Just one negative time and numerous positive ones. I posted my negative one just recently. By the way, when I told the SA at another store what happened (same chain) she apologized for the way the other SA treated me. Said she must be stupid!
Just one negative time and numerous positive ones. I posted my negative one just recently. By the way, when I told the SA at another store what happened (same chain) she apologized for the way the other SA treated me. Said she must be stupid!
My experiences have always proven positvive with store associates. Usually the biggest issue is my own fear. I all to often act as though no man has bought woman's clothes for himself aside from me.
Just another man in a dress
I have almost always been treated well by SAs when out shopping in either mode. At the minimum they are polite, often they do go over and above, recomending items for me to try etc. One time when I was looking for a specific style skirt, the SA at an Avenue store knew that they had stopped carrying them but gave me very specific directions to a competitor across town that did have them. She even remembered me every time I came in the store while she still worked there, asking if I found the skirt, and generally being friendly. The only times I have had even a small problem is when I am in male mode and I ask to try on an item, some stores are OK, some are hesitant, and a very few say no. The only other problem I had was from another customer. I was in my favorite shoe store (The Big Feet Store) trying on some nice pumps (BTW the experience of a full service shoe store is not to be missed). An older GG customer came in, stating she was looking for shoes for her daughter who had large feet. When she saw me she made a comment to the manager (who is very CD friendly) that she had such a hard time finding shoes for her daughter because "all the transvestites have bought them up". I almost burst out laughing. I then bought the shoes, she left without buying anything. Anyway, I do love shopping, and as I said, very little problem..........Stephanie
I've been having great interactions with SA's so far.
Males at normal stores seem to be the worst. They seem to want to make a point of calling me sir. Maybe I'm not passable enough, or they're passing judgement. Don't freakin' care!
I care more about what GGs think.
DSW has been the only real downer. Haven't gotten much help there at all. Generally ignored by all the SA's. Except the one a couple weeks ago. She asked me if I needed help & I said yes. She then proceeded to help me a bunch & answer a whole bunch of questions I had.
VS has been friendly, but I can't afford to buy anything there yet. Haven't gotten a lot of help, but haven't asked much. Will do so when I have at least $50 to spend there.
Thanx for all your helpful advice and comments! In summation, attitude is everything. However, I would not interact with a male SA or male in general no matter what while en femme. That's where I would draw the line!
Laura
You are NOT crossdressed until you are wearing high heels!
the erotic black patent stiletto heel... surely there is no greater aphrodisiac??
I remember going into Macy's very early in my "career"..hehOriginally Posted by LauraCassidy
I bought some stockings and a blouse...i checked out and TOWERED over a 5' indian woman that just had this GIANT SMILE on her face...and she kept looking up at me and kept staring at my hairy arms (at that time it was not an option to shave them)....lol
years later, was at a cashier and when she rang up my credit card, my real name came up huge on her screen and she had a script which she recited, saying ..thanks so much MR. xxx., and she paused...i whispered that I have only been a woman for a short time, and she laughed and said i was doing a damn good job...
other than that...never ever in my life has an SA or waiter indicated anything and those times weren't bad at all..
So Laura I would urge you to consider that you are paying these folks to treat you right and you might just love the experience of dealing with them.
teenage girls on the other hand..................
My very first time asking an SA for help was just the other night. She didn't like me and told me I wouldn't find what I'm looking for (said it rather rudely) and walked away. I just left the store after that, I'll never shop there again and am still considering writing an email about it to the corporate offices.
removed
I thought for sure that shopping in male mode for woman's things would be even harder than en femme. I was in a Payless (my wife had just slid around the corner to look for hersel) and I had just put on a pair of 5" clogs and lovee the way they felt as a I walked....when an SA came up behind me and asked if I needed any help (she couldn't have been over 5'5" and in those heels I was 6'4"). Even though startled I calmly said, "no, I'm ok". She asked, "are those for you"? Well, what can one say? I'm clearly trying them on, and I'm the only one in the aisle, and it's not like you can easily buy shoes for someone else! So I just replied, "uh huh". She smiled and let me know that the second pair was half price! and that she'd be glad to help if I needed any.
That was my first interaction with an SA and I've never once worried about it since. I've never had a problem!
tina
...make your displeasure known to either the store manager or else escalate it to the level of the store's (chain's?) head office. No one catering to the public has a right to treat customers in the kind of condescending and disrespectful manner satirized so effectively in the "soup Nazi" episodes on the old Seinfeld shows.
