One Year on Testosterone Yay!!!!

[Felix]

Yay : I've been on testosterone One Year and wow I've just discovered how much I've really changed psychologically This is because my thinking has in some areas become extremely black and white and I cant get my head round certain things.

Before,12 months ago I may have been able to see past some things but now I just can't! What I mean is before I always saw Transgender as an umbrella term covering the full spectrum except for Transsexualism which I do see as something totally different. I now know why because I am male unequivocally and there is no way I could live with any female parts. I have been in the wrong body all my life and when I used the term Transgender it was very loosely to describe the part of myself that has been moulded by society to be what it wanted me to be, socialised as female even though I was really male. I did get positive things from this like my sons but all the time I struggled to keep the real person from coming out which caused me immense pain

When I embraced the whole concept of being Transsexual it was like a light bulb coming on. What I didn't realize was how this was going to affect me in the long term. Now I'm becoming Felix the whole person and it's amazing.

Before I considered what I see now as what others who are Transgendered consider which is being more fluid and only changing the parts of the body which they feel more comfortable changing. This is where my views differ and to me what makes me Transsexual. Because I want to go all the way both hormonally and physically because nothing else will suffice. For me to keep certain parts of your body keeps you in between even if you have been on hormones and had certain bits of your body removed.

This is where I noticed the dramatic change in my thinking like I said above. Things are so clear cut for me now where as before they were far more fluid and I delt with that. I'm talking gender here not sexuality!

Anyhow just wanted to share those thoughts with you all

Now for my celebratory One Year Photo .......

[DanielMacBride]

For me to keep certain parts of your body keeps you in between even if you have been on hormones and had certain bits of your body removed.

Ah yes but then you get into the grey areas of situations like mine, where someone may WANT to have some surgery but is unable to because of the way the system works in their country or being unable to come up with the money to pay for it, or because the surgical options are crap at best (sorry, I know you believe otherwise, but the majority of transmen do NOT get lower surgery for exactly those reasons, it's expensive and the results are not that great). What about say, all the Aussie transguys who now have to cough up six figures to go overseas to get lower surgery done because there are no longer any surgeons in Australia who perform phalloplasty or metoidioplasty? And what about the fact that not every country has a medical system that will pay for trans surgery or even assist a trans person to get it in any way? And what about the boys who have valid medical reasons NOT to get certain surgeries done (of whom I know at least two personally)?

Not all of us keep the bits we were born with by choice - does that make us any less transsexual? I think not. Trans elitism gets the TG/TS community NOWHERE.

[Aubrey Green]

Felix congratulations!!! You have made great strides. I am glad to see the progress you have made and I am very happy for you.

[Lorileah]

Congrats Felix. I am happy things are working out for you and I hope that it continues that way forever

[SirTrey]

Congrats, Felix on your first year on T....It goes by fast, doesn't it? (Almost two years for Me, I can't even believe it).....You look great and I am really happy for you.... Everyone does the journey their own way and I am very glad you are finding your way through all of this and know what's right for you....I am with Dan on the phalloplasty issue (for Me), I don't think the results are what I would want them to be....If that ever improves, I would be the first to want to have it done...but...If YOU are happy with it, then you should absolutely do it....A lot of people have gone that route and seem happy with the results....This is certainly a road with no real path, that's for sure....and I am really very glad for you that you have found yours and are feeling good about things....

[Felix]

Hi Dan and yes I say YES to all those things you say. I can see exactly what you are saying and I acknowledge and respect any decisions made by each and every individual hence still being able to step outside the box and be professional about these things. It's just a personal perspective on how I feel I do not think there is anything wrong with peoples choices and all reasons are valid and I respect that. I wish my thinking hadn't changed this dramatically and it did blow my mind away last night when I realised I was thinking the way I was. We all have our own personal opinions and that's all I was doing was sharing mine however radical it may appear on the surface. Whatever my personal view though like I said I would support anyone in their personal choices around this mine field because it is so very personal.

Hi Trey and thanx bro for all the support you have given me since I came to this board 3.5 years ago

Thanx Lorileah and Aubrey for all your kind words and encouragement xx Felix

[Andy66]

Congratulations on the one year!

I find it interesting how your thinking has changed. The difference between male and female thinking has fascinated me for a long time. I would like to hear more about your experience with this, if you have more to tell and feel like telling it.

[dancinginthedark]

Time flies eh? I can remember when things weren't so clear cut for you and yeah you were pretty dang miserable. I'm happy for you Felix. Looks like that long journey to self has finally lead you home.


xx

Mae

[NiCo]

Happy birthday mate! Congrats on being one year old!

[sexotik]

Hey Felix, don't know you but grats on the year on T that has ticked by and may many more come along.

[Felix]

Thanx peeps for all your continued support through out the time you have known me xx Felix

[pamela_a]

It's been a year already Felix? You look great.

Wherever you end up in your journey I hope you find peace, happiness, and fulfillment being the man you are.

and best wishes always.

-Pam-