Well, several years ago I told my wife about my desire to CD. Needless to say, she didn't take it do well. After a few months she gave me a 6 page letter stating that I could stop this or she would take the girls and leave. She didn't want people to find out because it would cost me my job. And they would all be embarrassed. So I acted without putting any thought to it, other than on my family. Where it should be.
Before I told her about Paula, we talked about fantisies. I ask her to buy me some panties and she did. Let me wear them and all, she just ask that I keep them in her drawer so the girls wouldn't find out. She even bought me some other items. Panties sleep tops, etc. Just s few things. She said that it took away my masculinty, and she didn't know what to think about that.
So back to the story, I know that I overwhelmed her when I showed her the things that I had bought over the years. And I wasn't prepared to answer those questions. I had a book that I let her read, "my husband wears my clothes". She said that she read part of it. I really don't know. Anyway after this I was given the ultimatum, Stop or we are gone!
I stopped for a few years. Now after I feel off the wagon.. LoL I found this site, and a lot of helpful stories. I would love to talk to her about this again. But I can't! It's like if the subject is ever mentioned about a guy wearing women's clothes. She just smarts off about it. Or laughs and I think she is secretly laughing at me. I just don't want yo loose my family... But I don't want yo hide anything from my wife. She said before as long as I was open with her that we could compromise. Well after the ultimatum I felt pushed right back into the closet. I ordered a panty and bra set from the net, thinking I would be there when they arrived. I was gone and she got them. Called me really angry. And so the arguememt was on. Ending with hurt feelings and her telling me that she didn't want me buying "that stuff" anymore.
You know I'd love to be back to getting a little room of acceptance. But I just can't figure out how to bring it up. I really want to just love her, and be "the MAN" she married. But I CD! And like it. I don't want to become a woman. I don't want to be with anybody else. I just want her to love all of me. Not just what she wants of me. I have been with her for 20 years, and she isn't perfect, but I live with those things. And some of the things she does, I hate to the core. But she doesn't stop or change. SO!
Why Can't I???
