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Thread: OUT but it aint me...

  1. #1
    B.B.C.D. & D.Q.I.T. Chloe' Buffington's Avatar
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    OUT but it aint me...

    my brother inlaw and sister inlaw moved in to the neighborhood. The wanted a new garage but they had a storage shed in the way so I bought it. My brother in law had no place to store his tool chest so he asked me if he could leave it in the shed till the garage is finnished, so I said yes. After moving it to my house and setting it up I needed a tool I did not have so I opened his tool box and I was surprized at what I found. 4 large ladies swim suits, a wig, a small makeup kit and some clip on earings. I know what I should do, put it back and forget about it, but what if... We get along almost too well, is this why? I just don't know what I should do? Bring it up? Leave it alone? I don't want to embarass him, but I don't want to miss an oppertunity to have a new sister. I am leaning tword forget about what I found.
    Life is too short to not be who you are.

  2. #2
    Silver Member "Mary"'s Avatar
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    Put it back and don't bring it up. But, be open to the topic and related topics/discussions.
    Mary

  3. #3
    Gold Member sherri52's Avatar
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    It's time for a new sister. Now for the other two questions. Does his wife know? Does your wife know about him? interesting. Put a rubber band on your wrist nad bring up the clothes after he notices. Do it Friday
    Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better

  4. #4
    left site permanently aggi123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherri52 View Post
    It's time for a new sister. Now for the other two questions. Does his wife know? Does your wife know about him? interesting. Put a rubber band on your wrist nad bring up the clothes after he notices. Do it Friday
    I second this
    removed

  5. #5
    Gold Member
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    It wasn't your stuff was it?

    Options -
    Start singing "dude looks like a lady" when you see him

    Bring it up at a big family gathering.

    When the guys are hanging out having a beer, come in dancing with his wig and sing "Man, I feel like a woman".

    Next time he comes over, answer the door in torn fishnets, combat boots, and a VC bra.

    When you two are hanging out, start asking to borrow tools. "Yeah I was doing a head gasket and wanted to know if I could borrow that 1/2 drive 5/8 impact socket, you know the one right next to your purple teddy". Just say it with total indifference. then he might correct you and say real quick "BITCH that teddy is fuschia, learn your colors!"

    OK maybe not the best ideas.

    Look, don't say anything about finding it, not yet anyways. But I think it might be safe to come out. It will be an akward coming out as he will immediately think of his own trannyness.

    Best case scenario - You two will come out to each other and then you two can be brothers AND sisters.

    Worst case - he might want you to two to have some "you time" in your best lingerie.

    I imagine he will probably show you his toolbox. Did he have any plastic tools in there?

    Ehh I better scurry off now....
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  6. #6
    Clear Air Turbulence Joni Marie Cruz's Avatar
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    I don't think I'd say anything either. Just put everything back the way you found it and keep it strictly to yourself. But I would carefully, in a non-obvious way, find an opportunity to bring up the subject of being TG, whether it's a television program, or movie, or something in the news when you and your BIL are alone, maybe over a beer or two. And if he doesn't rise to the bait, then I'd just leave it. Don't worry, he won't forget and will come out when the time is right for him. At least that's how I see it.

    Best wishes to you both and to your families as well.

    Hugs...Joni Mari
    "Because equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women. And the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it."

    --Joss Whedon, to a reporter who asked, "So why do you create these strong women characters?"

  7. #7
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Why feel guilty for borrowing a tool? He had to know if he stored it at your place that it could be found. Maybe it's time to tell someone else. Maybe then you will find something else that both of you can share.
    Michelle

  8. #8
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Maybe leave some of your girly stuff in close proximity to his tool box and let him accidentally "discover" yours. This would more or less put you and he on equal ground.
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  9. #9
    Just another 'Gurl'
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    I would not make any decision for at least 72 hours.
    Just another man in a dress

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sally2005's Avatar
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    Any chance he knows about you and planted it there as a gag? I would forget about it, but you could plant a calling card with www.crossdressers.com and on it and see if he ever joins.

