You sounded like a GG to me!Originally Posted by cordgrass
Well you've heard my voice, you know that's not exactly conclusive.
Before we go any further people, if you have bedroom fantasies you'd like to discuss, please PM the OP directly. You all know the rules!
Reine
Well, well, well. I watched that video. It's a good thing I have no interest in dating a transsexual. But extrapolating from that, yes, I am interested in buying a nice steak dinner for ladies I'm going to be questioning. And I'm not a moron, of course if they're dressed en femme I will use female pronouns and whatnot talking with them.
If I wanted to date a woman I could easily date a woman. It's not that hard. If women wanting to date CDers must pass some sort of purity test where they say the penis is just a garnish, well, I think that's going to narrow the field quite a bit. I'm not currently dating anybody, CD or not, and I'd rather not have to face that decision down the road. It's not like I have to stand by my man or woman, I'm not in some already existing relationship. I have full choice here. And since from what I've read here that the vast majority of CDers do not want to go down that road anyhow, where's the harm in me wanting that?
As for me being purely interested in sex, it's not that. I want to date. But sex is pretty damn important to me, and it will come up as an issue sooner rather than later in any relationship I'm in by the nature of who I am--I'm as against the social norm as being a crossdresser, possibly more so.
Oh hell, wasn't going to post this, but this is who I am:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/s...y-endings.html
And if someone says I'm a sex addict just because I'm spontaneously orgasmic and have fifty orgasms a day, I will be vexed. Maybe not as vexed as that transsexual woman, but close.
Is it so weird that a woman who can have sex like a man might want to have sex with a man who can have sex like a woman?
This whole thread is so funny, if it's not the original poster's fantasy, I'll eat my hat ....... well mayby not a hat .. will a small piece of cake suffice ?
Before we go any further people, if you have bedroom fantasies you'd like to discuss, please PM the OP directly. You all know the rules!
I just want to reiterate my intentions are honorable. If I was just interested in sex, well, let's just say it's not difficult for me to meet men. There's the curiosity factor more than anything, I think, like wanting to drive a Lamborghini. And I've done that, but men don't seem to hold my interest past the first several times, I guess because I'm looking for someone like me, someone who's seen the world from both sides.
Likewise if I just wanted to get into the panties of a CDer, that wouldn't exactly be difficult either. I had to pull my ad after being up for six hours, the response was, um, enthusiastic. And graphic, accompanied by specific plans on locations, times and potential activities.
I do want to date and spend time to get to know the person. That's why I'm here. If I didn't want to do that, I wouldn't need advice. I'm an old hand at setting up a booty call, no advice needed for that!
What? I think I've made it pretty clear that I haven't acted on this yet, aside from placing the ad, and last winter going to a drag show here in Boston. I didn't even know where the places were to go here until just a few days ago, it's not exactly known in the mainstream. You think I'm not going to go? And I assure you, the person who responded to my ad was certainly real, and sent me lovely lovely pictures, she's a knockout, but I'm a gentleman(? lady?) I'm not going to say anything more about this person than what I've already posted, people do have a right to privacy.
Or maybe you are thinking I'm not me? Or that I can't do those things? I showed Betty Dodson, and that's good enough. This argument I'm tired enough with, I don't really care anymore.
I didn't read through the whole thread, so If I repeat a link, please forgive.
http://www.jessica-who.com/2009/08/c...gender-dating/
DonnaT
I believe you have hit the mother load here. There are so many of us that are in the closet and are looking for a girl friend. Thats the first step. Most of us are not teeming with testosterone so we arent jerks. Hopefully you will meet someone from here that you can hang with as see what comes about. Most of us are not into men and only into woman and we would hope for the ultimate. That is, a woman that likes us to dress occasionally and always remembers that she has a girlfriend with the man equipment. Thats cool. By the way, speaking for myself I love going out shopping and lunch with my gg friend.
Janet
Hi Cordgrass, First and to all the rest of my fellow gurls, I have her sister. Melissa and I have been together for 4 yrs going on May 2010. We are the same size in cloths 16 and shoes, 10 1/2 or 11. I do have better fashion sense then her as she was a widow and wore nothing but black. Our first date was, I brough her venison chill an a bottle of wine, she invited me to her home. I won her over, she locked the doors on friday night and did not let me out until tuesday morning. So much for sex as a man. I told her right off the bat I was a C D she said so what I am from N Y city. you Boston. I dress almost every day in some manner, we buy cloths together panties and bra's, she steals my cloths . I love her very much for it. Have sex with her with me dressed is like, she is wild. For me a C D 's dream. Being in Boston take a ride to P town, or if you like I have a friend that gose there often. Let me know I have to undress right now as I am going to play tennis Joe/josephineP. S Melissa said if u need to talk to her about us let us know, also if u want fly down and stay with us for a couple of days to see our life.
