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Thread: How does crossdressing affect your sex life?

  1. #1
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
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    How does crossdressing affect your sex life?

    For me, once I got into my twenties and I was married and dressing as often as I could behind my ex-wife back, I became much less interested in sex with her. My total turn on became wearing her clothes and becoming the real me. I found relief mostly through masturbation while looking at my pretty reflection in the mirror. It got to the point that she'd try and turn me on in bed, but I wasn't able to do much as I'd probably had sex alone a few times that day.

    I'm sure that was one of the major factors in our break up, and I can't say as I blame her a bit. If I knew where she was today, I'd apologize to her. I know now I was obsessed with crossdressing, and I still may be. The big difference is that my wife now is very accepting of it, so I'm well out of the closet.

    So if anyone else has been through something like this, I'd like to hear your story. I think it will help some of the other girls here who might be in the same position.

    Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    there's an old joke that goes

    something like, "If you're bisexual you've automatically doubled your chances."

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member kimmy p's Avatar
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    It's not allowed to. I am allowed to wear what I want every where else including bed time. But when it comes to the "marriage bed" I'm all guy. I have to admit that there is some skimpy lingerie that I would kill to try, but I will not make my wife uncomfortable.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    You might be interested in reading this thread as well, in the Loved ones section.

    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=116295
    Last edited by Tamara Croft; 01-09-2010 at 12:16 PM. Reason: please pm her gm forum threads...
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  5. #5
    Member Marcie R.'s Avatar
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    Crossdressing and sexual activity

    My feelings are exactly as you discribed it Karen. I also lost my interest in sexual activity with my wife when I seriously started to engage in crossdressing. I also love admiring myself while dressed enfemme and relieve my sexual desires by myself. I am still married to a wonderful woman that has no idea of my crossdressing. We get along great, living similar to brother and sister with no sexual contact. She never had great sexual desires all her life and is quite happy to carry on as we are doing. My crossdressing remains in the closet and comes to life when she is out of the house for a long period of time.
    Love Marcie R.

  6. #6
    Member Tanya83's Avatar
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    I love it! My gf encourages me to wear what ever I want and it really does add to the erotic pleasure. ;-)
    Life's too short to not do the things that make you happy.

  7. #7
    Sweetheart MissAmy's Avatar
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    I don't have a sex life so I can't say

  8. #8
    New Member OliviaLB's Avatar
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    Has definitely introduced something more to my relationship with my wife. She is completely supportive and in fact I am certain she gets a big turn on by it.

  9. #9
    Dress Me Up & Take Me Out MarcieBflo's Avatar
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    You are not alone, "google" autogynephilia, have to admit after spending hours of reading I was at first shocked, but then felt so much better after understanding why I like to CD.
    Life is Beautiful . . . . Dress Accordingly

  10. #10
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StarrOfDelite View Post
    something like, "If you're bisexual you've automatically doubled your chances."
    I know what you mean but I still prefer to be alone for sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by kimmy p View Post
    It's not allowed to. I am allowed to wear what I want every where else including bed time. But when it comes to the "marriage bed" I'm all guy. I have to admit that there is some skimpy lingerie that I would kill to try, but I will not make my wife uncomfortable.
    You have to understand her desires too. Good for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marcie R. View Post
    My feelings are exactly as you discribed it Karen. I also lost my interest in sexual activity with my wife when I seriously started to engage in crossdressing. I also love admiring myself while dressed enfemme and relieve my sexual desires by myself. I am still married to a wonderful woman that has no idea of my crossdressing. We get along great, living similar to brother and sister with no sexual contact. She never had great sexual desires all her life and is quite happy to carry on as we are doing. My crossdressing remains in the closet and comes to life when she is out of the house for a long period of time.
    Love Marcie R.
    I'm glad to know it's worked out well for both of you I can and do dress in front of her, and she's totally supportive. I'm even less into sex with others when I'm dressed up.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tanya83 View Post
    I love it! My gf encourages me to wear what ever I want and it really does add to the erotic pleasure. ;-)
    Then you and she have the perfect relationship. I'm so glad.