  11. #11
    is in her vest
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    be super observant when you're with him...one day you may see the bra strap outlined, or a glimpse of panties.....then that is the time to chat with him i guess....
    Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime. ~Potter Stewart

  12. #12
    sunny with a high of 75!
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    Entrapment is a possibility- tread carefully.

    I like Nicole's idea best- "hey, can I borrow your torque wrench? You know, the one under the purple teddy" or whatever it was. If he was concerned about security, he would've locked it or found another place to keep it. If his reply is positive, or denying (indicating entrapment is not the purpose), then you could say "I've got a toolbox like that, too" or something to that effect.

    My first reaction is that he is a CDer, and suspects you are, too (no lock on the toolbox, etc), or at least wouldn't be surprised if you are.

    Of course, if he's only a novice at sneaking, he may have thought his stash secure. Wait, and watch- a moment will present itself eventually.

  13. #13
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I have NO IDEA, Chloe!

    Just BE CAREFUL, girl! U MAY BE standing in a MINEFIELD!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Gold Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally2005 View Post
    Any chance he knows about you and planted it there as a gag? I would forget about it, but you could plant a calling card with www.crossdressers.com and on it and see if he ever joins.
    Well, one would wonder why the guy would put a toolbox with femme garb in it into the garage like that.

    On the other hand, would someone really go thru that much trouble just for a gag? If he had put in like say ONE pair of pantyhose or whatever then yeah maybe gag. Maybe if he had like a Lou Reed "walk on the wildside" singe CD...
    Would his wife maybe be fat enough to wear the swimsuits?

    Ya gotta think, if this was a joke, well, I don't know, his fav thing might be swimsuits.

    I would bet $20 that the makeup set is one of those cheap "The Color workshop" sets that everyone in the world eventually gets for Christmas. n00bs and novices use those things.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  15. #15
    CATgirldo CATgirldo's Avatar
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    No! Don't ...unless you out yourself.

    Your in law asked a favor not expecting for you to find out. He will be horrified if he knew you found out. If it's important to you.. you need to take the step and come out to him first and not tell him you know. If he wants to tell you, that will be his chance. THEN you can mention you thought so.
    Still take it slowly, feel him out. Someone mentioned it might be a trap so there is a risk.
    If the risk is too great, forget all about it. The closeness you share could be a detriment.

    My 2 cents

    CAT
    Last edited by CATgirldo; 01-21-2010 at 12:24 AM. Reason: spelling

  16. #16
    Joanie sterling12's Avatar
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    Well, let's try The "Shoes on The Other Foot Method." Let's suppose he discovered your "stash." Would you want to be confronted about it? I think you see my point.

    It's likely he forgot he put The Stuff there...people do get absent-minded, especially when rushing around and moving a household.

    Maybe, if your real careful; in The Future, you can drop some hints about yourself. I know it's a huge temptation to find a CD Buddy, but I think you would be better off trying to do that within a Social/Support Group. Those people are "Out," and looking to make friends.... currently, your Brother-In-Law isn't! Your two are now "Family," and that could be for The Rest of your Lives. If you make a mistake, think of The Long-Term Consequences.

    Peace and Love, Joanie
    Last edited by sterling12; 01-21-2010 at 12:43 AM.

  17. #17
    Time Lady JiveTurkeyOnRye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sterling12 View Post
    Well, let's try The "Shoes on The Other Foot Method." Let's suppose he discovered your "stash." Would you want to be confronted about it? I think you see my point.
    Yes, if you phrase it that way, but why does it have to be a confrontation? If the other person was also a crossdresser and just wanted to say, hey it's ok, you're not alone, or heck even if the person wasn't a crossdresser but they delicately phrased the fact that they found the stuff but wanted to reassure me that it wasn't a big deal, then it wouldn't bother me that much and in the long run I'd be happy with it.
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  18. #18
    Silver Member Loni's Avatar
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    Smile

    say nothing.

    in the near future put a postet note in the box with the web address of "cross dressers.com"

    then let him/her do the next step.

    nothing more say or do.

