dating advice please?

[cordgrass]

I suppose I should have introduced myself in the new member section, but I wanted to post my question right away. I found this forum by searching on "dating a crossdresser." I am female, born female, and the last couple years I have realized that most men just don't do it for me. I've never been with a crossdressing man, but I really really want to try it. I went to a local drag show last winter hoping to meet CD's, but the only people dressed were the performers and the waitresses. I also went online to various CD websites and tentatively posted my interest, but was quite overwhelmed with the responses from all over the country and just didn't respond. Finally I bit the bullet this week and did a local posting. I thought I would ease into it, with a no pressure sort of light fling. However, within hours I got a response from the most dreamy man imaginable. He's so handsome and so lovely dressed, and very well educated, and respectful and in all ways someone my mother would consider "a catch". I've done the whole marriage thing so finding the perfect husband is the last thing on my mind, but the idea of an intellectual equal is very appealing. Well anyhow, I am quite nervous and don't want to blow this, and I want to ask for tips on dating.

How does a woman date a CD? I think we will be meeting up initially with him "en femme." Do I take the man's role? Should I take things slower than I normally would? Will he be judging me on what I wear more than most men? I'm sort of at sea. Please help.

[Kate Simmons]

Just be yourself Hon. What I've found out from experience (sometimes hard experience) is to build a good friendship first. A solid friendship is unshakable and will withstand things a romance cannot. Take it from a person who found that out the hard way.

[Karren H]

Welcome.... Were just like anyone else... And hopefully you can find someone and build a relationship on something more than just crossdressing! We have other interest too.. Like ice hockey! You like ice hockey? Sorry. My wife won't let me date! Lol.

[cordgrass]

I should hope so! Since my interest in women's clothes is as low as my interest in men in women's clothes is high.

It definitely wouldn't be "myself" to go slow and build up a friendship, I am rather naturally aggressive, but I will make the effort to pace things. Thank you for the advice.

[Tiff Rivera]

Just be yourself Hon. What I've found out from experience (sometimes hard experience) is to build a good friendship first. A solid friendship is unshakable and will withstand things a romance cannot. Take it from a person who found that out the hard way.

I agree, be yourself and build that friendship!

Welcome.... Were just like anyone else... And hopefully you can find someone and build a relationship on something more than just crossdressing! We have other interest too.. Like ice hockey! You like ice hockey? Sorry. My wife won't let me date! Lol.

Karen hit it right on the nose, build a relationship on more than just crossdressing!

Be yourself! Just like we're doing!

[sherri]

Everybody's different, but I don't think there's any need to adopt an unnatural role. That said, I know that some of us would enjoy a relationship in which the GG plays a more assertive, dominant role than might be normal in a hetero dating situation, but nothing too over the top.

[Miranda09]

Hi Cordgrass and welcome. I agree with those posted already...just be yourself, don't take on any "roles", and just get to know the individual. Everything else will come naturally. I hope it works out well for you.

[carolinoakland]

Well, you'll be two girls together. Having coffee, dinner, or what ever. Just be yourself and treat her like her. And you are a dream come true for many a cd, the worlds you're oyster sweetie. Carol

[Alicia_lynn419]

Hello and welcome! PLEASE.. just be YOU. I'll bet that's all he would want...a lady who is accepting of him... if anything, just start out as 2 girl friends. Be yourself, make him feel at ease... go with the flow.... BTW, do you have a sister? LOL!

[cordgrass]

I don't think I could quite pull off the "two girls together" thing because I'm not at all bisexual. Quite the contrary! I will be thinking about his male equipment and the contrast. I will at least try to take things slowly, however, as that seems to be the consensus.

[Nicole Erin]

Not a whole lot of GG's are interested in CD's, so I would say you kind of have your pick of the choice.

[cordgrass]

I think that might be true. This guy would normally be completely out of my league.

A technical question, reading more on this forum--I'm naturally a very sexual sort of woman and on occasion men I've been with have become arroused just being near me. What happens if a man is "tucked" and gets an erection? Will he be in pain? I don't want to cause pain! Well at least not that sort of pain.

