In a bit of a tiff with my honey

[Danielle Gee]

Hi Girls:
My holiday isn't really going too well - 12 days in a row off and I haven't dressed yet. My honey and I had a few words (about money) before we left for N.Carolina to spend the holiday with my oldest daughter. as usual, I pressed the issue untill what would have been a minor spat became a major issue. (when will I learn to shut the H*ll up?)

My son-in-law spent the holiday in the hospital due to illness, so my daughter wasn't exactly in the mood for the emotional baggage we brought. Therefore the trip (while not a disaster) was strained to say the least!!

So now I have time off from work, the urge to dress, and a PO'd wife who would probably use this as ammo in our situation. As a side note, she's never brought up my CDing in an argument before. It would devestate me i'm sure!!

Even though my wife has been supportive of my CD'ing, I've always had the idea nagging in the back of my mind that I had "failed" her somehow.

Can any of you girls relate to my situation ? Do any of you with accepting wives feel as I do sometimes?

[Tamara Croft]

Don't you think you should try making amends with your wife first before pissing her off further? Money issues can be one of the biggest strains on a family, then add the CD'ing into it, although your wife might accept it, pushing something else onto her whilst she's already mad at you will only made the situation worse. Is there something you can do for her? make her a nice meal or something, what does she like?

[DonnaT]

No, I've never thought that I failed her in any way.

I'm a good provider with a good job. I'm a jack of all trades, just about. So there is nothing I can't do that needs doing.

And in the 34 years we've been married, I've never started an argument.

Being trans makes no difference in my position as a husband.

[Danielle Gee]

Don't you think you should try making amends with your wife first before pissing her off further? Money issues can be one of the biggest strains on a family, then add the CD'ing into it, although your wife might accept it, pushing something else onto her whilst she's already mad at you will only made the situation worse. Is there something you can do for her? make her a nice meal or something, what does she like?

Tamera: I agree with you, I'm not going to CD untill a calming of the situation occurs. A believe my I've tried to make amends. My wife is a person who, once angry procedes in her own schedule at getting over it.

[Tiff Rivera]

[SIZE="3"]
Just a suggestion, but flowers come to mind
It should ease the tension at least
[/SIZE]

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u for bringing sanity to the site, Danielle! After all the "fantasy" threads, it kind of brings me back to earth!

Money, is one of the, if not THE most contentious issue, between married couples!

My ex had NO INTEREST in holding on to money! To that end, she made SURE to spend all that she had, and WOULD EVER HAVE in the future, ASAP!

Best of luck, Danielle! I hope u can work it all out satisfactorily! I couldn't!

[DanaR]

Can any of you girls relate to my situation ? Do any of you with accepting wives feel as I do sometimes?

Yes, I do relate. Sometimes I feel like she isn't very accepting. It's like hearing the words and watching the body language and they don't say the same thing.

[Jason+]

While my wife is doing her best to accept, I have on a couple of occasions thought that cross dressing was a screaming red target that was much more okay to attack than what the real issue was. Other times it's an additional specification to be added as aggravating circumstances to the original charge.

Thankfully those times are slowly becoming more rare but money will always be a hot button issue whether there is too little or more than enough.

[sherri52]

Hold off on the dressing until you and your wife are at ease with each other. I have been in your situation and lost my wife, The difference was she wasn't accepting. We almost all have fights with our spouses, but it's not the big fight that hurts the relationship. You have heard of the straw that hurt the camels back. It's the small difference that comes after the bigger ones that cause the biggest problems.

[Danielle Gee]

Hold off on the dressing until you and your wife are at ease with each other. I have been in your situation and lost my wife, The difference was she wasn't accepting. We almost all have fights with our spouses, but it's not the big fight that hurts the relationship. You have heard of the straw that hurt the camels back. It's the small difference that comes after the bigger ones that cause the biggest problems.

That's exactly what I'm planning to do,Sherri; but that for being so understanding

Daniielle XOXO

[CamilleLeon]

While she isn't my wife, yet, I do sometimes feel that I've somehow let my girlfriend down or that I must be careful to not crossdress "too much." I think this is due to unconscious feelings of guilt left over from coming to terms with who I am (that being a tranny).

Anyway, best of luck with the wife and remember that delaying crossdressing will only make it better when you get to do it

[KarenCDFL]

Even is this bad economy that all of us here have been affected by, you can still make your wife feel like a million bucks!

Give her a massage, tell her you love her, a walk in the park, anything that makes her the center of attention.

You can do a ton of things that cost nothing but your time and it will make her feel good about herself and you.

And I know from 16 years of personal experience that if my wife is happy, no matter what is happening around us, all is good with the world!

Happy Holidays!

Karen

[Amanda Styles]

Don't you think you should try making amends with your wife first before pissing her off further? Money issues can be one of the biggest strains on a family, then add the CD'ing into it, although your wife might accept it, pushing something else onto her whilst she's already mad at you will only made the situation worse. Is there something you can do for her? make her a nice meal or something, what does she like?

I have to agree 100% with Tamara.
When a relationship is already strained for whatever reason by one or more issues adding another is not the best idea.

