What kind of abuse do the men put up with?

[NiCo]

Hi Noeleena,

now this in the main does not appear in the older people i deal with . the odd one or two yes .
so is this the young ones trying to prove them selfs to be better than any one else.

What are you trying to say here?

Thanks.

[KrazyKat]

Hey, just to share, if you look into someone's eyes and slightly smile and listen to them, and get to know them, you don't have to use a lot of pronouns, for sure!!

If you are "in your mind" judging how this person you are attempting communication with is going to respond because of their presenting gender, whew, you aren't listening very well, are you?

Listening, is taking in everything a person does and acts, also, right?!

[Andy66]

If you are "in your mind" judging how this person you are attempting communication with is going to respond because of their presenting gender, whew, you aren't listening very well, are you?

Listening, is taking in everything a person does and acts, also, right?!

Thank you for your opinion, Kat. I have no problem listening to people as long as they seem reasonably sane and intelligent.

[Loni]

Years ago, at a bar I used to hang out at, there was a guy who was a bit homophobic.
He just seemed to make too many gay jokes and put down (in a somewhat friendly, not realy threatening mannor) anyone he thought might be gay, etc.

However, one day a someone who I suspected) might be a transmam stated coming to the bar.

Long story short.... he started going balistic on the transman.

To me he seemd to be really threatened by him and it went to the core of his masculinity. In his mind If a woman can act like and become a man, it diminished his mascilinity.
In other words the a-hole was insecure about his own masculinty and he was confronted by it whenever the transman was around
I suspect this is a common reason for transman bashing.

you have hit the nail on the head. those "guys" that say, do, treat, others that just want to be them selves, have a problem and need to find there true selves.

been there done that. but what makes a man is not what grew betwen the legs. it is what is betwen the ears.

.

[Elric]

It's a little off topic, but...

Let me assure you that you don't have to be FTM to hear about not really being a man. Everyone who was born with a pens has to put up with that, and there is a good measure of truth to it. Having a penis makes a person "male," physically at least, but being male and being a man are two distinctly different things. Honestly being a man has a LOT less to do with a beard, drinking beer, driving a truck, being a womanizer, or being macho than a lot of males think it does; in fact, in almost every case, those things are indicators that one is NOT a man.

You want to be a man? Devote yourself to something larger than yourself. Work hard, but don't seek recognition for it. Sacrifice for the benefit of others. Seek excellence. Challenge yourself - not others. Be fearless, but not reckless, or just stupid. Be unfailingly generous and kind to others. Be well educated, well spoken, and well mannered. Don't be afraid to get dirty, but unless you are getting dirty - be clean. Be disciplined. Don't brag. Read some Hemingway - that guy was a pro, Kipling won't hurt you either.

May I say that this so well said. Thank you. Although I do like my cars, pornography, the ladies and science fiction, it is good to balance such pursuits with those you've mentioned. Donne is a favourite of mine :-)

But truly, thank you for this answer! Well well said.

[Elric]

I think that last one may be the one that hurts the most when coming from within the TG community itself. Actually, any of the above statements hurt even more when said to you within the trans community. It can seriously make you feel like everybody is rejecting you or minimizing your problems. You don't even find solace with the group of people that's supposed to get you. Yet they're going through the exact same things! It gets so maddening sometimes that you don't even want to think about it.

I think it's very important that those within the TG community, regardless of any differences of opinion or personality clashes, support one another. Because honestly, where else can most of us go when we need a friendly ear? We may not all have the same agenda or the same background, but to find solace and comfort in knowing there are similarities, and at the heart, a desire for acceptance, is so very crucial.