[Lorileah]

right now 30 people on this forum are thinking "Do you have a sister?"

If your personalities click, you won't pay much attention to the clothes anyway. Well except tho fluff her wig or touch up her lipstick before you go out to dinner

[AmandaM]

Just be yourself. If you are naturally aggressive, and he is naturally submissive. Wow! If you're both aggressive, well, don't break the bed!

[MJ]

relax enjoy your time out and talk, talk, talk. thats how you get to know someone and be honest form the get go

[Daniela76]

First off, if you do really like him, don't let him go if he thinks you don't want to be "with" him as a woman. Talk it out & work out baby steps. For straight CD's, that might be one of the biggest fantasies. Maybe you'll change your mind if you fall in love with him.

Also remember that he's still genetically male. He's still going to think like a guy sometimes, which it sounds like you want in some ways. But we guys can be jerks sometimes. Remember to talk sweetly to him when he does that.

Also the turning him on issue? Ask him how he feels about it and whether it hurts him or not. It all depends on how well he tucks & his size. And how tight his clothes are. You should probably ask him to wear something loose like a skirt the first time you meet if you are worried about that.

[Melanie R]

Where do you live? I am happily married but have a CD friend who would be the perfect catch for any woman interested in being with a CD. Jaye is handsome as a woman and beautiful as Jayme with a personality to match.

[cordgrass]

First off, if you do really like him, don't let him go if he thinks you don't want to be "with" him as a woman. Talk it out & work out baby steps. For straight CD's, that might be one of the biggest fantasies. Maybe you'll change your mind if you fall in love with him.

I can totally relate to him as a woman (in a man's body), that's part of the draw. I just can't relate to him as a woman in a woman's body, if that makes any sense. It's hard to explain. On the one hand, say things work out and we did live together, I would have no problem whatsoever with him dressing and acting 24/7 as a woman, including in bed. Especially in bed! On the other hand, if he decided to go further and take hormones and get breast implants, I'd be out of there.

Maybe it's an issue I have with the "girls together" phrasing, it's hard to explain. A "girls together" activity to me means a lamentable lack of boys in the picture. In other words, boring. But throw male genitalia in the mix, no matter how frou frou and covered with satin (in fact much better frou frou and covered in satin), and the activity suddenly becomes very interesting. Does that make any sense at all?

[cordgrass]

Where do you live? I am happily married but have a CD friend who would be the perfect catch for any woman interested in being with a CD. Jaye is handsome as a woman and beautiful as Jayme with a personality to match.

I live in Boston. But this man is seriously ideal.

[Vickie_CDTV]

First off, a woman like you is one in a million And he probably understands that.

If you are unsure of what he wants, I would say just ask him. If you want to dress to impress (which is probably not strictly necessary), wear a dress or skirt and hose etc., CDs tend to like that kind of thing.

As for the tucking problem, it depends on the person since everyone's body is different, it may or may not be an issue for him. If he goes out dressed in public, I am sure he knows how to handle it and be discreet just in case.

[windycissy]

Do you have a sister in California? You'd be a dream to meet...seriously, like the other girls suggested, take it nice and slow, and if he wants to be a guy on your first few dates let it ride, the more comfortable he becomes with you the more comfortable he'll be in showing you his feminine side.

[bridget jones]

I'd love to meet you.Wanna go out?I've been looking for a woman like you.

[Celeste]

Hi,Yes I would take it slow and use the first date to feel him out.There are so many different types of cd's,for instance sex or role reversal may not be a part of it for her.I would wear something comfortable for you, yet sexy for him.Ask him what he likes to see in a woman and how he feels about portraying one.Be direct and be yourself.

[cordgrass]

Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me. I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.

[Shikyo]

Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me. I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.

I'm sure there are. Maybe not all the time but at least at some times they don't find it sexual at all.

I wouldn't say that makes them transsexuals. Myself, I'm transsexual and I think that dressing in sexy clothes(the kind of that one shouldn't be wearing outside the in public) is sexual be it me dressing into them or my wife. So it depends of what I'm wearing and for what purpose.