Like Tamara said, is there
not something she likes that you could do for her.

That goes a long way from my personal experience.

[JamieOH]

I look at so many of you, who have SO's that even remotley support it, and I think about my own situation.. My lovely lady has warmed up to, sort of, me wearing nighties to bed, and panties all the time.. She has even mentioned, that I maybe should wear a bra, but I dont think she meant it the way I mean it.. I mentioned that the bumps in the road hurt my boobs.. but I think she meant it sarcastically.. though it's hard to tell with her. But I digress.. I think she will not ever buy me things, or go shopping with me for cool dresses and things.. I cant see it happening.. The one time I wore a femme outfit, and had tucked myself, the look of disgust I saw in her eyes pained me.. I dont know if I could ever put either of us through that again.. it was like she despised me for wanting to be feminine..

[Jamie Burton]

Once the holidays are over, perhaps you both should sit down and discuss the money issues. It's hard to deal with such a tough subject during this time of year - everyone is all stressed out about shopping and traveling (and the money for shopping and traveling), it can be very tough for everyone.

It sounds to me like that real issue is the stressful time of the year for both of you! Crossdressing might not be an issue at all in this, although I think you're correct in not making it a source of stress by being circumspect.

Get through New Years and then find some time to have a conversation without that extra stress on you - but do it before tax time roles around!

Good Luck!

(BTW, been there and done that with my wife and we're still together after sixteen years. Probably going to have to do it again sometime in the future as well!)

[Andy66]

So now I have time off from work, the urge to dress, and a PO'd wife who would probably use this as ammo in our situation. As a side note, she's never brought up my CDing in an argument before. It would devestate me i'm sure!!

A lot of people say things they don't mean during an argument, but if she has never mentioned your CDing in an argument, why are you so sure she would now? And why would you think she meant it in the heat of an argument, if she's supportive when she's calm?

Even though my wife has been supportive of my CD'ing, I've always had the idea nagging in the back of my mind that I had "failed" her somehow.

I think when the peace has been restored between you two, you should ASK HER. Don't assume things or project your own feelings onto her. It's quite possible she doesn't mind at all. Or maybe she minds about as much as other wives mind their husbands' hobbies (fishing, football, etc.). Don't be afraid of the answer. If she's fine with your CDing, great. If not, it's an opportunity for you to work on things and get closer.

[Leslie Langford]

Hi Girls:
My holiday isn't really going too well - 12 days in a row off and I haven't dressed yet. My honey and I had a few words (about money) before we left for N.Carolina to spend the holiday with my oldest daughter. as usual, I pressed the issue untill what would have been a minor spat became a major issue. (when will I learn to shut the H*ll up?)

My son-in-law spent the holiday in the hospital due to illness, so my daughter wasn't exactly in the mood for the emotional baggage we brought. Therefore the trip (while not a disaster) was strained to say the least!!

So now I have time off from work, the urge to dress, and a PO'd wife who would probably use this as ammo in our situation. As a side note, she's never brought up my CDing in an argument before. It would devestate me i'm sure!!

Even though my wife has been supportive of my CD'ing, I've always had the idea nagging in the back of my mind that I had "failed" her somehow.

Can any of you girls relate to my situation ? Do any of you with accepting wives feel as I do sometimes?

...and my wife is the type who can create "issues" out of thin air, totally blindsiding me in the process. Usually, they involve a totally unfounded accusation, which, when I try to refute it and provide evidence to the contrary, only results in her complete unwillingness to accept it and we end up engaging in a protracted, circular "He said, She said" type of argument.

I have two strikes against me here: I am not the "yes, Dear, whatever you say, dear" type of wimp who caves in just to preserve the peace. Even if I was, once my wife gets on a roll, all kinds of other, previously unresolved issues get trotted out as well as she continues with her rants. Bottom line: when she wants to pick a fight, she will keep on prodding and pushing and won't stop until she finally hits a nerve.

And of course, money issues, my alleged self-centeredness (the kettle calling the pot black?) my crossdressing, and the fact that I am not a "real man" invariably get thrown into the mix to ensure that I am suitably humbled and kept off-balance as she attempts to exercise her full control over me.

We actually had a great Christmas with fun family get-togethers up until the morning of the 26th when my wife decided to go all squirrelly on me yet again, and the atmosphere in our house is currently about as toxic as it can be. To be honest, she is a bit ahead of schedule this year - she usually only gets into this frame of mind by about the 29th or 30th during the Christmas Break i.e. just in time to ruin New Year's for us. To much togetherness during this period, perhaps?

I am starting to believe that there are some serious mental health issues at play here, as the vehemence of her actions (and reactions) bear only a slight resemblance to the alleged transgressions on my part.

I am nearing the end of my rope, as I am not nearly the poor excuse for a human being that she attempts to portray me as, even given her aversion to my crossdressing.

My New Year's resolution for 2010? Getting a divorce to extract myself from this Monty Python sketch of a marriage and preserve my sanity in the process, no matter what the cost. Life's too short to endure this type of B.S. indefinitely .