Like many CDer's, I was nervous and shy when I first went out in public en femme, and always went on the premise that my need to crossdress was my "problem", that it was up to me to deal with it in the most appropriate way possible, and that by extension, I had no business making other people feel uncomfortable by doing this openly - including SA's who would be obliged to serve me when I was shopping in their stores.
I still feel that way in principle, but have also come to the realization that since I make the effort to look, act and dress in as lady-like and age-appropriate a manner as possible (i.e. unlike some Lady Gaga or drag queen caricature of femininity), SA's can at least extend me the courtesy of treating me in kind - especially since I probably dress more fashionably and "put together" than 90% of their typical GG clientele.
I have found that this "pay it forward" approach has served me very well over the years, including being honest and open about the fact that I am a crossdresser, should the question ever come up. As others here have already alluded to, the typical SA will respond in kind, treat us with the same respect due to a GG customer, and in some cases even go "above and beyond" in helping us put our outfits together. Invariably, that is because they are so impressed by our courage to be ourselves that they want to help us as much as possible in succeeding in that quest. And that level of empathy is likely also tied to the innate "mothering" instinct that most women possess.
If we walk into a women's wear store with a self-confident attitude that says we belong there just like any other paying customer, the SA's will pick up on that subliminal message and respond accordingly. And those of us who have had the "cojones" to ask to try on women's clothes while out shopping in drab can attest to the fact that the same principle applies there as well.
You know, when you think about it, there tons of people out there who just love to draw attention to themselves in public by expressing themselves in a manner which most of us would consider to be "in your face" i.e. the ones sporting multiple body piercings, extensive tattoos, purple hair, punk hairstyles, goth make up, wearing lots of "bling", dressed in grungy or sexually provocative clothing including T-shirts bearing vulgar or offensive slogans or sayings etc., etc. And then we, as conservatively and appropriately attired crossdressers should somehow feel "dirty" or shameful in the eyes of the public just because we prefer to express ourselves in our particular manner?
Not this "gurl" - not any more!
Hi Laura,
I wasn't dressed but I have had two experiences with SAs. To my everlasting regret I was too "shook up" to answer. The first one involved paying at a check stand for some nylons. A very attractive middle aged cashier smiled and asked "Are these for you?" The second incident was at a shoe store. I was looking at a pair of spike heel sandals and a similar middle aged sales lady asked If I would like to try them on. I have always wondered what might have followed had I said yes?
Why is that a problem?
For example if I was shopping for shoes and the SA happened to be male and offered his assistance it wouldn't be any different from a female SA offering assistance. It's not like speaking with him would imply that I have to have sex with him or anything so his gender shouldn't be an issue...at all.
Veronica Rogers
If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.
All of the above is possible I suppose, but I've had only one bad experience (and it rolled of my back):
I was in a 9West store once and asked if they had this shoe in a 10, and the young girl looked at me and started laughing! Then she walked away! She just couldn't handle it
Reminded me of that scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life where the roman soldier was trying for dear life to keep from laughing.
I've been shopping (let's see, 52 x 15, carry the 1 ...) a jillion times en femme over the last 15 years, and that is the only remotely bad thing I've encountered from an SA.
When I ask for help, they are usually quite helpful. However, I do try to look "normal" (whatever that means), which for me is not wearing a tight mini skirt and 5" stillettos, and I'm relaxed and pleasant, like that apophrycal Kangaroo who buys a drink at a bar...
I'm not sure what an "SA" is. I live in Europe and most of my retail shopping is in places like H&M and C&A where the only interaction with staff you have is at the check-out. There, I can tell you, regardless of what you buy they are glad you're spending your money there and paying, in some small part, their salaries.
In January, all of the glad rags on the hangar before the holidays are discounted 20-50%. Those of us with a long perspective snatch them up, and the checkout folk are very glad when we do. Is there *anybody* here who actually had a problem spending their own money for something for sale in a store? Not me--not ever.
Kellie - SA stands for Sales Associate.
Once at business depot, the young girl at the checkout was litterally scared to death after she read me, she didn't know how to react (probably a new employee) so I just smiled and said thanks. She seemed happy that I was pleasant with her and smiled in the end. Another time, I don't know if I was read, but at a thrift store the checkout woman asked questions loudly like do I want a bag, after I nodded no...I was too scared to use my voice then. Recently, at Walmart and a dollar store I smiled and spoke to the cachiers who treated me kindly and just like any other customer. So, I would say it is probably all positive as long as you are relaxed and comfortable with a sense of entitlement.