    Quote Originally Posted by MarcieBflo View Post
    You are not alone, "google" autogynephilia, have to admit after spending hours of reading I was at first shocked, but then felt so much better after understanding why I like to CD.
    Thanks, I'll look into it.


    And thanks to you all for your open and honest responses.

    Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  11. #11
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonianne View Post
    You might be interested in reading this thread as well, in the Loved ones section.

    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=116295
    Thanks for the thread, but I don't have a problem like that.

    Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  12. #12
    Member Terri Andrews's Avatar
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    Thanks for your honest thoughts ,With my first wife ,i was like you ,but with my present , my cd`ing has enhanced our bed time ,I can not remember when we had any "dude Time "in bed .
    I prefer it that way and she says it is better for her ,so we both are happier .
    Of course at my age it is almost a moot point .

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Yvonne York's Avatar
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    Well, as my lovely wife re-introduced me to dressing a few years ago, I have to say it has helped make an already great sex life even better. She is fully supportive, with me dressing at night, or around the house, and buys me lingerie, and helps me shop. I am not sure she would want me en femme all the time, but what we have is great, and if that's what other girls want, I hope it is the same for you.

  14. #14
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    My sex drive has simply gone further south as my sissyfication progresses. I'm not in it for the sexual pleasure. On the otherhand my wife now enjoys all the pleasures that she demands from her sissy. I think it's a win win situation. I simply love being a frilly sissy and getting that warm fuzzy glow from being all frilly is enough for me. I get as much pleasure from satisfying my wife as she does. She still turns me on but in other ways.
    'Traditional' intercourse is now rare for us. But neither of us miss it. If I had my way I would be rid of my silly little male bits. But the wife loves them and likes to make use of them in otherways. They are her 'toys'. Given a choice though I would rather be a sissy male than be a real girl.

  15. #15
    Hi! sherryleigh's Avatar
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    Well since the ex-gf found some pics of me on MY computer and dumped me I have no sex life anymore, sorta anyway. Oh well.

  16. #16
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    Good thread!

    For me, dressing was an escape to see what I wanted in women (legs, high heels) and the deed was completed alone. Wifey needs a day, or two, to recover before sex, so there's nothing happening with her. I would like it, but would feel a little weird (at first, anyway). All my life, though, I would dress a lot when I needed sex. Its still that way, if there's been nothing for a while, I'll want to dress a lot. If there's lots of action (with wifey, or alone) the dressing need will diminish.

    Sorry to hear about your ex-snoop, Sherry...

  17. #17
    Member Ashley Lyn's Avatar
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    I've always felt the need to dress... I tried to suppress it, when going from GF to GF after my first divorce, but after dumping a bunch of nice stuff, decided that 'it' was part of me!...

    Fell into a recent marriage at the age of 58, and my DW was a 45 y/o accepting SO! GREAT!

    I used to fantasize about having sex with men while dressed, but have found that the SO and I can each assume the 'girl' role in lovemaking, to an extent, and it is definitely a highlite of my life.. While she still enjoys the man/woman stuff, she allows me to 'dress as I please', as long as I keep a 'smile on her face'.. HEAVEN!!
    "If it feels good.. - Wear it"!

  18. #18
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I don't consider it a fetish but at this moment in my life Without dressing I wouldn't have a sex life

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenHiller View Post
    For me, once I got into my twenties and I was married and dressing as often as I could behind my ex-wife back, I became much less interested in sex with her. My total turn on became wearing her clothes and becoming the real me. I found relief mostly through masturbation while looking at my pretty reflection in the mirror. It got to the point that she'd try and turn me on in bed, but I wasn't able to do much as I'd probably had sex alone a few times that day.


    So if anyone else has been through something like this, I'd like to hear your story. I think it will help some of the other girls here who might be in the same position.

