What does, "feeling feminine", really mean?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm trying to understand! When CD/TG/TSs describe their "female side", or "female feelings", I just don't get it!

I KNOW what it's like to "feel feminine" wearing hose, heels, breast forms, etc. But, that's OUTSIDE feelings. And, I know what it's like to look in the mirror and see a convincing female illusion in the mirror.

Can anyone accurately describe your INSIDE "female feelings"? So that if I ever have any, I mite recognize them?

Hey! I like musicals, and cry during sad movies! But, that's not what u mean by," fem feelings", is it? Isn't it something more? I always assumed it WAS!?

I ask, as Rosemary Clooney did in her song, "Is that all there is?"

[Wen4cd]

It's not all there is.

It's life's grand mystery hon. It's subjective as well, one one level, it's whatever you, personally, have grown to feel is 'feminine.' Sometimes it's an inversion of the seat of identity that has to be felt.

Sometimes it's a channelling of a certain flavor of energy, often dealing in affect and in relating to other living things in a new way. A lot of times it's a sort of 'confidence' you've never felt before, an affirmation and an assurance, and a relief.

Otherwise, you can look at yin and yang models, articles about which offer certain insightful descriptions.

[KimberlyJo]

It's not all there is.

It's life's grand mystery hon. It's subjective as well, one one level, it's whatever you, personally, have grown to feel is 'feminine.' Sometimes it's an inversion of the seat of identity that has to be felt.

Sometimes it's a channelling of a certain flavor of energy, often dealing in affect and in relating to other living things in a new way. A lot of times it's a sort of 'confidence' you've never felt before, an affirmation and an assurance, and a relief.

Otherwise, you can look at yin and yang models, articles about which offer certain insightful descriptions.

Another interesting read is Helen Boyd's "She's Not the Man I Married". She deals with that very question rather thoroughly throughout.

I'm trying to understand! When CD/TG/TSs describe their "female side", or "female feelings", I just don't get it!

But honestly, it may not be anything that can be "got". But I think when people say that they are speaking of stereotypical feminine traits. It's subjective and you have to figure out what it means to you if anything at all.

[Sweet Jane]

I agree...when people say it makes them feel like a woman I wonder

I have no idea what it feels like to be a woman, I'm not that sure I know what its like to feel like a man even, all I know is what I feel like....and I usually sum my inner feelings up with adjectives like joy, happy, sad etc...

Now I know I can 'look' like a woman, but I still feel like me....

[msniki48]

Yes it is truly subjective,

the only way i can describe it is from another males perpective. I know how i feel and react to different things , and how i express my passion. if i do it without restraint....other males will continually make a comment...girly sissy and other poinient remarks...so i learned at young age not to do that...when i am in femme mode i feel like i don't have to restrain my reactions [ i can be myself]...or if i am in male mode and don't think about how i react to something and forget to tone it down 8 notches...it comes out like i guess they have a feminine atribute, so i guess that is feminine, at least to me. and every male that i know.

when all the males in the world, learn be nurturing without concern of immage, and allow themselves to feel and associate themselves to other traits we attribute to femininity...then they will no longer be feminine, but human. i guess

just my thoughts

hugs

msniki48

[Daniela76]

I am starting to understand "feeling feminine" as I seem to be feeling it all the time now.
The key point I see in it is just being more joyful & emotional. Happy for others & happy with yourself. Not closing off your emotions because you don't want to seem weak.

[Shari]

An interesting question and one that has bothered me too. Some here say that if you're truly feminine, there's a certain way to arrange your thoughts. I'm still trying to figure out what that all means.

My mind set doesn't change at all because of male or female clothing, except in a sexual nature.
I become submissive when dressed and love being that for awhile. It's an escape for me as are the clothes.

[Alisa]

I KNOW what it's like to "feel feminine" wearing hose, heels, breast forms, etc. But, that's OUTSIDE feelings. And, I know what it's like to look in the mirror and see a convincing female illusion in the mirror.

Hey! I like musicals, and cry during sad movies!

Yes all of the above.


Alisa

[Joanne f]

It`s just within you if you have it , it is not something you can turn on and off by the clothes that you wear as it is you , you don`t dress to get it you dress because you are it ,(another one of my don`t make any sense posts)

[Claire Cook]

Can anyone accurately describe your INSIDE "female feelings"? So that if I ever have any, I mite recognize them?

Maybe this is how others feel: all I know is that I feel more like "me" ... less anxious, less uptight, more at ease with my emotions. Don't know if that's male, female or what -- just me....

[Kate Simmons]

I doubt that anyone (including females) truly "feels" feminine. I did ask this question once of GG's and the answer I received was mostly: "I don't know what it feels like to be feminine, I only what it feels like to be me." Women, you see have learned to be comfortable being who they are. We think that is a big mystery when it really isn't. It's all about being yourself, gender notwithstanding.

