Illusion and Truth

[carolinoakland]

I think that you are speaking more to the cd crowd on this one, I second Zenith on this one, once I realized that the male WAS the illusion my life got so less complicated, and anxcious. Carol

[vikki2020]

I'm kid of loosing the illusion part of it, as vikki is becoming more and more there on a regular basis. Dressing is still the cherry on top, but the "inside" part is getting stronger all the time. And, I'm really liking that this is how it's going!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The fact that soooo many people here use the P word tends to reinforce what she said. One of the definitions of the P word is to present that which is not real. Otherwise put an illusion. The fact that many solely base thier appearance upon thier physical appearance also reinforces what she said. The fact of the matter is that what makes a woman (or man) is what is in thier heart and minds.

That truely is the REAL secret to being accepted. First step is self acceptance and then an understanding that 70% of the worlds acceptance has nothing to do with your physical appearance. If you make it to that point you no longer think about the P word. You are who you are and you walk with confidence and the world then pays you the respect you EARNED!

I have a feeling that what I said makes no sense to many here but then I also assume what the original post said also makes no sense to many.

Be yourself and be proud of whatever you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Katie

If you want to be accepted as a woman, I would argue that waaaaay more than 70% IS APPEARANCE, not the other way around..

if you don't appear to be female on the outside, then you may be accepted but you will find it hard to be accepted as a woman..

superficially passing gives us a much better chance to really be accepted as who we are, and I view being accepted as a woman being significantly more affirming and enjoyable than being accepted as a transsexual that presents as a woman...its totally different to me

However, its always true as you say that you need to be yourself and be proud, and by feeling this way about yourself, you are earning the acceptance you need to survive( whether superficially passing, not passing and everything in between.)

QUOTE
As others have said, gender is irrevelent. I am not trying to trick of fool anyone, just trying to be myself;
UNQUOTE

I think its hard to argue gender is irrelevant...everything that is incoming, the info, the needs, the feelings are all experienced through a gender filter...its just the way it is and it HAS TO BE IMPORTANT!!! otherwise, why we would all be here spending all this time to figure ourselves out??? i think our identities themselves must have a gender...our biological identites if you will..

i have seen this first hand in my short transition experience...it is totally and fundamentally different to take in everything mostly being accepted as female...it just can't be irrelevant... just my 2 cents on that...

[MJ]

the male was the illusion in my case i am marissa

[Misty is Kindafem]

At the risk of feeding a troll, I will add my

Paige is hardly a troll, rather, she's a friendly and supportive woman who actually finds some of us to be sexy and desirable.

How many women are willing to come on this board, POST A PIC, and admit their attraction to cross dressing men?

We have barely a handful of those angels around here and lately I'm beginning to wonder why they continue to endure the general bitchiness that seems to "pass" for discourse here these days.

-Misty

[rhondamichelle]

I accept and embrace both sides of my persona, and preserve the best of both when presenting as one or the other. Outside I am him or her, inside we are one.

Rhonda Michelle

[melissacd]

The truth is in fact the thing that most probably you would call an illusion. My most authentic self was discovered here. I came here in 2004 to cure myself of what at that time I thought was a disease "cross dressing", but in the end discovered that cross dressing was my truth, that my authentic self was in fact starting to emerge. This is not about men becoming women or women becoming men, this is about each and every one of us facing ourselves in the mirror and acknowledging who we really are.

[steftoday]

Paige is hardly a troll, rather, she's a friendly and supportive woman who actually finds some of us to be sexy and desirable.

How many women are willing to come on this board, POST A PIC, and admit their attraction to cross dressing men?

We have barely a handful of those angels around here and lately I'm beginning to wonder why they continue to endure the general bitchiness that seems to "pass" for discourse here these days.

-Misty

well said, Misty. we all can use some care, compassion and support, and sometimes people here get a chip on their shoulder over the slightest thing...

[AmandaM]

When I dress completely, as much to the nines as possible (hence my tag line), I step through the looking glass. I become what I see. I feel the magic. I feel one with myself. I feel female. I am the true me. Somehow, the illusion gels with my inner soul.

Oops, don't want to forget. I got a big can of whoop-butt for anyone who harms the GG ladies here! LOL

[suchacutie]

So glad you are here Paige, and you have certainly raised a variety of responses from your poetic seed. It is interesting that one of the most popular books on transforming to a feminine presentation is entitled "Art and Illusion". I bought my copy 2 years ago and it is now out of print and the used copies are going for $80 on Amazon! I should open another thread about that alone!

After rereading your post, it occurs to me that dressing in any way is illusion. For those of us with an internal feminine being in a male body it would be incongruous to act, talk, and present psychologically in a feminine manner without going the rest of the way. If we are truly representing the femininity within, is it not consistent to present that femininity in all ways? If we are to learn what it is like to grow up as a girl (a process no boy experiences) then what part should we leave out? We can't know what makeup is like, the weight of breasts, pajama parties, chit chatting with girlfriends and all the rest, positive and negative, without experiencing it all.

Sure, outwardly is could be called illusion. We change from our external birth self, and we change from the socialization we learned as boys. The more we experience, the closer we come to understanding. "Understanding" means something different to each one of us. That road to understanding starts with experimentation with what we find within us, goes through a metamophosis, and comes out with a person who feels that the "illusion" is no longer foreign, but is a part of who they are, and, thus, is an "illusion" no longer.

I've probably gone on too long, but thank you for your post.

tina

[Paige.]

I want to extend my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to those who have responded and restored my faith in the family I have found here. I feel I am part of this weird community and yesterday when I was labeled a troll it stung and it cut to suggest that I thought you were acting dishonestly. I have never met a group that is more honest with themselves and that really was the point of my post. I didn't realize I had to be extra diligent with semantics.

