How does it affect you?

[GaleWarning]

The only effect crossdressing has on my life is that I spend way too much time on this site.

[Shelly67]

I sometimes wish I could just wash it away . my wife enjoys the time spent together , and it's a relaxing affair . But , I'm getting a little fed up with comments here and there , like eye brows , shaven arms ect . I do feel a little guilty not having come out totally to my family and few friends ...but what really gets my goat is the nerve of some people passing comments . I don't judge folks on they're looks ...... and would never say things to gain a reaction . Why can't folks just accept people for what they are ??
Perhaps I'm too sensative .
I do also occaisionally regret the amount of money spent on crossdressing . Even tho an awful lot is obtained as cheaply as possible over the years it mounts up . Then theres the realization , new dress shoes , makeup , to only just sit at home feeling sensual , and within a flash sometimes feeling silly , wishing to take it all off , have a massive bonfire in a purgence .
There's a myriad of emotions and feelings in crossdressing , perhaps if I were to come out totally I'd find peace , but I doubt it .
It's a horrible bullying truth that there are certain places and people ( including where I live) that regard people like me with a stigma , a freak on a leash , and it bothers me .I still feel guilty . To be honest I'm thinking of quitting ( it'll never happen for long ) dressing and taking a different path in life to see how I truely develope ...........

Perhaps this humerous slogan I read on a wall in London years ago sums me up - " Roses are red , violets are blue , I'm a schitzophrenic and so am I "
Talk about an itch that will not go away .......

[Loni]

like a drug...the more i dress the more i want to dress.

no wife, no girl friend, so none of "those problems"

no wife, no girl friend, so no one to shaire "those problems "

some here say balance, not sure about that, what is balance. i have been off for so long, not sure what that is.

just love being loni, working on getting her out again, (had to pack up all life for a time). with a life changing event last year and now that things are better, just trying to learn more about and expand me.
sounds selfish....
spend a lot of time alone..but always have. put off other things that must get done to please loni.
how does one put thoughts into words that say something? not a writer.

but as to how it affects me, i must say for the better.

.

[Rianna Humble]

I'd say that cross dressing affects me in different ways at different levels.

At home, it causes mental strife because my dad would never be able to understand and my political enemies would use it to destroy someone about whom I care if they find out before I am completely retired from the political arena.

Travelling to and from work, I find I am so much more relaxed when I'm dressed and in work, my dressing is tolerated within boundaries that I am still exploring. I don't yet know how that might change if I go for a new job.

On the emotional level, I always tried to be compassionate and understanding, but since I have accepted my transgender, I find these qualities are becoming even more natural to me.

Like many of the other girls who have contributed to this thread, I find I am spending a lot of time on this forum that I should maybe be using for other things, but it helps me to balance out the other pressures in my life.

In relationships, it has allowed me to make two new true friends and has helped me to realise that most of those I called "friends" only want to know me for what I can give them. One - a married GG - says she finds that sad, but I would rather have two or three true friends (like her) who accept me for who I am than dozens who want to mould me into their idea of who I should be.

[Jenniferpl]

Since coming to terms with who I am, I would say it has had equal positive and negative results. The calmness Jennifer brings to my live has been beneficial. The flip side is I have noticed a change in my marriage. Although supportive, my wife seems distant of late.

Overall it has complicated my live. I spend a great deal of time on this site. I able to say things here that I am unable to with my wife. The time spent here could be spent doing other things. Also, these days I wish the need would go away. I am uncertain which side is in control.

I think live without Jennifer would be boring and unfullfilling though. She is a big part of my life and has taken me on a amazing journey.

[Samantha_Smile]

I find negatives and positives.

My GF doesn't know I dress, and the guilt that I feel from that is a big negative.
I also get quite secretive in times of dressing, and this can create distance occasionally, between us.

The positives?
Where do I start.
Im a much calmer, more caring person for dressing.
I don't tend to panic as easily.
I get to feel, look and smell pretty and feminine.
I can relax and not worry about holding myself as a guy (I can find myself letting one wrist go limp on occasion when in guy mode... hate it), en femme, I can do whatever.
The clothes make me feel softer and more gentle, like Im something delicate.

One final positive, I can choose how I act based upon what I wear.
Dont get that wearing jeans and a t-shirt all day every day!

[sometimes_miss]

My work, not affected at all, as I'm not 'out'. Relationships, well, none anymore, as I've tried to make it clear from the outset that I'm a crossdresser, and haven't found any women who find that attractive. So that's pretty much put an and to my social life. Back when I got divorced, those I told about my crossdressing have since pretty much eliminated me from their lives. I have a few friends left, who know nothing about my crossdressing, and I feel I have to keep it that way, or I'll be completely alone.