[suit]

one cant feel feminine. people can see it . others can decribe it . it has atrbutes. the possesor of this none feels nothing as it is .
like asking your self how do you feel as you sit there doing nearly nothing do you feel ( inject your height weight, ethnisisty here).. a women are hard wired ( and I'll bet so are the real ts>females as a base mode of opperations ...oooohhh like an avatare!~ lol
they dont feel they are.

[aggi123]

Sometimes I feel like i'm a completely different person. Even my emotions tend to be different. I get this feeling sometimes though even when I'm not dressed, but just when I'm feeling good about myself. I truly believe it's a feminine side.

[ballbelle]

The older I get the more I feel in touch with the "woman inside." At the moment I am dedicated (as a woman) to search for her, and I am finding there are more joys to this whole CD business than parading in front oif a mirror--of which I have done a lot!!!!!
I hope to write more on this soon after I collect my thoughts.

[Amelia Coffey]

It`s just within you if you have it , it is not something you can turn on and off by the clothes that you wear as it is you , you don`t dress to get it you dress because you are it ,(another one of my don`t make any sense posts)

I beg to differ with you, Joanne....this is certainly not "another one of my don't make any sense posts". I believe you hit the nail on the head. I don't dress to get it, I dress because I got it. Very profound.

Amy

[suchacutie]

I must admit that in my almost 1000 posts (heaven, that's scary!) I claim that I want to pop back and forth from my masculine to my feminine side. So, can I explain what my femme side is? Dunno...haven't tried to put it into words so here goes:

The obvious "props": nailpolish, wig, makeup, breastforms, always heels, earrings, necklace, perfume, and the rest of female attire. These belong to my femme self. They are the sensory part. They add a feminine feeling, probably simply because they belong to the sociological culture belonging to women. They give an outward appearance of a feminine being and are the place, for me, where the rest of the transition starts.

The physical change: Put on heels and one walks differently. The "feel" of the body movement is different. We all know what that looks like when we watch a GG in heels. It's the internal feel and the knowing what we look like externally that affects our image of ourselves, and that's only the first piece. The weight of breasts, the movement of the arms, and the change of muscle use add to the sense of a new self. BUT. all of that is just one step to the final goal.

Voice: For me, I needed a voice for Tina. It didn't have to be perfect, just different. I learned pretty quickly how to restrict the bass part of my vocal cords. That led me to the necessity of different speech patterns to give inflection without that bass resonance. Again it was different and a feminine speech pattern, or at least a speech pattern necessitated by the tenor of my new voice. (Oh, yes, I have recorded the two voices and they are demonstrably different).

Last is the psychology of change: My wife was speaking to me one morning about some issues she was facing and we came to a conclusion. Two hours later she brought up the same topic with Tina, she said, expecting a different perspective: a feminine one. Well, amazingly enough, she was right and Tina did not completely agree with her male self! Tina looks at life a bit differently. She has the same data base to work with, but she clearly uses it differently. She is fastidious where he is not. She is left-handed where he is right-handed. She is, effectively, calmer in that she does not rush around, doesn't flit from one idea to another, is much more deliberate in her thinking. she loves chick flicks, he hates them. She will dust where he will never dust. When she cooks the same dessert he has previously made, the results are NOT the same! They always have a different flavor combination.

Summary: All-in-all, Tina has characteristics that are physically different, vocally different, psychologically different, and emotionally different (she does cry during those absurd chick flicks! I mean, really!). These differences are those we, as males, have observed all our lives in the women around us. That lifetime of observation gives us both an internal and external link to who we are as our feminine selves. Ok, I admit that I might be an extreme case of this in that I do not wish to mix my masculine and feminine sides at all if it can be helped. From the time I start to polish my nails to the point that I walk out of the bedroom on those wonderfully high heels, a change has occurred and in my mind I see the feminine part of me walking out of that room, I feel her clothes and lipstick and hair and earrings, I see those nails flashing, I feel my hips moving with my walk, I'm greeted as a girlfriend, we chit-chat and gossip, speech changes, words change, outlook changes, and all those inputs link to what I know is my vision of a feminine human being. Some might call it heading into the "zone". Once there I stand naturally as a women, all the posture issues seem so natural and easy. She checks her makeup every now and again. Oh, and she is just so prissy that she has never ONCE spilled or spattered her clothes while cooking! Never! When he cooks he is a total mess!

So, that's what it's like for Tina. That's what I mean when I talk about her being feminine. It's complicated but rather logical, in the main. Finally, when all is said and done, it seems so very natural. It's not forced. As my gf said, "you look so comfortable, Tina".

Tina

[msniki48]

I'm trying to understand! When CD/TG/TSs describe their "female side", or "female feelings", I just don't get it!

I KNOW what it's like to "feel feminine" wearing hose, heels, breast forms, etc. But, that's OUTSIDE feelings. And, I know what it's like to look in the mirror and see a convincing female illusion in the mirror.

Can anyone accurately describe your INSIDE "female feelings"? So that if I ever have any, I mite recognize them?

Hey! I like musicals, and cry during sad movies! But, that's not what u mean by," fem feelings", is it? Isn't it something more? I always assumed it WAS!?

