Need a little help from my girl friends

[Rachel C]

Hi girls,

The last time I was out in full drag was last Halloween. Since then, I've wanted to but haven't rounded up the courage. I've been talking with a gg friend of mine who has been encouraging me to go out more. I told her about a new, leather Coach bag I got and she has been encouraging me to carry it whenever I go out. She reminds me often that I should dress how I want and not worry of other people's opinions. She keeps telling me that it is ok to wear my skirts out.

So the other day I brought my new Coach bag out and put on some two inch high heel boots, the rest in drab. I went to several stores but didn't receive any comments. I even pulled my wallet out of my bag, but no remarks It was a wonderful experience getting used to my high heeled boots. I have used my Coach bag a couple of times since then and am getting more comfortable carrying it with me. I have even noticed myself eying the handbag stores now as I pass by and will be sure to add to my collection soon.

I would really like to go out next time to a cafe. I want to wear my long, black cotton skirt with my boots. I am thinking of a vintage leather jacket (with shoulder pads!) also. But I need a little more courage. Everyone on this forum knows the power of words to encourage us further.

I would love to hear some words of encouragement from you ladies like "you go girl" or "work that skirt, girl" to get me inspired. I just a little push out the door.And I promise ladies that I provide all the juicy details in my next post...

[Andy66]

You can do it, honee. It'll be fun. I've never personally seen a crossdresser get hassled in public. They usually get ignored, and occasionally they are even treated like minor celebrities.

[Kristen Marie]

I remember my first nervous steps out as Kristen and how everything got so much easier once I was actually out and about. Even if you get dressed and do window shopping in a strip mall or something easier than a big mall...do it girl!!!

[Gizmo, Debbie]

Go on, you can do it.
Yes the first few times out in full femme mode is scary. Yes you will get the occasional moron that tries to take the micky and draw attention to you but i think i can speak for most of us that have taken the plunge?............it IS so WORTH IT.
The more you venture out the more relaxed you become and not just while out enfemme iether but in general?

[Katesback]

My CD roomate carries a purse when dressed as a girl. He/She also carries a man purse when he is a boy. I hate it!

Why? I really cant explain myself since I support whatever anyone wants to do but on a deep level I cant get my hands around this issue. I guess from my point of view it is best when someone presents a man or woman that is typical within society. Men carrying purses is not exactly a very common thing.

Needless to say I have to reiterate that I support anyone doing whatever they want and that I am expressing a deep down personal perspective.

[gabimartini]

All I can say is go for it, if it makes you happy! People may stare, but if you are okay with it, just enjoy yourself and have a great time!

[Chari]

You always have to be comfortable and confident in yourself - no matter what you are wearing! Perhaps ask your GG friend to go out with you to build your confidence, but meet her somewhere and walk in five minutes late! Side note to "men carrying purses" - it is a growing fashion statement in EU, but they are called messenger bags, which will be another item for gals to barrow from guy fashions!

[Laura_Stephens]

90% of the time, I carry a man-purse in public.

[tricia_uktv]

Go girl go, but just be proud of yourself. That's as important as anything else. Try to find somewhere you can go where you will be accepted. Whil there try to develop confidence and attitude. Head up tits forward and have fun. Good luck hon.

[Cathytg]

I guess the best advice is from the commercial--"Just do it!"

You will find that, ultimately, it takes a personal decision to be totally illogical and simply do it. You will wonder later why it took so long. It will not make sense and it will not be simple - until you do it. It is the anticipation that is tough; dong it is pretty easy.

[charlie]

Hello Rachel!
Wow! It seems to me that you do not need any encouragement alt all. If you are not getting all dressed and perfect, yet still are racing out half dressed and shopping during the day, you are the embodiment of courage! I go out and about, but everything has to be just fixed, painted, straight and as perfect as I can make it. You seem to dash out with just a skirt and hot boots. I should go shopping with you for courage!

[Mandy Burgundy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ2HcRl4wSk

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I want to address the OP first, Rachel you're incredibly brave to go out and just be comfortable doing what you do. I also noticed no commentary or issues the first time I carried a purse, and in fact the cashier at Target when I bought it said "is this for a gift?" and I said "Nope, for me," and she said "it's awesome, nice choice."

When you say you're going to wear the long skirt and boots, are you going to be enfemme then or just wearing the skirt and boots and carrying the purse?

Now, onto another comment:

My CD roomate carries a purse when dressed as a girl. He/She also carries a man purse when he is a boy. I hate it!