[Kate Simmons]

Many thanks to everyone who responded so far. I have to play "catch up" a bit as for some reason I have been unable to access the Forum for the last couple of days.

I'd say for myself until I balanced my feelings and integrated them, the CDing which was only really tolerated by my SO and family was a constant source of stress. I decided to take ownership of the feelings and make the dressing a conscious choice. That was the only way I could beat it as a compulsion. I had voiluntatily been away from it for a full year until recently. I don't "need" to do it per se but as my best friend told me it's "what you do" especially when I go out dancing because that is when the energies really flow freely. I was in denial of that fact but it is what it is. I've realized the best thing to do is just be yourself and enjoy life.

[CharlotteW]

Apart from my wife and maybe my eldest step-son (I think he's worked it out) my family don't know about my CD side. However, nearly everyone has seen me wearing tights/pantyhose and girly shoes and nobody says a word about it. It has very little effect on my life.

[suchacutie]

I started thinking about all the ways life has changed in the last 4+ years. The list went on and on. It's really a very positive list but I find that there is a way to sum it all up:

Because of Tina and a loving wife I continue to be able to explore a part of me that I never identified and never understood. There are not many better things in life than learning about who you are. Tina has augmented my life and my relationship with my wife. Everything that I do has a component of Tina...everything.

See, that was better than reading a long boring list, no?

tina

[NatalieBliss]

Negative: I have sabotaged relationships (with girlfriends) to avoid telling them. I have avoided getting into relationships to avoid telling them.

Positive: When in relationships I think I have been a better bf. More understanding, more caring, better lover...

Though I can't be "all" of me with my friends, who I am with them is not a lie, excluding those of omission.

Overall I am a better person and consider it an incredibly positive aspect of my life. I am working, as all of us are (if I may be so bold) on finding a balance.

[Jennaie]

It has not affected my life at all in a very long time, but then, I have not dressed in a very long time either.

[kimdl93]

Like many of the respondents, I live my life in two dimensions. At home with my wife, I'm Kim - dressed as a woman. And out in the world, I'm the same person, but dressed as a man. A few of my female friends seem to pick up on some "vibe"...that I'm different than other males in some respect. For example, I spent an evening with my wife and several of her female co workers - I was the only male there...and they made me feel like one of the girls...although none of them mentioned if they noticed my stockings or the straps of my cami under my top.

[thechic]

Hi there
It makes my life so Complicated.
Spending larger amounts of money,the Stress,lying,hiding things,depression,enjoyment Etc.
But it does make life more bearable.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/44936757@N07/

[MalibuJenny]

Before I came to terms with everything -- before I understood my desires and the reasons for them -- I had a tougher time. Mainly because I hadn't fully accepted things myself, so it was hard to share with others.

But I'm really lucky in that I've never felt profound shame or guilt over this part of my life and in fact, have come to feel really good about it. When faced with the hypothetical "if you could take a pill today and change this part of you..." that's an easy resounding No! for me.

Although I'm not dressing much these past several years (I live alone, just haven't had a strong desire for a variety of reasons) I love my dressing experiences and am very glad I full explored this side of myself at a time when I was very free to do so. I've had some incredibly accepting girlfriends, have been out a bunch and basically fulfilled almost all my fantasies.

Although it does cause some apprehension in the early stages of a new relationship, I'm drawn to understanding, giving and open people in general, so I have actually started to look forward telling the new person in my life.

And when I do tell them, it's with pride and enthusiasm. Of course, that is tempered with respecting their limits and concerns but I discovered a long time ago that unless you feel good about yourself (and any part of yourself) you can't expect someone else to be accepting, either.

So, while when I was younger and before I had access to forums like this and all the resources on the internet, I'd say crossdressing for me was a negative.

But now, I see it as a very positive thing where I've had some fantastic experiences.

[wanda jackson]

Wow. This is a complicated question. I think the best way for me to answer this is to start another thread where I can ask another very philosophical question...

[Sandra]

More like how it affects you life's dynamics like relationships, livlihood, friendships, etc. What , if any, adjustments do you have to make to compensate? This is open for comment to absolutely everyone, including SO's.

It's brought us closer together and I certainly will ask more instead of keeping quiet. As for livlihood it's not affected that at all, we work at the same place and whilst I know that people will talk, nothing has been said to me.

Now friendships again not really been affected, lost one couple and to be honest it's their lost not mine.