Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 51 to 75 of 109

Thread: How does crossdressing affect your sex life?

  1. #51
    We all have our dreams... AmiFL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Gulf Coast of Florida
    Posts
    710

    you are not alone

    When you have sexual encounter with Karen you are not alone. You are with a "woman" you love and want to feel good. She makes you feel good to, otherwise why would she excite you . When I look at my pictures that I posted, (I cannot dress right now) I excite me.......
    Last edited by Di; 01-11-2010 at 02:14 PM. Reason: TMI

  2. #52
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    231
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Thanks for bringing up the topic, and to everyone for your open and honest answers.

    You want to help other girls who might now be in the same position you were with your ex wife. But if the other forum members feel the same way you did, how can they make themselves be attracted to their partners ... if they find their femme selves more exciting? How can they control this?
    Unfortunately, you can't make yourself be more attracted to anyone. You can, however, make an effort to be with the other person when you're "in the mood" and transfer your need over to making love with them. It's like anything else in a relationship, if you want it to be better, you have to work at it.

    Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  3. #53
    Member leotard fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    lisbon, portugal
    Posts
    185
    when i cross dress i fell more sexy. i don´t have girlfriend now, but i´ll like have sex with a girl dressed like me. i think croosdressing is not a obsession, is just a man dress the clothes that he like to wear...

  4. #54
    JoannKelly Josie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    106
    My sex life is crossdressing. My wife has no interest in sex, or crossdressing for that matter. I could maybe do without one or the other, but not both. I love my wife dearly, but we're at the point where she has to give a little on the crossdressing. I'll give her what ever she wants, but it comes with her acceptance of me as a crossdresser.
    Joann Kelly

  5. #55
    Former Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,429
    My supportive wife has known about my crossdressing since very early in our relationship. It's always been part of our relationship and always been part of our sex life.

  6. #56
    Member Veronica75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Outside NYC
    Posts
    108
    I did read up on autogynephilia, that puts a new perspective on a lot of my dressing, the thoughts that occur when I did, and some of the things I've done when dressed, both in private and out and about.

    My wife and mine's sex life is very on and off, but when we do find the time I always 100% man... even when I'm not into it. In those cases, I use complicated mental games to get myself in the mood-- usually going third-person and projecting memories of past encounters I've had with men when dressed into the situation-- more or less seeing things from her perspective and my real self just the guy in the bed... does that make sense?

    Probably not, but it works for me. Whatever it takes.

  7. #57
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,947

    Horns of a dilema, Reine!

    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    ---------how can they make themselves be attracted to their partners ... if they find their femme selves more exciting? How can they control this?
    This is THE significant issue for me! While I wish to find a REAL female companion, age is a problem! The women I see, r MUCH older than Sherry appears to be!
    I seem to be SO VISUALLY oriented now, sexually!

    While I would CHOOSE to find real GGs sexually exciting, I DON'T! I've become too hooked on Sherry's looks!

    IF ONLY MEN COULD FAKE being turned on!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #58
    Aspiring Member Nadia-Maria's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Europe (Alps mountains)
    Posts
    531
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Thanks for bringing up the topic, and to everyone for your open and honest answers.

    You want to help other girls who might now be in the same position you were with your ex wife. But if the other forum members feel the same way you did, how can they make themselves be attracted to their partners ... if they find their femme selves more exciting? How can they control this?
    This situation may become a real issue in the couple, especially if the wife is more demanding about sex than average.

    I discovered only recently (say not until 55 yrs old) I needed experiencing on a regular basis "female" orgasms and that helped me a lot to understand I was a transgendered person instead of a mere crossdresser. Simultaneously I felt my libido towards women would wane, while I still feel no attraction at all to men.
    In fact my libido is intact except I must imagine I am the woman and I have a vagina to get oustanding orgasms. That's easier to imagine it when I am alone dressed than when I make love to my wife as a standard man and undressed. However I want to give priority to intercourses with my wife in order not to jeopardize our couple. I have found : the more she is accepting of my crossdressing, the more easily I can give the priority to her.


    Nadia

  9. #59
    Junior Member tinysquid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Philly
    Posts
    54
    The more feminine I am the more sexual i can be with my gf. hoping to tell her soon and hoping she will accept....

  10. #60
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    7,078
    Wow Karren, quite a thing to admit to I mean looking at yourself in the mirror and anyways...

    My love life and affects of me being TG -
    The lady on youtube I like to watch, she doesn't mind a bit if I am TG...
    Yes youtube is weak, my tastes are very tame.

    My wife and I are not gonna be together much longer but didn't have much of a sex life anyways. We just aren't interested. Looking back, I don't think me being TG really effected it. Admittedly, I never have felt the need to "dress" suring sex. I prefer to be naked for real.