    Karen
    Ditto here Karen, almost to a T. Except I'm still with a loving accepting wife of 40 years who has been selfishly deprived of a normal sex life in my favor of my right hand. I do regret that so, and I blame cross dressing, this so called gift????that has made be self centered and narcissistic at the sacrifice of a dear loved one. Oh how I wished I could have both, how I wished I haven't hurt her for all these years but the damage is done, we're still together and love each other and lets me get dressed and go out public whenever i want. But yet I've deprived her. I wonder how many other CD men are experiencing the same problem but are afraid to admit it out of shame or embarrassment.
    Good thread Karen, been done many times before.

    Megan

  20. #20
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherryleigh View Post
    Well since the ex-gf found some pics of me on MY computer and dumped me I have no sex life anymore, sorta anyway. Oh well.
    I'm so sorry to hear that, sherryleigh. I hope you find someone very soon. I wish I knew someone for you.

    Karen


    Quote Originally Posted by Megan70 View Post
    Ditto here Karen, almost to a T. Except I'm still with a loving accepting wife of 40 years who has been selfishly deprived of a normal sex life in my favor of my right hand. I do regret that so, and I blame cross dressing, this so called gift????that has made be self centered and narcissistic at the sacrifice of a dear loved one. Oh how I wished I could have both, how I wished I haven't hurt her for all these years but the damage is done, we're still together and love each other and lets me get dressed and go out public whenever i want. But yet I've deprived her. I wonder how many other CD men are experiencing the same problem but are afraid to admit it out of shame or embarrassment.
    Good thread Karen, been done many times before.

    Megan
    I'm in tears now, Megan. We're so much alike. My wife knows I love her unconditionally, and so far she hasn't complained about our love life. To be like us is a blessing for us and a curse for our SO's.

    If this thread has been done before, can you tell me how to find them?

    Thanks, and a hug, Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    We didn't have much of a sex life before she found out I crossdressed so nothing has really changed..
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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  22. #22
    Member Samantha Girl's Avatar
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    Yes

    I am one of those cross dressers who's sole interest in dressing up is for the sexual excitement. I never feel more sexy than as Samantha. Almost every time I dress up I am sexual, but 80% of the time I'm alone with toys and stuff.

    My girl likes me to be a guy in the sack, as she has every right to And honestly I like having both sides to my sexuality, sex as a guy, and sometimes as a girl. Every once and a while my girl will come home and I'll be dressed up and she'll suggest we do a role play role reversal with toys. I'll get in trouble ( as I have before ) if I'm anymore specific. We always have fun! It is amazing and I'm still stunned at her willingness and acceptance of me. She is the most loving woman I could've ever hoped to find Especially since it's just never simple with me, I make everything complicated

    So it's had an affect on my sex life, a very positive one!

    I wish that could be the case for everyone here
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] x o x o x o Samantha Girl!!! * remember girls, sexiness is a state of mind!!!

  23. #23
    Member Terrihoney's Avatar
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    At a younger age, any dressing time was also a way to 'fly solo', when the need arose. During 18 years of marriage, wifey never knew, relations went away after she had the requiste kids and house. Dressing was still a bit of a release, at least there was a 'female' at hand.

    My current, 11 year relationship has been lacking only due to health problems with the GF. She was always afraid that I was looking for someone younger and healthier. Very recently, she knows all about my CDing. Geesh! She can't keep her hands off me!

    I have no urges sexually except with my lady. Now, she is assured that I have not been looking around.

    She gave me a rose colored nylon robe, I mentioned that I think I have a matching bra and panties. She wants me to model for her soon, untucked

    Hugs, Terri

  24. #24
    W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Jason+'s Avatar
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    Sex of course!

    She will have sex with me dressed but it is all for me when she does. For her sometimes making me happy is more important than whether or not she likes what is happening. Because I am aware of this I try not to ask too often for sexual activity that I know is just to make me happy.
    "You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.

  25. #25
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    The crossdressing is almost always present in some form. I'll never need Viagra. LOL

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