Although I didn't specify, my original post was directed primarily to CD's and was meant to compliment. So many of your posts have said what I was unable to articualte clearly. I am not a CD and it is difficult sometimes to understand your feeling and how you all think. It order to do that I don't need to need to stay inside my own element. I know what is there and it is beautiful. For those not there I hope you discover it. I too am discovering myself and my capacity to love. As you know it isn't always easy to find love coming back but what you put out is what is returned.

My soul sings. Thank you Tina, Kaitlyn, Misty, Vikki, Carol, Jane, Melissa, Amanda, Sally, Kayla, Paula, Phyliss, Elaine, Katie, Persephone and Rachael for you insightful input. I hope I didn't miss any of you. You all understand what I was trying to say, however clumsily, and you said it better than I. May you all create your inner joy and manifest it in the outer world.

[Rianna Humble]

If my opening remarks earlier in this thread have caused distress, I sincerely apologise. At the point I responded I was not sure whether or not the original post was sincere. Had I have been convinced of insincerity, I should not have responded at all.

I hope that the rest of my post can be accepted as the thoughtful response it was intended to be.

The difficulty with written words is that they tend to be interpreted semantically as we do not have the accompanying non-verbal communication to aid in understanding the intention behind the words.

[luvgirlyclothes]

Great Paige, You truly have a way with words and thoughts

ps and you are a very attractive women.....inside and out

[Wen4cd]

Paige, I did have to read your post several times to fully understand that it was meant as a compliment. It's not your fault. You're just touching the sensitive core of several things we struggle with ourselves, and as a result, there's a lot of 'hot button' language mixed in with the post.

Phrases like 'cover up the true gender, identity' for example... I know your post is subjected 'truth' or else I would have balked, since what most of us feel we are doing is exactly the opposite, and this almost implies a delusion of sorts. And since there really is no 'true gender' to cover up, it sets off a paradox that people react to.

The truth is, in things like identity, that there is no discernible difference between what someone "believes" they are and what they "really" are. It's the same exact thing. "Belief" creates, and is synonymous with, truth and reality. If someone believes they are 'female on the inside,' then they actually are female on the inside, in any plane you could consider reality.

That's why I love this crazy identity world I play in. We don't create "illusions" as much as we create reality itself, and it's amazing and wonderful.

The real alchemy and magic isn't performed at the make-up table, it's performed in the psyche, and in the static air between the eye and the mirror, between the subject and the object, and betwen the heart and the head.

[KateW]

I get what you are saying but I think this is true of all women. They use makeup to enhance their appearance, padded bras, waist clinchers, high heels to look taller, control tights etc. We are just doing the same as them.

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="2"]Paige, I agree with your thread, and have given thought to whether my cding, is magic, illusion, or disguise, costume, yada, yada. Phyliss' post said it well, for me, too. One thing is for sure: my voice does not pass, and any effort, is really magic, or illusion! I wish there was a fruit juice, or gum, or lozenge, that could give ladylike voice. I do agree that every person puts on a false self illusion, at least some. Wasn't there a song by Roger Whitaker, years ago, "I don't believe in if any more. Ifs an illusion."[/SIZE]

[Ze]

We also must remember that "illusion" and "reality" may take on completely opposite meanings depending on whether we're regarding a CD or a TG. One's creating an illusion of gender, the other's fighting for the reality of it.

[GaleWarning]

That's funny!

I'm a CDer who couldn't care less about creating any illusion ...

I'm not a TG person, yet I am happy to fight for the rights of those who wish to create a different kind of reality.

Go figure ...

[Sweet Jane]

i don't believe its a ts/cd/tg/non tg/ or whatever issue, nor does it's validity vary within any of these groups......everyone presents an 'outward' appearance to the world, and in most cases its the 'illusion' they wish to present

we have all seen the minister/priest who aren't what they portray, the criminal who is finally caught and they've been great community members...the list could go on forever, down to hair dye or wrinkle cream to emo and punk...

everyone, and i mean everyone, creates an illusion, a way they want the world to view them....sometimes it matches their personality/values/gender etc perfectly, more often its at odds...

[docrobbysherry]

U mite be rattling SOME FOLK'S cages, Paige!

But, I freely admit to using every trick I know, to create a creditable female illusion.
The MORE Sherry does NOT resemble me, the BETTER!

And, for me at least, Sherry IS an illusion! Just as she is for others who view her! And, THAT'S the truth!

[Wen4cd]

Persona means 'mask.'

[Sarah Doepner]

Illusion is a tool that gives me the time and space to be who I really need to be. It allows me to pass through a different environment with some freedom and safety. Of course it's an illusion and if I do it correctly others may be able to join me in that illusion, thereby reinforcing and supporting my flexible representation of gender.

[Kate Simmons]

We use the word illusion to convey that things are not what they seem but perhaps adjustment would be a better term to describe what we do. Sometimes we have to make adjustments to feel comfortable in our own skin.

[sherri52]

I joind this site to become a better magican. I want to give a better illusion and where can i find a better place to learn.

[frisbee_girl]

everyone presents an 'outward' appearance to the world, and in most cases its the 'illusion' they wish to present
....

everyone, and i mean everyone, creates an illusion, a way they want the world to view them....sometimes it matches their personality/values/gender etc perfectly, more often its at odds...

Indeed. I think a goal in life is to narrow the gap between what we perceive ourselves to be and what we present to the 'world'.

I put world in quotes because I think it's possible for just one person to represent the world. That is, if you can be your true self around just one person, then you've accomplished more in life than most.