    Now about self-gratification -
    I am so paranoid about having more kids, I don't even like to self-gratify in the case where I might knock up myself somehow. But still happens anyways.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  11. #61
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    22
    I've always believed that sex is more a mental thing so the physical side has never been an issue for me. My wife has always had a better, and demanding, sex drive than me. So I'm happy, very happy, to let her set the pace.

    Besides is sex just about an orgasm?

  12. #62
    Aspiring Member Nicola2876's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    England
    Posts
    558
    I'm married and my wife is unaware that I CD. Our relationship is suffering at the minute because I have very little desire to have sex. I don't want to be the "man" in bed and recently our sex life probably resembles a lesbian relationship. I struggle to get turned on so fantasise I'm a woman. This sometimes means I fantasise she's a man. I am bisexual so this isn't totally alien to me. CDing is no longer a sexual act for me. As a teenager I used to always end a CDing session with sexual pleasure but that is no longer the case. I dress like I do because I feel I am female not to get aroused.

  13. #63
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    terrapin station, you need to guess a little bit
    Posts
    3,170
    Somehow I think this is quite common. If there is a lot of emotional (&physical) distance in the relationship then the innate need for sex seems to get satisfied in other ways. For some CDing may represent a means of providing that comfort and sexual release even if it is not overt. CDing can become an important part of ones identity. For some even an obsession. This will vary I am sure and ultimately people will find their "comfort zone". Do you have a need to "go out and pass" or is an occasional session alone at home or at a hotel sufficient? Or for some this CDing a part of a realization that they want (and need) something different and this is just the first stop along the path...

    For some people the need to CD and what it provides seems to change over time and evolve. For a time it seems absolutely critical to understand CDing and why and what it represents. (Why am i doing this??) After a while it seems to be a matter of comfort and maybe not even a sexual release (read fetish or anything) and you may not even care why you do it, just that you feel a particular need and it feels good. Now it seems like the ultimate goal and pleasure is to try and attain that ultimate feminine look. (Ok maybe that is just me I am speaking of with the last statement.)

    Somewhere through reading this thread I kind of lost the real focus of this thread. Is it that increased Cross-dressing with a non-accepting SO leads in fact to more Cross-dressing? Or is it sex in general?

    I don't think anyone mentioned it so i will throw this out there. A long time ago I asked my wife why so many wives were so disapproving of their partner's CDing. Her reply was that at least for some women if they had no interest in being with another woman themselves then sex with their CD partner particularly when dressed was a turn-off. For a woman to enjoy having sex with a CD there must be a complete understanding of their partner, a sense of adventure and an acceptance of that partner. I could always buy that....it's always acceptance that everyone (CDs, TG, TV, TS etc) crave Acceptance!

    It is pretty amazing when you can literally have it all, great sex with a loving partner while you can enjoy being a CD.
    Last edited by darla_g; 01-12-2010 at 09:43 AM.

  14. #64
    Member KarenHiller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    231

    Wink

    So many wonderful responses! Thank you all for being so open and honest about something so intimate. You've given me so much to think about.

    Karen
    Lucky to be a girl 95.33% of the time

  15. #65
    Member Veronica75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Outside NYC
    Posts
    108
    Quote Originally Posted by darla_g View Post
    I don't think anyone mentioned it so i will throw this out there. A long time ago I asked my wife why so many wives were so disapproving of their partner's CDing. Her reply was that at least for some women if they had no interest in being with another woman themselves then sex with their CD partner particularly when dressed was a turn-off. For a woman to enjoy having sex with a CD there must be a complete understanding of their partner, a sense of adventure and an acceptance of that partner. I could always buy that....it's always acceptance that everyone (CDs, TG, TV, TS etc) crave Acceptance!
    I think there is another aspect to this: Some women may have sexual attraction to other women, but they don't want their husband to be an imitation of that, from both ends-- a crossdresser is not a woman, and many women understandably can't get past that reality.

    But more importantly, I think there are wives who see their husbands as entirely masculine, and love them that way, and don't want that image destroyed by seeing their hubbies dressed all girly. There are plenty of stories here of husbands who came out or were caught, and it permanently alters the wifes perception of her husband, and often in a negative way. Sometimes of course this is associated with the deception or the feelings of discovering a significant aspect to her man's life that she is not part of, but I think sometimes it's also just as simple as a woman wanting a 100% masculine male for a partner, and the turn off of having that image permanently altered.

  16. #66
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,805
    Just for fun let's take dressing out of the equation.

