..

[stacie]

Nope, since I transitioned I don't have any of those feelings like you discribe. I am a girl now and I don't have to mess with all the things I had to that made me feel like a girl. But it was about my body and not the clothing. Now I have a girls body so I can be me. It's so nice to be able to throw on some jeans or a skirt and get on with the day.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Wearing womens clothes now, has no sexual thrill at all for me. It just feels normal for me. In fact when I wear mens clothes I feel funny, not me. Kimberly

[sherri52]

I don't get the sensation every time I dress which is every day. I do feel funny when I don't dress and I don't feel I am myself.

[pamela_a]

Add me to the clothes are clothes list. They're what I wear everyday so there is nothing especially exciting and certainly nothing sexual about them.

-Pam-

[Shikyo]

I can't really say there is any special sensation or feeling coming out when I put on clothes. I simply feel as myself with or without the clothes. The only sensation is when I get something new but that's not what you're looking for, I'd guess.

[Deborah_UK]

Although I'm not full time (only 8 days to go!!!! ) I echo the sentiments above, fr'instance went Xmas shopping yesterday, presenting 100% female (as I do on my days off) wearing jeans, sweater, trainers, scarf and overcoat (it was cold yesterday), but a bit of mascara and lippy - can't let the world see me without those two!!!! LOL

[TerryTerri]

I don't live 24/7. Actually, I'm not 'out' but to a few folks. But, I've been on HRT since March. For me, the Hormone regime makes the big difference. Before hormones I felt most complete and whole and internally at one when I was in femme. My reality is that I have the spirit/soul/emotions/perspectives of a female and a physically male body with 49 years of learned male behavior. There's a fracture in that and it sums up many of my pre-hormones emotions. My relief was dressing in femme. Now, since I started hormones, that internally fractured feeling has mostly dissipated. I naturally feel more peaceful and whole inside. It's really nice, I really like it! the funny thing is that the 'desire' and 'need' to crossdress mostly left also. I see myself being similar to Karen someday in that jeans, tops, flats normal 'casual' female attire will probably be my norm.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am one that doesn't dress full all the time. I usually wear jeans and panties with a T=shirt to work And my off days I get to wear a fem top and bra. I don't get that feeling all the time. When around the house I just feel like "ME". Nothing special though I may be wearing my 4" thigh high boots. Sometimes I get a sense of feeling lost about who I am. And wonder if I am going to ruin my relationship with my wife (she knows) and family if they find out (working on coming out). Confusion sets in.

[abigailf]

Thanks all for the input. It is pretty much what I was expecting to hear. I suppose if I was to sum up the responses in a short sentence, it would be that the feelings will fade, but peace and happiness (or maybe contentment) remains. Did I get that right?

Even for myself, I notice that as I dress more I do not have the same sensations has I had when I was younger or even a year ago, but there is still a general feeling of calm or peace or happiness about me.

When my wife sees my pictures, she recognizes a certain happiness about me that I don’t normally have in pictures when I am not dressed.

[Frances]

Nope, no special feelings here either. To me transitionning did not bring about happiness, but rather the end of my torment. So I may be more calm, but not happier. There is no frisson attached to being a woman full time. It can be a pain sometimes, but my former life was hell in comparaison.

[Melissa A.]

Likewise. I may be a little "happier", whatever that means, but mostly, being out to the world and (mostly) accepted as female, by others, and most of all, myself, has put an end to alot of anguish and pain, most of which I buried for a very long time. But once it's out, it's out for good. I had to act, or else.

Clothes are just a pain in the butt. I don't have enough room for them, and I can never find anything when I want to wear it.

Hugs,

Melissa

[noeleena]

Hi.
In some ways after 11 years . i still have the i can be dressed like its real . & every day its . i dont ever have to wear male clothes . never again . i had 50 years of that . & hated it .

so now its i have a wardrob full of womens clothes . that i can wear & being a edwardian girl 1900 s we have other clothes to wear on our outings . & do s.
Most other times its a skirt . & different tops . & the colours are so nice ..& the different out fits . so is it a ho hum not really all tho it could be . i count each day as a neat part of who i am. So for me its so neat . freedom if you like ...

...noeleena...

[Nicole Erin]

Teri pretty much said it.
I will say at first when one is discovering their femme side, be they CD, TS, whatever, there will be the "newness" about it but yeah the excitement does fade, as do the worries of being out with femme clothing.

Nope unless there is a special outfit and function I'm going to. Then there will be some excitement of the new outfit and such. Everyday stuff, not really, just another day.

Teri

[Scotty]

After wearing womens clothing for 10 years now, it feels strange wearing a pair of mens jeans or pants....

