came out to g/f

[rhondamichelle]

Hello all,

First, I'd like to wish everyone on the forum a happy, prosperous, and healthy New Year

I haven't posted in awhile, what with being caught up in the holiday season and all, so it is with a joyous heart that I compose this post. Thanks to all the wonderful advice and support provided by this forum, last night I came out to a woman very dear to me whom I had previously, out of fear, sent away from me. Circumstances brought us back together after Christmas and with much hemming and hawing, I summoned the courage to reveal Rhonda to her. She was patient and understanding as I stumbled through "the discussion" and then she thoughtfully and tactfully probed for a better understanding of all things Rhonda. Once satisfied, she assured me that this was an area she would be willing to explore with me, and, echoing the advice from this forum, I assured her the journey would be gradual and at a pace that was comfortable for both of us. Needless to say, I have received a Christmas present far greater than I could ever have hoped for, the acceptance and support from a woman for whom I have admiration and respect and so the journey begins....

Best regards,

Rhonda Michelle

[Sandra]

This is good to hear hun

Just remember to take it slow and be as honest as you can when she asks any questions, and don't expect her to be ok all the time with it, she may have some off days, but talk with her when these happen and reassure her.

If she needs any support or wants to chat with other SOs, you might like to let her know about the FAB forum we have here just for wives/partners

[Miranda09]

That's really wonderful Rhonda. She's sounds like a real sweetie. Looks ike it's going to be a mighty fine New Year for the both you.

[carolinoakland]

good start, but do, do, do, respect her boundaries and do not, do not, do not push them. it'll be great if you do... Carol

[Lorileah]

Always good to hear how our loved ones are willing to walk through this with us. This is a great story and I wish you all the happiness you can have. It can be a marvelous journey.

[Shelly Preston]

That's great news Rhonda

Glad to hear the advice from the forum has helped

Maybe you could suggest she join this forum to help her with any questions she does not want to ask you

[melissacd]

I wish you all the best on your journey with her

[joandher]

What great news!! now its time to pay back with perhaps a big bunch of flowers as a thank you for the best present any cder could wish for

have a great new year:

J-JAY

[Kayla Shadows]

The girls have some good advice here.This was all very pleasant to read Rhonda.Its wonderful news.I hope you both have a very happy new year and I wish you beautiful things in the year to come. xo ~K~

[Samantha Girl]

That is sooo great Rhonda! Congrats for having the courage to come out to her! And I hope it continues to go well for you and your girl in the new year

[sherri52]

Good for you Rhonda. Let us hope it is a very long journey.

[rhondamichelle]

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I am taking it slow and as it's still in its' "nebulous" stage we'll just have to see where it goes. However, I have stayed true to last years' resolution that, as long as I was single, I would not consider a long-term relationship without that person first knowing, and at least be willing to learn about, all things Rhonda. I would rather live alone than live a lie. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and paying attention to all the good advice from this forum.

Hugs,

Rhonda Michelle

[DaisyG]

Rhonda,

Your posts show you are on the right track.

Always remember, frequent discussion about who Rhonda is and who she needs to be is necessary in maintaining the high level of trust that is central to all good marriages. Trust enough that neither your GF nor you need worry about what’s the next surprise. And trust that what was agreed as off-limits remains just that - - off-limits, until/if renegotiated.

Above all, have patience. There’s little that absolutely must happen tomorrow or next week. There’ll be time. After all, good marriages can last for decades - - for 30, 40, 50 years. The rewards last even longer.

I wish you and your GF decades of happiness.

Daisy

[mistressofpuppets]

I have wondered a lot of late how many walls were between myself and Doll because of his fears of being accepted if he explored any part of his 'different' interests, and even of self-acceptance. Once the initial "hmm... would this be too weird?" was broached without me freaking out, things snowballed a bit, and it was a little unsettling occasionally, but it's amazing how much more at ease he seems and how some barriers to emotional connections are dropping. I'm glad he was able to find this out and express it with me, and I think it's been a great bonding experience.
(Its hard to be mad at someone who'll hot roll your hair. There's a reason all those girly parties end up with makeovers.)

I think we spend so much energy on hiding anything that might be offensive or lessen other's acceptance of us that it drains us and doesn't leave enough for building good things in our lives. It's hard to live your life trying to keep most of the real you covered up so you fit in, and so the ones you love will keep loving you. If you can open up like this to her over this, she'll remember it later when problems happen and it will be a source of trust all around.

[rhondamichelle]

Hi to all on the forum,

A little over a week has passed so I thought I would post this update. After much discussion and her having some time to contemplate things, it was decided we would remain friends but her object for a long-term relationship would be someone more totally male and not into cd'ing. I respect her feelings and most of all, her honesty regarding this. She told me that she would be willing to help with shopping, make-up tips, etc., which I gratefully accepted as we started out being friends and she is the only gg friend I have that I can discuss these things with face-to-face. So once again I embark on a search for a lifelong companion who will totally accept me for who and what I am. Where this path leads I know not, but I will move forward and with a greater knowledge and confidence that this experience has brought me.

Hugs to all my sisters here,

Rhonda Michelle

[Sandra]

Awww I'm sorry to hear this. I do hope you can stay good friends.

[Shelly Preston]

Sorry to hear it has not worked out as well as you hoped

Lets hope you can remain friends

[rhondamichelle]

Yes, we have agreed to remain friends and she also offered to help with shopping, make-up, etc., she just couldn't wrap up her psyche around having a cd'er as a permanent long-term type relationship. That is not difficult to understand as this is a small, narrow-minded, and conservative community so for her to have anything to do with a cd'er is just this short of astounding. Most of all I respect her honesty as she has respected mine so I guess mutual respect is a good basis for a friendship...plus she wears the same size shoes I do...woohoo!

Rhonda Michelle