    Typical marriage (I know some of you are still like teenagers)


    You meet, you find each other physically attractive, marry and mate (or vice versa) you find each other sexually attractive. You live together and maybe have a kid or two. One or both of you no longer have the time or inclination to make yourself physically attractive (kids and jobs and running a household will do that). Sex in marriage decreases most of the time and often it becomes rare. It isn't what you wear or want to wear, it is familiarity breeds complacency, ask Tiger. I think both partners look for reasons to not have sex. Time, stress, losing interest in something like how your partner looks (both ways). It is nature. Every male friend of mine is either getting a divorce or honestly just hanging on to comfort (probably the same for the women but for some reason I never ask "how's your sex life"). I envy the few who still see the sexy vivacious partner they started with, and IMHO I would bet that him putting on a dress might even build that fire higher.

    So as they say "Don't blame the tool, blame the carpenter"
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  17. #67
    Member lavistaa62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    432

    Thanks everyone

    For the references to autogynephilia. First I'd heard of it- one article suggested that this is a natural part of feminine behaviour- namely they are "attracted to themselves" for lack of a better word when they get dressed up and this is one of the driving force beyond wanted to do so. In other words, it's a natural part of being a GG.

    Does this sound reasonable or accurate to you (GG)?

  18. #68
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,117
    Quote Originally Posted by lavistaa62 View Post
    In other words, it's a natural part of being a GG.

    Does this sound reasonable or accurate to you (GG)?
    A sexual attraction to the self is not a natural part of feminine behavior. GGs are attracted to guys, or if they are lesbian they are attracted to other girls.
    Reine

  19. #69
    Aspiring Member Laura Evans's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Flagstaff, AZ
    Posts
    549

    lucky CD

    I am one of the few lucky ones here who has a SO that is supportive and enjoys making love whether I am in drab or drag, but I get more turned on when in drag and I think she likes that.

  20. #70
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,947

    Maybe the same is tru for CDs, Reine?

    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    A sexual attraction to the self is not a natural part of feminine behavior. GGs are attracted to guys, or if they are lesbian they are attracted to other girls.
    FOR ME, if I see anything that looks MALE or like ME, in the mirror, I get turned OFF!

    I'm SURE that's tru for other straight CDs, too. I just have NO IDEA how many!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #71
    The Lurking GG Stitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    England
    Posts
    631
    I'm not attracted to myself sexually. I mean sure, its nice to look at yourself and take pride in your appearance but it doesn't get me going or anything.

    I'm also completely hetrosexual, so seeing my partner en femme doesn't turn me on at all. I don't mind her dressing and to be honest I do enjoy being an active part of picking her outfits and brushing her hair, (It appeals to the same part of me that loves and collects dolls) but other than that nada. I just love masculinity so much. His smell, his broad sholders, the shape of his torso, his jawline and neck. Now that does turn me on.
    Last edited by Stitch; 01-12-2010 at 12:41 PM. Reason: added extra parts.
    I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!

    Complete Geek and Girl gamer.

  22. #72
    Member Veronica75's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Outside NYC
    Posts
    108
    Back when I was dressing publicly and having experiences with men, there was an older guy-- a married guy-- who I had an ongoing thing with... whatever he was up to behind his wife's back (and it was a lot) he always was a gentleman to me. At one point pillow talk turned to his wife, and I asked him what she looked like. Instead of telling me, he pulled a picture out of his wallet-- a gorgeous put-together mature woman who any guy would feel lucky to have on his arm. What surprised me at the time is that it aroused me very much to look at the picture of this woman, with the guy in my mind thinking, "Dang, I'd hit that," while I'm lying dolled up in the afterglow of a good time with her husband.

    Looking back from a married perspective I see he was no prince and I shouldn't have been playing around with him, but at the time it really made me feel very validated, feminine and most of all sexy to be "the other woman" to a guy with a beautiful wife at home.

  23. #73
    Heroine of Silmaria Elsa von Spielburg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio
    Posts
    78
    It hasn't happened yet, mostly due to me and the GF being in different cities currently, but my GF looks forward to exploring my inner-lady in the bedroom with me, so my CDing is only looking to improve my sex life. I'm one of the lucky ones, in that way.

  24. #74
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    71
    Quote Originally Posted by lavistaa62 View Post
    For the references to autogynephilia. First I'd heard of it- one article suggested that this is a natural part of feminine behaviour- namely they are "attracted to themselves" for lack of a better word when they get dressed up and this is one of the driving force beyond wanted to do so. In other words, it's a natural part of being a GG.

    Does this sound reasonable or accurate to you (GG)?
    Absolutely not! I'm sure that I speak for most GGs to say that there is absolutely nothing arousing about dressing ourselves up. You do it all of your life and it's not all that fun, either. When i get dressed up I may feel sexier or even have times when I'm quite impressed with how I look (hours of work later) or whatever, but the theory that it's a natural part of feminine behavior to be attracted to yourself is silly. The article was obv. written by a straight man.

  25. #75
    Junior Member Heather J's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    57
    Due to health problems (on both parts) we really don't have a love life, so I really can't say if CD'ing has affected our love life.

    Heather J.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State