    .

  19. #19
    Junior Member missygatv's Avatar
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    Not about you...about him

    I second all the girls that caution you not to say anything about it. The only way this is remotely acceptable is if you come out to him first and let him decide to come out to you.

    Hope it goes well.

  20. #20
    Silver Haired Member Phyliss's Avatar
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    Two options:

    Say something, or keep quiet.

    Mentioning anything in any way opens up too many doors.

    Saying nothing allows him to keep his "secret" and pride.

    If this was some sort of elaborate gag or "trap" , then, by saying nothing you turn the tables on him.

    Many years ago, I took great pains to set up a friend and I know the "gag" worked but he never said anything. Almost 5 years later at a social function, he casually mentioned the incident to another friend, without naming any names, almost bit my tounge in half keeping silent and holding a straight face. I know he suspects me, but I never let on that I was the culprit.
    He may never say anything about it, and by you not letting on that you "know" will probably be the best course.
    If he really wants to out himself, he'll have to do better than leaving some swin suits in his tool box.
    Lead me NOT into temptation
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  21. #21
    Senior Member Michelle 51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by "Mary" View Post
    Put it back and don't bring it up. But, be open to the topic and related topics/discussions.
    I think this would be my approach also because there might be another reason for this stuff being there but it sure looks like a another sister to me.
    If I knew where it was going to take me I probably would have put my mother's panties back.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sterling12 View Post
    Well, let's try The "Shoes on The Other Foot Method." Let's suppose he discovered your "stash." Would you want to be confronted about it? I think you see my point.

    It's likely he forgot he put The Stuff there...people do get absent-minded, especially when rushing around and moving a household.

    Maybe, if your real careful; in The Future, you can drop some hints about yourself. I know it's a huge temptation to find a CD Buddy, but I think you would be better off trying to do that within a Social/Support Group. Those people are "Out," and looking to make friends.... currently, your Brother-In-Law isn't! Your two are now "Family," and that could be for The Rest of your Lives. If you make a mistake, think of The Long-Term Consequences.

    Peace and Love, Joanie
    I would agree with that and also take into account what Sally2005 has said , so all in all it is best to forget about it and let him worry about it .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  23. #23
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloe' Buffington View Post
    I was surprized at what I found. 4 large ladies swim suits, a wig, a small makeup kit and some clip on earings.
    Sounds like you removed the items from the tool box.

    Did you put them back so he won't be able to tell they were touched?

    Think of the worry he'll be going through if he notices that his things were tampered with.

    I, for one, wouldn't want to have that worry on my mind.

    So, I'd tell him, "Look, don't get upset, because I'm cool with it, but I was looking in your tool box for a tool I didn't have. If you are using it to hide things from your wife, I suggest putting a lock on it."
    DonnaT

  24. #24
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Everything is not always as it appears or seems to be. Sometimes our enthusiasm gets the better of us and we can get booby trapped. Unless you yourself are prepared to be outed or don't care I'd say let it work itself out.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  25. #25
    Member Veronica75's Avatar
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    I really, really doubt it's a gag. Too random that you might go into his toolbox, rather than your own, to find a tool. He probably just got sloppy and didn't protect his stash well enough.

    I see why people say don't bring it up, but it is also a golden opportunity to get a new sister, especially since you said you get along very well with him already.

    Why don't you invite him over for NFL championship Sunday, just you and him, buy a 12 pack-- no, better, a case of beer, and see if it comes up in conversation? Maybe you could break the ice by asking, jokingly, which of the QBs still standing would look the best in drag (my vote would be for Mark Sanchez, followed by Drew Brees, but that's beside the point).

    Either way, good luck!
    Last edited by Veronica75; 01-21-2010 at 10:03 AM.

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