Getting bored of going out alone in New York

[Koka]

Hi Everybody,

I have been going out pretty much every week and I like doing it during the daytime so I can express and share myself with the world, however, I feel that I am getting bored doing my outings alone. I wish I can have a friend I can go out with and talk, have lunch, laugh and have a good time. Does anyone have the same feeling? I am in New York City and I really doubt I am the only who does what we do. Where are the NY girls? - Are they all night ladies only? - Can anyone suggest what to do besides walking around the mall or in the library by oneself?

Let me hear your thoughts!..


Kisses

Koka

[LisaM]

Koka,

I feel the same way in Chicago. There are gender events here with either Tri-Ess or the Cgicago Gender Society. But often the dates aren't always good and I really like just being out in the real world as opposed to going to gender events.

So the answer is yes---there are others in similar situations.

[melissacd]

Koka,

I live much of my life femme and I feel the same way. I live in an area where I do not have any local CD friends to go out with for a girl's day or night out. If I want to trek an hour into the big city then there are more options but it would be nice if I had more local girlfriends who were as comfortable in normal public venues day or night, the same as I am.

Melissa Paige

[Erin Li]

Koka,

I get a little bored going out alone too. But it's my own fault. Going out for me really depends on how I'm feeling. Sometimes I get all ready to go, then 'chicken out' right before walking out the front door. Sometimes it's the opposite, I'll just be sitting at my computer, then on a whim shut it down and grab my purse and go! That makes it hard for me to plan to do stuff.

Regardless, it would be nice to have someone to go out and do stuff with while dressed. Maybe try going to a movie, or see a show? I've only been to NY a few times, but each time I thought about how cool it would be just to walk around some of the neighborhoods dressed (I'm sure there's lots to stay away from while dressed too!)

[Genifer Teal]

How do you get out during the day? Guess you don't work much. As for me, I enjoy the night life of NYC more anyway.

Gen

[Koka]

Hi Genifer,

I only go out on Fridays . I have a lot of flexibility in my job. Sometimes, I even go out and take work with me. I bring my laptop, files and sit at any Starbucks or Barnes and Noble. It is fun !!

[Topsykret]

Feeling the same way here in Montreal...

[sherri52]

I wish you girls luck in someone PM' to go out on the town with you. If you meet anyone that doesn't mind getting shot at send them over here to redneck farm country. I have GG friends but they're hombodies.

[dennisGTS]

Koka, if I had your courage to go out fully dressed (and look as hot as you do), live in NYC (not upstate NY), I'd definitely want to hang out with you in the city!

[MimiLee]

Hey Koka - I would luv to hang out with, but I have to work and I'm also closet stricken. Sorry!

[paulaN]

This Maine girl has the exact same problem. The closest small city is an hour away. And then there is still no TG population there. I would not think anyone would have that trouble in NYC. Go figure.

[AllieSF]

While you are searching for that going out with friend, why not vary your venues and do some different things. NYC has so much to see, do and enjoy. Try some museums, art galleries, used book stores, antique shops, Broadway play matinées, guided tours, etc., etc. etc. There is never "nothing" to do in NYC. Try and have some fun and leave the laptop at home. You will be able to actively interface with whomever you meet on the outing. Good luck and enjoy life, it has an unlisted expiration date.

[ReineD]

Koka, why don't you attend some local TG support groups? You'll be sure to meet others there who also would like to have a friend to go out with.

[Megan70]

Had an interesting outing last Friday. Was out with my wife and her pre-op transexual friend who she mentors as a mental health counsel and friend, through a Mental health support grourp called Compeer. I went out dressed with the other 2 ladies and we shopped as 3 women in Fashion Bug then went to the mall to buy clearance items at Penneys.

I don't usually get bored because i don't over do it in frequency and I am my own best friend and a solitary loner myself. I prefer it that way. But yes it does get boring sometime. Thats why I have a local CD/TG group that I hang out with om Saturday nights at a TG?/gay barduring spring and summer saturdays twice a month, and mix and mingle with up to a half dozen or more girls like me.
I have the best of both shopping and social worlds as a crossdresser, and I like the fact that my wife is getting to really like Joanne her Compeeer assigned person and has her over to our house often to talk, advise and give mother hen, womanly advice. She is the envy of many of you here.I stay out of it and in another room, because thats her paid job.
Gotta love it Koka. If I lived in NYC I 'd have lunch or dinner with you in a millisecond but it wasn't meant to be. Sorry dear.