Last edited by Josephine 1941; 12-30-2009 at 01:52 PM.
Oh my, there are CD's who don't find dressing sexual? Hmm...that would sort of defeat the point for me.I suppose they would be transexuals, correct? This is all very new to me.
Every day I read this thread and ROFL, when I see the 'buttons' being pushed, mayby ........ a little the world of CD's might be new. , but the other game afoot in this thread is a very very old one.
Marrena,
I, for one, am a crossdresser who dresses up for non-sexual reasons. I don't consider myself a transgender in the "normal" sense, i.e. I do not want to change my sex.
Yes, in the beginning, there was a sexual aspect to my dressing. I would gain arousal by putting on the clothes of the opposite sex. Then again, I was a teenager - I could get aroused looking at paint dry.
For some folks, orgasmic conditioning does occur and "cements" that behavior throughout life. For me, the sexual component simply left me after awhile. I honestly don't miss it. Now when I dress, it is more of a feeling of contentment or "rightness," if you will, that I feel.
Of course, society says that if you dress in the clothes of the opposite sex, then you are either a transvestic fetishist if you have a sexual component to your dressing, or are experiencing gender dysphoria if you do not. Me, I simply feel like me - no matter which side of the closet I get dressed from.
Kathi
I think crossdressing opens the heart, and that is very appealing to me. I have a lot of heart energy to give, and for me giving that heart energy is a very sexual feeling, even though it is centered in the chest.
But in addition, I think I would want someone who, once bedroom activities had gotten started, would find things enhanced by wearing women's lingerie. I would enjoy that a lot!But I think that I'd like a woman in the bedroom, at least some of the time.
I dated two women recently that seemed to express their openness to crossdressers, one of them seemed to love transvestites, as she told me. We are good friends, but I felt our intellectual parity was not entirely on par. A few other issues too.
Maybe I'm being finicky, but I am not going to persue a relationship with someone just because she finds guys in dresses intriguing....but it's a start!
I'd definitely say this topic went completely off the rails!!
I think the problem is that cordgrass opened up the floodgates of a topic that most of us CD's are obsessed with.
And then other people got into arguments about silly stuff.
Sorry your current match didn't work out cordgrass!
At least you're a mature woman who knows who she is and what she's looking for!
If you were just a bit younger & looking for family, I'd probably bug you a bit more.
(and no, I don't need everyone sniping at me about their conversations, it was just an observation)
If you go places where CDs hang out, don't worry. I am not sure how to say this without offending someone somewhere, but we members of the 'gender community' are fairly adapt at reading each other and know what to look for. You look unquestionably like a woman (and a very cute one at that, what a wonderful smile!) You have no prominent male facial characteristics, you have a full head of hair with a part in it (obviously no wig, no male pattern baldness or thinning), you features are sized for a female, your body is proportional, etc.
Some CDs dress for non-sexual reasons, some do it for sexual reasons, some can do it for either reason depending on what they want to accomplish (I am one of those, and I totally understand what you are saying.)
There are plenty of mermaids in the sea, and I am sure if you keep looking you will find someone special!
Cordgrass, we have a section here for people looking for friends, did you see it? Maybe a post there will help.
Nathalie, of course a girl should hold out for someone interested in her as a person, but starting off with a pool of people interested in her sexually to pick from is, I think, a good place to start.
I've posted down in the Meeting Place section and I fully intend on attending local events here in Boston. I wish there was one tonight!
Vicki, thank you for the compliments.That's also reassuring, don't want to accidentally trick anybody.
I think quite a few women find CDers intriguing, and like me would probably be even more attracted to the "non-passing" CDers. I think there are a few things that make it difficult. First, and this is the biggest one, I think most women simply assume anyone who crossdresses is gay. I certainly used to. It was only by reading Dan Savage religiously that I found out I was wrong. It would help if there was a popular romantic comedy out with a very heterosexual guy who crossdresses--
The second thing is that it's so unusual for us to come across it because y'all keep it so well hidden. From what I've read here, most of those who crossdress do it home alone, and those that do go out obsess with passing. If a crossdresser passes successfully, it means that women will be looking at her without realizing what she is. So we don't know how common it is. I think this will be a moot point for the younger generation, for example, look at this:
I guarantee you there a lots of girls who after watching that were turned on.
And third, the problem is that even if there are women who are interested in taking a walk on the wild side, you all are really hard to find. I've been interested in over a year, and the only place it occurred to me to look, a drag show, there weren't any crossdressers in the audience. If you do a google search you are inundated with tranny porn and pay sites that offer online "forced" feminisation.
There is a GREAT web that some of us are members of called FetLife. Join up[it's free] browse all the interesting fetishes,find yours,and post an introduction.New England has tons of members and you will have far better quality luck faster than here!! You won't be dissapointed with FetLife.