I have had a few instances where I was looked at with disgust or where I could tell the SA thought I was strange but I have never had anything said to me and no one has ever tried to stop me from making a purchase.
Be yourself society doesn't know that there is no such thing as being normal.
If you can't find the silver lining make your own.
I get ignored mostly by SA's untill i check out then they seem to be nice to me. But that only happens in womens clothing stores are wal mart.
Good bye i'm at wacko taco .com now
I felt the same as us when I found out that on my second time out I was having my second makeover and the second day out ever and instead of a girl at MAC doing my makeup it was a gut. WHen I found out I froze, and thought " OMG a gut is going to do my makeup. You see I went to the mall in drab and would change after the makeup was done in the makeover room. It scared me a little but when He started to teach me how to do my makeup I relaxed and it was fine. He told me that he was gay so to make me more comfortable (he saw I was nervous) and when he was done I felt better.
So after that when I see a male SA I no longer care. If they don't like me TFB for them. I like (love) me and they don't have to.
I have never had a problem with a Male SA or a female either.
So don't look at the men as a threat look at them as someone whom (might) be gay or CD too. They do see CD sometimes so it's ok. And if you are there first think of it this way , you will make there day and they will have a good story to tell there friends. And don't worrie about them saying "and I know who that women is as a guy cuz they unless they know you in drab will never guess.
Just have fun and don't limit yourself and you will find friends and fun where you lest expect it. TA TA.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC].....................100% Authentic Canadian Cross-dressing Truckdriver!!!!!!!!!
(((((((((((((((((((("I LOVE BEING A CROSSDRESSER")))))))))))))))))))
Link to My 20th high school reunion http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=112976
If you don't like my (honesty) well TFB.
Men are just a single celled orgasm , In a petri dish held by a woman. (Gene Simmons)
I've been a shop-a-holic since I've been out, and the easiest response I can give is that generally SA's are great, but you're going to find a few that will be iffy here and there..
Like, just this past weekend, I was in a Maurices in NH, and the young girl SA was SO kind I wanted to give her a tip afterwards! She took the things I was carrying, asked me my name, and came back twice more to add more things to my dressing room that she put my name on the cute little hanging whiteboard outside the room!
I go into the Gap at the mall, and people are just the same, friendly, supportive, and willing to help.. and the list could go on and on..
Yet, I went into a Dress Barn store, and we had our backs to the SA as she walked up, and she said 'How can I help you ladies today?' and we both turned about, but when the SA saw me (and I was dressed very respectibly) she was like, 'Oh, sorry, I mean SIR.' grrr...
Just have to take that kind of crap with a grain of salt, smile, and move on!
I was in VS the other night and could not have had a better experance everybody was SOOOOOOO nice.
I second this, in fact, I even had a really, really positive experience with a male SA when out as a "guy in a skirt." Last fall I was in a Gap store at one of the local malls here and I was currently dressed in a skirt and tights and boots but otherwise presenting as a man. I was looking through a rack of plaid pencil skirts at the store when a male SA approached me. He asked me if he could help me and I asked him if they had the skirt in another color because the website did. He told me they didn't but they might get more in, and if I wanted to, I could try on the skirt they did have just to get my sizing right in case I wanted to order it from the site. He then asked me my size and I said a 12. He stopped at looked at me and then said "I think you're probably closer to a 10." I had recently lost a lot of weight, and had gone from 14/16 depending on the store, down to wearing 12s on average, but he sized me up and gosh darn it, he was right. I tried on the 10 and it fit great. I never would have considered going down a size if he hadn't suggested it, which means if I'd made a point of avoiding a male SA, I might still be wearing a size too big.
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~Riley
Check out my trans themed standup on YouTube!
My Tumblr Blog
Ya gotta love it when they surprise you when they know your size better than you.... AS for going down a size or two I have not had that......ever. So good for you.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC].....................100% Authentic Canadian Cross-dressing Truckdriver!!!!!!!!!
Link to My 20th high school reunion http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=112976
If you don't like my (honesty) well TFB.
Men are just a single celled orgasm , In a petri dish held by a woman. (Gene Simmons)
I haven't shopped en femme...can't happen...but I do frequent the same stores and the SAs know me. I can say that most just treat me like any other customer. I have redeemed a couple hosiery cards at my favorite department store. The SA very cherrily thanked me for buying so much hosiery!