I ask, as Rosemary Clooney did in her song, "Is that all there is?"

So Docrobbysherry,

i am really wondering what you make of all this and does this help you to arrive at a hypothysis...[oooo spelling]

For me, there is something going on here, and that is for me, acting masculine takes all the thought...i am well trained at it..58 yrs but when i let go, something else comes out...[niki] and i'm seeing it in many of the girls explanations.. i am starting to think i am really crossdressing when i am in male mode....i could probably verbalize being male better than female, becaus i have to think in order to do it. Hmmmmm

I would love to know your thoughts.


hugs

msniki

[shannonsilk]

I agree...when people say it makes them feel like a woman I wonder

I have no idea what it feels like to be a woman, I'm not that sure I know what its like to feel like a man even, all I know is what I feel like....and I usually sum my inner feelings up with adjectives like joy, happy, sad etc...

Now I know I can 'look' like a woman, but I still feel like me....

I totally agree with Jane. I've wondered about this for years.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

It may be different for each one and what works for one doesn't work for the other...then again it just might be the way one describes the feeling they get which is different then when they are not dressed....

Bottom line as long as your happy does it really matter the "correctness" of what you feel???? I suspect not....JMHO...simply go with it and enjoy it..life's to damm short anyway....

[Nigella23]

Can anyone accurately describe your INSIDE "female feelings"? So that if I ever have any, I mite recognize them?

I'd have to say they are the ones that are different and sometimes contrary to my normal masculine ones. Feelings are deeply personal and will differ hugely person to person, its not just about emotional response either, I've blubbed at stuff female colleagues lol'd at and vice versa which doesn't make them any more or less feminine. What exemplifies it to me is when I say things like ",ooh I really wanna go see Lady Gaga," during a lunchroom break discussion about football.

[bethplays]

Everyone has a masculine and feminine side. We use them at different times in our day. We jump from caring, feeling to rough and strong. But that doesn't mean that we aren't feminine when we stand up for our rights and are strong.
Feeling Feminine??? We all are at some time. Even Rambo. LOL

[Kara Connor]

As Denise said, I think even a GG would be hard pressed to define "feeling feminine", though I suspect that sometimes they feel "more feminine". I think feminine characteristics in general are only meaningful if contrasted with masculine characteristics, otherwise they are "just" human characteristics that both sexes share by dint of being the same species.

As others have mentioned, there are "props" that make you feel physically more feminine - it is hard not to feel girly in heels and pretty clothing - but the the main reason I enjoy these is that they allow me to reconcile my appearance with my inner feelings at the time. Sometimes my head seems full of thoughts and longings that are stereotypically characterized as feminine. These might be to do with longing to be pretty, wear makeup or nice clothes, or just an overall feeling of femininity or desire to be with and talk to females. I always seem to end up talking with the women at parties and not about clothes or makeup - just chatting about people and subjects that guys are not usually interested in.

So Sherry, I am sure we are all different, but it sounds like it is the visual and sensual thing that does it for you. I certainly enjoy that, but there is a psychological aspect for me that is very important. When the pink fog strikes I want to look feminine because that is how I (think I) feel.

It is great that we have such a diverse motivation IMHO, since it brings so many perspectives to discussions on this forum.

[Frédérique]

What does, "feeling feminine", really mean?
I'm trying to understand! When CD/TG/TSs describe their "female side", or "female feelings", I just don't get it!

[SIZE="2"]To me, feeling feminine simply means feeling less masculine. There is no “female” side – I simply AM. Dressing up suppresses my male-ness in pleasurable ways. Being male by birth, it’s wonderful to step out of the male “arena” now and then and get some perfumed air…[/SIZE]

[kellycan27]

I doubt that anyone (including females) truly "feels" feminine. I did ask this question once of GG's and the answer I received was mostly: "I don't know what it feels like to be feminine, I only what it feels like to be me." Women, you see have learned to be comfortable being who they are. We think that is a big mystery when it really isn't. It's all about being yourself, gender notwithstanding.

I have to agree with Denise on this one.

Kelly

[Charona]

Carried to an extreme, I don't think it is possible to ever know just how someone else feels. That includes feeling "masculine" or "feminine." To use an example, I know how it feels when I stub my toe against the bedpost. I do not know how you feel when you do the same, but I can assume you feel similarly. But when someone experiences something I have never experienced, I can only go by their description. I can attempt to relate it to something I have experienced, but can never be completely sure. A more extreme example might be childbirth. Men can never experience it. Many women have - but not all. Those who have may describe the experience as similar to passing extreme constipation. Those who have not can only extrapolate from that description - or in the case of some women try it for themselves.

I think everyone experiences changes of mood. Weather, hormones, daily experiences, and so on may cause these changes. Whether those mood changes can be interpreted as being masculine or feminine is more difficult to quantify. If the mood change causes one to become aggressive, it might be seen as masculine. If it causes one to become more passive (or perhaps more devious) it might be seen as feminine. An outside observer may never even notice.