How do you shop?

[ladyboy_jessica]

As Jessica I am new to shopping. I've ordered a few things online but I'd really like to go out and shop for clothes in an actual store.

I don't know if I'm ready to step out on the street as Jessica, so I'll go as my boy half.

What reasons do you all give for shopping in the womans section? Especially since I'll be choosing clothes that will fit me, the sales assistant might actually be able to recognize the clothes or for me.

Just say they're for my girl friend, special other, who is about the same size as me?

[Sarah_new]

TBH, there is no point in lieing about it because a, they don't care, really, a sale is a sale and b they've seen it all before.

Also if you're honest you get more help from them.

If you're worried about the whole idea, go at a quiet time on a quiet day. I find 9:30-10:30 Tuesday and Wednesday mornings are good. Also if being noticed is an issue don't shop in your home town.

Everything femme I've bought I bought in store, mainly en drab, but most recently en femme and I've never had a problem with any sales assistant. Most knew it was for me, as all were helpful when I asked for help and advice.

[Kimmy55]

Your best bet is to say"These items are for me".Hopefully and quite frankly I'm sure they will understand and if you frequent the same place often enough the sales staff will even point out sale items,etc that will look good on you.Just relax

[melissacd]

Jessica,

I am totally honest, if asked. I say that the clothes are for me. Of course the dead give away is when I take a handful of clothes and go into the change room.

Most sales associates do not care, many are very interested and seriously want to help you. While they are interested in making a sale, I have found that many are at first intrigued and then genuinely interested.

Be confident of who you are.

Melissa Paige

[Starr]

i don't say anything, it doesn't matter who you are buying things for. If you were working in the store would you care who the person was buying things for; not really but you would be happy about selling the products.
i did buy some things at a Deb's one time and the two young girls behind the counter where ringing up and bagging my things when the one bagging said are these for you girlfriend. Before I could answer the one that rang the items up and saw the sizes just smiled and looked straight at me and said "why no, they are for him" and i just smiled back and shook my head yes as I took my bag and walked out the door, still smiling.. You see she knew but she really didn't care, might have been a little talk after I left since the girl bagging seemed to be new there.

[Linda St. John]

Let's face it, most of the SA's don't care and after the initial gawking are just happy they have something to talk about later !
You'll never see them again especially if it's Walmart in a large town.
Shopping in person sure beats the on-line experience...

[MelodyS.]

I do all my shopping in male mode and while I do get nervous I find it is not that hard to do if you just ignore everyone around you and just do it. I do shop at places that are far from my place so it lessens the chance of running into anyone I may know. I have yet to be asked who the items are for. Many men buy clothes for their wives/girlfriends, it is very common.

Just take a deep breath, bring a bottle of water with you, take a drink from it before going into the store and don't worry about the people around you. If you go early in the mornings on a weekday the stores are not so busy.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Jessica-

Good for you, girl. The first couple of times are always the hardest, just like almost anything else in life. As the other girls said, the sales people won't care who they're for, they're interested in making a sale. Looking all embarassed and popping out with, "If they don't fit, can 'she' return them?" just sounds so lame, like they haven't heard that one from guys buying girl clothes before.<lol> Yeah, I used to do it, too.

Now, whether in girlmode or endrabbe, I just pick what I want, try it on if I need to, and hand over the plastic. If someone offers to help and asks if it's for me, I don't mind saying it is, but I don't always volunteer it either. Just go for it and if any of the sales staff even looks at you sideways just take your hard earned money and go somewhere else.

Have fun and let us know what you scored.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[Jason+]

My shopping is done mostly in male mode other than ladies shorts or jeans, some boots and nail polish. If an SA asks I'll tell them it's for me. The other ladies have already mentioned they probably have an idea and I have noticed I get better help if I just tell them what I want or need. If I know I will be looking at shoes I make sure I have on pantyhose instead of socks since that's how I'll be wearing the shoes I buy anyways.

I reached the point where I will try it on before I take it home because it's easier than having to return it and I am less tempted to keep something that doesn't fit as well as I would like it to. I liked the idea about taking a bottle of water and having a sip before you march right on in and take care of business, and to 99% of the places you will go it's just that, business.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Sorry for any uncomfortable experiences you may have had, however it's only clothes. Bits of cloth cunningly sewn together. Nothing about shopping for any sort of clothing is bad, wrong, illegal, immoral, or inherently harmful to anyone. The fact that someone else, male or female, may find the sight of a man shopping for women's clothing somehow offputting is no reason not to.

Hugs...Joni Mari

[sherri52]

Tell the truth you'll get help from the Sa who will probably love you for it. You also have a better chance of not having to return to the store for the ones hat don't fit.

[AllieSF]

I understand your feelings Kelly. However, I am only concerned what others think when the other person is important to me for some specific reason, e.g. family member, friend, someone I work with, etc. Otherwise, their discomfort "will not" become my discomfort. That is their problem not mine. Yes, I get nervous sometimes when shopping in drab, but I deal with that as best that I can. As everyone else has recommended saying that it is for you when asked is no big deal, unless you are close to home. However, assuming that you are not extremely large (man-sized), answering a sales agent with "it is a gift" or "it is for my SO/daughter/mother/etc." works well too. If they believe you fine, if not, so what. You answered a question and now let's finish the purchasing process. Good luck.

