Thanks, Oprah

[ReneeT]

I never thought I would have reason to thank Oprah, but I do. Since I have started dressing again (about 6 wks, following a year-long purge), my wife and I have been having a rough go of it. She really though Renee was gone this time, and was quite taken aback when I told her she was back. We have been gong through all the same issues again – fear, misunderstanding, anger – you name it. She just has not been able to get her head around the fact that Renee is an essential part of me. I was out of town all last week, and before I left we really had a knock down, drag em out fight, even throwing the D word around. (we have been married for 21 yrs, and I told her about my dressing before marriage). Things settled down a bit before I left, and we had some productive conversations while I was away. We were talking as I was driving home, and she told me about a show on Oprah last week about Kimberly, a TS. The story really seemed to connect with my wife, in that she for the first time could see that maybe Renee might really be a part of me, not just an “addiction”, as she calls it. We watched it again together, and it has been the basis of more productive conversations. In the end, she has told me that she might be able to tolerate, and maybe even one day accept Renee. We have a long way to go, but this is a start.

Thanks, Oprah

[carrie-ann]

Congrats for the new understanding on her part. I wish you two the best from here.

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Renee. That is awesome. I know the issue has not yet been resolved, but at least it appears to headed in the correct direction. Sometimes it takes a neutral third party to make that little click in understanding happen. That is why I am a strong believer in using a good therapist to act as the third party. It doesn't always work, but it does a lot of the time.

PS: I have seen several programs on television that interviewed and dealt with transitioning and/or transitioned people, mostly, MtF. Some were on the PBS channels, others on talk channels. maybe you could do a search and find a few more decent programs that could further your cause. Good luck Renee.

[Staci G]

I am happy for you Renee, I am glad Oprah had a real TG person instead of the Jerry Springer rejects. I wish my wife would understand as well but she doesn't call it an addiction. It is more along the lines of I am a freak and it's a sin ect.. so I am in the don't ask don't tell realm. Good luck in the future talks with her.

[sara_also]

I really hope things work out for you both

[Joann Smith]

It was the the one that was done about the 8 year old TG who refused to be a little boy any more that opened my wifes eyes about the true depth of what we are going through now....

Joann

[Miranda09]

I think things will work out fine Renee...just be patient and she'll learn to accept and even have fun with Renee.

[sherri52]

That's great Renee, I'm glad that something might be going well for you.

[Stephanie Miller]

Hope all goes well Renee. You have a lot of us rooting for you both.
And like a lot of girls here, I'm always surprised when the shows get something right instead of, like Staci said, they get Jerry "Springerized".


And for the girls out there that may not have seen it ... I think this is the clip you are refering to , isn't it?
http://www.everythingoprah.com/2010/...erly-reed.html

Got to give it to Kimberly, she sure turned out pretty. You go girl

[lingerieLiz]

Renee my wife was watching the show and called me in to see it. I thought it was one of the better shows about gender and the diferentiation from sex. I posted it earier, but it was moved to media by admin. Too bad because it was something I think would have benefitted the casual viewer of this site. I'm not sure Oprah got it, but it was a very good show. Kimberly did a good job of seperating gender identification from sexual orientation. She is dating a girl and her girlfriend was shown explaining that sexual attraction had nothing to do with gender.

[Sarah Doepner]

It's a shame that for every fact based and honest presention there are a half dozen twisted and inaccurate shows on the issue that get 10 times the viewers as the good one. I don't know how to change it but would sure like to find a way to start.

[Satrana]

There is a great HBO movie called Normal which always makes my wife and I cry buckets when we watch it. It is extremely well acted and very emotional and for sure will melt the heart of SOs who struggle to understand.

The only problem for CDs using TS stories is that it may result in increasing the fears of the SO that you will transition and she will lose her husband. It is important that you are able to differentiate between the two.

[jennCD]

My wife actually called me at work to let me know about the Oprah show... and even turned on the re-run that night when I was home so that we could watch it (since she missed much of it during the afternoon).

