I never see 'us'

[Patti Remick]

As I wrote my earlier post about 'passing' I thought about a post I had made several years ago (now closed) about seeing 'us'. I would like to here what everyone has to say about this subject currently.

Ive been a CDr my whole life. Im very closeted and do not go out dressed. Without a lot of professional help -makeup, hair, nails, etc- I cannot pass (and may not even with all that!). I do underdress - that is I go out wearing my female clothes under my male DRAB and I suspect many of us do that.

However I read about so many here that say that they are 'out and about' to varying degrees. Many say that they shop en-femme (or at least partially en-femme) at department stores, malls, shoe stores, etc. Yet I never see 'us'. And its not from lack of trying as Im always on the look out especially at malls or at any store or public place.

As its said 'it takes one to know one' so I feel I know what to look for. Im sure some can do it, but appearing 100 percent feminine (ie 'passing') is difficult. Bone structure, body shape, body size, facial expressions, hair, clothing, gait, etc can be difficult for any CD to 100 percent be female. I always keep a sharp eye when I shop and make it a point to look over the womens departments whenever I go shopping (even if Im not shopping in them myself). Im not faulting anyone Im just trying to understand why this is. Maybe its me.

Whether you are 'out' or not, 'pass' or not (your definition) - do you see 'us'? Please share your thoughts on this subject.

Patti Remick

[Super Amanda]

I live in southern Arizona, and it's pretty LGBT friendly around here. I see crossdressers in public fairly regular. And believe me, I am an expert stealth people watcher! I also see lots of TS girls, but they tend to blend in quite a bit more to the untrained eye, going mostly unnoticed.

[Staci G]

I am in a very GLBT city here but I don't get out much to see any one, when I do have that opportunity it is usually with my wife an I would never approach her with my wife in tow. I could never subject another CD'r to the kind of ridicule I get when I even mention panties. Although if I ever have the opportunity to I would love to meet some of my sisters in the area I know you're out there

[Kate Simmons]

Then I guess "we" must be doing a pretty good job. "Mission accomplished" I'd say.

[charlie]

I have seen several CD's in public and for the most part I smile and say to myself...good job! Who knows how many I never noticed. Things like being tall, big hands and adams apples are just hard to cover-up. Other then doing my nails, I can't make my hands smaller. So it is one of those flags that exist for people that are looking.

[joank]

I live in a conservative area of So Cal but there is a CD populatin of which I am one. I have seen one, maybe two CD's when I have been out in the past 5 years. I really don't look that much for CD.s, I look for great outfits and great looking women.

[Brandi Wyne]

I've seen Bigfoot an Elvis but no "Us." LOL just kidding. I've seen one or two here and there but like all skills, it does take patience and some real looking.

[Jessica_M]

I can't pass myself, but if I were to be able to... I wonder if the best complement you could give (if you were in drab) to another CD was to treat them as we would like to be treated...
I've spotted several CD/TV..
I was in line at the store, and a CD in front of me dropped the item she was buying... My reaction was to just pick it up for her...
I have held the door for a CD as I would for any woman. I think that although we would like to "talk shop".... If I were out and about, I would love to be just treated respectively as a woman.

I really wish I could get to that point..

[Loni]

sheese i am hunting trannies... (said elmer fud style)

i cover a good area at times.(i shop around) and have seen a number "of us" some not sure, and some gg thak look like "us".
who knows might have even have looked at a pretty girl and it could have been a tranny?

the do not ask, do not tell. works.

i do not ask, and do not want someone to walk up and ask me.
could lead to a very alkward moment.




.

[stephi]

Thats a fair point I have always kept eyes out form sister CDers and have yet to see one. It would be fab as I wouldnt feel so isolated. Dont know what I would do - run over and hug them, ignore them, wink and say go gurl!!??

Always think that going out would be fantastic but havent got the nerve or whatever for it.

Wife is quite amusing as she encourages me to go out "they will have the problem" not you doll strut your stuff

[Deidra Cowen]

I travel a good bit for work. On average I will see a CD, TGirl, TS maybe once a month. Gas stations for some reason, see them there a good amount! Then resturants. Last week I was in a big city. A girl checking in to a hotel right next to me caught my attention...I looked...she was very pretty, but my super Tgirl radar clicked in. I smiled very briefly then turned back to the desk clerk. I saw just a hint of surprise in her eyes that she was thinking I might have spotted her. Did not want her uncomfortable cause I know what a mess I am in situations where I am interacting out in public enfemme.