Megan

[karen88st]

Koka,

I totally understand how you feel because I have exactly the same feelings too. I went out last week in the early afternoon. However, after a few hours shopping in the mall, I got so bored that I don't know where I should go next. I ended up doing a pedicure, which I really enjoyed.

[Katesback]

If you are borred how about getting out in the world and getting involved in things. Perhaps some sort of volunteering, joining a group, partaking in a hobby that exposes you to other people.

Note all of these things anyone can do. The fact that you are dressed as a girl or guy is not important. The fact that you get involved as whoever you wish to present is the point and how you will make friends, gain confidence, enjoy life, educate people, ect. ect.

[sherri]

Gosh Koka, if you can't find friends in NYC then we're all doomed! Just teasing. Seriously, if you're completely out and not hindered by the need for secrecy, then eventually it comes down to just living life, right? What do "straight" people do to make friends and keep themselves entertained? You seem to be a great candidate for Katesback's advice. To me, it's not so much a need to make TG friends (although that's great too) as just making friends whatever their orientation, as long as they're cool with my gender expression.

Many of us are restricted to night life cuz of our situations and/or environments, and yeah, I've been getting pretty bored with all that. The bar scene is a great way to get out of the closet a little bit, but it really wears thin eventually if you're not really a bar person. Over the years I've made some friends in the clubs, but for the most part they're just bar friendships that don't carry over into real life. It leaves you wanting more, which is why, I guess, I haven't been going out much lately. I chalk it up to one of the unfortunate circumstances of this time period as our culture transitions to greater acceptance and assimilation.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Go out with some GG friends and have a girly night out like I do or come over to New Jersey and stroll the malls or take a drive to the shore.

[skirtsuit]

You're welcome in Philly anytime.

All the Best,
Ann / SS

[Michelle_NY]

I'd def love to go out with you gf, but remember, not all of us look as good as you do gf.I can only dream, XO Michelle

[gennee]

[SIZE="4"]Koka, I live in New York City and I have gone numerous paces alone. Ate in restaurants, gone to movies, poetry venues, film festivals, and even a couple of church services. I am involved with a couple of groups at the community center. There's been many times I've been out all day.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[Starfire Jade]

Hi Everybody,

I have been going out pretty much every week and I like doing it during the daytime so I can express and share myself with the world, however, I feel that I am getting bored doing my outings alone. I wish I can have a friend I can go out with and talk, have lunch, laugh and have a good time. Does anyone have the same feeling? I am in New York City and I really doubt I am the only who does what we do. Where are the NY girls? - Are they all night ladies only? - Can anyone suggest what to do besides walking around the mall or in the library by oneself?

Let me hear your thoughts!..


Kisses

Koka

I'd join ya, Im 3 hours away.

[jill_cd_girl]

I feel the same way, even when I lived in Los Angeles - all dressed up and nowhere to go! For me, what made it difficult was that I just wanted to hang out with one or a few people in an intimate setting. But mostly, people are looking for a sexual experience, so it's hard to find someone who just wants to have a mellow time without any of the pressures.

[dilane]

Hey Koka - I would luv to hang out with, but I have to work and I'm also closet stricken. Sorry!

Hmm, looking as good as you do, I think you just need someone to "drag" you out into the open

That's how I got started going out in public -- a bolder, more experienced friend gave me the impetus.

-- Diane

[CDastoria]

Hi Everybody,

I have been going out pretty much every week and I like doing it during the daytime so I can express and share myself with the world, however, I feel that I am getting bored doing my outings alone. I wish I can have a friend I can go out with and talk, have lunch, laugh and have a good time. Does anyone have the same feeling? I am in New York City and I really doubt I am the only who does what we do. Where are the NY girls? - Are they all night ladies only? - Can anyone suggest what to do besides walking around the mall or in the library by oneself?

Let me hear your thoughts!..


Kisses

Koka

Koka...I'd LOVE to go out with you. I live in queens and would be happy to do it. And I'm free during the day