[Kathi Lake]

How do I shop? Just like I eat - hungrily, with great abandon, and often!

Everyone here is correct. Stop making excuses that no one will believe. Tell them proudly that the items are for you, that you are a bit inexperienced, and are looking for help. If you don't get that help, ask for another person. If you still don't get help, go to another store.

Enjoy it. Shopping rocks - whether in boy mode (like I did yesterday) or girl mode (which I'll do next week, maybe).

Kathi

[SuzanneBender]

Kathi we are kindred sisters. I to shop with the reckless abandon of a teenage girl with her father's credit card! Lets face it were are making up for lost youth.

Most of the ladies here are right including some of the the gurus of shopping like Kathi. Be honest. Tell them it is for you. You will save money in the long run, you will get good service, you will get what you want and you will have a ball doing it!

I shop in both boy and girl mode. This past week I went shopping in both modes. In boy mode I think I tried on half the shoes in nine west the other day.

What's the worst that can happen? You get an SA that doesnt want to help. If that happens go to another store or find another SA.

[ladyboy_jessica]

Thanks ladies for all the replies!

I'm pretty excited for my first shopping trip!

Now do you all wait for the SA to approach or go looking for one?

[msbrownskinned]

I usually shop online but once I purchased a wig in person.

[Nicole Erin]

Jessica,

I am totally honest, if asked. I say that the clothes are for me. Of course the dead give away is when I take a handful of clothes and go into the change room.

Most sales associates do not care, many are very interested and seriously want to help you. While they are interested in making a sale, I have found that many are at first intrigued and then genuinely interested.
Melissa Paige

Thus is my experience.
Once in a while you get some bonehead who might say something dumb like "Hmm buying pantyhose I see..." but clerks could care less. They will not remember you unless you shop there often.

And with them asking who it is for, I have not had that happen. If they do just say something like "Oh I was just looking to see if anything new came in that I want" and be serious about it.

I mean if you start in with stories, they are gonna know you are BS'ing anyways. If you just act confident like it is the most natural thing in the world, they ain't gonna give you any hassle.

Also, in small stores the SA will typically ask if you need help. That can be annoying :S
One thing I used to do when I wanted an SA was stand in the pantyhose section. I don't know why but sometimes they break their legs trying to run to you fast enough to see if you need help.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Jessica-

Looking for help kind of depends on if you need it or not. I don't mean that to be quite as dumb as it sounds.<lol> You'll probably need some help in figuring out what size you wear and most sales people are pretty good at figuring it out just by looking. If you're comfortable with it, just tell whoever approaches you that you're shopping for yourself and tell them you need all the help you can get. They'll be glad to help you and I bet you'll walk out happy with your first experience.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

Hugs...Joni Mari

Now do you all wait for the SA to approach or go looking for one?

[Lisa Marie]

I purchased a wig a couple of times in a wig store the lady was real nice and helped me out with choosing what I wanted to try on. No need to be afraid!

[Karren H]

I shop till I drop......

and always try them on in the store before I buy.... and never make a lame excuses... Who cares what anyone thinks.......

[Fab Karen]

If you need sales help, just be honest. They've seen it before. If you make up stories, mentally they'll be rolling their eyes.

[Danni Kay]

As Jessica I am new to shopping. I've ordered a few things online but I'd really like to go out and shop for clothes in an actual store.

I don't know if I'm ready to step out on the street as Jessica, so I'll go as my boy half.

What reasons do you all give for shopping in the womans section? Especially since I'll be choosing clothes that will fit me, the sales assistant might actually be able to recognize the clothes or for me.

Just say they're for my girl friend, special other, who is about the same size as me?

You could give an excuse (present for your girlfriend or sister, Halloween) but it will be a better and more fulfilling experience if you just start telling the truth that the clothes are for you. 9 out of 10 SA's won't care or will think it's cool.

Most guys don't buy clothes, jewelry, make-up, or feminine accoutrement for the women in their life (unlike women, who will buy guy's things for their men), so the sales staff are probably already "on to you" anyway, just by you being there. Just be forthright. That way, you can try on the pretty outfits in the dressing room!

[Annie D]

Yes, I shop as Annie but am pretty selective about the stores that I frequent. Once I am inside the store browsing, I am not a bit nervous.

I also shop for feminine outfits in drab and even take my selections into the changing rooms. I have never had anyone who counted the number of articles say a single word. The day before yesterday, I returned two articles of clothing that I purchased on Tuesday, but failed to try on, and told the SA that I foolishly bought them without trying them on in the store. Yes, I was dressed as a male. Not a word or raised eyebrow.

I have yet to enter mall to shop as Annie for fear that I would be recognized. I stick to Ross, Marshalls, Catherines, Lane Bryant, Dots, Payless, DSW Shoes; you get the idea.

The more you do it, the more confident you will become.

[ladyboy_jessica]

I'm going to the store today! I'm so excited I keep pacing around the house.

I highly doubt I'll buy anything today as I want to just look around and feel what it is like to be en drab and going through the womans section without another woman there.

Who knows though, right? I mean I could actually go in and see something gorgeous that just screams "buy me!", and if it does I'm so going to buy it.

[crsdrs]

I like shopping in the christmas rush - near valentine's day & near mother's day! Kinda blend in and easier asking for help!