But in addition, I think I would want someone who, once bedroom activities had gotten started, would find things enhanced by wearing women's lingerie. I would enjoy that a lot!
It's post's like this that should be in a dating site . Are you looking to date a person or the clothes ?
Crossdressers are People ! (Soylent Green reference). We are no different then anyone else. Date the person !
Yep, this has gotten off topic, and back to one persons fantasy.
Kelly
Christ Almighty, are women not allowed to have sexual fetishes? WTF?I have a friend who's a male dominant, and he mostly dates women from within the BDSM community. But just because he tries to date submissives doesn't mean he isn't interested in a serious relationship and trying to find Ms. Right. Why is it okay for him to do that and not okay for me to go to TG events and try to meet girls?
Hi Cordgras. Personally I see nothing wrong with you going to a TG event to meet people, for whatever reason. That's what this site is all about, meeting people if the opportunity arises. What happens after that is no ones business.
Miranda, I think this site is about much more than that. It is primarily for encouragement and support, in moving beyond the closet and the purely sexual aspect of CDing. I'm not saying the fetish CDs are not welcome here, they are, but not if they want to use the site as a platform for their fantasies.
Cordgrass you are very outspoken and I find it refreshing. You are helping TGs to see there are GGs out there who are interested and hopefully your posts will help some individuals become more confident in themselves. But, it appears as if you are primarily interested in fetish CDs and although you are welcome to continue to be a member here, the suggestion to join FetLife to look for partners is a good one. It is a good site.
But please understand that many TGs identify as women even if they are not transsexual and they do not wish to be objectified. Many of you might roll your eyes while reading this, and I understand why Cordgrass' viewpoint might be offensive to some people. So Cordgrass and those of you who are interested, I would encourage you to PM if your focus is on sex. This way the threads will not inadvertently take on the dating/fetish/sexual flavor that we wish to avoid in this forum. As you pointed out, there are plenty other online places for this.
Reine
Yep I knew it was only a matter of timeAs much as we all are titillated with your planned adventures The fact remains that someone has to Reine
us in for our own good. It's time to submit to the moderators good sense and move on
Well this is the sort of thing I need to know. So then I shouldn't go to TG events because those primarily attract CDers who think of themselves as women and they would be offended by sexual objectification? And instead should use that other website to find local interested parties?
It's very confusing, because, for example, in the picture galleries members tell each other how hot and sexy they look etc. and it's kind of hard to not think that a person isn't trying to be a sex object when wearing, say, thigh-high boots and a miniskirt.
At any rate, I'll stop with the posting, and my apologies to anyone I've offended.I'm just ignorant, that's all, didn't know the right places to go online to find out more. I don't regret posting here because I have gotten up to speed on a lot of things I'm going to need to know, and I thank you all.
*lurks*
Jenna, I'm not saying this thread has to end. Just asking for the sexual details to be kept private. This is not from a moralistic point of view. We all like to fantasize and we all enjoy sex. But it is a slippery slope and it can far to easily take us away from our primary goal of support. Not everyone knows how to be subtle or how to talk about sex in a non-explicit manner.Yep I knew it was only a matter of time
EDIT Didn't see your post.
It's hard to tell. I think some members would like meet-ups, and for others it is just validation.
No, please don't stop posting. I was attempting to let you know the various mindsets on this site. There is much more than what first meets the eye. You are always welcome to post your questions and observations!At any rate, I'll stop with the posting, and my apologies to anyone I've offended.
If you do begin a relationship with a TG, it would be good to read your observations. So many members here feel there is no one who would be interested in them.
Last edited by ReineD; 12-31-2009 at 02:16 PM.
Reine
Standing back from the specifics for a moment, Cordgrass does make a good point that those of us who enjoy both of our gender presentations (personalities?) don't exactly advertise in the New York Times society section! Mores the pity! Now, I'm happily married, but for those of us who aren't the public venues for meeting women interested in men who happen to be transgendered are vanishingly small. To meet for the first time en femme even smaller!
We've all talked about the issues of becoming interested in a potential spouse only to run up against the wall of having to "tell about our feminine side". Wouldn't it be so much easier if that feminine side were out there from the start? There are so many threads here that talk about all the positive qualities of us who embrace both genders. Maybe it's that message that we need to get out somehow so that our existence as safe, sane, desireable, heterosexual CD/TV/whatevers is more readily known and understood.
Meanwhile, welcome Cordgrass! My wife is completely heterosexual and Tina and she are wonderful girlfriends. We were already married a long time before we discovered Tina so we never "dated" as girlfriends. My advice is very simple: communicate. Treat your newly met CD as a girlfriend and talk, talk, talk. Find out about each other at all levels and I'm sure you'll quickly know which path to take!
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful experience!!
tina
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