Christmas Disappointment

[Mercedes]

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I am always saddened that my Wife, who truly loves me will not get me what I desire most for Christmas. Anything for Mercedes would be so appreciated and I would be overwhelmed even for something small like a lipstick or pair of panties.

I know that she does not like my crossdressing and falls into the out of site out of mind category but still the recognition of that part of myself would mean so much.

I do not know how the GG's feel about this but sometimes a small gesture can have a very impressive impact.

Mercedes XOXOXO

[Vicki-Z]

Anything for Mercedes would be so appreciated and I would be overwhelmed even for something small like a lipstick or pair of panties.

I know that she does not like my crossdressing and falls into the out of site out of mind category but still the recognition of that part of myself would mean so much.

I do not know how the GG's feel about this but sometimes a small gesture can have a very impressive impact.

Mercedes XOXOXO

I totally agree with you. As I told my wife the greatest gift she could ever give me is to recognize my feminine side Vicki. As you said any gift even the smallest can mean so much.


Vicki

[Acadeca]

I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted. But it sounds like she's tolerating your dressing even though she doesn't like it. Did she know about the CD when you two married? If not, try to appreciate how hard it is for her to do that.

[DanaR]

Sometimes it takes awhile, at least it did for my wife. We would be shopping and I would ask her if we could find something for Dana, and she would be okay with that. Now we go out all of the time and she'll ask me if I was looking for anything special; if I am I'll tell her and we'll go looking for it. When I first started asking, it was difficult for me to ask; I thought that she might get upset, but she didn't.

[Nicole Erin]

Why do people make threads like this?
I mean I agree with the OP that a small gesture like that would be cool but let's see how long it takes before the "clique" starts in on her about how shameful she should feel.

I can already imagine it -

"what makes you think your wife should, etc...."
"If you were my husband you would be lucky to not be on the street"
"How can you expect your wife to buy this or that...?"

And then along will come TG Miss butt-kiss to quote something a GG said and say "I couldn't have said it better".

And on and on people attacking the OP, but if the OP defends herself, the thread will get locked.

Am I right or am I right? Or am I right? (crosses eyes and makes weird face and says "right right right right")

[Karren H]

Be happy that she loves you...

[tinalynn]

I couldn't have said it better...

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I can already imagine it -

"what makes you think your wife should, etc...."

......if she's not accepting

"How can you expect your wife to buy this or that...?"

....if she wants to keep it out of sight and out of mind.

And then along will come TG Miss butt-kiss to quote something a GG said and say "I couldn't have said it better".

TG Miss butt-kiss here. Look, if she's not accepting she's probably not going to want to buy things for Mercedes, so that means that Mercedes needs to communicate and work on helping her wife understand "This Thing of Ours of Varying Kinds" If that happens then she might buy things for Mercedes and everyone is happier.

Veronica Rogers

[Tuesday]

all i can say is my wife forgot to buy anything for my fem side and i was a bit upset but not as upset as she was when she realised i thought she was telling me something but turns out she just forgot

[Sandra]

I know that she does not like my crossdressing and falls into the out of site out of mind category but still the recognition of that part of myself would mean so much.

I do not know how the GG's feel about this but sometimes a small gesture can have a very impressive impact.

Mercedes XOXOXO

If she feels like this then shes not going to show any recognition and certainly isn't going to buy fem stuff for you.

If I felt like she does then I wouldn't go buying stuff for my SO.

I suggest that you try and have a chat with her about how you feel, but don't push the issue...and of course you could see if she would like to join here and chat with other wives/partners like myself in FAB forum.

[RylieCD]

Why do people make threads like this?

I understand Mercedes, I wish for the same thing. But I understand that my wife does not want any part of that life and I try to respect that but there is always the wishful thinking that one day she will suprise you and get you what you want, recognition of you.
Sure we would all like to have a fully accepting wife like we read here but at least we have a somwhat tolerating one even though they dont want to recognize it, they will tolerate it.

We post here to for support, Yes some threads may get out of hand but I feel the mods do a good job at keeping the peace

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

I'm sorry for your disappointment Mercedes. Maybe time will tell. Just concentrate on being the perfect spouse in every other way in the meantime.

