The closet door opens - A new life begins!
Ok, first of all I have to say this is Tammy. Lucy disappeared tonight in a mind spinning haze.
I will explain why I will forever be Tammy, and I am so very sorry for the annoying mess I have caused recently with this.
Tonight has been the most exhilarating experience of my life, and here is why!
I have just arrived back from a local transgender meeting, the first time I have been completely open about who I am in public.
I arrived at the community center in drabs at 8pm not knowing what to expect. As I walked in I noticed 3 cds and 1 gg (as far as I could tell). I ordered a drink and asked if I could join them to which they replied 'of course'.
I sat there for a couple of minutes and thought to myself, 'They dont realise I'm a cd, they probably wonder what I'm doing sat next to them'. Then one of the girls asked if it was my first time, to which I nervously answered 'yes, my names Tammy'.
We exchanged a little chit chat and over the next half an hour more girls arrived. All very friendly but seemed a little perplexed at this guy sitting there.
Then came the shocker!
In walked one of my managers from work, in drabs, with his wife!
He noticed me as soon as he came in then proceeded to order a drink at the bar. He then went over to one of the girls, said something to her and looked over again. Then he said 'Do I know you?', to which I replied 'You sure do!'.
He came over and we laughed at the situation. He explained he knew me as soon as he had walked through the door, and the exact same thought had entered our heads as he came in, which was, 'Oh my god!'
Now I knew there was the remote possibility there may be someone there I knew, but it was such a remote chance it didn't really concern me, after all we would both be in the same boat anyway.
It turns out he has been dressing for many years with a fully supportive wife. He told me about the places he has been to, the nights out in various cities and the shopping trips during the day with various members of the group. During this time there had never been any problems with the public and I felt like a whole new world had just opened up before me eyes.
I explained that when I had first walked in I could barely stand up as my legs were shaking so much and that after talking to the girls for about 15 minutes I had started to relax. Then as he had walked in I nearly fainted.
Now I dont regret going at all. In fact I am absolutely delighted. I am actually getting out there now living my life as I want. There are thoughts rushing through my head at a supersonic rate, thoughts too incredible to comprehend.
I feel as though I have been driving down a dirt track for the past several years and have now been thrown onto a major highway. I have no idea where this new huge road will take me, but I know one thing. It's gonna be one hell of a ride!
Luv
Tammy
