Men Marry Their Mothers and We...

[kellyanne]

Think about your mother and tell us if you are trying to become your mother.

I am the opposite of my mother's wardrobe from the same source : Sears.

I was most influenced by 70s girlie books & the catalogues .

[KimberlyJo]

I disagree entirely. I went out of my way to find a man who wasn't like my father at all.

Not that I dislike him at all. Bless him. I take most traits from my fathers side of the family, in both looks and personality. (I look like his mother.) Needless to say I am sturborn and blunt just like my father, so we frequently butt heads over things. I have no desire to be with anyone who is just like him or me. That would make for a very awkward and short relastionship.

My partner is calm and collected and we never butt heads over things.

Maybe you married a man who is more like your mother?

[sempervirens]

My fiancee is quite a bit different than my mom (feistier), I'm not very similar to her mom or dad (more outgoing), and I'm not very like my mom (she's sweeter than I think I'll ever be).

Like others have said, when dressed I do look a lot like my mom did at my age. I'm a little self-conscious about my height, but my mom is 5'11", so I try and remember that.

[docrobbysherry]

My ex HATED IT, when I told her that!

My college girlfriend was MY MOTHER! Too shy and boring!

I NEVER dress like my mother, either!

But, HAVE ocassionally, like my father! He was pretty dapper, in his day!

[Frédérique]

Think about your mother and tell us if you are trying to become your mother.

[SIZE="2"]No, I’m not trying to become my mother, but I suppose I AM her in many respects (genetically I cannot help but be like her). Her gentleness and submissiveness, relating to survival of her children and, perhaps less so, of herself, made a huge impression on me when I was young. We always got along well – she had a quiet strength and unobtrusiveness that shaped me in subtle ways. I recall saying to one of my girlfriends, “I don’t want you to be my mother,” and she replied, “Good.” [/SIZE]

[meri]

Thank-you all for your observations and kind comments.

When I think of my father and how he influenced me, my first thought is "I don't want to be like him". However, I know I am reacting to the negativity he often displayed and not the positive aspects of his personality. I have acquired several of his traits (hopefully just the positive ones), but in general, I think more of my mother's.

Undoubtedly it has to do with the amount of time we are with our mothers vs. our fathers. My father worked during the day and when he came home in the evening, he wasn't in the mood to play with his children. Further, the kinds of things he liked to play at were sports oriented and my own interest was never very strong anyway.

Sometimes I wish I could do it all again knowing what I now think I know. I would like to know my father better, it would take some work and effort to do so because he wasn't very talkative, he pretty much bottled up his emotions and his thoughts. The only time you would hear him is when he was upset or angry with us.

So, tell me about your fathers, let's flip the coin....

[2b.Lauren]

When I think of my father and how he influenced me, my first thought is "I don't want to be like him". However, I know I am reacting to the negativity he often displayed and not the positive aspects of his personality. I have acquired several of his traits (hopefully just the positive ones), but in general, I think more of my mother's.

This is more of an accurate description of me also. I am emotionally and mentally much like my mother. Care too much, get affected by things too easily, extremely senistive, and many other attributes of hers. I don't dress like her and can't possibly see myself in a orange sherbet colored pants suit YUCK lol. Her style and fashion was always very simple but she is a very elagent women. Hair always neat and fixed (goes to the hairdresser weekly even at 80) makeup well done and very well put together. That I tend to also mirror in even in male drab, take a great deal of time to dress and so on daily. As for the marriage peice, others have said they married more like their dad's and I did too. To my shagrin. Emotionally unavailable, critical, mean in spirit, verbally abusive. My wife is a lot like that overall and it has been a difficult marriage.
Human nature is a very interesting concept.

[Kathi Lake]

So, tell me about your fathers, let's flip the coin....

Ah ha ha ha haaaaaa! Let's just say that my father was usually referred to as "the sperm donor" in that he was never really a father at all. He beat my mother, would run off until he would come back and beat her again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Finally, one time he never came back. The last time I "saw" him, he was on the Sally Jesse show (a half-sister sent a tape of the show). It was a reunion show where I found out I had about four half-siblings (from about three different mothers) that I never knew about. He was some poor schmuck with about three teeth living in a trailer next to a lake (the town had a population of 3). He made his living selling bait. Karma, anyone?

I open up about all this to show that we don't have to be like our parents. I have been in a loving relationship with my wife for over 20 years. I have never raised my hand to her, and only raised my voice twice. Whenever a decision comes up in life, I think to myself, "What would my parents do?" and then do the exact opposite. So far, that has worked out pretty well.

Kathi