Outed x 3...none my choice

[DiannaRose]

Last Saturday, my wife went out with her brother as she sometimes does, leaving me alone to peruse the boards here and email some friends. I was a little depressed about being alone at first, until I had a wonderful post-to-post chat with Bethany. (Hi B!)

Anyway, I just found out today that my wife spilled the beans about me to her brother that night. She spilled some beans about herself, too (some of you will recall that she's going through some self-realizations herself). I actually don't mind that she told him about me...I had told her before that if she needs to tell someone, I was cool with it (because I'm not ashamed of it, she is).

Now, she had previously told two of her friends about me (both lesbians, which you'd think would be cool, since they are also part of the whole "LGBT" alphabet). They both laughed about it in a "isn't that weird" kind of way.

But her brother--God bless his open-minded soul--basically said to her "So? You love him, don't you? Who cares if he's into something a little unusual...we all have our secrets, and his isn't as bad as some." I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist.

The other two out-ings did nothing to alleviate my wife's demonizing of what I do. Her brother did. She's still not cool with it, still doesn't want anything to do with it, but she begins to see that maybe I'm NOT the monster she thought I was.

So now I'm out to three people (not counting the 14,000+ here LOL), one of which is my own brother-in-law, none of which did *I* choose to tell (but again, I don't mind that she did).

I'm grateful to God for working through her brother to open her heart just a little. All the time it seems like He's ignoring our prayers, He's working in the background. I know some of you don't see it that way, but some of you know exactly what I mean.

Just thought I'd share my tiny bit of good news with my sisters.

[SherriePall]

Yes, I know what you mean. And that's wonderful about your brother-in-law.

[KimberlyJo]

well here's hoping that your road becomes a little less rocky Dianna!

[Persephone]

I know what you mean too.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[DonnaT]

It's great that you are not ashamed of this, and gave your wife permission to tell. I did the same.

Congrats for having an open minded brother in law!

[PretzelGirl]

I recently had my wife tell a couple of friends also Dianna. It is an advantage. I have always thought that one of the worst things we do to someone is to tell them and then also tell them that no one can know. Well we just released our stress over not being able to tell someone and transferred it to them! So giving them that outlet is a big deal. Good for you!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dianna

Just a little speed bump on the highway of life.

Orchid

[bethany356]

Babysteps, Annie, babysteps...!

[5150 Girl]

My SO outs me all the time and to anyoine who will listen to her. The cool part is, she not complaining, she's bragging!
Just the other day, she had some out of town freinds over, and the topic came up. (I think Holoween inspired it) well, first pics came out, then showed off my closet, and before I knew it, she had me trying things on, and modling for them, shoes, my fancy hose, dresses, and it even progressed to a teddy and even a body stocking!

[DiannaRose]

One of my wife's fears early on was that our families would find out. Specifically she once asked me what would her brother say? How would he react? She was deathly afraid of him (and other people we know) finding out.

Well, guess we found the answer to that question, didn't we? And if HE wasn't freaked out by it...Well, let's just hope that little seed finds good soil in which it can grow in her.

Thanks for all your comments and support, ladies! You're the best!

Body stocking, eh, 5150? Wrapping up a full fashion show...you must have been in heaven! Congratulations!

[paulaN]

I am living proof that God does work if you belive. God is a big part of my twelve step program. I truly hope that the seed that was planted has found some good soil. Be safe, Be happy, Be well.

[Staci G]

I'm grateful to God for working through her brother to open her heart just a little. All the time it seems like He's ignoring our prayers, He's working in the background. I know some of you don't see it that way, but some of you know exactly what I mean.



I do know exactly what you mean. My wife uses God in the other way though and says its sinful of me to even want to wear anything pertaining to a woman. God bless your bro in laws little pea pickin heart.

[Lorileah]

Now, she had previously told two of her friends about me (both lesbians, which you'd think would be cool, since they are also part of the whole "LGBT" alphabet). They both laughed about it in a "isn't that weird" kind of way.

Welcome to the LGBT community where support is ...well lacking. In this case I think it was more that they felt they were ostracized and it was easy to turn that back on the "T". Besides a lot of "L"s think we are in their territory and because they don't really understand why, they don't really want to support us. There rant over,

Now your BIL that is more like what you will see in many cases. It doesn't take food out of their mouths or money from their pocket, it isn't bothering them

So what's next? Wearing your best Mini at the 4th of July family bar-b-que? You at least have one family member who backs you...maybe there will be more?

[DiannaRose]

So what's next? Wearing your best Mini at the 4th of July family bar-b-que? You at least have one family member who backs you...maybe there will be more?

Oh, THAT would go over well! Can you hear them now..."Why did you wear THAT?

...your pink skirt is so much cuter!"

LOL

[Lorileah]

Oh, THAT would go over well! Can you hear them now..."Why did you wear THAT?

...your pink skirt is so much cuter!"

LOL

But you don't need grease and smoke on the pink...wear something you don't mind getting a little dirty.

[Daniela76]

I do know exactly what you mean. My wife uses God in the other way though and says its sinful of me to even want to wear anything pertaining to a woman. God bless your bro in laws little pea pickin heart.

I like the way you said that Staci. You didn't say God is using her, she is using God. People do that all the time.

God's true love & compassion cannot be fathomed by us simple mortals. He knows what He's doing.

Good luck to you Dianna. I've actually been having good luck with my Christian friends & family. They're confused & concerned, but still supportive.

[corynn]

Oh, THAT would go over well! Can you hear them now..."Why did you wear THAT?

...your pink skirt is so much cuter!"

LOL

LOL what would you wife have to say about your CD'ing then after that there is nothing else to be said or done you have crossed the finish line with your breast forms still intact

And if the family stated that you should have worn the pink dress it so much cuter

then the only person left to cross that finish line is your WIFE

God blessed your brother -in-law with a very open heart too see that you are still you no matter what clothes you have on Congratulations Sister

always remember Sister
"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."
[SIZE=4]Philippians 4:13[/SIZE]

[DiannaRose]

God blessed your brother -in-law with a very open heart too see that you are still you no matter what clothes you have on Congratulations Sister

Well, since my BIL couched it in terms of what people get into sexually, what God blessed him with was an open mind about the kinky stuff...but the effect was the same and so I still am grateful to Him.

LOL

[sonia_dargency]

it seems that things are piecing themselves together for you, Dianna. that's another step toward freedom. good for you.

When I came out to my wife, one of her main concerns was that "she could not tell anyone" that she was alone to bear it.

I told her the same you did, that she can tell whoever she wants - I don't think she did as of today.

Since then, I prepare myself to have to face someone "who knows" and wonder how it would feel; but I know for a fact that the fear (if any) is stronger than the actual situation. At that point, I think I would not really care. it would even help me to sort out true friends.

Although I don't want to embarass anybody, I would love to be able to be more open about my attraction to female clothing.

Sonia

[Boogaloo]

It's tough but you'll make it

[sherri52]

That's great Dianna; I'm glad her brother is accepting in a way that could help to turn her alittle.

[NoraTV]

Your brother-in-law is very cool. and very wise. You and your SO are soooooo lucky.