If one of ya was checking into a Hampton Inn in a large southern city last week on a WED I think it was.... that was me. Girl you looked great!

I am generally in boy mode and just leave them alone, but it brightens my whole day. Especially if the girl is smartly decked out in a nice outfit.

Of course I'm not talking about gay bars where on any night you see 1 to 10 of us!

[Karren H]

Probably the same reason you don't see aliens... Not looking in the right places?

Personally I've seen plenty. And could probably go find one if I wanted to... And not even at my local CD friends houses...

[Loni]

Probably the same reason you don't see aliens... Not looking in the right places?

Personally I've seen plenty. And could probably go find one if I wanted to... And not even at my local CD friends houses...

seen plenty?
and find one?
as in crossdressers?
or aliens from another planet?

.

[sherri52]

I have seen them here and there including in your area which is where I am from originally. In Boston you will find them in Copley Sq, Park Sq, and Macys. You'll also find them in Harvard Sq Cambridge. The first CD meeting was just held in Peabody ( I didn't Attend). In the summer you will find them I mean us in Provincetown, Hyannis, and Falmouth. The girls in the Worcester area always seem to have alot of things going and most of them belong to this site. Caroline is always lookig to have a good time with one of her sisters. You have to look a little harder

[ArleneRaquel]

US is everywhere.

[PetiteDuality]

I've only spotted one in my entire life

I can't pass myself, but if I were to be able to... I wonder if the best complement you could give (if you were in drab) to another CD was to treat them as we would like to be treated...
I've spotted several CD/TV..
I was in line at the store, and a CD in front of me dropped the item she was buying... My reaction was to just pick it up for her...
I have held the door for a CD as I would for any woman. I think that although we would like to "talk shop".... If I were out and about, I would love to be just treated respectively as a woman.

I really wish I could get to that point..

Maybe all the good experiences about "passing" and men holding doors for us are just close encounters with other kind crossdressers as yourself

[Tina L.]

Since i have been dressing i people watch more than ever which
would have been hard to do. I saw one of us in a cafe in Kansas. they ARE among us!





Tina L.

[tiffanytrapt19]

I think being able to see 'us' really depends on your area. Some area, like Amanda666's, is full of 'us'. I'm sure your area has them and I'm sure everyone has 'us', it might just be luck or..right time right place. idk. Also, just a theory, I think that people who live near or in bigger cities are more likely to have a lot of 'us' than rural areas. But like I said, it really depends on your area.

[slamddoger]

maybe thay so good at it thay blend in

[docrobbysherry]

Then, when they get closer, they all seem become females!

[Sandy Banks]

I've done the same......looked and looked and never seen "us"........so as someone said, we must be doing a good job!!!!

[txrobinm]

Dallas-Ft Worth area. One TS sometimes comes to work at my location. Saw another at the zoo with her wife and daughter last summer. Ran into another shopping at a CD-friendly boutique in Dallas in December. Had one for a client from 2000-2002 when she moved. Saw 2 at the opera around 1996. That's it for me outside of the gayborhood.

[Frédérique]

As its said 'it takes one to know one' so I feel I know what to look for. Im sure some can do it, but appearing 100 percent feminine (ie 'passing') is difficult.
Whether you are 'out' or not, 'pass' or not (your definition) - do you see 'us'? Please share your thoughts on this subject.

[SIZE="2"]I used to live in Eastern Massachusetts, Patti, so I understand your reluctance. I used to get all dressed up and have a place to go, and then I would study my appearance in the mirror from head to toe, thinking about every obstacle I would encounter in my quest to “pass” in some small way. I would often talk myself out of trying to pass, mainly because I worried too much, or I was too much of a perfectionist. This problem has plagued me in other ways, but the desire to crossdress freely in public magnified my fears when I was first starting out. I soon got over it, but I still demand a certain level of “polish” for even the most casual excursion into the real world…[/SIZE]