With HRT, in mens slacks, I look like a woman trying to wear mens clothes, a bubble butt and boobs....it's kinda funny actually.

I bought a pair of womens dockers and wore them, low rise, very comfy - so you can stay with womens and appear male if necessary....

Still, nothing beats wearing a skirt...I even have one I kick around in for housecleaning, yardwork....

[Maryanne_sa]

I don't buy into this whole thing of once your are on hormones, you don't feel the need to dress and make yourself pretty. Yes of course having your body changed to be in line with what you are is important, and the ultimate goal, but I don't believe that dressing becomes unimportant.

Women's fashion is a multi billion dollar industry, Why? because women love clothes, new fashions, making themselves look good etc. I have a lot of women family members and friends, and there is not one of them who does not like to look good, and feel good about themselves, and love buying a new dress, top, shoes, purse etc. Obviously, they do spend a lot of time in casual clothes, jeans etc, but even then, the top they wear with it is chosen with
care. They are not happy when you don't notice anything new they are wearing.

I think that once you have started, or have transitioned, and you stop having an interest in looking good, then you are missing a special part of being a women.

I am waiting for an appointment to a Gender Clinic, and I shall be very upset if once I start on Hormones, which hopefully is soon, I loose interest in making myself look good, or enjoy buying that new item of clothing, or a new pair of shoes.

Maryanne

[Shikyo]

I don't buy into this whole thing of once your are on hormones, you don't feel the need to dress and make yourself pretty. Yes of course having your body changed to be in line with what you are is important, and the ultimate goal, but I don't believe that dressing becomes unimportant.

Having the need to dress and wanting to look pretty are two different things. As a girl we want to look as good as we want to, it's in our nature. However, I don't feel any less a girl even if I have to dress in something less pretty.

Believe me the hormones ain't going to change anything about how you dress.

Women's fashion is a multi billion dollar industry, Why? because women love clothes, new fashions, making themselves look good etc. I have a lot of women family members and friends, and there is not one of them who does not like to look good, and feel good about themselves, and love buying a new dress, top, shoes, purse etc. Obviously, they do spend a lot of time in casual clothes, jeans etc, but even then, the top they wear with it is chosen with
care. They are not happy when you don't notice anything new they are wearing.

Like I already said before there is a difference in wanting to look good or having the need to dress.

Spending a lot money doesn't necessary meant that you'll end up looking pretty.

I think that once you have started, or have transitioned, and you stop having an interest in looking good, then you are missing a special part of being a women.

A girl will never lose a interest in looking as good as possible but there is also no urge to look always the best. Being too obsessed with your look isn't good either.

I mean if you think about it. Do you need to put on some makeup and pretty clothes to clean up the house? Take out the trash? Go the supermarket?

Do you have a need to dress for these occasions or look as pretty as you can?

I am waiting for an appointment to a Gender Clinic, and I shall be very upset if once I start on Hormones, which hopefully is soon, I loose interest in making myself look good, or enjoy buying that new item of clothing, or a new pair of shoes.

Maryanne

Don't worry, the hormones ain't going to change what you are. They're only helping you to become what you were supposed to be in the beginning.

[Frances]

I am waiting for an appointment to a Gender Clinic, and I shall be very upset if once I start on Hormones, which hopefully is soon, I loose interest in making myself look good, or enjoy buying that new item of clothing, or a new pair of shoes.

Maryanne

To me, that seems like another matter. I wear makeup everyday, I love clothes and I want to look pretty all the time. There is just no special thrill, frisson or excitement attached to it. It just feels normal and right.

Do I get this stimulation from dressing because I don’t do it all the time? So when the time I dress does come I am excited about it and the sensations are thus enhanced?

So for those of you that now live 24/7 as the opposite sex, tell me, do you still get the same sensations from dressing as you did when you did it part of the time?

The words in this quote are very important: stimulation, excited, enhanced sensations. The answer from everyone who has transitionned and been on hormones seems to be a negative. For a woman, to be a woman, is not stimulating or exciting. It just is. Same way that my breasts are just an extension of my body.

[melissaK]

So is it the hormone therapy that changes the thrill/excitement ?

I have been on hormones for 3 1/2 years or so, but have not transitioned. (its my choice to straddle the MTF fence in this way). When my E hormones are high, besides the battle in my head stopping, the excitement over cross-dressing is gone; but not necessarily the desire to cross-dress. Womens jeans, groomed eyebrows, etc all are just normal. When I let my E dosage drop, it goes back to how it used to be - screaming battle in my head and crossdressing is more of an exciting obsession.

Happy holidays everyone,
'lissa