[Brandi Wyne]

Well, we live a lifestyle that is fraught with disappointments and a few triumphs. I guess one can live with hope of a better day.

Sorry,
Barb

[Aquamarine]

Mercedes, I am a GG , not the best supportive wife on the forum.I offered to my husband nice male presents for Christmas and hid a lacy pink underwear under his pillow as a surprise.I really want him to be happy and respect his needs, at least I try....He appreciated the surprise but told me "I won't wear it, I am not interested anymore because you hate this part of me".I don't hate this part of him...I hate that he hides it all the time ,denies it, minimizes it, acts as it is in My head.... Miscommunication......How could I accept something I don't know what it is for him???

[Mistybtm]

I must have made Santa mad this year i did not get anything not even a lump of coal.

[stargirlGG]

Mercedes...

This is the first Christmas that I bought my BF mainly gifts for her. It was very strange wrapping nighties, etc. for my boyfriend even though I am totally supportive and encourage the whole thing. It was a little strange, I think, because my buying gifts for her for christmas validated her as a real presence in my life and made it seem real on a whole different level. I know that she's as much of a part of him and he is, but actually wrapping presents for her really made her an actual entity on her own, if that makes sense. So, i can imagine that if your wife is struggling with acceptance, buying and wrapping gifts for Mercedes might be emotionally very difficult for her. As much as it would mean to you, maybe she just can't do it for a lot of reasons of her own which are just as valid as your need for validation. I'm as accepting as anyone could be, I think anyway, and these little things that bring the reality of the situation home are still a little uncomfortable to deal with on some levels. try not to be too dissapointed because it probably wasn't her intentionally trying to disrespect that part of you. She is who she is as much as you are who you are. Relationshiops are complicated enough without putting expectations on each other. Good luck.

[DanaR]

Mercedes, I am a GG , not the best supportive wife on the forum.I offered to my husband nice male presents for Christmas and hid a lacy pink underwear under his pillow as a surprise.I really want him to be happy and respect his needs, at least I try....He appreciated the surprise but told me "I won't wear it, I am not interested anymore because you hate this part of me".I don't hate this part of him...I hate that he hides it all the time ,denies it, minimizes it, acts as it is in My head.... Miscommunication......How could I accept something I don't know what it is for him???

He probably doesn't know either. I think that communication is the key to try to understand each other. I mentioned this on another thread, that sometimes the words and body language don't always say the same thing; which can be confusing, at least for me.

[kristinacd55]

My wife's somewhat like that too, but last night we went to Lord & Taylors for the 2nd after Xmas clearance & once again we bought a top for me! I'm always grateful for any small acknowledgement and I even modeled it for her last night. Anyway Mercedes perhaps one day she'll come around & begin to accept.

[docrobbysherry]

"How can you expect your wife to buy this or that...?"

(GREAT POST, NicoleE!)

Do u know HOW MANY different brands and shades of lipstick there R?

And, how many styles, fit, colors, and fabrics PANTIES COME IN?

She KNOWS THESE THINGS! And, that she'd almost CERTAINLY buy u the WRONG THING!?

[Karen564]

I think some things are best left unspoken..and Xmas disappointments are one of them..

Christmas is about giving, not receiving..

[Karren H]

I must have made Santa mad this year i did not get anything not even a lump of coal.

Awww.... Coal sales are down... Just let me know where you want the truck to deliver some? Lol.

[Toni]

Hi Mercedes,
One of the nicest days of my life was when my wife came in from shopping and handed me a lovely pair of panties. It was so unexpected that I was walking on air for days. I hope you can have the same experience sooner rather than later.

[sherri52]

I'm sorry that you didn't get anything Mercedes but there is a bright side. You are not in a battle with you wife over the inner you.

[sandra-leigh]

I think some things are best left unspoken..and Xmas disappointments are one of them..

Christmas is about giving, not receiving..

Lonliness. It can happen even inside of relationships, if there is a persistent pattern of little or no expression of recognition and appreciation.

[Mistybtm]

Awww.... Coal sales are down... Just let me know where you want the truck to deliver some? Lol.

Thank you Karren I will nice to know someone cares LOL