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Thread: How does crossdressing affect your sex life?

  1. #26
    Member RachelF's Avatar
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    Wow, this post shows again how diverse is our community and how many different approaches are to crossdressing.

    In my case crossdressing is a turn on, although sometimes I relieve myself, my ideal situation is making love with my wife.

    Unfortunately, she is not too much interested in sex. This happens well before my return to crossdressing around 4 years ago.

    The problem for me is that my libido increases with the dressing and I am getting more and more frustrated about the lack of sex drive from my wife

    Rachelf

  2. #27
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    It's the conversational closeness

    Since Tina's arrival, there are just more immediate topics of conversation. Yes, we do talk about her Conversation leads to closeness and leads to...

    Well, you get the point

    Other than that, there has been no change whatsoever.

  3. #28
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    no sex, not much of a life, good thing I have a hobby like being here to live vicariously. Don't think dressing has a lot to do with it
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  4. #29
    Life is just beginning... Eve_WA's Avatar
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    Whats' a sex life?

  5. #30
    Jamie Jamz1b's Avatar
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    From a very young age I have always associated dressing with physical plessure. This led to only being able to "get off" (sorry) if I was wearing something girly. That worries me as I have yet to start my "sex life" but hope to soon be engaged to a sweet girl who though knows a little has yet to be accepting. And has made it clear that it is a huge turn off for her. ;( So I may never know what it is to dress in bed ;(

    I guess my worrie is that when I do get to dress, will I be able to hold off the physical pleasure that I have long since associated, which will obviously effect my sex life?

    Im trying my best to distance the association. having some but very little luck.

  6. #31
    New Girl on the Block MelanieP's Avatar
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    Dressing for me used to be a sexual turn on, although I was careful to avoid it getting in the way of my sex life with my wife (who does not know about my CDing). Sometimes I felt I was close to it becoming an issue, which made me feel guilty. But recently, as I've come to accept my fem side more, dressing is less of a sexual release, but more of an emotional one. It retains a sensual aspect to be sure, but the level of arousal is much much lower than before. Which is a good thing as I feel I can get more in touch with my inner fem self and spend more time as her when not sexually turned on just by being dressed. I also get to focus all my sexual energy with my wife, because sex with the person I love most in life is always better than with my right hand. lol

    Melanie

  7. #32
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Good sex for an OLD CD! Becareful what u wish for!

    I wasn't into dressing when married. So, it didn't effect my divorce.

    However, for the 2 years AFTER our separation, I had NO INTEREST in sex, period!
    By then, I started to dress. About the same time, my interest in sex returned! At age 50+! Coincidence?

    Now, over 60, my sex life is better than when I was 20!

    UNFORTUNATELY, only when I'm alone in the shower, or watching Sherry with her electric friend! NOT with real women!

    Of course, the married friends my age, have quit having sex almost entirely! So, maybe I'm doing OK. Really not sure!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #33
    Member Lara Smith's Avatar
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    I haven't posted in awhile. When I revealed my love of fem things to my spouse over twenty years ago, we spent that next 20 years having dressed sex, and mostly at her urging. Then about 4 years ago she stopped having sex with me altogether and says she was only doing it because she loved me. I know this isn't true. However, she has no use for sex period at this point, and nothing can or will arouse her that I know of. What a shame, more for her than me. I still love my girl things, and her too. Boy or girl.

  9. #34
    Lux et Veritas Stormgirl's Avatar
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    What sex life? Mine is non-existent sadly.
    Merry

    HRT since 2009

  10. #35
    I can only be me. Cary's Avatar
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    Is this my TMI?

    As a person with a disablity and life long crossdresser, there is no sex. I'm not proud to say this, but 80% of my crossdressing is about sex. I fear that I have become that pervert down the block who live alone with the shades always drawn.
    Cary

  11. #36
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    Sexual Appetite

    I have been crossdressing since I was a teen. In the past, when I had a girlfriend, I would stop for a while, (and often purge) thinking that I didn't need it, but I would always return. This included the girlfriend that eventually became my wife. She is unaware of my CDing. When we were dating and after marrying, we had sex often, but my cross dressing crept into my life again and our sexual relations suffered. In part, it was because I felt guilty and become distant from her. When we did have sex, it got to a point sometimes that I could get an erection but couldn't finish. That would upset my wife. On some of these occasions, I would have to imagine myself dressed while we had sex in order to finish.

    I still dress, but I have gotten to the point where I can have sex with my wife without a problem. (I'd like to think that I have matured and grown.) The ironic part is that in the past when my then young wife wanted to have sex often, I avoided it for fear of not being able to perform, now I want sex often, but due to her health, we cannot make love often.

    I think cross dressing has increased my desire for sex.