Why? I really cant explain myself since I support whatever anyone wants to do but on a deep level I cant get my hands around this issue. I guess from my point of view it is best when someone presents a man or woman that is typical within society. Men carrying purses is not exactly a very common thing.

Needless to say I have to reiterate that I support anyone doing whatever they want and that I am expressing a deep down personal perspective.

It's exactly this kind of attitude that has really shaped a lot of my threads recently. The fact that often it is trans people who seem hell-bent on reinforcing the very engrained gender roles that keep all of us down to begin with. How do you not see that it is the things like guys carrying purses that are the key to pushing social change? It's a little, subtle move that shifts the line just a bit, and the more things like that happen the easier big things will be.

[Rachel C]

Thanks so much to all the girls who replied and offered their support. It means so much to me! To answer a previous questions, yes - I want to go in full drag to the cafe with the long skirt and boots.

Going in full drag is not a regular occurance for me yet, so yes, I do enjoy pushing the drab look as much as possible. That means incorporating accessories like a handbag as often as possible. Or wearing a pair of high heel boots with woman's jeans or leather pants. It means more frequency while allowing me to express myself in different ways. I don't get many comments, but all have been positive so far. I've had women say "that's a cute purse" or "I like those boots, girl!." I have worn a kilt out on several occassions in male mode and have receieved great responses. I can't tell you how many woman have said, "love that skirt!." I guess these are baby steps, but it is my own personal style and seems to work for me.

Please keep the encouragement going girls! I am half way out the door in my skirt!

[Andy66]

Please keep the encouragement going girls! I am half way out the door in my skirt!

Don't make me have to kick your butt the rest of the way out the door. When are you going out? I'm sure we all want to hear details.

[sherri52]

Rachel: You don't need any words from us. You have all the words you need inside of you. You know you want to go out and you know that you want to be dressed. Put yourself together, pick a day and go out with your GG friend and have a great time.

[crossdrezzer1]

start off with a fem blouse and fem jeans,,wear flats or some kind of non heel fem shoes and go out shopping like dress barn or fashion bug out of town,,,try it out,,,then progress from there as you see fit... thats how i started and loved it..it gives you the feel from knowing peoples respective

[Nicole Bishop]

Go somewhere away from home for the day rent a cheaper hotel rm and get to work looking your best then go to a Starbucks or something and then back to the hotel . The courage will come once youve done it to do it again in larger fashion and so on and by the end of the day you will wish you could stay . Go home assess your good stuff and your mistakes and start planning your next outing . I can tell you from experience IT IS ADDICTING. It just keeps getting worse sweetheart it is a disease but one I dont mind the symptoms of

Hugs

Nicole

[Fab Karen]

To begin with, just going out your door en femme, contrary to paranoid thoughts that may come up, nobody is staring at your door all day & night watching your every move.
Being your first time, you might go for a short walk down the street near it before entering the cafe, just to start to feel used to being out in the world. You'll just be another member of the crowd out & about. And focus on what you're doing ( like getting coffee ), don't think about what you're wearing.

[Rianna Humble]

Thanks so much to all the girls who replied and offered their support. It means so much to me! To answer a previous questions, yes - I want to go in full drag to the cafe with the long skirt and boots.

You want to do it, your GG friend wants you to do it and once you've done it you will want to do it again. What can I say? Go for it, but be prepared to become addicted.

Going in full drag is not a regular occurence for me yet, so yes, I do enjoy pushing the drab look as much as possible. That means incorporating accessories like a handbag as often as possible. Or wearing a pair of high heel boots with woman's jeans or leather pants. It means more frequency while allowing me to express myself in different ways.

This is also what it's about - expressing who you are.

Please keep the encouragement going girls! I am half way out the door in my skirt!

I don't have any skirts with doors in them so I go out the regular door in my building

[Jamie001]

This is one of the strangest posts that I have seen on a site the is about supporting transgender issues. Aren't we supposed to support transgender expression and being yourself? If you have ever been out of the country to Europe or Asia, you would realize that males carrying purses is quite commonplace.

These types of attitudes and opinions coming from within the transgender community are the reason that many CDs cannot accept themselves.

My CD roomate carries a purse when dressed as a girl. He/She also carries a man purse when he is a boy. I hate it!

Why? I really cant explain myself since I support whatever anyone wants to do but on a deep level I cant get my hands around this issue. I guess from my point of view it is best when someone presents a man or woman that is typical within society. Men carrying purses is not exactly a very common thing.

Needless to say I have to reiterate that I support anyone doing whatever they want and that I am expressing a deep down personal perspective.