I was quite surprised because it's been almost a year since there's been any mention of "this part" of me between us. It was a good show and I do have an interest to see "Prodigal Sons" when it opens here in NYC but I expect my wife will not be interested so I'm thinking it'll be a rental eventually.

jenn

[Tomara]

Hi Renee
I am happy to hear that you might have a new window of opportunity of understanding in your relationship.
Good luck to you both.
Tomara

[Teri Jean]

Renee it is good that there may be a ray of hope and understanding. It is wonderful that something like a program out of the blue can help make that connection.

When I announced my transition there was individuals who accepted and those who did not. One close gg friend did not want to tell her husband for concern he would not understand but finally did. Well Pete had watched a program about trassexuals and there was a point that connected for him, so when she told him he said "okay, but Teri still is invited to the lake home to fish and hang out".

So the point is never give up and when help comes your way, no matter where it comes from, accept it and be happy.

Hugs to you and your wife. Teri

[SuzanneBender]

Renee dealing with the rejection of the person we love most is always tough, but hang in there. We owe it to our loved ones to give them as much time to accept us as it to us to accept ourselves.

It sounds like this piece really has provided a jump start to that move towards acceptance. Just make sure you don't overwhelm her simply because she has offered an olive branch. Keep the communications open and talk about each others feelings.

I am amazed at how much this well made piece spoke to so many spouses out there.

[ReneeT]

Thanks for all the replies and support. This is a difficult journey, but I have hope that we can make progress. Time will tell. I sure wish she could meet some of you lovely supportive gals

[rocketscientist]

It's always nice to hear positive stories. Best of luck to you Renee, and thanks to the girls who pointed the way to the Oprah segments. Hugs, Tonya

[Gillian]

Hi Renee,

I am so happy for you that you are finding a way through this, as you say you are what you are and after such a period of time it isn't likely that you will change so if you can find an accomodation with her then it may be a rocky road but is a road none the less.

[kimdl93]

Its a bit early yet, Renee, but maybe if things progress for you, you could invite her to join and meet some of the great, supportive GGs on this site.

[SouthernBelle.GG]

We watched it again together, and it has been the basis of more productive conversations. In the end, she has told me that she might be able to tolerate, and maybe even one day accept Renee. We have a long way to go, but this is a start.

This made me so happy to read.

[msniki48]

I never thought I would have reason to thank Oprah, but I do. Since I have started dressing again (about 6 wks, following a year-long purge), my wife and I have been having a rough go of it. She really though Renee was gone this time, and was quite taken aback when I told her she was back. We have been gong through all the same issues again – fear, misunderstanding, anger – you name it. She just has not been able to get her head around the fact that Renee is an essential part of me. I was out of town all last week, and before I left we really had a knock down, drag em out fight, even throwing the D word around. (we have been married for 21 yrs, and I told her about my dressing before marriage). Things settled down a bit before I left, and we had some productive conversations while I was away. We were talking as I was driving home, and she told me about a show on Oprah last week about Kimberly, a TS. The story really seemed to connect with my wife, in that she for the first time could see that maybe Renee might really be a part of me, not just an “addiction”, as she calls it. We watched it again together, and it has been the basis of more productive conversations. In the end, she has told me that she might be able to tolerate, and maybe even one day accept Renee. We have a long way to go, but this is a start.

Thanks, Oprah

Renee, I am very happy for you...the information out there is hitting home...i used to give my wife everything i could find...one day she saw something that gave her the AHAH! moment... you never know when it will hit. jest keep being kind and give good info.

best of luck

[Starling]

Thanks for all the replies and support. This is a difficult journey, but I have hope that we can make progress. Time will tell. I sure wish she could meet some of you lovely supportive gals

That would be good, Renee, as would getting some SOs together to socialize with a group of us. I think it would dispel a lot of fears and stereotypes. Meanwhile, good luck to both of us. I'm pretty much on the same rocky path.

Lallie

[Jenny Gurl]

Sometimes it takes a third party to confirm what you are trying to get someone to understand. It is one thing coming from you, but when a "documentary" supports your statements it gives it a little more credibility. I am glad someone else got a benefit from the show. My SO called me to tell me she had just seen the same show and it was really good. Once I told her I had this other side of me she started looking into it more often. She was always supporting of my other side, but now she understands it much better. Here is the article strait off Oprah's web site. http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Filmm...der-Transition