  12. #37
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    i am like miss amy siad i have no sex life. i dont have sex feeling when i dress.

  13. #38
    Retired Lass Margot's Avatar
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    My wife lost interest in sex many, many years ago. She knew I crossdressed. before we were married so I think her acceptance and support now is compensation. Mind you I love her dearly and do feel somewhat guilty that I could not regenerate her enthusiasm.
    We are very happy together as I share femminine interests with her which include shopping, cooking, decorating. I now dress when and how I wish almost 24/7.
    Margot.

  14. #39
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    Just knowing that I dressed was enough to cause my ex not to have sex so she never expeieinced the difference. A girl I live with in Florida liked me dressed because she said I was better. I never knew of the difference but I did always like to be dressed.
    Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better

  15. #40
    Chewies sister-moulted!
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    Sex has always been pretty good between my wife and I . Private moments alone as my femanine self however were often followed by extreme guilt .
    I never , ever imagined before coming out to my partner that things would move foward as they have . I imagined it would continue alone and she would'nt want anything to do with my femanine side .After admitting about me there were at times ( like many other's )when we had the odd misunderstanding on my crossdressing - heated arguments even .It took a good few months I can't recall how or why , but for that time we just talked , sat there whilst I was dressed , then the ultimate happened .
    It's now become passionate to a point that sometimes it's scarey .
    I think , it's something to do with being completely honest with each other , our defensive guards lowered respectively , a meeting of the minds as well as the body ....
    It's true , we are all different in many ways and circumstances, but , the one thing I consider to be right tho , no matter what our sexuality , or how we live our lives then it's wrong to feel guilty or ashamed .....

  16. #41
    Silver Member Loni's Avatar
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    Smile

    sex......? what's that???? some kind of new religon????


    no wife, no girl friend, just cold sheets, and a warm bra.

    :-)

    .

  17. #42
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    This matter of SEX!

    Karen: I share your concern and would love to communicate more on all this. Odd that I had just written a very looooong post about my own experiences. Please let me know if you have anything to say about them!

  18. #43
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
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    Wink You're all the best!

    Thank you all for your amazing open and honest replies here. I truly feel like a part of the community here now. You're all so amazing. It's like finding out you have 50,000 sisters in one day!

    Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  19. #44
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    I have no sex life currently. Been alone for over 10 years. Had one relationship which ended badly. Then felt crappy forever.
    Now that I have accepted myself, I think I might be okay. I don't want to just go get lucky though. I want to find someone to make love to.


    Quote Originally Posted by MarcieBflo View Post
    You are not alone, "google" autogynephilia, have to admit after spending hours of reading I was at first shocked, but then felt so much better after understanding why I like to CD.
    Yep, that's me totally!! As soon as I get turned on my mind goes there. I can control it somewhat, but don't really want to anymore. It's not total, but definitely I want that mostly.

  20. #45
    Member FanciJewel's Avatar
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    CD'ing and my sex life has been an adventure. There have been 2 wives, no girlfriends and certainly myself. The only constant has been myself. Having several full length mirrors in the bathroom and walk in closet enhances the suduction with myself. The CD'ing and sex with the 2 wives has been a mixed bag. At times it has been thrilling and at times not so much. The less than thrilling experiences have been as much as an issue my wives as it has with me. Any hint of hesitancy with them would be very deflating with me. The second wife and I are still in the process of finding a way to bring the thrill back on a consistent basis. It is a work in progress.
    Fanci

  21. #46
    Member bianncats's Avatar
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    none

    with a wife with a chronic illness and no sex drive...it has just dwindled down to nothing.

    b
    lovin to dress...

  22. #47
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    I just tell my Wife I am a lesbian. I won't get graphic but I satisfy her and she satisfies me

  23. #48
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenHiller View Post
    It got to the point that she'd try and turn me on in bed, but I wasn't able to do much as I'd probably had sex alone a few times that day.

    So if anyone else has been through something like this, I'd like to hear your story. I think it will help some of the other girls here who might be in the same position.
    Thanks for bringing up the topic, and to everyone for your open and honest answers.

    You want to help other girls who might now be in the same position you were with your ex wife. But if the other forum members feel the same way you did, how can they make themselves be attracted to their partners ... if they find their femme selves more exciting? How can they control this?
    Reine

  24. #49
    Aspiring Member dominique's Avatar
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    With me and my wife, we go through periods of very intense love making and my need for dressing goes down accordingly. Other times when we don't make love for a long period of time my need to dress increases. I must like the feel of something feminine touching or close to me.

  25. #50
    CD in S.A. Kimmy55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAmy View Post
    I don't have a sex life so I can't say
    Me either
    Kimmy 55

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